The Sound of Leaves
by Iruka Sensei871
Summary: When Orochimaru captures and marks Kakashi, our masked hero's loyalties and his sanity are tested as he descends into the hell of his own soul. Orochimaru/Kaka rape , Kaka/Anko. Rated for violence, language, and mentions of sex and rape. Will keep the sex within guidelines, so some parts will be vaguer than my readers are used to. Children die, and torture. Yaoi and het.
1. Chapter 1

AN: This is an airline version of a story written for . I removed the sex and graphic scenes to make it appropriate for this site, so there will be some scenes that are intentionally left vague. There are references to rape, but I'll keep it mature and not adult. The main pairings are Orochimaru/Kakashi (rape) and Kakashi/Anko, but there are also Jiraiya/Tsunade, Kabuto/Orochimaru, Orochimaru/Anko (rape) Orochimaru/surprise (one-sided) and Sakura/surprise (I don't want to give it away.) Also, there's a Kabuto/OC relationship that I really enjoyed. Sakura is a bit OOC, but I could see her going this direction.

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Orochimaru was rarely denied anything he wanted but for longer than he wanted to remember he'd been trying to get the Sharingan. Itachi had escaped him; that was his own fault. He shouldn't have tried to bite him so soon. The chances that Itachi would have survived being marked were slim anyway.

Sasuke was a disappointment. Orochimaru never would have thought the boy would have proven so powerful. He had almost died fighting Sasuke, and it was only luck that had saved him.

So he had gone after the weakest Sharingan user, Kakashi. Even if he had less ability than Itachi or Sasuke, Kakashi had killed five of his best nins and injured him before Orochimaru could bring him down.

Orochimaru limped into Kabuto's medical lab, proud as always of his apprentice's efficient use of his resources. He loved the medical area, so clean and well ordered. Kabuto was his most prized ninja, even if he'd never let him know. The kid kept striving to prove himself, and it kept him motivated.

"I have a present for you, Kabuto-kun," he said. Kabuto turned and took in what he was seeing. Orochimaru carried someone draped over his shoulder. Kabuto could tell the man had a large gash on the back of his leg. Blood dripped onto Orochimaru's clothes and splashed onto the ground. From what Kabuto could tell, some of that blood was probably Orochimaru's.

He took Orochimaru's burden and laid him on a bed. "Is that really Kakashi?" he asked.

"I finally caught him alone," Orochimaru said. "He's usually not on solo missions."

"Let me take care of you," Kabuto said. "I can get him later."

"I'll live," Orochimaru said. "He might not. Kakashi is crucial to my plans. I want you to give him the same treatment you'd give me."

He didn't miss the quick flash of emotion that crossed Kabuto's face. Jealousy was a weakness in a ninja.

"And if he dies, you die," Orochimaru said. He had no patience with weakness. "I'm not badly injured. I'll be back later."

Orochimaru looked at Kakashi, now his personal property. Kabuto shuddered. The smile on Orochimaru's face would freeze a volcano. His thin reptilian lips stretched, allowing Kabuto to see his sharp teeth. A forked tongue slipped out of his mouth and flickered momentarily.

"I'll have the Sharingan," Orochimaru said. "I trust you to heal my future body. Don't let me down."

"I've never failed you, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto said.

Orochimaru put all his effort into walking casually to his house. He didn't want the Sound citizens to see how badly he was injured. He knew that they venerated him because of his power.

"Good morning Orochimaru-sama!" a young Kinoichi said. Orochimaru tried to remember her name, but he could feel himself growing weaker, and he didn't have the time to deal with her.

She was about 16 and beautiful - in a thick-set Sound woman kind of way - and she beamed at him, her blush setting off her bright red hair. He could feel her emotions through the curse mark. Affection and sexual attraction reached him from the girl. He couldn't read her thoughts, but he could feel what she was experiencing on the surface of her mind. He used her curse mark to project his own fondness for the Sound nins.

"Good morning," he said. "I trust you've been training hard." He had to work not to let her see his impatience. He remembered that she was one of the best in her class.

"Always sir. I want to make you proud."

He ruffled her hair, showing her his best paternal smile. In Konoha that smile would have been feared. Here it was a treasured mark of approval.

"Are you injured sir?" she asked, frowning at the stains on his uniform.

"Not much," he lied. "It's almost all my enemy's blood." He picked a bloody leaf from his chest. Konoha nins bleed more freely than we do. It's all that easy living, I expect."

She laughed at his joke. It was a propaganda he'd created, giving them the idea that living in the harsh winter north made the Sound ninjas strong. It wasn't entirely untrue. Konoha was a weak place, in his opinion. The easy weather encouraged laziness.

He excused himself as soon as politely possible. "I expect to hear more good things about you Lesha," he said, finally remembering her name. He usually wouldn't have such a memory lapse, but he was feeling light-headed.

When he reached his room he sank onto the bed, too exhausted to change his bloody clothes. _At least Kakashi's strong,_ he thought. He wanted the best body possible, and Kakashi would work nicely. He just hoped he hadn't injured Kakashi's knee too badly. He had sliced through it, almost severing the leg, but he had faith in his precious medic.

Orochimaru closed his eyes and began the painful process of shedding. When he was finished he felt rejuvenated, and he decided to have a look at his latest acquisition. He'd always been fond of Kakashi. He was a dedicated ninja, even when he was a child. He hadn't known Kakashi well, but he'd been an adorable little boy when Orochimaru had known him, serious and deadly. There was something about a serious child that made him feel hope for the future. He'd make sure Kakashi enjoyed his time with the Sound before Orochimaru took his body. He'd like it better than that hypocritical village he came from. A straightforward man like Kakashi would have to see the obvious advantages of the Sound when given the chance.

He didn't bother checking Kakashi's chart. His knew his people thought of him differently, but his medical experience was restricted to cloning. He was a technician, not a doctor. He'd always had a competent doctor around to take care of the medical practices, so he confined himself to the cloning program. He considered it a large part of the Sound's future.

"How is he?"

"He'll live," Kabuto said. "I could only partly heal the worst of his wounds for the moment, but with a few weeks work he should be able to travel. I give him a month or two and he can fight, at least with the Sharingan and some jutsus. It will be at least four months to a year after that before he's at peak condition, even with proper medical attention."

"I can wait," Orochimaru said. "It will take at least two years for the curse mark to mature enough for him to reach the third stage, even if his will breaks soon. I've never tried to mark an adult before. If he lives through it there's no knowing how long it will take for the mark to mature. I can't take his body until then. I'll let Konoha look after him for me until then. He has to accept what I'm doing before I can take his body properly. If I lock him up here he'll never reach the third stage; it has to be voluntary. There are ways that I can force this, but they aren't as useful to me."

"Well planned as always, Orochimaru-sama."

"Now leave me alone for awhile," Orochimaru said. "I want to spend some time with him."

Kabuto had tied Kakashi's wrists and ankles to the bed, just in case he felt like fighting when he woke. After Kabuto left Orochimaru lifted the sheet covering Kakashi. He wanted to see what he'd bargained five of his best ninjas for. He was surprised to see how well-built little Kashi-kun had become. The feelings Kakashi inspired in him were more adult now.

He pulled the oxygen mask away so he could see his face, checking to see that Kakashi's chest still rose and fell in the same slow, steady rhythm.

Kabuto had bound the left side of Kakashi's face in bandages, covering the Sharingan to keep him from using it as a weapon. Orochimaru took in the delicate, almost feminine features of Kakashi's face. He ran his finger along Kakashi's jaw line, noticing the slight acne problem where the mask covered his face. It was hardly surprising, considering he kept his skin constantly covered with fabric that must be soaked in sweat on many missions.

It was a pity Kakashi didn't care more about his own looks. That almost androgynous face covered an absurdly macho attitude. The acne could easily be taken care of with a little care.

Kakashi's face looked deceptively peaceful in the deep slumber of unconsciousness. His mouth lay slightly open, vulnerable and inviting. He felt like indulging himself. _He's mine anyway, _he thought. He slipped his long, forked tongue into Kakashi's mouth, exploring Kakashi's limp tongue. He felt a perfect row of teeth. Orochimaru savored the experience, even enjoying Kakashi's sour sleeping breath.

_All mine, _he thought.

He ran a hand over the many scars on Kakashi's torso, feeling the ridges of old cuts and the smooth areas left from burns.

_He could have had most of those taken care of easily with a bit of plastic surgery, _he thought. He felt more irritation at Kakashi's obvious neglect. His back was probably just as bad. It was a crime to allow such a fine body to remain disfigured like this.

He ran his hand along Kakashi's chest, caressing it gently. Orochimaru lifted Kakashi's member, inspecting it critically for deformities or disease. He didn't see anything that bothered him. On the contrary, Kakashi was a beautiful specimen, and he'd be a perfect vessel after his skin problems were dealt with.

"If you're finished molesting him, I have some tests to run," he heard behind him. He'd been too distracted to notice Kabuto's entrance. It was unusual for him to be so unobservant, but he had such a pretty new toy.

"I'm just making sure all his equipment is in working order," Orochimaru said. "When you run your tests, check for STDs. I've heard he's promiscuous, and I don't want any surprises."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama. Anything else, sir?" he asked. His words were polite and servile as usual, but Kabuto's face had a dark look.

"That's all, Kabuto-kun." He decided to break his own rule regarding the affection-starved ninja.

"I trust him to you because you're the best here. I know you'll keep him alive and well for me."

Orochimaru felt disgust and then pity at the grateful look on Kabuto's face. He remembered finding Kabuto in the ruins of his village, injured but defiant. He didn't cry; he just accepted the fact that he had a new place in life and allowed Orochimaru to bandage his wounds and take him home. He only showed weakness to Orochimaru. To the rest of the world he was a fearsome ninja, with Orochimaru he was still a hurt child, searching for love.

Orochimaru felt affection of most of his ninjas, even if he felt irritated with them most of the time as well. He had to let them see some emotion occasionally, for strategic reasons.

"Sometimes I forget how hard you work for the Sound," Orochimaru said. "I'm so used to you being dependable I overlook your dedication. I do appreciate it." He didn't like showing such emotions, but he felt like Kabuto needed to remember how they'd connected when he was younger. He didn't need Kabuto killing Kakashi out of jealousy.

"I work that hard for you, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto said. "I love the Sound, but you are my inspiration."

"Keep up the good work then. Have a ninja stay here if you leave, and contact me as soon as he's awake. I want to be one of the first people he talks to.

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Kakashi woke to a pounding headache and pain in most of his body. He couldn't remember why he was in a hospital bed, or why the room looked different than any of the hospital rooms he'd been in before.

There were subtle differences. The walls were stone instead of stucco, the layout of the room was different, and there were no windows. Perhaps they'd put in a new wing.

He tried to move, but found that he was secured to the bed. _O shit, _he thought. _I must have attacked hospital staff. _It wasn't unheard of. Sometimes injured ninjas woke up without a clear idea that the battle they'd left was over, and they struck out at anyone in range. Semi-conscious ninjas were a deadly menace.

_I hope I didn't injure anyone too seriously, _he thought. He tried to remember, but all he could think of was that he had been in a battle with Sound nins. He remembered getting hit in the leg and going down after Orochimaru had sliced him through the knee. He'd already had some minor wounds and drained his chakra almost to the point of exhaustion. He had a sword thrust through the shoulder; he'd barely managed to take a blood pill in time to keep that one from dropping him. A shallow slash across his chest still gave him pain every time he inhaled. He hadn't been fully healed. Medical healing wasn't magic; it took time, and he knew he'd be in pain from this for a long time.

The knee wound had been the end of the battle for him.

The oxygen mask bothered him, but he couldn't move enough to do anything about it with his wrists tied. His throat was parched, and he coughed dryly.

He heard movement behind him, and the scratch of someone moving a chair as they stood up. He heard a female voice. "You're awake."

The person approached from his blind side and removed the oxygen mask. She was behind him, and he couldn't see her. Kakashi hadn't recognized the voice. Tsunade must have been worried about him if she posted someone to watch him.

He tried to talk, but his throat was too dry, and he just coughed. The person behind him removed his oxygen mask and poured a bit of water into his mouth from a paper cup. He tried to move his head to see who was helping him, but a sharp pain shot through his neck. He didn't remember being hit there, but he must have damaged something when he fell. It seemed as if his whole body was a mass of pain.

"Thank you," he said when he could speak. "Did I hurt a nurse or something? Why am I tied down?"

The person helping him chuckled. "The Hokage's orders. He'll tell me when to untie you."

"He?" Kakashi asked. "Did something happen to Tsunade while I was gone?"

His helper stepped into his field of vision. "Tsunade? Where do you think you are?"

Kakashi saw the white robe, the purple belt, and the hitai-ate with the Sound symbol. He heard alarms sound from various machines as his heart rate and respiration rose.

A Kinoichi with a scar across her cheek looked at the machines. "I'm not going to hurt you. Calm the fuck down Kakashi."

"What's going on?" Kakashi asked.

"I'll leave that explanation to Orochimaru-sama. I'm going to report to him now." She smiled, a thin line across her face. "Welcome to the Sound Village Kakashi."

He didn't want to be there when Orochimaru arrived. He tested his bonds, but Kabuto had tied him tightly. If he wasn't injured he might have been able to break the ropes, but as he was he didn't even know if he could stand on his own. His muscles protested against even that much exertion.

Orochimaru entered, followed by Kabuto. Kabuto turned off the alarms on the machines and reached for a needle.

"What is that?" Orochimaru asked.

"A light sedative," Kabuto answered. "Just enough to calm him."

"I don't need that," Kakashi said.

Kabuto pointed to the monitors. "Your readings say otherwise. You've been badly injured, and your heart doesn't need the stress."

Kakashi snarled at him and pulled against the ropes.

Orochimaru put his hand on Kakashi's shoulder. "I kept you alive for a reason, Kashi-kun. Let Kabuto treat you."

"It isn't as if you have a choice," Kabuto said, lifting the needle and flicking the end. He injected Kakashi and watched as his heart rate and respiration slowed until they reached normal readings.

"Now that you're calm we can talk," Orochimaru said. "Kabuto, wait outside. I'll get you if you're needed."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama."

Orochimaru pulled a chair up to Kakashi's bed. "We need to discuss your future, Kashi-kun. You and I are going to become much better acquainted."

"If you need a new friend Craigslist has a good personal section," Kakashi said. "Somehow I don't think we're compatible."

Orochimaru chuckled. "Oh Kashi-kun. Just like when you were a child. You were always brave beyond your means. You don't need to fear me anymore."

Kakashi kept silent and settled for trying to send out as much killing intent as he could muster. There wasn't any practical reason to do it; it was just the only way he could fight, and he needed to fight.

Orochimaru laughed again. "It's been a long time since anyone amused me this much. We'll talk more later. Until then rest and let Kabuto treat you."

Orochimaru traded places with Kabuto, who took Kakashi's blood and performed a few jutsus. "Are you in any pain?" he asked Kakashi.

Kakashi didn't answer. He was going to make things as difficult as possible for Kabuto.

"You're not doing yourself any favors," Kabuto said. "I follow orders, and my orders are to get you well. If you cooperate you could get through this easier."

Kakashi cleared his throat, pulling as much mucus to his mouth as he could. He spat a wet glob onto Kabuto's face.

Kabuto wiped his face. "Have it your way. You'll change your tune when Orochimaru is done with you."

After that Kabuto didn't try to speak to him. When he left for the night the Kinoichi came back in the room and sat behind him. Kakashi didn't like her where he couldn't see her. He knew why she did it, and he approved of her attention to details, even if he was sedated and bound. It still made him nervous. He'd never really gotten used to being half-blind, and having people on his bad side always bothered him, especially when that person was a Sound nin.

At least they put him in a hospital gown. He spent his time trying to think of a way to escape. Kabuto fed him and untied him to use the portable urinal occasionally, under the close supervision of the Kinoichi. He couldn't even hold himself erect enough to use the facilities; there was no way to fight. He had a history with Kabuto, but he'd never met the Kinoichi. It was an outside chance, but he might be able to charm her. He doubted it, but it was worth a chance.

"It's getting dull in here, and I just realized I don't even know your name," he said.

"Kiria," she said. "Xenon Kiria. You might remember my brother Sil."

"I'm sorry Kiria. The name Sil isn't familiar."

"You killed him the other day," she said.

_Well shit. There's no charming this one,_ he thought.

"I'm sorry for your loss," he said, trying to be diplomatic.

"No you're not," she said, "and you shouldn't be. If our places were reversed, you know what I would have said?"

"What?"

"I would have said "good". You Konoha ninjas don't do anything differently than we do. We just have the balls to take responsibility for our actions. Konoha wants to think it's gentle and civilized and that we're barbaric. You're no better than us. At least in the Sound we know where we stand."

Orochimaru's arrival interrupted the uncomfortable conversation. As always he was shadowed by Kabuto. Kabuto checked Kakashi. "He's not strong enough yet," Kabuto said. "He won't be for some time."

"You're dismissed," Orochimaru said to Kiria. "Wait outside until you're needed."

"Sir, may I speak with him before I leave?" Kiria asked.

"Of course. I want Kakashi to get to know our ninjas. Do you want privacy?"

"If I may, Orochimaru-sama."

He stepped into the hall, leaving Kiria alone with Kakashi. "I want you to know I don't blame you. He was doing his job, and you were doing yours. Normally I'd seek revenge, but you'll be family soon, and I don't want us to have this between us. The only reason I brought it up is that you need to see that we're not villains. We're just another ninja village. Try to see us from our point of view."

"I'll think about it," he said. He wouldn't, of course, but there was no sense antagonizing her. She was at least willing to speak to him.

"Welcome to the family."

He had no idea what she meant, but he didn't think any good could come from it.

Orochimaru sat in the chair by the bed, and Kabuto leaned against the wall with his arms crossed against his chest.

"I had to wait until you were strong enough to handle this. It's been a couple days since you joined us. How are you feeling?"

"Well enough to kill a few more Sound ninjas," he said.

Kabuto bristled in the corner, but Orochimaru laughed again. "Somehow I doubt that, Kashi-kun. You won't feel like killing us much longer."

"What do you plan on doing with me?" Kakashi asked.

"You're going to get to know us very well. I'm going to introduce you to our ninjas and civilians. Then you're going to return to Konoha, and you're taking a bit of the Sound with you."

"Why the hell would you do that?" Kakashi asked.

"Because when you return to Konoha you're going to see your village for what it really is. You'll see how they treat Naruto, who's been punished all his life for a crime he didn't commit. He'd be a hero here, just like your Sensei intended. You'll see how Konoha isn't better than the other ninja villages, just more set on pretending to be a kind, gentle place. Eventually you'll return to me, but not before you help me begin to seal the breach with Konoha."

"That's doubtful," Kakashi said.

"In a couple weeks you'll be well enough for us to begin. Get to know Kiria. She's typical of our village. I've instructed her to speak with you openly about anything except village secrets. She's actually very curious about you."

"I killed her brother. I don't think she's going to want to speak with me."

"She volunteered for this mission," Orochimaru said. "She wanted to prove to me that she could overcome her rightful need for vengeance and perform her duty to the Sound. You can see that we live by honor as well."

"I never questioned that you lived by your own sense of honor," Kakashi said. "The problem is that your sense of honor involves a complete disregard for collateral damage and life in general. Konoha may have its faults, but we don't kill indiscriminately. We're tools, yes, but here your ninjas are disposable."

"You don't know how wrong you are," Orochimaru said. "I regret every ninja I lose. I'm sure Tsunade does as well. The difference is that she sheds tears. We build memorials and get revenge. It's our way of the ninja. We're not monsters. You'll understand in time. All ninja villages are viscous. It's our way. You were ANBU. How many people did you torture? How many children have you killed on missions?"

"I did my duty," Kakashi said.

"As we do ours," Orochimaru said.

He left Kakashi to Kabuto again. "Orochimaru-sama said I'm supposed to speak to you," Kabuto said.

"About what?" Kakashi asked. "I don't think we have much to say to each other."

"He said he wants me to put aside old differences and embrace you into the Sound family. It's not something I want to do, but he wants it, and that's what matters."

"I don't like all this talk about the Sound family. I'm a Konoha ninja. I'm not defecting. This is really weak. You should know better."

"Regardless, I follow orders. If Orochimaru-sama says to get to know you, then I'll get to know you."

Kakashi signified his refusal of Kabuto's plan with two raised middle fingers.

"Real classy Kakashi," Kabuto said. He put his hand on Kakashi's neck, and Kakashi felt warm chakra through his skin sinking into the muscle underneath.

"When I was a child I thought my father was god," Kabuto said. "He was a doctor, and I had this idea that he could heal anyone of anything."

"Why are you telling me this?" Kakashi asked.

"Just following orders. If you won't talk to me I'll talk to you. I'm not happy about it, but I always do what he wants."

"It's not going to accomplish anything," Kakashi said.

Kabuto moved to the shoulder injury. "Kiria," he called. "Come in here."

She stepped in from the hallway and stood behind Kakashi on his blind side. Kabuto untied Kakashi's right arm. "Lift your arm if you can," Kabuto said.

"Fuck you," Kakashi said.

"Fine," Kabuto said. "You just won't do anything the easy way, will you?" He lifted Kakashi's arm, stopping when he saw Kakashi wince from the pain.

He put some chakra into the shoulder wound and lifted his arm again. This time Kakashi didn't respond.

"I can treat most of your wounds easily, but that wound through your leg will hold you down for at least a few months, possibly longer," Kabuto said.

"I've had worse," Kakashi said.

Kabuto untied Kakashi's other arm and ankles. "Help me turn him over," he told Kiria.

While they were moving him, Kakashi tried to strike at Kabuto, but it was a weak gesture. Kabuto held his arm down.

"I love a strong spirit," Kiria said.

"I hate impracticality," Kabuto said. "Quit being a fool Kakashi."

He rebound Kakashi's wrists and ankles. The deep cut on Kakashi's leg ran from the middle of his thigh to the top of his calf muscle. The knee was sliced almost in half. Kabuto checked his stitches.

"So my family was happy," Kabuto said. "I wanted to be a doctor like my father. My mother was a teacher, and my older sister was in medical school. Then one day I was eating breakfast, and I was watching my father butter toast. It occurred to me that those hands were stronger than death. Doctors could fight death itself."

Kakashi thought about Sakura and Tsunade, two of the strongest Kunoichis he'd ever known. Doctors were amazing people to him as well. They did miracles with their chakra.

"There's infection here," Kabuto said. "I need to get something from my lab. Kiria, keep an eye on him."

"Don't rush on my account," Kakashi said.

Kabuto slammed the door on his way out.

"He's being nicer than I've ever seen him," Kiria said. "You could at least give him a chance."

"A chance to what? He's my enemy. No amounts of childhood trauma stories are going to make me forget that."

"That's Konoha for you," she said. "Everything is black and white. There's no compromise. We're reaching out to you, and all you can do is think about fighting us. How can you consider yourself a peaceful village?"

"He killed some of my friends," Kakashi said.

"You killed my brother," she answered.

_Touché,_ he thought.

"If we don't get past the hate we'll just kill each other. Orochimaru-sama isn't worried about the other hidden villages. We co-exist with most of them, and we aren't at war with anyone but Konoha. Konoha wants us dead. Orochimaru-sama is concerned that if we don't make at least a truce we'll just whittle each other down to nothing."

"Peace is a reasonable proposition," Kakashi said.

"You're not a bad guy," Kiria said. "I'm willing to try to get past our village histories if you are. It's best for everyone."

"We'll see," Kakashi said. "I'm not an unreasonable person, but I'm not getting Stockholm syndrome just because you people are friendly."

"I can see this is as far as we're going to get right now. I just want to say one more thing."

"What's that?" Kakashi asked.

"You remind me of my brother. He was a good man. He always lived according to his own sense of honor. This might surprise you, but he never enjoyed killing. I remember one mission when he came home and just sat there, staring at his hands. All he would say to me was, "It was necessary". The next day he was acting like himself again, but I never forgot that look on his face, that disgust as he looked at his hands."

"We all do what we must," Kakashi said. He didn't like the idea that someone in the Sound reminded her of him. It was probably just bullshit anyway.

When he returned Kabuto gave Kakashi a shot. "That should help the infection."

That night someone else guarded Kakashi, a nameless ninja who didn't want to talk. Kakashi didn't really care that much, but at least Kiria had been someone to talk to. Hospitals made him anxious at the best of times, and a human voice was a small comfort.

He slept heavily, dreaming of Konoha. Orochimaru's words had only reminded him how much he missed his home. He didn't believe anything the old Sannin said. Whatever his plans for Kakashi were, he was sure it didn't mean any good for Konoha, which meant those plans were unacceptable to him.

Kabuto worked on his leg exclusively the next day, leaving the other wounds for the time being. "The day I thought about my father's hands defeating death was the day my village was invaded. My sister just happened to be home for spring break. If she'd been in school I would still have one family member."

"I lay trapped under rubble looking at my father's corpse for a day. I was sure I'd die. My legs were both broken, and it hurt to breathe. I had cuts and bruises all over. I just lay there, waiting to die."

"What happened?" Kakashi asked, curious in spite of himself.

"I heard scratching noises. Then a hand reached through the rubble and let in light. I could see dust floating in the light. That hand reached down and grasped mine. I remember thinking, "this man's hands defeat death."

"It was Orochimaru, wasn't it?" Kakashi asked.

"It was. He pulled me out of the rubble and gave me water. He wrapped my wounds and talked to me quietly. You don't know him. He's an amazing man."

"He may be the best man in the world for the Sound, but he's our enemy. Surely you must understand that."

"I do," Kabuto said. "As much as I know you're my enemy. But Orochimaru told me to explain, so I'm doing it. This isn't an easy assignment for me. Right now I want to cut your throat so badly I can almost taste your blood, but I'll do anything for Orochimaru-sama, even ignore my most basic instincts."

Kakashi couldn't help but admit that Kabuto was doing his best, even if it didn't really matter. "When I get back to Konoha I'll tell Tsunade that Orochimaru wants her to contact him for peace talks. That's a reasonable idea to me. This business about me coming back here to Orochimaru is insane."

"You'll understand more later," Kabuto said.

He was glad Kiria was the ninja on guard. She was in a talkative mood. "Tell me about yourself," she said.

He almost responded in a bitchy manner, but something about her made him want to talk. She wasn't his friend; he knew that. She probably had orders to get information out of him, but it would probably go easier for him if he appeared to be cooperating. It couldn't hurt to tell her about his personal history. That had no connection to Konoha's security.

"I was a Jounin when I was young, then ANBU. My interests include long peaceful walks in the graveyard, puppies, and porn."

She chuckled at his joke. "It's good you can keep a sense of humor right now. Orochimaru already told me some about you. He said I should ask you about your father."

"Why?" Kakashi asked.

"Because I'm going to be one of your teammates. It was a shock to the whole Village when he said you were going to join us, and some of the ninjas are still upset, but we've accepted it. We don't all get along, and some of us try to kill each other occasionally, but for the most part we accept that we're family. He hasn't picked our other teammate yet."

"He's assuming a lot," Kakashi said.

"No one can resist him. You'll understand later. You'll probably even like it. We do. He loves all of us."

"I'll resist him," Kakashi said.

"Tell me about your father," she said. "I really want to know."

"He was one of the strongest ninjas of his time. He was a good father. I worshipped him. He killed himself. I don't really want to talk about him."

He stopped talking, and they sat for a few minutes.

"Why?" she asked.

"Does it matter? He did what he felt had to be done. He shouldn't have; it was a pointless death. I miss him, and I wish he was still here, but that's ancient history."

"I hope you tell me when you trust me more," she said. "Teammates should know each other."

"How well did you know your old team?" Kakashi asked. He suspected that the Sound nins didn't get past aggression. Teammates were probably at each other's throats most of the time.

"We knew each other very well. Sil was on my team. He was my best friend. When we weren't playing pranks around the village we were arguing about something, but it didn't matter later."

"It's hard to imagine you playing pranks," Kakashi said.

"You don't know me yet," she answered. "We all do something to deal with the stress. Some of us drink, some slut around. Vices keep the demons at bay. Orochimaru-sama doesn't abide gambling though. He calls it "Tsunade's weakness."

Kakashi couldn't help but agree with her silently. Her gambling and sake caused her to lose efficiency, and he'd been irritated occasionally when she was unavailable because she was drunk.

"We all have our vices," Kakashi said, thinking about the Icha-Icha series. "I don't suppose my book survived intact?" he asked.

She smirked. "You mean the porn? Orochimaru-sama confiscated it. He said he'd return it when he sated his curiosity about what his old teammate would write."

"Orochimaru's reading my porn?" he asked. "That's creepy."

"I find it amusing that he's interested. He is human you know."

_That's debatable, _Kakashi thought.

"So who was your other teammate?" he asked. _I hope I didn't kill him too, _he thought. It wasn't out of any soft emotion. He needed this woman to be genuine right now. Any connection he could make could be used later to his advantage, if he was lucky.

"Saringi Orochi. He was named after Orochimaru-sama. We weren't as close as I was to my brother, but we fought well together, and we respected each other. He was usually annoyed with our pranks though. He's a very serious man. Sil and I used to do tease him just to get him going."

"Is he dead?" Kakashi asked.

"No, he's alive. He couldn't take this mission. He was honest with Orochimaru-sama and asked to be put on another team. He doesn't blame me for accepting, but he can't handle being teammates with you after you killed Sil."

"So I'm your mission?"

"Of course. I'm curious about you, and I feel that I can prove myself to Orochimaru-sama by doing this, but if it wasn't a mission I wouldn't have even considered this."

"Your sense of duty is honorable."

She moved to where he could see her. He noticed that she stayed out of his attack range, but the look on her face stayed calm and detached.

"Do you mean any of the things you're saying?" she asked. "I can't help but wonder if you're just trying to bullshit me."

_I'd better play this one carefully,_ he thought. "Yes and no," he said. "If you were a Konoha ninja I'd ask to serve with you. If you were from my village, I'd mean every word. As it is, this is a confusing situation to me."

"It is to me too," she said. "I know you're probably assuming I'm lying to you. I understand that. When you return I'll be waiting, and I hope you'll trust me more then."

"I'm not coming back as a Sound nin," he said. "I wish you'd quit insisting on that."

"If it helps you to believe that, go ahead. I'll fight with another team and my new teammate until you return."


	2. Chapter 2

Kabuto met with Orochimaru in his private office. The Hokage's house was a simple stone house, not that much different from other buildings in the area. That was by design. An invading force wouldn't automatically target his home. All the municipal buildings appeared humble.

The interior was a different story. A formal waiting room met Kabuto. He loved this house. Orochimaru didn't generally let his true self show, but here he had indulged himself. The foyer was decorated lushly, with tropical plants and velvet curtains. The windows were fake, for security reasons, but he maintained the illusion of normalcy.

Kabuto stepped through the mahogany door into Orochimaru's reception area. His house was part domicile, part office. The reception area was more humble than the foyer, but Kabuto noticed the simple touches designed to give the room a comfortable and refined aspect. Orochimaru's office held no cheap metal file drawers; expensive simulated wood drawers with brass handles sat near the receptionist's desk. The receptionist sat behind a sturdy oak desk. He heard the soft bubbling of the aquarium, and the gurgle of the water cooler.

In a corner one of Orochimaru's Special Units stood at attention, guarding the room. His snake mask hid his identity, but Kabuto didn't really care. All long as the SUs did their duty they could play hide-the-ninja all day long.

"Orochimaru-sama is waiting for you," the receptionist said. "He's in his private quarters."

Orochimaru's bedroom was a place not many ninjas visited. It was a place Kabuto wished he was invited for more personal reasons, but he had come to accept that his master wasn't attracted to him. He hated Kakashi even more for arousing Orochimaru's lust, but he knew he'd better not cross Orochimaru-sama on this. Kakashi didn't strike him as the gay type anyway.

Orochimaru sat at his private desk, filling out a scroll. Kabuto waited patiently for Orochimaru to finish. The room was lavishly decorated, with the best oak furniture and the softest futon. The walls were taken up by his snake cages, filled with snakes from all the elemental countries. Kabuto's favorite was the King Cobra – so beautiful and deadly. The King always reminded him of his master.

"Would you like to hold him, Kabuto-kun?" Orochimaru asked.

"More than anything," Kabuto murmured, but he wasn't thinking of the snake. He was thinking of Orochimaru.

Orochimaru chuckled. "Such snakes even bite those who love them Kabuto-kun."

Kabuto rubbed the curse mark on his neck. "I've been bitten before. I've never regretted it." He felt Orochimaru's fondness for him through the mark. It's wasn't as much as he wanted, but he enjoyed his master's affection.

"I think Kakashi would be more relaxed if he saw this," Orochimaru said, pointing to the scroll. He fanned air over the scroll to dry it, his ink-stained fingers getting Kabuto's attention.

Kabuto read the scroll. It was a formal request for peace talks between equal villages. "It's straightforward enough," Kabuto said. "Is this a ploy? Do you really want peace with them?"

"They're becoming obsessed with us, and Konoha tends to destroy enemies it's obsessed with. If it was just me I wouldn't be concerned. I can outfight almost any team they'd send after me. Even Tsunade couldn't kill me, and she had the Jinchuurike to help her. I'm concerned for the Sound. I spent a great deal of time and effort building this village, and I don't want it destroyed because Konoha has ambitions."

"I don't think Tsunade will accept this."

"She's an emotional woman. I happen to know she has a soft spot for Kakashi. One of my spies is her bartender. She's careful not to give away any secrets, but she has a habit of getting emotional about the ninjas she cares for. Once when Kakashi was in the hospital she told her bartender it was like her son was hurt. Bartenders make good spies.

By the time Kakashi leaves he should at least be accepting of my peace proposal. He's a logical man, and he can't argue with what he sees. Peace is always a logical choice between ninja villages. We can't function when we're killing each other. Mission clashes happen, but wars are wasteful.

When Kakashi pushes for peace talks, I think she'll accept – especially since I'm asking for him as a diplomat. He'll waste away until he accepts my mark, and I think it will hit her hard to watch her Scarecrow succumb to the ravages of the Snake."

"I hope you're right," Kabuto said. "Konoha won't be so peaceful after you take his body."

"By that time I'll have Kakashi here more often. I'll make a show of trusting him with responsibility in the village. When I take his body I'll make it appear as if I've died. I'll become Hokage again, in Kakashi's body. Konoha should be thrilled. They'll know they're safe with Kakashi as Hokage. A couple visits a year should suffice to keep his friends happy. The Sound ninjas will know, of course. It will be a win all around."

"It's a good plan," Kabuto said. "I hope it works, but what if it doesn't? There are a lot of variables in this equation."

"The worst case scenario is that Kakashi can't convince Tsunade, in which case I'll wait until he gives in, reaches the third stage and returns to me. If I can't make peace with Konoha, I'll take their best ninja. Besides the advantages of his young body, Konoha will be demoralized, and we'll have the upper hand. Clients will be impressed, and we'll become stronger while Konoha becomes weaker."

"What if he doesn't give in?" Kabuto asked.

"He will," Orochimaru said. "I won't try to change his mind. His history is well known. He chose not to be bitter about what happened to his father and Naruto, but I can encourage him to think about those episodes. He'll see Konoha the way I see it, because it will fit with the emotions he's held back all these years. No one has ever resisted the curse. I'll point out Konoha's weaknesses, and the mark will encourage him to see them for worse than they are."

"What about the Mitarishi woman?" Kabuto asked. "She resisted you."

"She was a mistake. I was still perfecting the mark, and I could tell it wouldn't move past the first stage. She didn't flee from me. I let her go to show Konoha what I was capable of. If I had known she'd end up as a Jounin I would have killed her."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Orochimaru showed Kakashi the scroll, Kakashi read it with approval. "Why do you want me to be your diplomat?"

"I've had more contact with you than any other Konoha ninja except for Tsunade and Jiraiya. I'd like to speak to Tsunade directly, but neither of us can go to an enemy village. It would be foolish. Jiraiya irritates me to no end. He's an immature man, using his power wastefully to chase whores. We'd be arguing in a day.

Speaking of Jiraiya," Orochimaru said. He pulled Kakashi's book from a pouch. "I thought you might want this back."

"Did you like it?" Kakashi asked.

"He's a good writer, even though I was surprised at the subject. The writing is very…stimulating. When you return, bring me the full set."

"I'll bring you some autographed copies if you want," Kakashi said. He wasn't buying Orochimaru's act, but he was sure he was being honest about wanting the books. Who wouldn't want a full set of Icha-Icha after they'd read the first one? He accepted coming back to the Sound as a diplomat. It was an honorable position.

Kiria sat quietly during the interview. When they were finished she asked Orochimaru, "may I speak to you outside, sir?"

They stepped outside and Orochimaru cast a jutsu on the door, soundproofing it. He didn't know how good Kakashi's hearing was, but he didn't want him eavesdropping.

"Permission to speak freely, Orochimaru-sama?"

"Certainly," he said. "I value my ninjas' opinions."

"I'm concerned for your safety. Was it wise to let him know so much about yourself? He could use those fetishes from the book against you somehow. It wouldn't be the first time a ninja has used that sort of knowledge against enemies. I'm being open with him on your orders, but I'm worried about how he might use this against you."

"The book was rubbish, and the "fetishes" in it disgust me. We all have our little idiosyncrasies, but I assure you, those are not mine."

"Sir, may I ask what you're doing with him? If I'm out of order I apologize."

"Those books are more than books to him. They're a lifestyle. It's a small bond, but it's a beginning. He's alone and probably frightened, even if he isn't showing it. He knows now that he'll be returning to Konoha, and that should allow him to feel more relaxed. I want him to remember his time with me fondly. "

"Brilliant as always sir," she said, and he could see the hero worship on her face. Many of his ninjas didn't bother trying to hide their emotions from him.

"And how are you progressing?" he asked.

"I've been honest with him about my past. He won't talk about his father, but I think he might be honest with what he's telling me."

"Are you really over him killing your brother?"

"No," she said. "Sometimes all I can see is the man who took Sil from me. Logically I know they were both doing their duty to their village, but it is hard to look at him sometimes."

"Can you overcome this enough to do your duty?" Orochimaru asked.

"I already have, sir. It's just difficult. The emotions I feel are irrelevant. He's someone I will learn to serve with, and in time I think I'll be able to discount his connection with Sil. I like him. I respect him. I've never faced an obstacle I couldn't overcome, and I won't let this one defeat me."

Orochimaru smiled and placed his hand on her shoulder, over her curse mark. He projected a feeling of safety and acceptance. He allowed her to feel the pride she inspired.

"I'm promoting you to Jounin," he said. "What you're doing is nothing short of marvelous. And I won't leave you alone through this. I want you to come to me personally when it becomes difficult for you emotionally. You'll be receiving my special attention, as will your new teammate."

"Thank you sir," she said. "I look forward to achieving this for you."

"You deserve a reward," Orochimaru said. "What would you like?"

"You've already rewarded me, sir."

"I insist. We live a hard life here, and I want my ninjas to know they're appreciated." He was curious to hear what she would ask from him. It would tell him much about her priorities.

"Sir, I know you've been considering expanding the clone program and using a woman to create a child from your genetic material."

"The clones aren't quite what I'd hoped they'd be. I want children to pass my jutsus to." He didn't tell her that he planned on taking the strongest child's body when Kakashi's body was too old to be useful.

"Would you accept my eggs as part of the program?" she asked. "I would be so honored to have my child share your DNA."

"When the program is running, I'll be glad to accept you," Orochimaru said. "You'd give me a strong, loyal child." Orochimaru approved of her response. This one belonged to him - mind, body, and soul.

"I will, sir," she said.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Kiria was distracted when she came back to Kakashi. She sat in the chair and thought about the things Orochimaru said to her. She didn't notice Kakashi was speaking to her until the third time he said something.

"What?" she asked.

"What are you grinning about?" Kakashi asked. "You look like you just had an orgasm, got a new weapon for your birthday, and won the lottery all at once."

"Orochimaru-sama said he's proud of me. I know it might not sound like much to you, but it's the world to me."

Kakashi remembered how happy he'd been when his sensei had praised him for his work. He even looked forward to the rare moments Tsunade praised him.

"It's not so strange," he said. "We're all proud when our superiors recognize us."

She was quiet for a while, sitting and staring vacantly off into space with a soft smile on her face.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you had a crush on him," Kakashi said.

"There isn't a woman in the Sound who wouldn't have him," she said. "We'd kill each other just for the chance."

"He's not into women, is he?" Kakashi asked, voicing a suspicion he'd felt.

"I'm not comfortable talking about that," she said.

Kakashi shuddered at the thought of her being with Orochimaru. She wasn't his type, but she could probably get a good looking guy.

"What do you see when you look at him?" Kakashi asked.

She blushed. "I see pure power, ambition, and a man who can achieve anything. I see someone who knows my fears and secrets and accepts me for who I am. I see the Hero of the Sound. When I was younger I was injured in a mission, and he sat in the hospital and held my hand. How many Hokages would do that? I was just a Chunin."

"Tsunade does," Kakashi said. "He's not the only Hokage devoted to his ninjas." Somehow he'd begun defending his village to her.

"Yes, but can she touch your shoulder and let you feel her own emotions? Would she give you a bit of herself when you need it?"

He thought of Tsunade tending him in the hospital, kidding with him and flicking him on the head when he misbehaved. He'd irritated her occasionally just to get her attention.

"She lets us know how she feels", he said.

"I told you we weren't so different," she said.

"Perhaps not," he said.

He had the unspeaking ninja that night. His guardian sat quietly behind him, doing nothing but shifting his weight occasionally.

When Kabuto came back he was in a quiet mood. Kakashi didn't mind. He was willing to talk to Kabuto to get close to him for strategic reasons, but he'd never like the little shit.

"You're almost healed enough to get out of bed," Kabuto said. "It's going to be a long time before you'll be up to speed again. I doubt your leg will ever completely heal."

He left him with the silent ninja. Kakashi was glad to see Kiria again. She had a change to her uniform. She sported a large metallic cobra over her right breast.

"What's that?" he asked.

"I was promoted to Jounin," she said. "I've been a Chunin for 10 years, and I finally made it."

"Congratulations," Kakashi said. "Is that why you look like you're in love?"

"No," she said. "I can't talk about what happened; it's classified. I got some really good news earlier."

"Me too," Kakashi said. "Kabuto's letting me out of bed soon. I'll be glad to get out of these restraints."

"Orochimaru-sama wants to show you around the village. I think you'll like it. The snow is supposed to let up for a few days, so you might be able to see Mt. Harl from here. It's beautiful when it's clear. There's this layer of clouds around the top all the time, almost like a halo."

"You really love it here, don't you?" Kakashi asked.

"I do. I know you're used to a different idea of beauty, but you'll get used to it."

Kabuto waited for Orochimaru to return. "Kashi-kun, are you up to moving around a bit?"

"I'd love it," Kakashi said. "I'm going stir-crazy here."

"I'll remove your restraints and uncover your eye. This is a test. If you try to escape or attack anyone, you'll be killed instantly."

"I'm not a fool," Kakashi said.

He noticed that when Kabuto untied him Kiria stood in front of Orochimaru with her hand near her kunai. He approved. She seemed like the type he could fool, but she was on task as a ninja otherwise. Something about her said she'd be formidable in a fight.

Kabuto helped him to his feet, handing him a cane. His knee buckled immediately, and Kabuto caught him as he fell. Kiria remained impassive as Kabuto lifted him back onto the bed. He checked Kakashi's knee.

"I can't find anything wrong," he said. "Did you experience a lot of pain?"

"No," Kakashi said. "It just doesn't want to work."

"I'll get crutches," Kabuto said. "It's just weak. With some exercise it will be stronger eventually."

Kakashi was embarrassed to show weakness in front of them, but there was nothing to be done about it.

They brought him his own uniform, patched and cleaned as much as possible.

"Do you have my hitai-ate?" he asked.

Orochimaru chuckled and handed him a headband with a Sound symbol. "Yours was lost somewhere. You're welcome to this one."

"I'll do without," Kakashi said. He didn't like leaving his eye unprotected, but he would be damned if he'd ever wear that.

He managed with the crutch, moving slowly behind Orochimaru. The hospital staff looked at him and whispered to each other. Kabuto followed him, and Kiria moved on his blind side. He would say something to her about that, except that he knew she was doing it on purpose.

Kabuto left them as they were leaving the hospital. "I have a few people I specifically want you to meet," Orochimaru said. "We'll go for a stroll and let you take in the sights."

When Orochimaru opened the hospital door, Kakashi was taken aback by what he saw. The mountain in the distance dominated the landscape. He could see the snow-cap, bright with afternoon sun.

The hospital was at the top of a large hill, and the village spread out before him. Stone streets and houses filled the area, and it reminded him of a picture he'd seen once. The only thing missing was shepherdesses and their goats. He could almost imagine yodeling in the distance.

The Sound villagers moved about below him, going about their business. He saw the white uniforms of the ninjas and the darker clothes of the civilians. A man with a mobile vegetable cart moved through the street, hawking his wares. The Sound was an odd mix of technology and primitive function. Kakashi imagined it was probably out of necessity more than philosophy. They were remote and probably had to depend on themselves entirely. It couldn't be an easy existence this far north.

"What do you think?" Orochimaru asked.

"It's surprisingly peaceful," Kakashi said.

"What did you expect?"

"I don't know. Bunkers. Minimalist buildings. Something like that."

"It's further evidence that you've misunderstood us. Let me show you around."

He offered his arm to Kakashi as he made his way awkwardly down the steps. Kakashi wished he could have refused his offer, but he didn't have a choice. He didn't feel like falling down a flight of ornamental steps. Orochimaru handed the crutches to Kiria so Kakashi could use him as a support to get down the difficult stairs slowly.

When they reached the bottom he already felt winded, but he didn't want them to know. He took the crutches and steadied himself to continue.

"The market district is nearby. I'll take you there first," Orochimaru said.

Kakashi tried to hurry his pace, not liking that they had to move slowly for him.

"There's no reason to hurry," Orochimaru said. "We all get injured. No one will think less of you for needing to recuperate."

Kakashi didn't answer, but he did allow himself to slow to a more comfortable pace.

As they moved through the street he saw people stop and stare, whispering to each other.

"The whole village knows you're here," Orochimaru said. "Most of the ninjas are excited about this opportunity, but a large percentage of the civilians are frightened."

"I couldn't hurt them right now if I wanted to," Kakashi said.

"Yes, but they don't know that. Try not to frighten them."

Orochimaru stopped and chatted with a kebab vendor. "Hello Ani-kun, how is your wife? She's feeling better, I hope."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama. She almost lost the baby, but they managed to save both of them." Even though the man was speaking to Orochimaru, his eyes kept flicking to Kakashi.

"This is Hatake Kakashi. He's going to be our guest for some time," Orochimaru said. "I want the village to make him feel at home."

"Hai, Orochimaru-sama."

"Give your wife my best," Orochimaru said.

They walked through the market, and Kakashi saw how clean and organized it was. "Ani's wife is one of our top medics. She has promising genetics, and she's having a baby soon. I try to keep up with my villagers as much as possible."

As they reached the end of the market street Orochimaru looked over and noticed Kakashi was walking with his head down. He was sweating and his breathing was labored.

"I think it's time to return," Orochimaru said. "You can drop the tough ninja act, Kashi-kun. It's not fooling anyone. You can't be strong all the time."

Kakashi didn't answer. He just turned and moved toward the hospital, shaking and weak. This time he didn't mind taking Orochimaru's arm when it was offered. The walk seemed to take an eternity. He'd overestimated his own strength, again.

When they reached the stairs in front of the hospital, Kakashi stopped. Orochimaru lifted his arm around his shoulder. "Take the other one," he told Kiria.

She took his other arm, dropping the crutches at the bottom of the stairs. They more dragged than assisted him up the stairs.

He was barely conscious, and he was never so glad to smell the antiseptic smell of a hospital, or the feel of a wheelchair under him. A couple nurses lifted him onto the bed, and he passed out.

When he woke Kiria punched him lightly on his good arm. "Baka," she said. "I can see I'm going to have problems with you."

"You wouldn't be the first woman to have problems with me," he said.

She left to get Kabuto. They had left him unbound, but he didn't know if it was a show of trust or the knowledge that he was too weak to attack them if he was foolish enough to want to.

Kabuto wasn't happy with him. "Overdid it this time, didn't you?" he asked. "As much as I dislike you, you are my responsibility. I'd appreciate it if you didn't waste my hard work like this."

"I'll go easy next time."

"I'll have a physical therapist work with you. Until then try to get up and move around a bit, but not enough that you do this to yourself again." He looked at Kiria. "Don't let him do this again."

"I'll look after him," she said.

He fell asleep, and when he woke this time it was just him and Kiria. She was reading his book, and a blush had crept across her face. She held her hand to her mouth, and a look of surprise told him she must be at one of the really steamy parts.

"You like that?" he asked.

"It's interesting," she said. "His writing is very descriptive."

"I'll bring you an autographed set when I come back."

"Then you've accepted that you'll be back?" she asked.

"I'll gladly be a diplomat," he said.

When he'd rested she helped him out of the bed and around the room. He didn't tire as fast now that he didn't have to fight the uneven terrain. The village was in a mountainous region, and it had seemed to be all uphill earlier.

She stayed in the room while the physical therapist worked on his leg. He grimaced occasionally. The pain returned whenever the therapist moved his knee.

"How did the therapy go?" Kabuto asked him later.

"Fine," Kakashi said. _All physical therapists are torturers at heart,_ he thought. "There's still pain in the knee. She said it probably won't ever go away completely, and the knee might give me trouble for the rest of my life." Normally he wouldn't have given out so much information to an enemy ninja, but Orochimaru would hear it from the therapist anyway.

Kabuto had a serious talk with Orochimaru later. "Why did you want to take him out so soon?" he asked. "You had to know he couldn't make it far."

"I wanted the village to see him while he was weak. I had to carry him back to the hospital. I doubt the civilians will be frightened of him once word gets around. They watched the most powerful ninja of Konoha being carried by their Hokage. It's a great morale booster."

"I'm a good doctor, but I can't help him if you wear him out," Kabuto said. "I need you to respect my knowledge."

"I don't intend on taking him out again until he's ready," Orochimaru said. "How long until I can mark him?"

"He's healing fast," Kabuto said. "He just needs to get his strength back. I think he might be able to take the mark in a week or so. He might not live, but that's more about how strong his will is than how strong his body is. Some people can handle it, and some can't."

A few days later Kakashi could walk around the village market under his own power, using the crutches. He couldn't stay out long, but he enjoyed the outings. Orochimaru never took him out of the market; it was the closest part of the village to the hospital. They talked while they walked, or rather Orochimaru talked and Kakashi listened.

"Do you have any idea what it's like to see your student die?" Orochimaru asked.

"Thankfully I've been spared that."

"My only Genin team died, on their first outing. I was so proud of them. They loved being ninjas; they loved Konoha. I loved Konoha."

"What happened?" Kakashi asked.

"There was an explosion. It wasn't even supposed to be a dangerous mission. They were looking for a damn cat. It was a leftover mine no one had remembered to disarm. No one even knew which war it was from.

I decided no Konoha ninja should die. It could be done. Your sensei made a deal with the Shinigami. He bargained to use his life once to call the Shinigami. I decided to study the jutsu that allowed him to do that. I wanted to bypass the Shinigami and access the spirit world by myself."

"Did it work?" Kakashi asked.

"Partly. The Hokage caught me before I could perfect the jutsu."

"You sacrificed a lot of lives to learn what you did," Kakashi said.

"And I don't regret it," Orochimaru said. "I'm a harsh man Kakashi. I'm not pretending to be soft like your Tsunade. If you're going to work with me you have to understand that. I do what's necessary, even when I hate it the most."

"Why are you telling me this?" Kakashi asked.

"Because you need to know me," Orochimaru said. "When you see your village again, I want you to ask yourself if what I did if any worse than sacrificing the entire Uchiha clan."

"How do you know about that?"

"Itachi and I were very close before he left," Orochimaru said. "He never knew I used a jutsu on him to see his dreams."

"You can do that?" Kakashi asked.

"When I'm close to someone, and Itachi and I were _very_ close for a time. I saw what the council did. They had concrete proof of the Uchiha coup. But I ask you this. How many innocent people did Itachi kill under orders? How many Uchiha children? He killed almost a dozen children under five. Did you know that?"

"We do what we must," Kakashi said, even though he didn't like remembering the Uchiha massacre.

"How is that any different than when I sacrificed criminals and vagrants to help Konoha? If the Hokage hadn't chased me off I'd still be there, serving my village."

Kakashi didn't know what to say. Orochimaru's words brought back memories he didn't want. If Obito had lived Itachi would have killed him too – Obito who only lived to serve the Leaf, who loved his village, who ended up dying to save him. Obito would have never been a part of a coup. He would have reported it if he knew of one.

Kakashi shook it off. He'd dealt with the Uchiha massacre, accepted Itachi's part in the plan, and even understood why he had to do it. It was done, over with. Orochimaru couldn't do what he was trying to do. The old Sannin had made him see that the Sound was more than monsters, that he was more than Kakashi had assumed he was. That was all he was going to accomplish.

He grew stronger, moving to a cane in a few days. He still tired easily, and his leg hurt if he walked too much. Orochimaru allowed him to walk around the village accompanied by Kiria, and he met some of the ninjas. He'd fought with a few of them, but they didn't speak of it. One of them shook his hand solemnly. "Welcome to the Sound, Kakashi".

He couldn't remember the man's name, but he did remember giving him the blow that left the scar on his head that gave him a white streak through his dark hair. For whatever reason, the Sound was reaching out to him. It probably was only partly what it seemed to be, but he could at least meet them half-way until he knew better.

Kabuto let him out of the hospital, and Kiria let him stay at her place. He was beginning to like Kiria a great deal. _If only she had been born in Konoha,_ Kakashi thought.

Her house was simple, with wooden furniture and a cranky cat that gave him stink eye and slinked away into the kitchen. The walls were bare, but what really caught his attention was the five small tables scattered around the room, covered in snow globes. A bookshelf stood in a corner, filled with them. Every available space seemed to be filled with them.

"Like snow globes much?" he asked, lifting a globe with a Newfoundland and its master inside.

"Not really. Those were Sil's. I can't bring myself to get rid of them. He loved them so much. He always carried a tiny snow globe with him. He said it reminded him of the Sound."

She picked one up and shook it. Kakashi heard her sniffle. "I used to think those things were so silly. Now I'd give anything to see him bring another one home. We used to argue about where we were going to put another one."

She put her hand to her mouth as she began to cry. "I'm sorry," she said. "It's just hard for me, seeing you hold those."

He put the snow globe down. "We both know I can't really say I'm sorry for what I did. But I can honestly tell you I'm sorry for what I did to you. I wish I could have known Sil. He sounds like he was a good man."

She looked up at him, her eyes rimmed with red. "I'll get his room ready for you tomorrow. You can take the couch tonight. I'm going to bed now."

"Kiria, I…"

"No. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I know what we'll be to each other eventually, but right now I can only see the man who killed my brother."

Kakashi felt like a heel when she left the room. He didn't sleep much that night.

He'd had breakfast and showered before she came out of her room. "I'm sorry about last night," she said. "I'll get over it."

"I don't expect you to," Kakashi said. "If you need to tell Orochimaru you want another mission I'll understand. I don't want to give you any more pain."

She smiled. "Always the hero, aren't you? It's not that cut and dry, and you know it. I've started something I can't just quit. It's like I'm getting some good out of his death, using it to help the village. I don't hate you, Kakashi. This will just take some time."

"You're a stronger person than I am," Kakashi said. "I wouldn't even try this."

"It's not so bad, usually," she said. "I like you. You're going to be taking his place on my team, taking his room. It's almost as if Orochimaru-sama means for you to take his place completely. I'm having difficulty accepting that, but I will."

"Let me know what I can do to help," Kakashi said. He believed what she was saying. It could be an act, but every instinct he had said she was being truthful.

"Don't stay in Konoha too long," she said. "This is a new part of my life that I can't start until you come back."

Kakashi thought it was contradictory to her feelings about him last night, but he was used to women contradicting themselves. Changing her mind was a woman's right. If there was one thing he'd learned about women, it was that he never knew what they were going to do.

"I'll speak to Tsunade-sama as soon as I return," he said. "I don't know how she'll respond, but if she allows me to return I won't waste time. I'm always going to be a Konoha ninja, but I'll gladly be your friend."

"That's good enough for now," she said.

She cleaned out Sil's room, packing his things into boxes and putting them into her storage shed behind the building. He didn't offer to help, because he thought this was family business. She'd let him know if she needed him.

She'd recovered her composure. "It's all ready," she said. "I'll save the room when you go back. It will be waiting for you when you return."

"You don't have to try so hard," he said.

"Yes I do," she said. "I don't do anything without applying myself completely, and this is important."

A messenger arrived at the door with a summon from Orochimaru. Kakashi was to go to the hospital and meet him there with Kiria. He limped his way to the hospital, hoping he could get rid of the cane soon.

The nurse at the reception desk directed them to room 118. Orochimaru and Kabuto were waiting for him there.

"Hop up on the bed," Kabuto said. "Shirt and undershirt off."

He did as he was told. "The shoulder wound isn't giving me trouble," he said.

"This isn't about the wound," Orochimaru said.

Kabuto hooked him up to the various machines he'd been attached to when he arrived at the hospital. Kabuto dabbed his other shoulder with alcohol. "He's ready," he told Orochimaru. He stepped back behind his master, and Kakashi saw a smirk on his face.

"I do whatever is best for my village," Orochimaru said. "You know that by now."

"I assumed as much."

"Then understand this isn't personal," Orochimaru said. Faster than a snake's strike his neck stretched and his teeth sank into Kakashi's neck.

Kakashi gasped as he felt the unexpected strike. After his breath left he couldn't regain it. He fell back onto the bed, trying desperately to breathe. He could feel his arm convulse, flopping on the bed. Every movement brought new agony, but he couldn't stop his convulsions.

Kabuto breathed into him rhythmically until he could breathe on his own. He covered Kakashi's face with an oxygen mask.

Kakashi's left leg began to twitch, and he felt his arm draw up on itself, laying across his chest and twitching occasionally. His eyes closed. He just felt so tired.

"Stay with me," Kabuto said. Kakashi woke against his will. He could see the shock on Kiria's face. The smirk had left Kabuto's. Now he was just a medic working hard on his patient.

"Say something to him," Kabuto said to Orochimaru. "He has the mark. You can help him."

"Not while he's having his crisis," Orochimaru said. "He has my venom in him right now. I can't use the mark yet. If he lives he'll be done with this part in a few days. I can help him then."

"Say something," Kabuto said. "If he's going to be one of us you should be able to do something."

And that was when Kakashi knew Orochimaru was their god. Orochimaru moved to the other side of the bed.

"Kashi-kun, can you hear me?" he asked.

Kakashi couldn't respond other than to lift his unaffected arm.

"You'll get through this," Orochimaru said. "One of the reasons I chose you is because I think you're strong enough. This will help your village as much as mine. It's just a few days. Then you can return to your village as soon as you're strong enough."

Kabuto put everything he had into serving Orochimaru, and this was no different. Kakashi felt him keep him from slipping away, pulling him back to consciousness several times. His whole body began to convulse, and he felt fluid slipping from his mouth. He could only hope it was spit and not blood.

"Kiria, help me turn him onto his side," Kabuto said. "He could bite his tongue off like this."

They turned him so that the marked shoulder was facing upward. He could hear them talking, even if he couldn't answer them.

"Is he dying?" Kiria asked.

"It looks worse than it is," Orochimaru said. "Convulsions always follow the mark. He'll sleep later. After that we'll have more to deal with, but right now his life isn't in much danger. Tonight will be the time we might lose him."

He quit convulsing, and they settled him onto his back. He began to gain some semblance of control over the other half his of his body from his marked side, and he pulled at the oxygen mask weakly.

"I think he wants to talk," Kabuto said. He pulled the mask away.

"You bastard," Kakashi said to Orochimaru, barely able to form the words.

"That's it, Kashi-kun. Fight. It will keep you alive."

Orochimaru turned to Kiria. "When I mark someone they need a loved one to help them through this. You're the closest one to him in the Sound. I want you to stay with him. Do what you have to, but keep him alive."

"Hai, Orochimaru-sama."

xXXXXXXXXXXXX

Orochimaru waited until Kakashi fell asleep to speak to Kabuto concerning his treatment. "I shouldn't really be around him for now," he said. "It will just bother him, and he doesn't need the stress."

"I'll do my best for you," Kabuto said.

"I know. You always do."

He turned to Kiria. "I'm counting on you, Kiria. Don't let me down. Be his lifeline."

"I will, sir."

There was silence after Orochimaru left. Kabuto and Kiria heard the soft sound of medical equipment.

"What should I do for him?" she asked.

"What Orochimaru-sama told you to. Be close to him. Give him support."

"It's frightening, isn't it?" she asked.

"Hai," he said. "I hope I never see it again. I can't help him much. We're enemies. He needs someone who can reach him emotionally. Do what you would do for a family member. Treat him like your teammate. Only you can do this."

Kabuto's pager sounded. "I do have other patients," he said. "He's stable. Stay here and do what needs to be done. If any of the machines start to sound an alarm, or if he starts convulsing again, I'll be here immediately. I don't care if I'm in the middle of surgery."

"You're putting a lot of effort into someone you hate," she said.

"Your career and possibly my life rides on this. And besides, Orochimaru would be disappointed in me. I couldn't stand that."

"Me either," she said.

She sat by the bed and took Kakashi's hand. "You need to live," she said. "This isn't just about what Orochimaru wants. I need you to live so Sil's death means something."

His eyelids moved just a bit as he went into REM sleep. She touched his face. It was clammy and sweat-covered.

"A lot of people like you around here," she said. "There are two villages that need you. You can't let Konoha down. Even if you don't care about us, remember them. If you can make peace with us you'll save Konoha lives as well."

She talked for an hour, rambling on about her childhood and family. Eventually he opened his eyes and pulled away the mask, feeling a bit stronger even though one side of his body was still useless.

"I'm glad you're back," she said. "I knew he was going to mark you, but I had no idea it was going to be like that."

"I heard some of what you said," Kakashi said.

"I meant all of it," she said. "I don't want you to die. It's not just duty anymore. This is personal. If you die then Sil died for nothing."

"I'll do my best to stick around," he said.

"Orochimaru said that I could help you through this," she said. "You don't have anyone else here."

"Uchiha Sasuke made it through because of his teammate," Kakashi said. "I'm glad you're here. It makes me feel less alone."

"He said it will be over in a couple of days. Then you can go back to your village. Try to remember that when it gets bad."

He got an odd look to his face.

"Kakashi, are you ok?" she asked.

She heard a choking sound. He put his hand over his throat, and she heard the machines sound their alarms. He was still breathing, but it came in short gasps.

"I'll get help," she said. She found Kabuto quickly, and he was able to reach Kakashi while he could still breathe, even if it wasn't enough to sustain him.

A nurse followed him into the room. "He's having respiratory distress," Kabuto said. He put his hands over Kakashi's chest, pushing chakra into his lungs. Kakashi's lips were turning blue. His eyes closed.

"If you die I'll get my ass kicked," Kabuto said. "You'd better not fucking die on me."

A full breath entered Kakashi's lungs, then another, and Kabuto only relaxed when Kakashi could breathe on his own. The color came back to his lips slowly, and Kabuto felt when Kakashi's lungs returned to normal.

He replaced the oxygen mask. "That was close," he said. "Nurse, report that I'm unavailable until further notice. I know that I'm needed, but I can't leave him alone anymore. Orochimaru has a personal interest in his case. I don't dare leave him alone after this."

"Kabuto-san, we're understaffed," she said.

"I'll deal with that in a few days. Until then I'm here for the duration."

He sank into a chair, burying his head in his hands. "Do you have any idea how much shit we're all in if he dies?"

"No, Kabuto-san. I'll report you unavailable. Call if you need help, please."

"Sure, sure," he said.

Kiria was glad when the nurse left. This experience belonged to her, Kabuto, and Orochimaru. Anyone else felt like an intruder.

"Kabuto, pull yourself together," she said. "What's wrong with you?"

"I can't let Orochimaru down. I just can't. It's not just the trouble I'll be in. I've never failed him. If I fail him now I don't know if I can live."

"We won't fail him," she said. "He has the best doctor, and he knows I care. We won't let him die. Our will is strong enough."

Kabuto rang for a nurse. "I need a cot and some food brought in. We're not moving him to ICU because his case requires privacy. He's a mark patient. I'm staying in this room for the time being."

"But he's an adult," the nurse said. "I don't know of an adult that's ever been marked."

"He's the first. It's incredibly important that he survives. The noise of the ICU would aggravate his condition later."

"I know," the nurse said. "Every noise will be a torture in a day or so. You'll have to put a blanket over the machines to muffle the sound. It doesn't last long, but while it does he'll be in a great deal of pain."

Kiria sat first watch while Kabuto rested on a cot in the corner. She didn't take her eyes off Kakashi, afraid to miss any sign of trouble. Every two hours she removed the dressing on his wound and checked it. It was swollen and purple around the bite marks, but that was to be expected. She washed the wound carefully, remembering Kabuto's instructions.

The second time she checked the wound the bruised area had spread, and the bite marks leaked a thick yellow secretion.

"Kabuto, I think you should have a look at this."

He was awake and at Kakashi's side almost instantly. He put his hands around the area, not touching the actual bite marks. He used his chakra to pull the infection out of Kakashi, and blood and pus flowed out.

"It's just infection," he said.

He sat by Kakashi, leaning back in the chair and staring at the ceiling. "My nerves are shot," he said.

"Mine too," Kiria answered. "I've sat in hospitals with comrades, but I've never been responsible for keeping them alive like this. You can go back to sleep now if you want."

"No, I got four hours earlier. I don't think I could sleep right now."

They sat with him for hours, waiting for the dawn. Kakashi tossed and mumbled. "It's ok. I'm here," Kiria said. "You're not alone."

"Let me look at him," Kabuto said. He wet a cloth and lay it over Kakashi's head. "He has a fever. This is when Orochimaru-sama thought we might lose him. I wish he'd put someone on this case who dealt with a mark case before. I've studied those cases, of course, but I only have hypothetical knowledge."

"Orochimaru-sama trusts you," she said.

He placed a cold cloth over the mark, and Kakashi woke. "No," Kakashi said, reaching for the cloth.

"I know it's sensitive, but you have a fever. Leave it on there." He gave Kakashi water and acetaminophen.

They watched as his fever rose. Kiria touched his face, and he leaned into the coolness of her hand.

"Dad, don't be dead," he mumbled. "I'm sorry."

He tossed and said some unintelligible ramblings. "It's my fault. All my fault," he said. "You wouldn't have done it if it weren't for me."

"Kakashi, you're delirious," Kiria said. "Try to focus on my voice. Come back to the present." She wiped sweat from his face.

His fever didn't lower for hours. When it broke he finally quit tossing in the bed and opened his eye.

"Kakashi?" Kabuto asked. He moved his finger in front of his face. "Try to track my finger."

Kakashi moved his eye slowly, following Kabuto's finger sluggishly, trailing behind its path. He lay quietly, semi-conscious but unspeaking.

Kiria nodded in her chair. She blinked her eyes widely and rubbed them.

"Why don't you take the cot for awhile?" Kabuto asked. "We have days of this ahead of us. You need to conserve your energy."

"You don't have any emotional investment in him," she said. "I do. You're only concerned with your duty."

He started to protest, but she interrupted him. "I'm not saying that's bad. It's just that he knows I care about him, and you two have an antagonistic relationship. I'll stay here."

"For at least three days?" he asked.

"Yes, I've been awake for a week on a mission. This is nothing. Besides, I can sleep here."

"Suit yourself. You're a stubborn one."

"I've been told that before. Stubborn and strong-willed are just a matter of perspective."

She lay on the bed beside Kakashi, putting her arm around him and laying her head on his chest. "He'll know I'm here," she said. "I probably won't sleep long. I usually don't."

She slept longer than she meant to, at least three hours. She woke to Kakashi stroking her hair. "You've been here the whole time, haven't you?"

She sat up, noting Kabuto sitting near them. Kakashi's face had regained a bit of color. "Yes, and I'm going to stay with you," she said. "It's what teammates do."

"I wish you were a Konoha ninja so badly," he said.

"Probably just as much as I wish you'd been born in the Sound."

"You've given me a lot to think about," Kakashi said.

"Think later," Kabuto said. "Rest now. That's an order."

Kakashi scowled. "I didn't know you were here. I hate when people sit on my blind side." As soon as he said it he wished he hadn't. He didn't want to let them know a weakness, but he wasn't strong, and he'd let it slip.

Kabuto stood so Kakashi could see him. "I'm not leaving either."

"Don't eavesdrop on private conversations then," he said.

"Kakashi, don't be mean," Kiria said. "He's as devoted to your recovery as I am."

"I doubt that. We have a history, don't we Kabuto?" His earlier resolution to allow them to reach out to him had vanished. He felt angry at everything. If he could have he would have attacked them and worked his way through the village.

"We agreed to get past that," Kabuto said. "You're feeling randomly aggressive, aren't you? That's the next stage. I don't want to tie you down again. This will pass."

Kakashi glared at him. His killing intent filled the room. "Kiria, move away from him before he attacks," Kabuto said. "I know he's weak, but there's the possibility he could hurt you."

She squeezed Kakashi's hand tightly. "No. I'm committed here. I won't let him go. If I get hurt then I get hurt. I've dealt with that before."

"Don't pity me," Kakashi hissed. He tried to escape her grasp, but she held his hand tighter.

"I'm not going anywhere. You might not know it right now, but you need me. I won't hold this against you later. It's the mark talking, not you."

They knew when his temper calmed. "I'm sorry," he said. "I don't know what came over me."

"The books said this would happen," Kabuto said. "Don't worry about it. I couldn't really dislike you any more than I do already."

"Kabuto!" Kiria said.

"He knows," Kabuto said. "He'd also know if I was lying to him. I'm here for Orochimaru."

"That's fine," Kakashi said. "I wouldn't want you to have friendly feelings for me anyway."

"Still snippy," Kiria said. "You're a feisty one; I'll give you that."

"You're over the worst," Kabuto said. "It's been a couple days now. Today you have to deal with a sensitivity to noise that usually lasts only an hour or so. Your brain is accepting the mark's influence, and for some reason it always affects the auditory system."

"I don't suppose you could leave me with Kiria," Kakashi said.

"I can do that," Kabuto said. "I was going to stay here, but I think my presence is doing you more harm than good now."

Kabuto huffed and left.

"Sorry I was cranky with you earlier Kiria" Kakashi said. "I'm always a bitch when I'm injured. I appreciate what you did for me. You know, you would be welcome in Konoha. I don't suppose you'd consider defecting."

"You're as stubborn as I am," she said. "Of course I'm not defecting. I've read about the Fire Country. I hate the heat, and volcanoes aren't my idea of a good place to live near. I think you people are insane living near active volcanoes."

"You can't blame me for trying," she said.

"No. I'm flattered. When you're feeling better you might thank Kabuto. He stayed here for the last two days looking after you. Regardless of his motives you'd probably be dead if it wasn't for him."

The next day was easier for everyone. Kakashi kept a mid-grade fever, but his crisis was over. He went through an hour of intense sensitivity to sound, and the three of them stayed quiet, even hushing the clock. After he was better Kiria left to get some real sleep at her house.

Kabuto checked him occasionally. "You can leave now if you want," he said. "I give you a week and you can probably go back to Konoha. Good riddance to bad rubbish. I probably won't have to deal with you again, as long as you don't do something foolish."

"Then I should probably thank you now," Kakashi said.

"I'm suspicious when you start acting nice," Kabuto said.

"Kiria fussed at me earlier about how I treated you. I know there's no love lost between us, but I should thank you for what you did."

"I didn't do it for you," Kabuto said.

"But you did do it. Your devotion to duty is commendable. I'm sure Orochimaru is proud of you."

That did the trick. The scowl on Kabuto's face gave way to a smile Kakashi knew was because of his master. "He is proud," Kabuto said. "That's all that matters."

Orochimaru came to Kiria's house later that day. "Where is Kiria?" he asked.

"She stepped out for some provisions."

Orochimaru smiled, and Kakashi thought that smile would always be creepy. "I wanted to talk to you alone," he said. "Kiria is a good woman, and she's been through a rough loss lately. Are you two bonding?"

"Yes," Kakashi said. "She said I remind her of her brother. I hate to see her hurt like this."

"You have a big heart, especially for a ninja who's seen so much. You have the best qualities of Konoha about you, Kakashi. It's a pity those qualities aren't widespread."

"I'm not going to defend my village to you."

"That's not why I came here. I wanted to show you a bit of what you're coming back to. Remember what I can do for you and come back soon."

He placed his hand over Kakashi's curse mark, and Kakashi gasped and closed his eyes at the sensation that spread through him. Pure pleasure reached every part of his body, leaving him tingling and wanting nothing but to feel more. For a few seconds he gave himself over to the feeling, overwhelmed by its intensity. It was better than any sex he'd ever had. Then he remembered who was giving it to him. He struggled to open his eyes, but he was trapped in the genjutsu.

Kakashi felt Orochimaru's other hand pull his mask down and begin to stroke his face. Orochimaru began to pull at Kakashi's pants, and Kakashi tried to fight, but the jutsu was too strong. Orochimaru began to reach into his pants, and that brought Kakashi the will to act. He raised his hands to make signals, feeling as if he was moving through molasses.

"Release!" he said, freeing himself from the jutsu. "St..stop," he stammered.

Orochimaru let go. He patted Kakashi's crotch affectionately and kissed him on the cheek, feeling the fabric of his mask under his lips.

"Very well, Kashi-kun. But you won't get any more until you ask nicely."

He left Kakashi feeling weak in the knees and frightened. He'd have to be on his guard around Orochimaru for a whole new reason.

Thankfully Orochimaru didn't bring the episode up or make any other moves on him. Their relationship remained professional, something Kakashi was grateful for. Even if he had been into men Orochimaru was repulsive to him. It would be like having sex with a giant snake. He tried not to think about it.

Orochimaru, Kiria, and a SU unit escorted him outside the village a few days later. He was able to walk without a cane, but his limp was still bad, and extremely noticeable. The SU unit crouched, beckoning for him to climb on his back.

"He'll carry you to the edge of Fire Country's border," Orochimaru said. "You'll have to make your own way from there. I don't think you could make it all the way to Konoha under your own power, but a patrol will probably find you soon."

He wished Kiria goodbye and took a respectful leave of Orochimaru. Now that the old perv wasn't trying to rape him he felt like he should be a good diplomat.

The SU unit carried him for a week, resting when they needed rest – never talking unless it was necessary. Kakashi was fine with that. He'd gotten to know two Sound ninjas personally and one Hokage much more personally than he ever would have wanted. That was more than enough for now. The SU were obviously patterned after ANBU. Orochimaru still had his Konoha roots, even if he wanted to deny them.

It was strange, but the farther he got from the Sound, the more he began to feel the effects of the curse mark. He began to feel nostalgic for the mountain village, a feeling he knew was false. He might have learned some things there, but when he returned it was to help make peace and to see Kiria, nothing else.

He felt a need to see Orochimaru that he knew was the mark messing with him.

When they reached the edge of the Fire Country the SU unit set him on the ground. "It's all you from here," he said. "Try not to get yourself killed. Orochimaru-sama is counting on you." It was more than he'd said since they'd met.

He moved through the woods, avoiding the roads. He didn't want to meet people while his leg still didn't work well. He wouldn't know how well he could fight until he had a sparring partner. Even though they were in Fire Country he knew there were people who might take advantage of an injured ninja.

He felt a strong chakra signature and hid. He saw a patrol pass by, and he almost alerted them to his presence. He stayed hidden, struck by a sudden suspicion. What if he wasn't returning to the same status he'd left with? He was overdue by at least a month and a half. He knew so much high-security information he might have been declared a missing nin. If he came into the village himself they'd probably accept his story, but if patrols arrested him they might never believe him.

_I think I'm becoming paranoid. That doesn't make any sense._ He struggled with his thoughts. _Is this the curse mark? _He wondered. Orochimaru had said he'd see his village in a new way. He knew the harsh realities of ninja life. They'd just never seemed so sinister until now.

He'd keep it from being an issue by going to Konoha secretly. Regardless of what new things Orochimaru might show him about Konoha he loved his village and his precious people. No amount of fucking with his perspective was going to change that.

At the rate he was going he'd take a week to make what should usually be a two day trip for him. He could only travel for five hours before his leg started aching. The therapist had told him he might have a problem like this. He still avoided the patrols. He was going to do this on his own.

He thought about his friends. It kept him going. Warm thoughts of home helped him distance himself from the pain for several days. It was an old trick he knew. He could reach Konoha; it would just be hell to pay at the hospital once he did. Nothing made Tsunade angrier than when her ninjas abused their own bodies, and Kakashi knew he was one of the worst. Tsunade had put her fist through a wall several times out of anger at the state he brought himself into the hospital.

_She'll pitch a fit this time,_ he thought. He at least hoped she'd wait until after the headache that was building went away.

It became more difficult to travel, and his shoulder started to ache as he had to use his arms to push away branches. When he rested he slept fitfully, trying to keep off his bad leg and shoulder, and usually ending up hurting himself in his sleep.

"Two more days, two more days," he muttered as he walked, using a tree branch for support. He wished he'd brought the cane with him. His leg burned under him, but he couldn't stop. He began to move mindlessly forward, using his willpower to keep going.


	3. Chapter 3

Cat was doing a regular patrol outside Konoha when he saw a ninja stumbling through the woods. His face was down, and Cat didn't recognize him. The ninja had a Jounin vest, but Cat didn't know any Jounins that tall with brown hair. If he was shorter he might have been one of several, but only Kakashi had been that tall of a Jounin. The thought of Kakashi stung inside. The ANBU all mourned him.

He followed the ninja through the trees, suspicious. He heard the man mumbling to himself. "Almost there. Almost there." He was obviously in pain, moving slowly and leaning on a branch. When he had to clear brush in front of him he put the branch against his side and used that hand, suggesting his other arm must be injured.

Cat moved lower, so he could see the man more clearly. He hid in the trees ahead of him, and he could see that the man's hair wasn't brown, just filthy. He couldn't tell what color it had been originally, but he thought it was normally lighter.

He was obviously heading toward Konoha. With his head down and his features hidden by lank hair, Cat didn't know who he was, but he needed to find out. He didn't like mysteries, especially when it involved random, armed people this close to Konoha.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXx

Kakashi felt the point of a weapon in his back. "Turn around slowly," he heard from behind him. "Drop the branch."

_Well this is it,_ he thought. _I'm being arrested. I was so close, too._

When he turned he saw Cat, kunai drawn and in a ready stance. "Kakashi?" Cat asked. "Is that really you?"

"Do you know any other 6 foot 5 Jounins?" Kakashi asked.

Cat lunged for him, and Kakashi took an instinctive step back, losing his balance as he put his weight fully on his injured leg. Cat caught him, and instead of the attack Kakashi was expecting, he was pulled into a tight hug.

"We all thought you were dead!" Cat said.

"Not quite - almost."

Cat helped him sit against a tree. "How bad is that leg?" he asked.

"I'm having trouble walking. I could use a lift home."

He climbed onto Cat's back, glad that he wasn't being arrested. "Could you stop at the tree line and let me walk in? I'd like to keep some dignity."

"I can help you walk in, but I don't think you can make it on your own."

Cat ran toward Konoha with Kakashi on his back. Kakashi put his head on the ANBU's shoulder and slept fitfully. The pain in his shoulder and leg keeping him from truly resting.

Cat woke him at the line where the trees had been cleared for security reasons 200 feet from the village. "Are you sure you want to do this? I can carry you in."

"I want to do this," Kakashi said. "I've had a rough time. I want a little pride left to me."

Cat allowed him to lean on him, supporting his weight so that Kakashi didn't have to use his bad leg. By the time they reached the gate the guards were staring. Cat sat Kakashi in one of the guards' chairs. "Keep an eye on him until I get back with Tsunade," he told the guards.

Kakashi watched Cat bound away. He pulled his mission card from his vest and tossed it on the table. "I'm a bit overdue, but my mission was a success."

The guards didn't appreciate his sense of humor. Kakashi slumped in the chair, leaning forward. One of the guards put his fingers to Kakashi's jugular. "His heart is beating," he said. "I think he's just asleep."

"He looks like hell," the other said. "He's overdue a month and a half. I wonder where he's been."

"There's no telling. Jounins and ANBU get the worst missions. I'll stay a Genin. Much safer."

"You're a real coward for a ninja. You know that?"

The Genin shrugged. "Being a ninja was my dad's idea. I'm just trying to get through life without a kunai in the gut."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tsunade had treated Kakashi so often he recognized her chakra even before he opened his eyes. He leaned back in the chair, letting her do her work. She had pulled his vest open without even waking him.

"Where the hell have you been Baka?" she asked, flicking him on the forehead. Her tears flowed freely, and she showed no shame for the blatant display of emotions.

"I have to make my report in a secure area, and immediately," he said.

She pulled a lower eyelid down to examine his eye. "The only thing you're going to do immediately is lay on the stretcher when the medics arrive, not bother the hospital staff, and let us treat you. When you're better I'm going to think up new punishments for what you've done to your body."

He didn't let her rant stop him. This was too important. "I have something for your eyes alone," he said. "You have to be the first person to deal with me." He didn't want anyone but Tsunade to see the mark. If it got around the village that Orochimaru had marked a Jounin there would be panic.

"I'll give orders for no one to deal with you but me," she said. The medics arrived with a stretcher and put him on it. It was too short for him, and they had to make sure his legs didn't hit the ground.

He tried to stay awake until Tsunade could speak with him, but he was asleep a few seconds after he hit the stretcher. He woke when a couple nurses put him into a bed. He struggled with them. "I have to see Tsunade first," he said.

"She gave orders. We're just letting you lay down so you can sleep. We won't bother you."

After they left he sat up on the bed, trying to stay awake until Tsunade arrived. He couldn't take the chance of a misunderstanding and some well-meaning person trying to help him out of his filthy clothes. He didn't want anyone but her to find out about the mark.

He blanked out and didn't come to until she was speaking to him. "Kakashi, what happened? How did you get injured?"

He tried to remove his vest, but his shoulder kept him from being able to do it. "Help me here," he said. "It's easier to show you than explain right now."

She pulled the vest off his uninjured shoulder so she could move it off the injured one with the least amount of movement possible from his bad shoulder.

"Now the shirt," he said. "I need you to see what's on my chest, just below the shoulder."

She tried to lift the shirt over his head, but the pain from moving his arm was too much. "Cut it off," he said.

She cut his shirt away, and she saw Orochimaru's mark. It was still swollen and purple, and the bite marks were clearly visible. Otherwise, it had healed. She touched it and saw him flinch away from her touch.

"Oh, Kakashi no," she said quietly. She sat on the bed and held him. "He marked you. Oh my poor boy." She sat on the bed and rocked him in her arms like a small child.

He lay there, pressed against her and feeling safe for the first time since he'd woken in the Sound village. "We can't let anyone know about the mark," he said.

"No, of course not. I know where you've been now. Were you tortured?"

"Only with the mark. Oddly enough most of them were hospitable."

"Is there anything else you have to tell me before you can sleep? I can examine you while you rest. I doubt you'd even wake right now."

"There's a scroll in my vest," he said. "Orochimaru has proposition for you. If he's being honest I think it's a good idea."

"I don't want to hear anything that bastard has to say. I want to tear his arms off and beat him to death with them."

"You might think differently after you read that scroll."

"I don't want to argue with you right now," she said. "You can make a full report later."

"The rest can wait," he said.

He dozed while she treated him, waking with a yelp when her chakra entered his knee.

"I take it that hurts," she said. "You damaged your leg out there. It was well-treated before. I can tell that. Who tended to you?"

"Kabuto," he said. "He didn't want to, but Orochimaru ordered him to."

"Our worst enemies treated our strongest ninja. There's something highly disturbing going on here."

He thought about Orochimaru touching him and shuddered. "You have no idea how disturbing."

"I know you said it didn't happen, but I need to know if they tortured you. You shouldn't be ashamed. You completed your mission and returned home. We're just glad to have you back."

He almost told her about what had happened between him and Orochimaru, but he decided he'd just make her angrier, and he needed her to accept his proposal. He knew it was partly the effect of the curse mark, but he wanted to help the Sound and the Leaf find peace, or at least a cease-fire.

"I had my wounds when they brought me into the Sound. Some bad things happened there, but I wouldn't call any of them torture."

"What would you call it then?" she asked.

"I'd call it one hell of a bad month and a half."

"So would I," she said. She looked at the bite mark, and again he flinched. "Does it hurt when I touch it?"

"No, it feels slimy. I feel repulsed." _It feels like a slug, _he thought.

"Not the nicest thing a man has ever said to me, but not the worst either," she said. "I'm going to bandage the wound, so the nurses won't see it. I'm giving orders for no one else to treat you. You should clean up first. You'll sleep better. Do you need help?"

"I think I can manage."

She looked amused. "You always have to be so independent, don't you? If you can manage so well by yourself, let me see you take your shoes off."

He tried, but he couldn't pull them off. "I guess I could use some help," he said, glad to have a friend who would do this for him.

She pulled off his shoes and socks and tugged at his pants, trying to keep from hurting his knee when she pulled them off and dropped them on the floor. When her hands reached for his boxers he said, "I think I can take it from here."

"I've seen naked men before," she said. "I am a doctor. I've treated you often enough that I'm fairly well acquainted with your body by now, you know."

"I know. I've always been unconscious before."

"Hush," she said. She pulled his boxers off and helped him to the bathroom. "You don't need to be embarrassed with me. I probably know more about you than your own mother ever did."

She helped him into the tub. "I'll be back in about 30 minutes or so. It will probably take you that long just to get the grit out of your hair. You lost weight out there. Between that and the hair you look like a dirty mop."

He managed to be clean and in bed before she returned. He might not be able to dress himself yet, but he could still hop across a hospital room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

When Kakashi woke Jiraiya was on one side of his bed and Naruto sat on the other. Both were crying. Jiraiya had a tissue to his nose, while Naruto was content to wipe his on an already saturated sleeve.

"I never noticed how alike you two are," Kakashi said.

Jiraiya and Naruto both laughed, but it was the kind of forced laugh given to a bad joke.

"You look like shit," Jiraiya said. "That must have been one hell of a party."

"If that was a party, then this is the mother of all hangovers," Kakashi said.

"I…I thought you were d…dead," Naruto said.

"Not dead, just late on a mission."

"Really fucking late then," Jiraiya growled. "Tsunade isn't telling anyone anything. You have a lobby full of people waiting to see you. Who did this to you?"

"I have to make a full report to Tsunade before I can give any details."

He was interrupted by a full hug from Naruto, which meant he got about 250 pounds of yellow, snotty, angsty friend right on his injured shoulder.

Naruto jumped off when Kakashi screamed. Kakashi held his shoulder and counted to ten slowly. _One- I won't kill my friend. Two – I won't kill my friend…._

"I'm sorry," Naruto said. "I wasn't thinking."

"It's ok," Kakashi said. "No real harm done. Just be careful with the merchandise, ok?"

"We can't take up too much of your time," Jiraiya said. "There are too many people who want to see you."

He patted Kakashi on his other shoulder, the one with the curse mark. Kakashi shied away from the touch. _That just felt like a frog's skin,_ he thought. This was getting really weird.

Kakashi had a suspicion. He looked at Naruto. "Why don't you give me a hug on the other side? There's nothing inflamed over there."

Naruto hugged him carefully, almost as if he was a glass vase. "It's ok kid. Everything's fine now. Just tell Sakura not to hit me. She likes to punch too much."

While he waited for his next visitor he reflected on what had just happened. When Naruto hugged him, he had pressed over the curse mark, just as Kakashi had planned. He had a distinct feeling of raw power, loneliness, and a strong sense of loss. He also felt a sense of disgust at Naruto's weak emotional nature.

He understood some of what the curse mark did now. It let him see people as Orochimaru would see them. He must view Tsunade and Jiraiya as their summons, just as he thought of himself as snakelike.

What Orochimaru thought of Naruto was pure bullshit. Kakashi had never seen him as a weak man – weak when he was a boy, yes. He'd grown into a powerful man, and Kakashi had come to understand that what looked like weakness to the world was really another type of strength. Naruto reached people that no one else could reach. There was something about his foolish willingness to reach out to even his enemy that Kakashi had never seen in any other ninja. It had turned Gaara from a psychopath into a functional human being, bridged gaps between countries, and could still bring Sasuke home if he'd ever accept.

_Fuck you, Orochimaru, _Kakashi thought. He didn't know if Orochimaru could feel what he tried to send him through the mark, but if he could feel what the old snake sent him, maybe it worked the other way around.

Gai and Lee came next. "How are you?" Gai whispered.

"I'm fine," Kakashi whispered back with a grin. "Why are we whispering?"

"I tend to be loud. The nurse said to keep my voice down. It's difficult. Being loud is very youthful."

"Do you want to spar when you get out?" Lee asked. Kakashi knew sparing was one of the few ways Lee knew how to deal with people older than him.

"Sure kid. It might be a few months this time though. I busted my leg up pretty bad."

They didn't hug him, so they didn't touch the curse mark. Kakashi was glad. He didn't want to know what Orochimaru thought of them. He didn't mind being used to make peace, but Orochimaru couldn't make him think differently of his friends - the Sound, yes, but not his friends.

He made his way through most of the rookie nine, several ANBU members – including Cat, and all the Jounins that were in town. He wished Sai wasn't out on a mission.

Asuma and Kurenai were next. Tsunade would have a fit if she knew how many people he was seeing, but he had missed Konoha so much he wanted to see them all.

His eyelids drooped despite his best intentions. Asuma was rambling on about something, like he always did when he was nervous.

He drifted off, and when he woke he was alone. An unlit cigarette hung from his mouth. "Ha, ha. Very funny Asuma," he said. He must have waited until Kurenai was out of the room. Kurenai had no sense of humor.

He hated hospitals – too much time to think. Today wasn't bad though. He had a good view of the Hokage tower from his bed, and he spent his time staring out the window. He watched the people in the street, feeling a sense of warmth as he saw his own village, the place he was meant to be.

His clothes had been taken away, and his book with them. He thought about his time in the Sound, enjoying the feeling of being home even more when contrasting it with dealing with Kabuto and Orochimaru. The Sound itself had seemed an interesting place, and he missed Kiria, but he could do without the Snake and Lackey show.

Anko came into the room, and he felt his mark begin to ache. She put her hand to her own mark and rubbed it absently.

"Well, look at the raggedy Scarecrow someone found," she said.

"The crows got after me out there," he said, grinning. He'd always liked Anko's sense of humor. As much as he valued his other friends, Anko was extremely low-maintenance. She was almost like having another guy around, except for those amazing breasts. He'd tried to get her in bed a few times, but he always seemed to be with someone when she was interested. When he was single she was never really available – bad timing.

She sat down near him, but as soon as she did her eyes narrowed. "Why do you smell like snake?" she asked.

Kakashi felt a sense of panic coming from the mark. He didn't want Anko to know. He tried to push the feeling aside. He couldn't tell her for security reasons, but he knew that fear wasn't his own. He could only partly subjugate it. He knew logically he didn't have anything to fear from his friend, but under the logic was buried fear.

"You always complain that I smell like dog," he said.

"It's probably my imagination. I randomly smell snakes sometimes. It's a side effect of that damn mark."

Kakashi remembered the side effects from her mark, the seizures, and the time she'd tried to kill Kakashi against her own will – sobbing the whole time. After he'd restrained her she'd held her mark and passed out. It was the beginning of an odd friendship. He'd never really noticed her before that, but any girl that could fight him and almost beat him deserved his attention. She'd almost beaten him when she was weakened from the mark. If he hadn't gotten the Sharingan they would have been about equal in power physically.

He remembered her first year after she was marked as a time when she looked like a ghost drifting around the village.

He wondered if he'd end up the same way. She'd made it, though. Somehow even with very few people who didn't see her as a possible traitor she'd found the will to detach herself from the mark enough to survive. He'd never understood, but he'd been there for her as much as she'd let him. After what happened with his father he had sympathy for people treated badly by the village for something someone else had done.

Now that the panic induced by the mark was gone he wished he could have spoken to her. It wasn't a good idea though. Tsunade probably wouldn't authorize anyone but herself to deal with this. She might let him deal with Jiraiya, if he was lucky.

"I gotta go," Anko said awkwardly. She slid a flask under his pillow. "I thought you might want something better than hospital food."

She looked puzzled. "Get well soon." She left, stopping at the door and looking back at him, rubbing the place where her own curse mark lay.

He contented himself with watching the busy movement in the streets below and nipping from the flask Anko brought him. He pulled a chair to the window and just watched his village live.

He was watching a beautiful sunset, not so much marred by the distant smoke of Mt. Felenor as enhanced by it. He chuckled as he remembered Kiria's reaction to Konoha being so close to an active volcano. She couldn't understand the connection Konoha had with the land.

_Just as you can't understand the connection the Sound has with the mountains, _he heard.

He jerked upright in his seat, looking around. That was Orochimaru's voice. _It's not really him in my head. That's just my own thoughts in his voice, _Kakashi thought. He really didn't like how the mark was affecting him.

"What are you doing out of bed?" he heard behind him.

"Aah!" he yelled, startled out of his thoughts. He recognized Sakura's voice, but he had already tried to jump out of his chair on instinct. His leg twisted and he fell, holding his knee.

Sakura helped him into the bed. "Jumpy, Sensei? It's good to see you still have your uncanny sense of falling gracefully." She accidentally brushed the area above his mark, and he saw a picture of her bursting a mountain open. And then he saw her pining after Sasuke. _I get it, jerk. You think she's weak. You think we're all weak. Things that don't bend break, Orochimaru. We're not weak, we're pliable._

She glanced at the door. "I can't stay. I'm not even supposed to be here."

"Why not?"

"Tsunade's orders. She won't tell me why; she just specifically forbade me to come see you."

"You could get in a lot of trouble," he said. "Why are you here?"

She kissed him on the cheek. "I'm here because my old Sensei managed to disappear for a month and a half. I wanted to see you."

"You haven't called me Sensei in years," he said.

"When we're stressed we all regress. I hope you can tell me what this is all about later."

"I will if I can. It's extremely sensitive information."

He heard steps far down the hallway.

"I have to go," Sakura said. "It's my ass if I get caught here." She crawled out the window. _It's weird that she has to creep around her own hospital. Tsunade is at least taking this seriously._

A nurse came into the room and checked his chart. She dropped her pen and bent over to pick it up.

Kakashi leaned over to see her uniform stretched tight across her ass. _Hell, yeah,_ he thought.

"So what are you doing later, Gorgeous? Want to get a drink somewhere when I get out?"

She smiled at him and nodded.

"What's your name then, Beautiful?"

She shook her head, miming drawing a zipper across her lips.

"Tsunade has orders that I'm not to be spoken to, doesn't she?"

She put her finger to her lips. "Shh," she said.

He saw her nametag. "Alright, Jenny, I'll talk to you when we're allowed."

She smiled and nodded again.

It was the next morning before he saw Tsunade again. "I had an interesting report from a nurse last night," she said.

"I hope you didn't punish her. She followed orders."

"I know. I didn't want you communicating with anyone until I had the chance to speak to you, and that includes hitting on the nurses. You can play next time you're here. I found out you had a train of visitors yesterday, so I gave orders. Did anyone else come to see you?"

"Just hospital staff," he said. He wasn't going to give Sakura away, but Tsunade almost always caught him if he tried to lie to her.

"Did you speak with any of your visitors about what happened?"

"No. I think Anko suspects though. She asked me why I smell like a snake."

"Just try to keep away from her," Tsunade said. "It might come out eventually, but I want this contained as much as possible."

"She's one of my best friends. It won't be easy to avoid her. I can give my report now, Tsunade-sama."

"Let me take care of something first," she said.

She left and returned with Asuma. "Stay outside, and if anyone comes tell them this area if off limits."

"Hai, Tsunade-sama." He sent Kakashi a questioning look. Kakashi just shrugged. He had put Asuma's cigarette on the bedside table. He picked it up and flicked it at Asuma.

Tsunade closed the door and used a jutsu to call a four foot snail. "Seal this room," she said. "I don't want anyone outside to hear anything."

The snail spread its slime around the door frame and window. "That should work, Slug-princess," it said.

"Thank you. You may go. Give me your report, Kakashi."

"So I woke up in a hospital, guarded by a Sound nin – Kiria. I'll tell you more about her later."

"Tell me you didn't fall in love with a Sound nin," Tsunade said.

"No. I just made a friend up there."

"That's good. I wouldn't put it past you."

"I'd never fall in love with a Sound nin. I'd get a hook-up yes, but not love."

She smiled. "That's my Scarecrow."

"I was really messed up. Orochimaru made Kabuto heal me. The weird thing was he gave Kiria and Kabuto orders to explain their pasts to me and get to know me."

"Kabuto did that?"

"He did. He hated every minute of it, but he follows orders. Orochimaru took me around the Sound village and introduced me to people. He wanted me to see the Sound in a new way. He wanted me to see how much alike our two villages are – that there can be peace between us."

He didn't miss what happened next. Tsunade's face closed. It was something he was used to. Ninjas had the ability to keep their emotions from showing on a moment's notice.

"You think I've been compromised, don't you?" he asked.

"You might be," she said. "I'm not saying you're betraying the village. I think Orochimaru might have gotten to you."

"He didn't get to me. I saw some things up there we didn't know about. We've been mistaken about them."

"Ok, ok. Calm down," she said.

"I am calm!" He felt like he wasn't explaining himself well.

"If this is calm, I'd hate to see you upset," she said. "Take a few deep breaths."

He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. "There," he said. "I'm calm."

"You need to try to approach this logically," she said. "We don't know what that mark is going to do to you. Have you had anything happen because of it?"

"I have some odd emotions. Things I might think briefly seem more important - distorted. I think Orochimaru's messing with me, but it's not going to get the best of me. I agree with what he says about peace, but I'm not fooled. I know he'd try to get the upper hand if he could. I just think it's in his best interests not to fight with us. We can use this."

"It's not a bad idea," she said. "I don't like the idea of sending you back. We certainly can't do it until you conquer the influence of the mark."

"That's understandable," he said. "I'll just have to work hard to overcome it. I can do it."

"I'm sure you can," Tsunade said. "What else happened?"

"He marked me. I almost died several times, but Kabuto and Kiria saw me through."

"Your guard helped you overcome the marking?"

"She was more than a guard. Orochimaru has it in his mind that I'm going to return to him as a Sound ninja. He assigned Kiria to my future team."

"Pompous ass," Tsunade said. "How did you react to that?"

Kakashi felt his mark tingle, and he became irritated with her. He thought she was fishing to see if he had been warped by Orochimaru. "I told him I'd come home, get some things, and head right back. I also said I'd deface the Hokage monument and bring him your bra. Is there any other way you want to check and see if I'm loyal or not?"

She flicked him on the head, a little harder than necessary. "Don't get smart with me kid. I'm looking out for you. I know you're not Sasuke. I just don't like the idea of that snake getting into your head."

"Sorry, Tsunade-sama. I've been feeling irritable lately. I told him no. he's persuasive, but I haven't been brainwashed. They didn't torture me; they just tried to persuade me."

"I trust you," she said. "I don't just trust you as my top ninja, I trust you as one of my closest friends. If you sink, we won't let you drown. When I ask you these things it's to keep you safe as much as for security reasons."

"I know," he said. "It's good to be home. I have no desire to go back there, except to make peace and help Kiria."

"You keep mentioning Kiria. Why is this woman so important?"

"Orochimaru decided I'm going to be her teammate when I return. I killed her brother. She still wants to work with me, but this whole thing is hard for her."

"She sounds like a strong woman."

"She's an amazing woman. I wish she'd been born here. You'd like her."

"I guess she's pretty?" Tsunade asked.

"Not so much. She's what people might call a "handsome" woman. She probably looked better before she got a scar across her face. I don't like chicks with scars."

She smiled and tapped the headband he'd placed over the Sharingan.

"What? My scar is hot. Women love it. They're a turn off for me when they're on chicks."

"You're a shallow man. You know that?"

"I have depth," he said. "I just prefer attractive women."

"And here I thought you spent all your time with the pack. There are rumors."

He laughed loudly. He suddenly knew what she was doing. "Are you distracting me for some reason?"

"Yes. You've had a bad time, a life-changing experience, and a horrible injury. I know we have some serious things to discuss, but I wanted to hear you laugh again. It's hard for me to watch this. I'm not going anywhere ok? Remember that when things get bad for you."

"I will, Tsunade-sama."

"Is there anything else important that happened? Anything you might not have thought of?"

"No," he said, a little too quickly.

"Don't lie to me," she said. "What happened?"

"Nothing, Tsunade-sama. It was just a personal issue."

"When you have a personal problem in an enemy village, it's not personal. What happened?"

"It's really not important," he said.

"Kakashi, either tell me what happened, or I'll have you interrogated."

He scratched the back of his head. "I had an unwelcome sexual encounter. It's not important."

The horror on her face embarrassed him. He looked away from her. "Can we let this go?" he asked.

He heard her gulp, then sniffle. "Don't cry," he said. "It won't happen again. I took care of it. There was a genjutsu; I broke out of it – end of story."

"They're monsters," she said.

"No. There are jerks everywhere. It's really not a bad place."

"Is that all?" she asked. "I need to know."

"That's all. Don't let this bother you too much."

"Keep me informed on what happens," she said. "I want to know everything that mark does to you."

"Yes, Tsunade-sama."

"Let me see the mark," she said. He pulled the gown open so she could see his shoulder. She pulled back the bandages and poked at it.

"You make a face every time I touch it. What do you feel when I do that?"

"It's the weirdest thing, but I'm afraid it might make you angry."

"Don't worry about that. What did the mark do?"

"It feels like snail slime," he said.

She blinked a few times. "Snail slime? SNAIL SLIME?"

"It's not how I think of you; it's how he does."

"Does he now? What else?"

"I get feelings from other people. Jiraiya feels like frog skin. I saw pictures in my mind when Naruto and Sakura hugged me – almost like they are, but not quite. Orochimaru thinks we're all weak."

"That's not surprising," she said.

"There is one other thing," he said. "Do you think I could talk to Jiraiya about this? I've never kept many secrets from him unless I was ordered to. It would help."

"I'll talk to him later. He usually comes by my office on Tuesdays. I'll tell him to come see you tomorrow."

"You can tell him whatever you need to, Tsunade-sama. I trust you both."

Tsunade thought he seemed calm enough, and he was in charge of his emotions. She had a suspicion that he wouldn't be in control long.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jiraiya showed up that night, as usual. He entered her office with her favorite brand of Sake. He did his special entrance and landed in the middle of the room, his arm outstretched with the bottle.

"Ta-da! Sake time!"

Tsunade had her head on the desk, crying. He'd seen this before. The dark side of being the village leader was that she saw most of the ugliest things.

He put the bottle on the desk. "What happened? Can you tell me about it?"

She looked up and wiped tears from her eyes. He noticed that she already had several empty sake bottles on the desk. She reached for the bottle he'd brought, scattering the empty bottles littering her desk.

Jiraiya pulled the bottle away. "I think you've had enough tonight. Why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

She put her head back on the desk. "Sometimes I hate being the Hokage. I don't want to know those ugly things. Sometimes I want all this to be someone else's burden."

"Why don't you come over to the couch? Let me hold you."

She moved toward the couch, weaving but making her way. She collapsed on the couch, hiccupping from too much alcohol and too many tears.

"Drink this," he said, handing her a glass of water. When she was finished he pulled her to himself, waiting until she was ready to talk.

"They're all like my children," she said. "All of them. When one of them dies or gets hurt it hurts me. I'm too soft for this job."

"You're not too soft. The other Hokages probably feel the same way." He doubted it. He couldn't picture Gaara crying over a Sand ninja. It was strength in a way. She inspired a different type of loyalty – the love a person only has for a parent. She was the village's mother.

"Kakashi reported today," she said.

"look, no matter how bad it was, it's over. He's home. Whatever happened is done with. As long as he didn't pick up some disease somewhere it will be fine."

"Jiraiya, Orochimaru marked him."

"Well fuck," Jiraiya said quietly. "Are you sure?"

"He has a big purple, swollen splotch with three marks. It looks just like Anko's and Sasuke's. he told me it was Orochimaru."

"who knows about this?" Jiraiya asked.

"Just you and me. He said Anko might suspect. He wants to talk to you."

"I'll see him in the morning. No wonder he looked so fucked up."

"It hurts me to think what's going to happen to him. He's special to me."

"I know," Jiraiya said. "I hate the idea too. I love that brat. He's all that's left of my family. We'll get him through this."

"There's more," Tsunade said. "I think he might have been compromised."

"You can't be serious."

"It's just a suspicion. I hope I'm wrong. After what happened with Sasuke we can't take the chance. Kakashi is already the strongest ninja in Konoha. If he allowed Orochimaru to give him the power of the curse mark he would be unstoppable."

"He's not going to defect," Jiraiya said. "How can you question his loyalty?"

"It isn't his loyalty I question. It's his sanity – not now, but later. The mark is already affecting him. He told me he feels things differently now, like that the mark influences things he'd usually think of briefly seem to suddenly have more importance."

"You're making too much of this," Jiraiya said. "Anko made it through."

"Anko was a child, just like Sasuke. I have no idea what this will do to Kakashi."

"Sasuke didn't try very hard. He wanted what Orochimaru had to give him, from the start. Orochimaru can't offer anything to Kakashi that he would want."

"I hope you're right," she said. "Because if you're wrong – if Kakashi turns, I'll have to do my duty. I'll have to kill him."

She began to sob.

"You know I love you," Jiraiya said.

"Oh not now!" she said.

"I'm telling you I'll spare you this, because I love you. If it comes to that – if we're sure Kakashi is about to turn against Konoha, I'll kill him. You won't have to do it."

"I can't believe we're even talking about this," she said.

"I know. It's too horrible to be true, but it is. We'll just have to make sure we keep him sane and out of Orochimaru's grasp."

"That's going to be difficult," she said. "Orochimaru wants to have peace talks with us, and he specifically asked for Kakashi."

"Then just say no. Send another diplomat. We can't take the chance."

"I won't send him there unless he gets over the curse mark. It would probably be safe then."

"We'll worry about that later," he said. "For now let's just focus on getting him through this. You tend to look at the dark side of things too much sometimes."

"This is awfully dark," she said.

"He'll make it. You have to have faith in him."

XXXXXXXXXXXx

Jiraiya sat in Kakashi's hospital room, studying him. He had snuck in quietly, making sure he didn't wake Kakashi. Kakashi was exhausted enough that it wasn't difficult, and now Jiraiya sat watching him. He wanted to see for himself how Kakashi had changed during his time in the Sound.

There were several things obviously different. He was moving around in his sleep, mumbling and trying to brush something off his chest.

_He doesn't usually sleep restlessly, _Jiraiya thought. There were a few times when he remembered Kakashi having trouble like this; after Obito died, and Rin, and his Sensei. He hadn't reacted this way when Sakumo died, but he'd been pretty fucked up. His reactions then weren't typical.

Kakashi whined in his sleep. Jiraiya thought the look on his face was pained. "I won't do it," he mumbled. "You can't make me."

The sheet had slipped during his struggles and Jiraiya could see his chest. Kakashi had always been thin, but Jiraiya was used to seeing a strong body with well-toned muscles and a healthy look. He never would have thought Kakashi could look like this. His ribs showed clearly, and his skin had a slightly silver cast. He was emaciated, and Jiraiya wondered how much the mark had affected his body already.

Kakashi began to kick with his good leg. After one strong kick he woke violently, sitting up in bed with a loud grunt. He put his head in his hands, panting loudly. "It's not real. I'm in Konoha."

"Of course you're in Konoha," Jiraiya said. "Did you dream you were in the Sound?"

Kakashi looked his way, and Jiraiya saw an odd look in his eye. It was red-rimmed and hollow. Jiraiya was reminded of a man he'd seen once just before his execution.

"I spoke with Tsunade last night," Jiraiya said. "She said you wanted to speak to me. I knew you were torn up, but I can't believe he marked you. Is that what you were dreaming about?"

"I've never had anything like that in my life," Kakashi said. "I thought things would be better when I got back, but he followed me. It's not the pain; I could stand that. It's like he was in my head in that dream."

"How did he follow you?" Jiraiya asked. "He's over a thousand miles north of here."

"You think I'm crazy, don't you?" Kakashi asked. "Tsunade-sama thinks I'm crazy too."

"I don't think you're crazy," Jiraiya said. _Yet, _he thought. "I think you had a torturous experience, and you haven't come to terms with it. That's normal."

"I just need time," Kakashi said. "A lot of time to retrain my body, and a few good lays. I'm not too bad off physically, I guess. I managed to get a date with a nurse last night, and we weren't even allowed to speak to each other."

_Not too bad under dim light, _Jiraiya thought. Kakashi's sexual prowess was legend among the nurses. He could probably have a raging case of herpes and still get one if he wanted. "Good work with the nurse. You'll have to give me the full story on that later. It might end up in a book."

"Enough of my exploits ended up in your last book. There are two women who won't talk to me, and I still get death threats in the mail from Elaine."

"You don't begrudge your old uncle a little research material now and then, do you?"

"I guess not. It did make reading the book more interesting."

They ran out of things to banter about, and they sat in uncomfortable silence. "So what happens now?" Kakashi asked. "Am I going to be locked up? Will the medical types cut me up to study me?"

"Of course not," Jiraiya said. "You're not just a tool to us. You're my family for god's sake! Do you really think I'd let that happen to you?"

"No," Kakashi said. "I don't. Things just seem so much worse this morning."

"What was in that dream that affected you so much?" Jiraiya asked. "You seemed to be doing well last night."

Kakashi lay back on the bed, the adrenaline rush from the dream gone. "Orochimaru wants me," he said. "I kept dreaming that he was coming out of that mark and biting my friends. It was so lifelike. He smells like a snake up close now. Did you know that? I can still smell him from my dream."

His voice had risen as he spoke, and by the time he was finished he was yelling.

"Shh," Jiraiya said. "This isn't supposed to get out, and you're yelling loud enough for the whole hospital to hear."

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "I gotta think about this. I have to figure out a way to stop him from taking me. I don't want to end up like Sasuke. I'll kill myself before I let him have me. He wants me to be a Sound –nin."

"No, _we_ have to find a way to stop this," Jiraiya said. "The biggest mistake Sasuke made was shutting out the people who love him. Lean on us, kid."

Kakashi closed his eyes. "I'm worn out. I just slept a good six hours and I feel like I've been awake for a week."

"How is the leg?" Jiraiya asked.

"Better. Tsunade is ten times the doctor Kabuto ever will be. She said the worst problem is what I did to it on the way home. She thinks I can be out of bed on a cane in a few days. I want to train again. It would help me start over. It won't heal completely, but it will be as good as it's going to get soon."

"I'm glad you still have ambitions. We'll work on that."

He left Kakashi with a heavy feeling. Orochimaru was doing his best to take him. He was sure of it. Nothing but Kakashi's will and the support of his friends could save him now.


	4. Chapter 4

Jiraiya didn't want to make this report. He procrastinated, holding off the trip to Tsunade's office until that night. He knew she'd expect him, but he hated the look on her face when she hurt. He just wanted to hold her, protect her from the horrors of the world. Tsunade was no shrinking pale princess in a tall tower. She didn't need to be saved. She needed to be loved, but she didn't understand that.

She was working on the ever-present pile of paperwork. When he closed the door she sat her pen aside. When she looked up at him he saw the same grief he'd seen when she buried Dan.

"You didn't sleep at all, did you?" he asked.

"Sake only does so much," she said. "How is he? Did you learn anything?"

"He's fucked up," Jiraiya said. "He's fighting, but I can't tell how much of what's happening to him has to do with the curse mark and how much would be the reactions of any torture victim. He's having some nightmares, but that's normal for him. Every time he had childhood trauma he reacted like this."

He's paranoid and hysterical. That's something I've never seen in him. He thought we might operate on him or put him in jail. He has it in his mind that we think he's crazy."  
"Do you think he's crazy?" she asked.

"No. I think he's unhinged, but not crazy. I have an idea that might help. How soon could he leave the hospital?"

"I want to keep him there until he's well."

"The hospital has always been a prison for him. Unless you want to tie him down he'll be out the window as soon as his leg will let him. A hospital is an emasculating place. It's hard for a man who's used to doing everything for himself to be restricted and cared for. No one likes to feel like a child."

"I can't send him home right now," she said. "You know how he does. He'll mope and get worse."

"I wasn't thinking of his home. I was thinking of taking him to mine. I can look after him. It would be better than him rotting in there, feeling sickly. It's a mental thing. No one can feel well in a hospital."

"There's something to what you say," she said. "I could have him out in a few days, but he'll be a handful. The shoulder is fine. The leg will take months yet. It's mostly atrophied, but there's still some damage to be dealt with. He's going to be an emotional wreck."

"I've dealt with him when he was a wreck before. I can do it again."

"This time you can't let his friends know. It's just you and me, Jiraiya."

"The alternative is too horrible. I can't afford to fail."

They heard a strong knock on the office door. "Oy, Obaa-chan!"

"Let him in," she said.

Jiraiya unlocked the door. He opened it just as Naruto was knocking loudly, and Naruto fell through the open door. He barely caught himself before falling. "Why can't we see Kakashi?" he asked. "What's wrong with him?"

"He's seriously ill, Naruto. He can't have visitors."

The anger on Naruto's face changed to fear. "Is he worse? He's not dying, is he?"

"Naruto, you need to trust me."

"But I need to see him!" he said.

Tsunade stood and slammed her hands on the desk, palms down. "Enough!" she yelled. "I've been too patient with you! He's seriously ill, Naruto. That's all you need to know!"

Naruto's mouth dropped. Tsunade yelled at him occasionally, when he did something stupid. She never yelled at him unless he really crossed a line.

"He's dying, isn't he?" Naruto asked, the heartbreak obvious on his face. He looked at Jiraiya. "Is he dead already? Are we not allowed to see him because he's dead and it's a state secret?"

"We have to tell him something," Jiraiya said to Tsunade.

Naruto stood in the middle of the room, staring at the floor. His clenched fists shook as tears fell onto the floor.

"Naruto, when will you learn to trust me?" she asked.

"I trust you," he said. "I trust you Obaa-chan."

"Kakashi got a disease on his last mission. He's horrible at taking care of his body, and the last group of visitors sent him on a downward spiral. I caught it in time, but I can't have him overexerting himself again. He almost died."

"I didn't mean to hurt him," Naruto said.

"You didn't know. He knew better. He's as much of a brat as you are. When he gets out he's going to Jiraiya's to recuperate, and one of us will let you know when he can see you. Right now his nerves are shot."

"Is there anything I can do?" Naruto asked.

"You can train hard. I suppose you could write him a letter. He's going to feel very lonely – probably depressed. It's hard to be sick for a long time."

She could see something she'd seen a number of times. Naruto's face became a rock of intensity. She knew very few things could overcome Naruto's will when it had a direction.

"I'll do it, Obaa-chan. I'll write him the best letter."

"That's good, Naruto. You don't know how much he needs his friends right now."

"And don't slam my…"

_(Slam)_

…door. Baka."

"He's a good kid," Jiraiya said.

"Too good. The world will ravage him."

"It already has," Jiraiya said. "He just doesn't let it make him who he doesn't want to be."

"Don't tell Kakashi about the letter. Let it be a surprise."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tsunade stopped outside Kakashi's room. She heard strange noises from inside, grunts and quick groans.

_Seriously Kakashi? In the middle of the day? You can't at least wait to fuck the nurses at night? _She'd told the nurses not to talk to him. She'd never told them not to screw him. Some of them probably wanted Kakashi enough to bend the rules that much.

_They should know better. They don't even know what he has; he could be contagious._

She was furious with whatever slut Kakashi had found this time. She usually turned a blind eye to his antics, but this was a blatant disregard for safety.

She waited outside, seething, to see which tart came out. 15, 20 minutes went by, and she began to be bored. After 30 minutes she began to feel embarrassed. She locked the door from the outside. If the bitch wanted to get out she'd have to leave through the window.

She came back thirty minutes later, and she still heard the same sounds.

_O come on, _she thought. _No one has that kind of stamina after being injured._

She opened the door, but instead of the sordid scene she'd expected she found Kakashi on the floor, holding his good arm behind his back. He struggled to do pushups, and the sounds she had been hearing were the pained noises of him trying to raise his battered body from the floor. She was used to seeing ninjas train, and to watch him fight to lift himself at about a quarter of his usual speed saddened her.

"Do even know what the word "moderation" means Kakashi? I knew you were stubborn, but you are being a dumb little shit right now."

Kakashi rolled onto his back and lay panting. His hospital gown was soaked with sweat.

"Jiraiya said that to me a few times," Kakashi said. "He said I wouldn't know moderation if it bit me in the ass. I told him moderation wouldn't bite anyone in the ass; that would be too extreme. I got smacked for that."

She hit him across the cheek with the palm of her hand, just enough to sting. "You're getting smacked for it again, baka. You're seriously injured. What are you thinking?"

"I'm tired of being weak," he said. "I can fight Orochimaru better mentally if I'm strong physically."

"Is that the only reason?" she asked.

"No. I've never been this badly injured. It's starting to piss me off. I freaked out over a damn dream this morning. I just need to get on my feet, figuratively and literally."

He rolled over. "Now if you don't mind, I have training to do." He began to slowly do pushups again, collapsing onto the floor instead of lowering himself as he should have done. He would lift himself again, not letting the fact that he couldn't hold himself up for more than a second stop him.

She was secretly glad at the fight he was showing, but she couldn't let the brat hurt himself more. She reached down and twisted her hand in his gown over his back, getting a good handful. She grabbed him by the seat of his pajamas and used her superhuman strength to lift him and drop him on the bed.

"Let's not forget who is in charge here," she said. "As it turns out I have some good news for you. You're getting out of the hospital soon."

"That is good news."

"There's a catch though," she said.

"There's always a catch. What is it?"

"You have to stay at Jiraiya's house, and you have to follow his orders."

"Follow his orders? I'm 27 years old! I'm not a kid that needs a nursemaid!"

"No, but you are about to go through one of the most grueling trials you'll ever face, and you need friends. I can't trust anyone with this information but Jiraiya. It was his idea to get you out of the hospital. He thinks you won't get well until you get out. There are some psychological aspects involved in healing."

"Why can't I go to my own house? I can take care of myself."

"You tend to mope when you're injured. This is the worst time for that. I want someone to keep a close eye on you, and I trust Jiraiya. You can train there. You'll have to stay until your condition isn't recognizable. There are too many people who might recognize this as what Anko went though. The village morale would suffer horribly. It might get out to other villages, giving the Sound more legitimacy and making us seem weak.

I have a cover story prepared for you. You caught a disease on a mission and almost died. You have a bad habit of not taking care of yourself, and I've given orders not to bother you."

"What makes you think anyone will buy this?"

"Have you seen yourself in a mirror lately? You look like you caught a nasty disease somewhere. If what happened with Anko is any indication, it will get worse before it gets better."

"I don't want to burden Jiraiya like this," Kakashi said.

"He offered. He helped you several times when you were younger. He loves you, Kakashi. That's enough reason."

"I'll do it. It's better than lying around here with mute nurses."

"I'll come by as often as possible," she said. "I don't expect you to do anything but train, fight the mark, and try to keep yourself sane. You have no other responsibilities."

I want three days of good behavior and I'll let you out of here," she said. "I want to do more work on your knee."

She didn't miss the longing look toward the window.

"Don't even think about it. I'll have you brought back here faster than you can say "confiscated porn".

_She'd understand better if she got out of that office and into the field, _Kakashi heard in his head. _She doesn't understand because she's a desk jockey. _

He didn't like hearing Orochimaru's voice in his head. It was worse because it echoed his own thoughts on occasion. Sometimes when she fussed at him for sneaking out of the hospital he thought she'd view things differently if she was injured as often as he was. He took the most risky missions, and what he gained was a sterile hospital prison.

_I just need your medical chakra. I don't need to be coddled like a sick child, _he thought.

"Kakashi?" Tsunade asked. "What just happened there?"

Kakashi snapped out of his thoughts. "I'm sorry. I was just thinking." _What the hell? I don't feel that way about her. That was barely a frustration I had with her. _

"Nothing, Tsuande-sama. I just feel irritated when I have to stay here. You know that."

"I do, and I know you think just because you're a strong ninja that you can do anything you want to with your body. If you want out of here, you will obey orders."

"Yes, Tsuande-sama."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jiraiya was waiting for her in the lobby.

"I didn't expect you here," she said.

"I thought you could use some support yourself. Kakashi isn't the only one going through a difficult time. How did it go?"

"He's pushing his body to the limits, again," she said.

"That's not unusual."

"No, it's not unusual. I'm fairly sure he was thinking about his normal "escaping the hospital" routine.

What bothers me is that he was rebellious. That's not something I've ever seen with him before. It was subtle, but he's never crossed me like that before. We've had differences, but he's always been the type to argue maturely unless something really set his temper off. He's always snippy when he's injured, but this was different. I can't say why; it just bothered me."

"He can be that way," Jiraiya said. "You just don't see that side of him."

"No," she said. "I don't. He treats me like a mother-figure. That's why it confused me when he looked at me like he hated me earlier."

"You must be imagining that," Jiraiya said. "I don't think he has it in him to hate any of his friends. I've never known anyone as forgiving and understanding except for Naruto. He even forgave the village for what happened to Sakumo.""

"I'm not imagining what I saw. He's always been dog-like, but the look he gave me reminded me of a chained, abused mastiff. It wasn't a sane look."

"That's completely outside his personality," Jiraiya said. "He hasn't acted spiteful toward his friends since he was a teenager. After Obito died he changed."

"Yes, and now he's had another traumatic experience. I don't know if it's the trauma or the mark, but he wasn't acting like himself earlier. Only time will tell."

XXXXXXXXXX

Kakashi knew that at least some of the dark thoughts weren't his own. He felt like a prisoner. _She's waiting for me to betray the village, _he thought. _After all I've done, I have one problem and she'll throw me away._

_No. This isn't right. This isn't me. _

He focused on the times she'd helped him far more than a doctor or village leader was required to do. When he ran from the hospital she was the one who tracked him down and brought him back, but when she could she scolded him and let him go home.

He remembered her tears at the gate. That wasn't the face of someone who would turn on a friend.

_She wouldn't hesitate to kill you if you endangered the village._

_Shut the fuck up, Orochimaru, or your mark, or my own insanity. I would kill any friend who endangered my village. It's what we're supposed to do. If I ever think I might betray Konoha, I'll save them the trouble and do it myself._

He felt like fighting. It made him angry to have this intangible thing threatening to take over his life.

Still, there was the problem that the mark only really exaggerated his own angry or bitter thoughts. He knew it; he just didn't know what to do about it.

_She knows more than she's telling you._

"Enough!" he yelled. "Fuck off!"

Jiraiya entered the room with a wary look. "Who are you cussing at?"

"It's hard to explain," Kakashi said.

"Try," Jiraiya said.

"I hear this voice telling me things. The kind of things that wouldn't normally bother me seem extremely important. I know I'm being paranoid, but I can't help but wonder if Tsunade is going to betray me."

Jiraiya clenched his fists. "Don't you ever say such a thing again! She was up all night worrying about you."

"I know it's not logical. It's like they aren't my own thoughts."

"If they aren't yours then whose do you think they are?"

"I think it's Orochimaru's influence, and I don't know how to stop it. I accept that this might mean my death. I've never had any problem being a tool. It's my life. Something's changed, and it's not by my will. It's like he's trying to make me hate her."

"He probably is. I think the best way to deal with this is to be open about it. You seem to know it's not logical. Hold on to that."

"You know Orochimaru might win this," Kakashi said.

"That doesn't sound like the brat who conquered the Sharingan and every other obstacle he ever faced. What happened to your fight?"

"I'm not giving up. I just can't get a hold of myself."

"If you give up he'll take you." Jiraiya said.

"I know. If it happens I don't want you to have any guilt if you have to kill me. I don't want to hurt anyone."

"I won't let you give in to him," Jiraiya said. "I'll always know you put your village first, and if you turn on us I'll still remember that, even if I have to kill you. But we're talking like we can't win. That's not going to get us anywhere. In a few days you can come to my place, and we can start getting you back in shape. I even have a nice surprise for you, something to remind you of the people who love you."

"I wish we could talk to Anko," Kakashi said. "She's been through this."

"It's too much of a security risk. Anko chose the village, but I don't' know how this might affect her. She never got over what happened. I'm afraid the dual influence of your marks might make this more difficult for both of you."

Kakashi behaved himself as much as possible, but he became irritated quickly. When a nurse came in he decided if she couldn't talk to him, he could at least talk to her.

"Look, I know you're under orders, but could you at least ask someone if I can have a book or something? I'm going so stir-crazy in here I'd read the fucking Ladies' Home Journal if I couldn't get anything else."

The nurse shrugged. Kakashi liked this one least in the whole hospital. The fat on her massive jowls reminded him of Pakun, and the ugly, hairy mole on her cheek reminded him of her personality. A few years ago she had been told to put in a catheter, and he could swear she handled him roughly on purpose. He didn't know what she had against him, but it was definitely personal.

_They could have at least given me a pretty nurse,_ he thought. He knew she wouldn't pass on his message. He was stuck here for three days without anything to distract him.

He couldn't escape the dreams. He got about three hours of sleep, waking occasionally from dreams that got progressively worse.

He'd dropped acid once, on accident. Asuma had a seriously fucked up sense of humor when he was younger, and he'd given Kakashi a hit without him knowing.

That was what these dreams were like. Vivid images of snakes and mountains mixed with Orochimaru speaking to him softly.

"You'd be so happy here Kakashi-kun," he said. "I know you're frightened, but in time you'll be happy. Just let us accept you. Kiria needs to move on. She needs you. We need you much more than Konoha."

Orochimaru's face changed, and he saw Tsunade. "You're just a tool, Kakashi. You're a rusted, broken tool. Do you know what we do with broken tools? We throw them out."

He saw her face morph into a giant slug, her body the same but her head hideously deformed.

He woke sweating, alone. He lay still, his heart beating heavily. He felt dirty, like he'd betrayed Tsunade.

_I can't tell anyone about this, _he thought. He couldn't stand the thought of how Jiraiya would look at him, or the feelings he'd stir in Tsunade if she knew.

_It's just a fucking dream anyway._

The ugly nurse was apparently assigned to him. Tsunade was probably worried about him and the pretty nurses. She didn't need to worry. They followed orders.

He sat by the window, watching the village, wanting to join them. It was a beautiful day, and he could hear birds singing. A breeze blew through the window, and he could smell the BBQ restaurant nearby. He could see just a bit of the memorial graveyard from here. He wanted to talk to Obito. He'd have to go see him as soon as possible.

He heard the door open, but he didn't turn around. Nurse fuck-ugly could do what she needed to do without him, and if she wanted something from him he'd force her to talk to him. He just didn't feel like dealing with hospital bullshit anymore.

"What's so fascinating out there?" Jiraiya asked behind him.

"Everything," Kakashi said. "I wanted to get home so bad, and now I'm stuck watching Konoha like a cable TV show. I want to be out there."

"You can get out in a few days. Just be good."

"I got Nurse Ugly too."  
Jiraiya tapped him on the shoulder. "I brought you a present." He handed Kakashi his own copy of Icha-Icha Paradise – worn and loved. The back cover was slightly scorched from a battle a few years back, and there was water damage, but it was his favorite book.

"Thanks," Kakashi said. "That will help. Orochimaru and a ninja named Kiria want a set, by the way."

"Orochimaru liked my books?" Jiraiya asked.

"I told him and Kiria I'd bring them an autographed set."

"You want to go back?" Jiraiya asked, shock evident on his face.

"Of course I don't want to go back," Kakashi said. "I like the village, but Orochimaru's a dick. He has a plan that happens to coincide with what would be good for Konoha, and he wants me to be a part of it."

"Our goal is to keep you away from Orochimaru. Why would we let you go to him voluntarily?"

"I'm not going until after I defeat the curse mark's influence. When I return it's as a Konoha ninja on a mission."

"I admire your dedication, but I have to tell you I don't see this happening. You're our strongest ninja. We can't afford to lose you to the Sound."

"You won't. By the time I'm ready to go I'll be able to spit in his face if I wanted to. That's kind of a fantasy of mine right now."

"I'm glad you have something to strive for. Keep working toward that if you want."

Kakashi waited impatiently for the next two days, and when Jiraiya finally came to get him he felt a puppy-like sense of excitement. They had to wait until four a.m. for security reasons. Tsunade didn't want o risk a villager recognizing the symptoms of Orochimaru's mark. Sasuke had given in, so he had a relatively easy time, but the whole village had watched Anko waste away until she finally overcame the mark.

"I can't wait to get out of here," he said. "I've seen more hospital than I ever want to see again."

Jiraiya pulled a wheelchair into the room. "Hop in then. We'll get going."

"I'll walk," Kakashi said. "My leg's doing better. Tsunade fixed all the actual damage. Once I train with it for a few months it should be as good as new. I'll always have a limp, but I don't care about that."

Jiraiya tapped the chair. "Not yet. I never trust your own assessment of your body."

"I'm tired of being treated like an invalid," Kakashi said.

"You are an invalid," Jiraiya said. "I know that's hard to accept, but for now you have to let me take care of you. You have orders, remember."

"I remember my orders," Kakashi said. "I can walk that far. It's only across town."

"Do you think you can make it up the hill?" Jiraiya asked. "It's steep."

"I want to try," Kakashi said. "It's important to me. I feel trapped in my own body right now."

Kakashi usually took the walk for granted, but that night he enjoyed everything about it. He wished he could have seen the village during the day, when the storefronts were open and full of life, but he still enjoyed the echo of their shoes on the cobblestone streets. He wished it wasn't marred by the uneven "clink" of his cane, but he couldn't have everything.

It was a cool winter night, perfectly made for enjoyment. Even in January he only needed a light coat, and he felt the breeze whip his hair. He'd always enjoyed being outdoors, and tonight he savored the feeling of being home. Konoha only had a few weeks of deep freeze, and he loved the weather here. There was a reason it was called the Fire Country, and that wasn't just because of the volcano.

He pictured the Sound village buried in snow. Picturesque, yes, but not his idea of where he'd want to live. Kiria came to mind, but he put thoughts of her aside. His friendship with her wasn't high on his priority list right now. He couldn't let Konoha down, which meant he was going back to the Sound, but tonight belonged to Konoha. He didn't owe her anything anyway.

Even as he thought it he knew it wasn't true. He didn't owe her anything for killing her brother, but he had accepted her brother's room and he knew she expected him to fill Sil's place on her team and in her life. He owed her something because he'd accepted that role.

He'd always wanted a sister. He hated that he had to find one in the Sound.

His mark tingled, and he felt affection there, and a _feeling _of being with Kiria. It wasn't something he could quantify, just a remembrance of her devotion in the hospital, her intensity. He'd been impressed with her devotion and strength, and he knew she was impressed with his.

He knew it wasn't her sending the feelings to him, or even Orochimaru. It was just his own feelings sent back to him.

"You're quiet," Jiraiya said.

"I was just thinking about someone I left in the Sound," Kakashi said. "I guess it's because she was the only person I connected with, but we got close when I was there. Did Tsunade tell you about Kiria?"

"Some Sound chick? Did you get a girlfriend up there?"

"No. It's complicated. Orochimaru has decided I'm going to be a Sound ninja and she's going to be my teammate. She's a good woman. If it wasn't for her I'd be dead."

"She's a Sound ninja, Kakashi. I think Orochimaru confused you while you were up there."

"I'm not confused," Kakashi said, "and I'm getting tired of you and Tsunade hinting that I'm going to go rogue. She's someone I'd love to serve with here, but I'd kill her if ordered to. She'd kill me if Orochimaru ordered her to do it. We're ninjas. I don't think either of us is going to ever forget our duty."

"Why does this woman mean so much to you?"

"Kabuto helped me because Orochimaru wanted him to. Orochimaru just wants me for strategic purposes. Kiria was dealing with me because she was on a mission, but we connected. Out of all the people I met there, she was the only one that I ever felt saw me as Kakashi instead of Orochimaru's latest toy."

"I always thought Orochimaru preferred his toys younger," Jiraiya said.

Kakashi gave him a dark look. "Don't joke about that – ever."

"Why, what happened?"

"Nothing I want to talk about. He's a nasty old man – that's enough."

"Kakashi, did he…"

"Not quite. I don't want to talk about it. If anything keeps me from going over to him, it's that memory. He might have done Konoha a favor."

The look on Jiraiya's face angered him. _Don't you dare pity me,_ Kakashi thought.

They reached the hill, and Kakashi reluctantly admitted to himself that he should have come in the wheelchair. He began to make his way up the steep hill, trying to keep from showing the weakness he was beginning to feel in his leg.

He was glad Jiraiya didn't offer to help him. He wanted to see how far he could make it. He set his eyes on Jiraiya's house, on the top of the hill. It didn't feel like it was getting any closer. His leg didn't hurt much; it just didn't feel like it would hold him up much longer. He'd have to remember to train on an incline.

He was barely moving forward by the time they'd moved halfway up the hill. Jiraiya didn't say anything, but when they reached a bench under a cherry tree the old Sanin sat and stretched.

"You can keep going if you want, but I'm going to enjoy the night for a while," Jiraiya said.

Kakashi sat next to him, grateful that Jiraiya didn't point out his weakness. One thing he'd always liked about Jiraiya was that they could just sit together. As much as Jiraiya loved to talk, he knew the value of silence.

Kakashi leaned back, stretching his legs and looking up at the moon through the bare branches of the tree. The wind moved through the branches, stirring it and making a soft, comforting sound.

There were only a few gnarled pine trees in the Sound village. It was above the tree line, and the only things that could fight the rough environment were the old pines and the tough people.

"I missed trees," Kakashi said. "There's something about a place without trees that doesn't feel right."

"Yeah. I get that," Jiraiya said.

They sat enjoying the village. A night guard wandered by, and Jiraiya and Kakashi identified themselves. Jiraiya wasn't concerned with him recognizing Kakashi's condition in this light.

He decided to wait until Kakashi was ready to move on. As long as they were moving before dawn there wasn't a problem.

He heard a snort and looked over to see Kakashi's head hanging back over the bench, his eyes closed.

_That looks uncomfortable, _he thought. He was letting Kakashi push himself tonight, because tomorrow he would be a different type of prisoner. He'd feel happy to get out of the hospital for a few days, but then he'd begin to chafe under the restraint.

Kakashi began to have sleep restlessness again, moving and making sounds, and Jiraiya woke him. "I'm getting tired," Jiraiya said. "You ready to head on home?"

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "That sounds like a good idea." He stood, but his leg wouldn't hold him. He returned to the bench, looking away from Jiraiya.

"Fuck this," he said.

Jiraiya hooked his arm through Kakashi's, supporting him. "We have family for a reason, kid."

He helped Kakashi up the hill, noticing that Kakashi wouldn't look him in the face. He left Kakashi leaning on the house so he could open the door, and when he turned back he saw Kakashi's face in the porch light. The determination he'd seen earlier was gone. Kakashi's visible eye was dull and lifeless.

"Don't let it get to you," Jiraiya said. "You've been injured before, and you always get depressed. It always gets better. I don't know why you never remember that."

"He's waiting for me," Kakashi said. "He wants to take me, and unless I'm strong enough to fight he'll change me like he did Sasuke. My survival depends on fighting him, and I can't even walk up a hill."

"I don't think it's your body that has to do the fighting this time," Jiraiya said. "I don't know much about Anko's experiences, but Sasuke was tempted by things he wanted and feared. It's your soul that will be fighting him."

"The soul is weak when the body is weak," Kakashi said, quoting his sensei.

"You'll be stronger soon enough," Jiraiya said. "This lasted over a year with Anko. You have time."

Kakashi didn't tell him that part of the feeling of hopelessness he was feeling emanated from his mark.

"Thanks for letting me stay," he said, and wandered painfully toward the guest room.

Jiraiya never slept a full night. About ten years ago he'd developed the habit of waking about 2 a.m. every night, having a snack, and going back to sleep. He didn't know why; it was just how his body worked. The jutsu he used to stay looking young didn't keep him from aging inside. He was an old man in all but appearance.

He went to the kitchen and found Kakashi at the table with a cup of tea. He looked at Jiraiya with the same red eye and lost look Jiraiya had seen in the hospital.

"Dreams?" Jiraiya asked.

Kakashi just nodded.

He almost offered Kakashi sleeping pills, but he didn't know if it was a good idea. He was obviously depressed. If he didn't sleep in a few days, Jiraiya would give him one, but he'd keep the bottle hidden. If Kakashi did decide to kill himself that was at least one avenue he wouldn't have.

Jiraiya made them both some toast. He wanted to see if Kakashi was still eating. Kakashi ate slowly, with obvious disinterest.

"I'm going back to sleep," Jiraiya said. "You should at least try. You can't get stronger without sleep."

When he woke Kakashi was already in the back training. Jiraiya had three acres of training field, and he found Kakashi near the house doing calisthenics. He watched the awkward motions, so different from his usual style.

"How's it going?" he asked.

Kakashi stopped and drank some water. "Not great. This is going to take a lot of work."

"You can do it," Jiraiya said.

"Thanks. I'll get this. I've never given up on anything yet, and I won't now."

"I'm going out to the garden. You want to come?" Jiraiya asked.

"Sure." Jiraiya's "garden" was really a small frog pond with a few lawn chairs and a pier for fishing. They could see the Uchiha compound from the garden. He never fished, but he liked the view and the sounds of the frogs.

Kakashi looked at the compound. From this distance it looked the same as it always had, but he knew that up close it was empty and rotting.

_How many children, Kakashi? _He heard Orochimaru's voice ask.

"Jiraiya, how many children do you think Itachi killed? How many loyal Konoha citizens that knew nothing about any coup?"

"I'm sure a majority of the Uchihas had no idea," Jiraiya said.

"I always thought of it as his duty," Kakashi said. "It bothered me how many innocents died, but it was for the village."

"We have to do horrible things sometimes," Jiraiya said. "The council decided what they thought was best for the village."

"He would have killed Obito, if he was still alive. Obito was one of the most loyal ninjas I ever knew."

"And if Obito thought giving his life would help the village he'd do it without hesitation. Is this something Orochimaru mentioned?" Jiraiya asked.

"Yes," Kakashi said. "It's something I've wondered about myself, but I always put it aside as one of those horrible things that just happen."

"Don't let him make you think any differently. Itachi served his village. I think it was a mistake, but sometimes decisions like this are hard to make. If the council hadn't ordered Itachi to kill them, the Uchihas would have probably taken over. It would have been a bloodbath. Konoha would have been so weakened it would have been destroyed, and the Fire Nation would have followed."

"I know," Kakashi said. "Orochimaru just likes to remind me of our faults."

"He's a manipulative man, Kakashi. Every village has its faults. I don't chose to be a Konoha ninja just because I was born here. There's a willingness to embrace others that most places don't have. We encourage our youth to live with honor and to treat each other like family."

_I saw that in the Sound too,_ Kakashi thought. _They embraced me, and Kiria lived by her own sense of honor. They wanted to accept me into their family._

"I don't think that's the difference," Kakashi said. "I think we've been deluding ourselves. I think village bonds are strong because we're family. It doesn't make us any better than the other villages. I think we've been putting too much emphasis on being better than the Sound. Maybe what really matters is just that we belong to each other."

"There's a difference between being open-minded and forgetting who you are," Jiraiya said. "They may be a wonderful village, but they're still our enemies. Don't forget that."

"I haven't," Kakashi said. "I hope someday that will change. Even Orochimaru knows that he can't take over the world without losing his village. While he was battling the rest of humanity his people would be destroyed. Every living person that could fight would turn against them, and no people can resist the weight of the five elemental countries against them."

"I had an idea that might help me," Kakashi said. "I don't know if this will work, but I used a jutsu on Sasuke."

He taught Jiraiya the technique he'd used on Sasuke to seal the mark temporarily. It would only work as long as he didn't give in to Orochimaru's urgings, and it wouldn't stop Orochimaru from trying to manipulate him, but it would help. It provided an alternative urge to Orochimaru's.

He stripped to his boxers and sat near the pond with his legs crossed under him. Jiraiya cut his own arm and began to draw symbols on Kakashi's body, trailing them onto the ground when he ran out of space.

Kakashi closed his eyes and meditated. He remembered what this had done to Sasuke, and he didn't want to see Jiraiya start the jutsu.

He felt Jiraiya's hand over the curse mark, large and warm. For a second he felt Orochimaru's impression of him, the cold slime of frog skin. Then fire consumed Kakashi inside. He felt Jiraiya's and Orochimaru's will struggle against each other. He knew their motives – Orochimaru's greed and ambition versus Jiraiya's love for his nephew. Kakashi was surprised that Jiraiya projected a strong sense of fear, and that it seemed to be helping him fight. He realized Jiraiya was afraid of losing him, and it put him into a rage.

Kakashi could see them as forms of light – a snake striking again and again at a frog. The frog shot flaming oil from its skin and leapt at the snake, but the snake avoided the frog and bit it. The frog fell back, but struck out at the snake with its tongue, impaling it. Kakashi watched the animals struggle, and then the forms faded away. The frog had a slight advantage, but he couldn't say either had truly won.

Jiraiya might not have had a clear victory, but after the light faded Kakashi felt everything the old man felt for him strongly. And then he felt the will of the village, Konoha itself reaching out to him, every citizen, and every ninja.

_Did Sasuke feel this and still abandon us? _He wondered. It was like nothing he'd ever known.

When he opened his eyes it was night, and he lay on the cold ground. His mark burned and throbbed. He saw Jiraiya lying near him.

"Jiraiya?" He shook the old man, but he didn't wake. Kakashi used a bit of chakra to form a small ball of fire in his hand, just enough to use as a light.

Blood ran down Jiraiya's face from his nose, soaking his shirt. It was dry. From the position of the moon, Kakashi thought they must have been lying there for several hours. Fortunately it wasn't cold enough for them to freeze. The day had been warm, which wasn't unusual. There were always a few weeks when the days were warm and the temperature dropped at twilight.

He checked Jiraiya's pulse and breath, and he was glad to find him alive.

"Ugh," Jiraiya moaned. "Did it work?"

Kakashi held up his hand so the fire-ball would illuminate his own shoulder. A think black circle ran around Orochimaru's mark. There were breaks and irregularities in it.

"It might have worked. The seal is there, but it looks weak. I think it will help, but I'm not sure."

"Then I failed," Jiraiya said. "I'm sorry kid."

"It was a shot in the dark anyway," Kakashi said. "Nothing is going to work on me like it did on children. Their bodies were still forming; they adapt and heal more easily. Mine is done growing, and I think that makes a huge difference. I appreciate what you tried to do."

"Let's talk about this in the house," Jiraiya said. "It's cold out here."

Jiraiya tried to sit up and lay down with a groan. Kakashi lifted him to a sitting position and slipped his arm around him.

"You can't do that with that leg," Jiraiya said.

"I'll get us as far as I can. It's not bad on flat terrain. My knee has trouble with inclines."

He moved them toward the house slowly. "You've gotten heavier," Kakashi said.

"This is all muscle. You're the one who changed," Jiraiya grumbled.

Kakashi knew it was likely. His uncle didn't have any extra fat on him, as far as he could tell.

He was glad he could get Jiraiya into the house, not only because he wanted to help but because it meant he could be useful again. He put Jiraiya on the couch and set at work at the fireplace.

"I don't need that," Jiraiya said. "I'll just go to bed."

"It's cold in here. A fire would go us both good."

"Don't overdo it. Tsunade would hurt me if you get a relapse."

"I'm feeling a lot better," Kakashi said. "I'm tired as hell, but I can't feel Orochimaru right now. I feel Konoha. I understand why I'm a Konoha ninja again. I belong to the land. Konoha claimed me tonight."

"I'm glad I could at least do that for you," Jiraiya said. When Kakashi had a good fire going, Jiraiya told him to go to bed.

"I'll take care of you for a change," Kakashi said.

He woke Jiraiya the next morning cheerfully.

"Damn all you morning people," Jiraiya said.

"I made breakfast – fish, rice, and pickled vegetables. It's your favorite."

"That mark must have been half of what was making you so weak. I can try again later."

"No. You bled too much last night. I don't want you trying again. If the seal doesn't hold I'll just have to deal without it. For now I'm just enjoying the freedom. I slept like a log last night."

When Tsunade came to check on Kakashi she was happy to see how well he was doing. His eye looked alive again, and his posture was more erect. Except for the loss of weight and silver cast to his skin he could almost look like her Scarecrow again.

"What happened to you?" she asked. "You look better."

He told her about the seal. "You should probably look at Jiraiya," he told her. "He was bleeding from the nose enough to soak his shirt."

"Why didn't someone come get me?" she asked.

"It didn't occur to me. It wasn't enough to kill him. I've seen enough blood loss to know when someone is in danger, and he just needed to be warm and rest."

She rolled her eyes. "Men. Where is he?"

"He was at the garden."

They found him on the fishing pier, stretched out and sleeping peacefully. He was surrounded by small frogs that jumped into the water at their approach. He woke and grinned up at them.

"Nice view," he said, ogling Tsunade's breasts over him.

She knelt by him, ignoring his tease. She checked him quickly. "You're fine. I'm glad you two found something to help."

Kakashi walked her to the door. "Once you've gained some weight and we can get your skin back to normal you might be able to get out some. I found the files on Anko's condition. They're sparse; no one cared enough to keep detailed reports."

"It was wrong how she was treated."

"It was. I regret how harsh we were to her. If she didn't have you and Kurenai she probably wouldn't have made it."

"She didn't really let me in," Kakashi said. "She always wanted to be with me, but she wasn't the type to tell me personal things."

"You did something for her. The reports record that she called for you, Kurenai, and Orochimaru when she was delirious. It was used against her in the court of inquest that she called for Orochimaru, but the fact that she wanted two Konoha ninjas was held in her favor."

"I never knew," he said.

"Her charts said she had a several good spells and relapses. This probably isn't over. Sasuke had relatively little difficulty with the mark, but that was probably because almost from the beginning he wanted the power Orochimaru could give him. Anko had seizures, severe depression, and suicidal tendencies."

"She didn't have the seal though," Kakashi said. "I can feel Konoha in me. It will help."

"Let's hope so," she said.

"As long as I don't give in the seal will hold, at least partly. It's not as strong as the one I made for Sasuke, but it is working. That's what matters."

"I'll check with you tomorrow. I hate to tell you this, but Anko's good spells rarely lasted more than a day or two in the early months."

"I'll take what I can," he said.

"I have something for you. Someone thought you might need a bit of cheering up," she said, handing him Naruto's letter.

Dere Kakashi,

Tsunade though you mite need a letter to chere you up. I hope your doing good. Sakura hit Sai for saying something mean, but I don't think he ment it. He dusn't know any better. When you git out well get ramen. I'll pay. You wer a gud teacher and you are a gud frend. Get well soon.

Kakashi laughed. "That's one original kid."


	5. Chapter 5

Jiraiya wanted to spar that day. "Let's see how you're doing."

Kakashi couldn't land a single hit, but he was more energetic, using his good leg to compensate as much as possible. He finally got tired of losing continuously and created a clone, leaping from the ground and pulling Jiraiya down into it.

"That's cheating," Jiraiya said, but he still laughed.

Kakashi shrugged. "I'm a ninja. I cheat occasionally."

Despite Tsunade's dismal predictions, Kakashi kept his good spirits. He began to annoy Jiraiya, chattering happily and complaining that he was well enough to leave the house.

Jiraiya enjoyed his reports more to Tsunade. "He managed to throw me the other day. His leg is stronger, and he's training most of the day now. He's eating like a horse."

"I saw that he's gaining weight," she said. "He hasn't had any more bad spells this week?"

"Not one. He's been sleeping well. His skin still looks wrong. Did you ever figure out why that is?"

"No. There isn't any organ damage. I can't find any real reason for the problem. Anko had the same thing. The files don't say how she got rid of the skin condition."

"He wants to get out. Is there any way you can let him at least get out some? He's driving me nuts."

"He still has too many symptoms. That color to his skin is just like Anko's, and if he were to have a seizure in the middle of the village someone might recognize what's happening. Even Sasuke had two. He could see Naruto," she said. "I love him, but he's not that smart, and he's been over here almost every day asking if Kakashi can see anyone yet. If you take him over while it's dark you should be able to avoid meeting people. Pick a dark night."

Kakashi lost the ecstatic nature of his temporary recovery, but he still felt better than before. The dreams returned, but their intensity had lessened. When Jiraiya told him they could go to Naruto's apartment he was glad to get out.

When Naruto opened the door Kakashi had to fend off another hug. He hadn't minded in the hospital, because he was still fucked up in his head, but he didn't enjoy hugs in general. They were effeminate in his opinion.

The room was dark, and Naruto held a flashlight. "Oy Kakashi!" Naruto said. "Are you better now?"

"Not yet," he said. "Tsunade doesn't know I'm here. Don't tell anyone," he lied. Naruto could keep a secret, but it would be easier if he thought they were being sneaky.

"You're not going to get hurt again, are you?"

"No. I just did too much too soon last time. She got mad at me and put me on house arrest. I don't think it was as bad as she does."

"You never do," Jiraiya said.

Kakashi flicked a light switch, but the apartment stayed dark. "Did you forget to pay the light bill?" he asked.

"I couldn't afford it. My rent got raised too much, and it was either pay the rent or pay for the lights. That damn landlord still holds the Kyuubi against me."

"I can help you out," Kakashi said. "There's no reason for you to live in the dark."

"I don't really need it," Naruto said. "I have a Coleman stove, and I go to the diner down the street if I need to do any reading or paperwork at night."

Kakashi activated his Sharingan, looking around the dingy apartment. "New furniture?" he asked, taking in the barely functional thrift store finds.

"Yeah. I got broken into again when I was on my last mission. I don't keep any sensitive information here, so it's not that big a deal. They busted up my things, so I had to get new stuff. The Goodwill always has something."

Graffiti covered the walls. Kakashi saw the hateful words on the wall; monster, die, fuck you, and other words said why his apartment had been defaced. This had happened before. He'd offered numerous times to let Naruto live with him, but it was too important to Naruto that he take care of himself. It was something he wouldn't bend on.

"You'll have to repaint again," Jiraiya said. "I'll come over tomorrow and help you."

Kakashi spent his time trying not to show his anger at Naruto's treatment. He knew Naruto didn't like people focusing on his abuse. One the walk home he felt more bitter.

"I don't understand why he lets people treat him like that," Kakashi said. "I've never been able to teach that kid self-respect."

"No, he has that," Jiraiya said. "He just doesn't want to change how he lives. He's always been the type to live on his own money. It's important to him."

"We did him wrong, Jiraiya. All of us did him wrong. I wasn't any better when he was a kid. I may not have persecuted him, but until I had to decide which team to put him on I didn't care that he was the village pariah. I might as well have been punishing him too."

"I understand. What's done is done. We're doing the best we can now."

"He saved the village several times. He's taken A-rank missions twice. How can Konoha treat one of its top ninjas like this?"

Kakashi's mark throbbed again, and he felt Jiraiya's seal offer him comfort. He stopped and meditated, allowing himself to calm down.

"Is it getting to you again?" Jiraiya asked.

"Yes. There are three things I've always had trouble forgiving my own village for; my father's death, Naruto's childhood, and the Uchiha massacre. When I think of those things it's hard not to be bitter, and the mark just feeds that problem. I think it waits for a chance. It ambushes me."

"Do you feel better now?"

"Yes. No. I don't know. I just want to get back to the house right now. I feel sour."

They walked home in silence, Kakashi stewing in his own mind. He felt the dual urges of the mark and the seal, and he knew he'd have to choose between them. He couldn't sleep, and he sat on the couch thinking. He tried to remember how he'd dealt with the temptations to be bitter when he was younger, but he excuses he'd used felt shallow now.

The mark spoke so loudly he could almost hear it physically. Obito's face and Naruto's horrid living conditions screamed for attention. He could almost smell his father's blood on the floor.

Hate filled him; hate for every person who feared and hated Naruto, hate for every person who made his father kill himself, and hate for the council who pushed Itachi to kill his own family.

_Konoha killed them, _Orochimaru's voice said. _You belong to a village that killed your father and a clan of innocent people. You know most of the Uchihas weren't guilty._

He felt the pull of the seal, but the mark was stronger. Hate overcame him, and his will slipped. He felt the seal give way and snap like a rubber band. He could see his reflection in the stainless-steel fridge, and he watched as a purple stain spread up his neck and partly across his face.

Now that he saw the consequences of his actions, he felt frightened. _Get out of me! _He thought.

_But Kashi-kun, you want this. This is how you've always felt, isn't it?_

_No, it's not! Get the fuck out, Orochimaru._

The mark continued spreading, covering half his face and turning his good eye purple. He fought against the mark, and a sensation like electric shock hit him. He fell, glad to finally lose consciousness. His last thought was that if he was lucky he'd die.

Jiraiya heard a scream, and ran to the kitchen. He found Kakashi seizing on the floor, a small amount of blood coming from his mouth. He ran to find Tsunade.

When they'd returned the seizure had run its course, but he was still unconscious.

"Get me a cold washcloth," she said. She put it over his forehead and healed his tongue. "It's not bitten too badly. These types of seizures are rarely fatal. He'll be confused when he wakes, and he'll need to sleep until he's well rested."

She pulled his eyelid up, seeing only the purple eye. She touched the mark spreading over his face. "This happened with Sasuke, but not with Anko."

Jiraiya pulled Kakashi's shirt off, and they saw that the mark covered his shoulder and part of his chest. The seal was gone, leaving a faint scar in its place.

"He gave in," Jiraiya said sadly. "He was ranting about how Konoha had hurt Naruto earlier. I shouldn't have taken him over there."

"We're not done here yet," Tsunade said. "We all have times when we're angry at the people we love."

As they watched, the mark retreated, returning to its usual size. Kakashi's eye fluttered and he opened it. He put his hand to his head and groaned.

Tsunade put her chakra into his head. She thought it was probably just a headache, but she wanted to check. She pulled back with a gasp.

"He's fighting me!" she said.

"What are you doing?" Jiraiya asked Kakashi. "Let her work."

"I've had my fill of Hokage's invading me," Kakashi said.

"You know I just want to help you," Tsunade said. "That damn mark is influencing you."

"You should quit trying to fix broken tools, Tsuande-sama. Eventually a tool that's been mended too many times should be discarded."

"You don't mean that," Jiraiya said. "Focus on what you know to be true. You know how much we care about you."

"I know," Kakashi said. "I've just been really stressed. Naruto is still being treated like shit for no reason, and we aren't doing anything to make it better."

"Naruto won't let anyone help him with his living situation," Jiraiya said. "We can't make him help himself. He's not in danger."

"I'm fighting the mark," Kakashi said. "It was just a temporary lapse. I don't hate Konoha. I just did for a couple minutes, and that was enough for him to get to me. It won't happen again."

"Then will you let me heal you?" she asked, placing her hand on his head.

"Yes, Hokage-sama. I'm sorry for being rude to you. I know how much you two are trying to help me."

She healed him and prescribed bed rest and lots of fluids. He tried to sleep, but the dreams bothered him again.

Breakfast was tasteless again. He felt like he'd lost all the progress he'd made. His body was stronger, but his mind was as bad as it had been before.

"You could let me try the seal again," Jiraiya said. "It at least helped. I might be able to do it better this time."

"Or it might hurt you more," Kakashi said. "It's my own fault it didn't work. I could feel its influence."

"I have the same anger you do toward Naruto's treatment and Sakumo's death," Jiraiya said. "I learned to put it behind me, and you did too. If you can keep your head and remember how much you love your village you might be able to fight the mark."

"I hope so. I'll try."

"I promised Naruto I'd go over and help him with the apartment today. Will you be ok on your own?"

"I'll be fine. I'm going to take it easy and read today."

The house was quiet with Jiraiya gone. Kakashi couldn't get into his book or any of the dozens scattered around Jiraiya's living room. He sat on the couch, filled with guilt and disbelief at the way he'd felt toward a place and people that loved him.

_I might really turn, _he thought with a shock. It was something he'd accepted, but to have it actually on the horizon frightened him.

_I should end this before I endanger the people I love,_ he thought. He'd decided to accept death in this eventuality, but now that he had to consider actually doing it he found it hard to commit.

The truth was that he wanted to live. His will to live had kept him alive for so long, and now he just couldn't give up. All he had to do was go to the kitchen and get a knife. It would be easy.

He didn't want to go out like his father. Jiraiya would come home to find him bleeding on the floor, just like his father. Even though it wasn't Jiraiya's fault, he'd always feel guilt. If he was going to do this he'd have to make it look like an accident.

He felt the urge to live again, and the mark encouraged him. _Fuck off, Orochimaru. This is my decision, not yours._

He sat on the couch trying to decide how to do it. Jiraiya wasn't easy to fool, and Tsunade was no naïve person.

His thoughts were interrupted by a slight sound in his bedroom. If he hadn't been sitting quietly he probably wouldn't have noticed it – just a quiet rustle of clothing. It had to be a person in his room.

_They're going to do it for me,_ he thought with relief. Tsunade had sent an assassin. He hoped she didn't take this too hard.

_I wonder who she picked? _He hoped it wasn't an ANBU or Jounin he knew. She probably would have sent one of the younger ANBU, someone who was after his time with the corps.

He laid his head back over the couch and relaxed, trying to appear as if he was asleep. He closed his eyes and waited, feeling a sense of peace. Soon there would be no more pain – not more fighting a losing battle. It went against his instincts to expose his jugular purposely, but he wanted the killer to have a clear mark. A clean cut would mean less pain. He wished he had his mask on when he died, but it was too late for that now.

Kakashi felt the flat edge of a knife pressed against his Adam's apple. He accepted death and waited for it.

?

_Dammit, he's hesitating,_ he thought.

He kept his eyes closed. He didn't want to put a face to his killer. "Complete your mission and go home," he said. "There's no shame in following orders."

The knife moved away from his throat.

"I was just fucking with you," he heard.

"Anko?" he asked. "They chose you? I'm surprised."

"No one chose me for anything. I broke in here to see you. I was playing knife-tag, like when we were kids."

"You weren't sent to kill me?" he asked.

"Of course not! You were just going to sit there and die?"

"I might as well. It's past time. Why would you break in here just to see me?"

"Because I know he marked you," she said. "Why didn't you come to me?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said. "I've been sick, and I'm not getting better. I might not get better."

"I know what I felt last night. My mark reacted for the first time since I was a kid, and I knew someone else in Konoha had been marked. I wondered who it might have been, and I thought of how you smelled like snake and wouldn't come out in public."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said.

"You've done your duty and kept it quiet. I'm here to help you," she said.

"I'm just sick, Anko. You're letting your imagination run away with you."

"I didn't want to do this," she said. She jumped on him, straddling him and holding his wrists to his legs with her thighs.

Anko, what the hell?" Kakashi asked as he struggled against her.

"A Chunin could beat you right now," she said. "I bet you weren't this weak before last night, were you?"

"Anko, get off!"

She pulled her knife again.

"First you're not going to kill me; now you're going to kill me. Make up your mind."

"I'm not going to kill you," she said. She pulled his shirt away from his chest and cut it open. She pulled it open, exposing the mark.

"Were you ordered to keep this a secret, or do you not trust me?"

"This is top security," Kakashi said. "If you leave now and keep it to yourself I won't report you."

"Report me; fuck if I care. I want to know. Do you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you. Tsunade was afraid being near you might set off your mark. I'm under house arrest until this is finished."

"You've already been around me now," she said. "We know our marks aren't going to interact negatively. I want to help. You helped me."

"Thank you, but it might be too late. I let him get to me earlier. I reached the second stage."

She put her hand over his mark. He felt her affection for him, her dedication, and something he hadn't expected. He felt a strong sense of love there, and it wasn't platonic.

He knew why she looked at him with fear in her eyes. She'd never let on that she loved him.

"I didn't know you felt that way," he said.

"I should have told you when I was a kid. I've loved you since you didn't let me give in to Orochimaru. I just couldn't bring myself to say it. I've never had another real relationship except with him, and he hurt me so badly I didn't want to have another man, ever."

"Wait, by "have another man", do you mean what I think you mean?"

"Of course I do. Has he taken you yet? He's rough. Did he hurt you?"

"No," Kakashi said. "He tried. I think the only reason he didn't force me is because he has other plans for me. I can't believe he did that to you. You were just a little kid!"

"He's an evil man. Kakashi, I don't care what you two have between you. I love you."

"There's nothing between us, Anko. I'm trying to overcome his mark, and then I'm going back to the Sound on a mission. I don't want anything he offers me. If I ever have anything to do with him again it will be to help Konoha."

"I took a chance letting you know how I feel," she said. "I need to know what you think about it. If you don't want me, tell me."

"I do want you, Anko. I've wanted you for a long time. You always rejected me when I was single. Why were you only interested when I was dating someone?"

"I didn't want you to say yes. I felt like I had to say something, but if you accepted me it would mean I'd have to have a relationship, and that scared me."

_That's fucked up, _Kakashi thought.

"And you're not scared now?" he asked.

"I'm scared shitless. I just can't let this go any longer. When I knew you were marked I had to tell you."

"I'm glad you did," he said. "The next time Orochimaru tries to get me I'll have you to think of now."

"So do you feel up to making love?" she asked. Kakashi was reminded again of how much she thought like a guy. Anko had a one track mind.

"I just went from having a seizure, to being ready to die, to having a beautiful woman hold me in a tantalizing S & M position. Of course I want to make love. I don't think I'm really up to it tonight."

She stood up. "I see. That's a very kind way of brushing me off. I'll leave now."

"Wait. That's not what I meant. Stay with me."

"But you said…"

"Just stay with me. We can make love tomorrow, or the next day. I'm not going anywhere."

"I can do that. It's late. Do you want to go to bed?"

He gave her one of his shirts to sleep in. She was a foot shorter than him, so it hung much more modestly than her usual outfits. Still, there was something about a woman wearing one of his shirts that was incredibly sexy.

She held the bottom of the shirt as she climbed into bed.

"What are you doing?" Kakashi asked. "I remember when you mooned the whole academy class and flashed the Hokage. Are you getting shy?"

"I'm nervous," she said.

"I've never known you to be nervous about anything."

"I've been thinking about this for so long. I've never been shy with a guy before."

He ran his fingers down her face, touching her lips. "We already know each other every other way. This won't change anything."

He yawned. "I'd love to talk more, but I really am worn out."

He fell asleep quickly, but she lay watching him. The situation wasn't really any different than times they'd slept together on the field, with the exception that tomorrow they would be having sex. Her stomach churned as she watched him. She'd waited since she was a child for this, and she was sure she was going to fuck it up.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jiraiya came back late. Naruto's apartment had to be almost completely repainted, and then he wanted to stay and talk with Naruto. Even though he always pretended the break-ins didn't bother him, Jiraiya could tell they did.

As soon as he came in the house he could tell something was wrong. There was a subtle difference in the house - something missing. Or something new.

He pulled a kunai and stood, listening and looking for what was different. He wished his nose worked better, but all he could smell was the paint on his clothes.

Then he realized what was different. Kakashi's door was cracked slightly and he heard the sounds of two people snoring – one loudly and one quietly.

He looked into the room and saw Kakashi and a woman in the bed. Her back was to him. She had dark hair, but other than that he couldn't make out her features.

"Psst. Kakashi," he whispered. "Get out here."

He saw them both stir. Kakashi put his hand on her shoulder. "Stay here," he said. "I'll be back."

Kakashi closed the door behind him gently, trying to make as little noise as possible. He knew Anko wasn't asleep. It was just a habit he'd developed over the years. Women could be cranky when they woke.

"This is a serious security breach," Jiraiya said. "What were you thinking, bringing a woman in here?"

"I didn't bring her in. She broke in."

"So an intruder came in the house and you got her into bed? I'd appreciate the skill that must have taken, but this is really the wrong time."

"It's Anko. She knew I was marked and broke in here to confront me."

"And you told her?"

"Not exactly. She took matters into her own hands. She held me down and cut my shirt off. She's seen it. She wants to help."

"Did your marks react at all? That's what we were concerned about with her."

"It reacted to her the same was it reacted to everyone else. I could feel how she sees me – how she feels. It didn't reflect Orochimaru's feeling s. I didn't know it, but she loves me."

"Another complication. Now what?"

"I don't know. She's not going to be one of my sport fucks. I know that. She's always been one of my best friends. Whatever we have has to be something real."

"Friends with benefits usually means ex-friends with bitterness, in my experience," Jiraiya said.

"Yeah. I'm not good at relationships, but I'll do the best I can with her."

Anko smiled. She'd put her ear to the door, and even thought they tried to keep their voices low, she had heard everything. She jumped back into bed before he came in the room. When he lay down she cuddled up to him.

"I take it you're not nervous anymore," he asked.

"I don't have any reason to be," she said. She kissed him, fulfilling so many dreams.

"Get lots of rest," she said. "You'll need it tomorrow night."

He spent the day training, and thinking about the growing pain under his shoulder. Whatever gave him relief didn't last very long.

He purposely worked his shoulder to cause it more pain. It didn't make any sense, and he knew it, but it almost felt like causing himself pain there hurt Orochimaru. He knew it didn't; he just wanted to hurt someone.

It wasn't enough. Jiraiya wasn't around, so he was free to do what he wanted. He had to find a way to end this torture. Now he was about to involve Anko in his problems as well as Jiraiya and Tsunade.

He sat at the pier, listening to the frogs and trying to decide what to do. Waiting wasn't working, and fighting wasn't really getting him anywhere.

A sense of comfort reached him, a feeling he had learned to associate with the mark.

_I'm telling you, you need to stop this, _Kakashi thought. _I'll end this if you push me too far._

The mark burned. He felt it throb and grow hot to the touch.

_When did it become so hot out here?_

He pulled off his shirt and lay on the pier. He always trained barefoot, and he put his feet in the cool water.

"Kakashi, what are you doing?" Jiraiya asked.

"I thought you were gone," Kakashi said.

"Yeah. I came back. What are you doing?"

"It's hot out here," Kakashi said. "The mark's been giving me trouble."

"Can you walk?" Jiraiya said. "It's about 40 degrees out here. If you're that hot you must have a strong fever."

A sense of malaise filled him. "I'm fine here," he said. "It's comfortable enough."

Jiraiya pulled him into the house and put him in his bed. "I'm going to get Tsunade. You look like hell again, and your skin is worse than it's been since you came back."

_He's going to get an assassin. You should get out of here._

His gear sat in a corner, and he could see his weapons lying on top of his pack. He got his kunai, having to crawl because of dizziness.

Kakashi sat against the wall and looked at the mark, hateful and burning. "One of us won't make it through this," he said.

He cut deeply into the mark, making sure not to hit anything vital. If possible he didn't want to die, but he knew no one had ever tried to cut the mark out.

_It's just three spots, _he thought. He cut around the first one and under it. He pulled a large plug of skin and tissue and threw it from him.

"How do you like that, Orochimaru? Do you want some more?"

He laughed hysterically as he pushed the knife in again. He stopped as the pain and blood loss claimed him.

"Oh no. I'm not done yet, you bastard."

He grasped the kunai firmly, pushing it as deeply as he dared and cutting a hole in himself. When he pulled the plug out the amount of blood gushing from the two holes made the knife slippery, and he dropped it.

He retrieved the knife and was about to continue when a hand grabbed his wrist. "Drop it!" Jiraiya said. He'd been so involved in what he was doing he hadn't even noticed Jiraiya and Tsunade enter the room.

Kakashi snarled at him. "I'm done with this! If he thinks he can make me his bitch he has a surprise coming."

Tsunade slapped him across the face. The unexpected attack stunned him enough for Jiraiya to get the kunai away from him. "Get a blood pill and some bandages," she said.

She put her hands on the wounds, applying pressure. "Dammit you little fucking idiot! You're going to bleed out. If you survive this I'm going to save Orochimaru the trouble and kill you myself."

He laughed. "I hurt him. I could feel it. He felt that."

"It doesn't do us any good if you die, idiot," she said.

Jiraiya opened his mouth and put a pill in, breaking it. Kakashi felt the warm, slippery oil in his mouth, and he recognized the coppery taste of a blood replenishing pill.

"That's right. Keep me alive. I'll get the last one later. I'll be free of him as soon as I can get a knife again."

Tsunade performed a few quick hand signs and put her hand over his mouth. "That's enough out of you," she said, performing a jutsu.

Kakashi found that he couldn't talk. He settled for glaring at her. He didn't want her interfering with him.

She finished with him. He still glared at her.

Jiraiya picked up the knife. "We should tie him until he gets over this." He got a rope and tried to tie Kakashi's hands, but adrenaline and anger had given him strength for the moment.

"O sure, now you manage to stay conscious," Jiraiya said. He managed to get Kakashi's hands behind his back and secure them. The ankles were easier. He lifted Kakashi and dropped him roughly on the bed. As they watched him they could tell when the adrenaline wore off. The crazed look left his eye and it drooped, half-open.

"If I remove the jutsu will you talk to me?" Tsunade asked. "I don't want to hear ranting."

He nodded. When she removed her technique she asked him, "what happened? Treat this as a mission report. I want details."

"Orochimaru attacked me again. I guess I lost it. I'm tired of being passive. When I'm healed enough we can cut the last one out. It would probably be better done with a scalpel than a kunai."

"We can try," Tsunade said. "It's a drastic way to deal with this, but you didn't manage to kill yourself yet."

The front door shook with a determined banging. "Jiraiya, let me in!" Anko screamed.

Jiraiya opened the door, and she pushed by him. She ran straight to Kakashi. "I felt it. What did you do?"

"I took matters into my own hands," he said.

She pulled the neck of her shirt down, showing her own mark. Two parts of her mark were gone, leaving only bloody holes where they had been.

"Did I hurt you too?" Kakashi asked. "I didn't know it worked that way."

"I don't think it's supposed to," Anko said. "I think we're bonded differently, because we're the only ones in Konoha."

"Jiraiya told me how you found him," Tsunade said. "I think we were wrong about how your mark would react."

"Can you untie me?" Kakashi asked. "I'm not going to do that again."

"I have to trust you," Tsunade said. "If you decide to hurt yourself I won't always be able to stop you. It might actually work."

She untied him, and he chafed his wrists to bring feeling back into them. He sat up in the bed, and she pushed him back. "I don't think so. You're on bed rest for the day, at least. I'll leave Anko as your personal guard."

Kakashi didn't miss Anko's smile, quickly replaced by a blank look. "Understood, Tsuande-sama," she said.

She waited until they left to smirk at Kakashi. "I'm supposed to be guarding you, huh? You'd better behave, or I'll have to punish you."

"I might try to escape," Kakashi said. "You never know."

"I should probably keep you distracted," she said.

She kissed and fondled him. He let her hand get into his pants, but he didn't want to mislead her. He was exhausted, and not in the mood, a rare occurrence.

"I'm not going to have the most stamina right now," he said. "We can wait for this if you want."

"We have the worst time timing," Anko said.

"I know, but I think we'll have a long time to get it right."

She waited until she was sure he was sleeping and slipped out of the bed, finding her pants but keeping Kakashi's shirt. It was the one he'd cast off when he'd decided to cut himself, and she liked being surrounded by his smell.

She went to Jiraiya's training field and lit a cigarette. Jiraiya was meditating, making a rhythmic "Ohm," that she found relaxing.

"I didn't know you smoked," he said.

"I gave it up five years ago," she said. "I only do it when I'm really stressed."

"I think I underestimated you," he said. "You managed to break into my house, break an S-class secret, and seduce Kakashi in one night."

"I didn't quite seduce him yet," she said. "I'm still working on that."

"You looked fairly entrenched in his bed last night," Jiraiya said. "I don't remember any of his "friends" wearing his shirts around the house either."

"Yeah, but he's too battered for sex right now. I waited since I was a kid; I can wait until he's stronger. I'm horny as hell though."

"Since you were a kid? I figured this was something new."

"You know he and Kurenai were the only people who gave a shit about me when I came back? Everyone else waited for me to betray Konoha. The Hokage probably only kept me alive to have a strong ninja if I turned out to be loyal. It took me attacking Orochimaru in battle before I was accepted."

"You're bitter," Jiraiya said.

"Of course I'm bitter. Who wouldn't be bitter?"

"How did you overcome the mark?" Jiraiya asked.

"I thought about Kakashi and Kurenai. I wanted to be with him, and I knew he'd only love a loyal ninja. Kurenai took care of me, and I didn't want to repay her with betrayal. I remembered what Orochimaru did to me before he abandoned me. He's not a gentle man. Kakashi has something worse than I did. Orochimaru didn't want me after I took the mark, so all I had to do was wait out the physical effects. He has to deal with that and whatever Orochimaru is using to call him."

She rubbed the mark. "This thing is hurting again. I haven't had this problem since it stopped reacting years ago."

"Let me see," Jiraiya said. The two holes that were ghosts of the ones Kakashi had cut into himself had healed. The three marks were visible again.

"This is bad," Jiraiya said. "Kakashi is going to have a fit. I hope he doesn't do something rash again."

"What's wrong?" Anko asked.

"The marks are back."

"We should tell him together," she said.

When they went to his room they found him sitting in bed and clutching the bandage on his shoulder.

Jiraiya pulled the bandage off. "The marks are back," he said.

"There's nothing that works," Kakashi said. "I can't do this for a year."

"Jiraiya, would you leave us alone?" she asked.

He stepped out of the room. She closed the door and sat on the bed. "I have an idea," she said. "Lay down."

He lay down and Anko straddled him. She pulled off her shirt.

"Seriously, Anko. I know how you feel about sex, but this is ridiculous."

"This isn't about sex. Do you remember how you could feel my emotions through the mark?"

"Yes, what are you thinking?"

"When you cut yourself earlier I started bleeding."

"I'm sorry about that," Kakashi said. "If I'd known, I never would have done that."

"Maybe we could use the mark together to fight him."

"It's his mark. I don't think that will work."

"He didn't interfere when I used mine to speak to you. I think my mark was incomplete. He's never had as much influence over me as he did over you and Sasuke. I wonder if I could use it to give you strength."

She lay on him, moving her body so that her neck lay against his shoulder, matching their marks to each other. A cooling sensation went through her burning mark, like menthol in a sore throat.

"That is better," Kakashi said. "There might be something to this."

"If I stay here you could get a good night's rest," she said.

"That sounds good to me," he said. He pulled the blanket over them. "This has got to be the oddest beginning to a relationship I've ever had."

"So we have a relationship?" Anko asked.

"You're laying on me with your shirt off. I think we could call that a relationship."

Anko was frustrated that he wouldn't give her a direct answer. It might be his perverse sense of humor. He didn't usually realize when he was taking a joke too far. Or he might not want to commit. Sure he'd offered her sex when he was better, and he'd told Jiraiya she meant more to him than a casual screw, but that didn't mean he hadn't changed his mind.

It was too much to expect him to be monogamous. He'd only done that a few times in her memory out of the dozens of women he'd dated. She wanted him to be hers, even if she had to share him. He wouldn't really admit to being in a relationship, so she needed to find a way to claim him – make him hers.

She lay on him, feeling his chest rise and fall beneath her, the warmth of his skin, the heat of his breath on her neck. He put his arms around her and rubbed her back.

"Thank you," he said. "You always come through for me."

It should have been enough. He accepted her as a woman, not just a pal. She'd had a lot of experience with men – shallow, sex and leave him experience. Until they made love she wouldn't believe he really wanted her.

He fell asleep under her, and she kept her neck in the same uncomfortable position, even when it developed a painful crick. She lay that way until he awakened at dawn.

"Anko, were you here all night?"

"I wanted to help you," she said.

"I feel better. My shoulder actually feels kind of good. It was nice waking up with you on top of me. We'll have to do that again."

She sat up reluctantly, hiding the pain in her neck. "The mark changed," she said.

She ran her finger over it, and he closed his eye and shuddered.

"I'm sorry, does that hurt?" she asked.

"No. It felt erotic. Do it again."

She brushed the mark slowly with the tips of her fingers, and he moaned. On an impulse she bent and kissed it, licking it afterwards.

"That's amazing," he said. He didn't tell her it felt just like Orochimaru had done to him. No sense ruining a good moment.

"Does my mark look different?" she asked.

"It does. The edges have expanded, and the bits look pale in the middle. I don't know what it's doing, but I think having them in close contact for so long did something."

He smirked and touched her mark. "Does it do the same thing for you that it did for me?"

Instead of answering she kissed him hungrily. "I want you," she said. Before he could say anything she crawled under the covers and pulled his sweats down. Almost before it registered to him what she was doing her mouth was on him.

He was right about the stamina issue; he only lasted about 10 minutes. She didn't care. She'd gotten what she wanted.

She finished and moved next to him, holding him tightly.

"What did I do to deserve that?" he asked.

"Just marking my territory," she said.

"I never know what to expect with you," he said. "Give me a few minutes and I'll see what I can do for you. I'm not up to much, but I'll see what I can do.

"No. You're injured. You can owe me one for now."


	6. Chapter 6

Orochimaru stormed through the village, and no one dared to stop him to ask what was wrong. When he reached his office/house he slammed the ornamental doors. "Send a summon to Kabuto," he hissed. "I couldn't find him at the hospital."

Orochimaru sat at his desk and fumed. He picked up a report on border security and tried to read it. After the fifth time trying to absorb the first page he threw it back on the desk.

He heard a tentative knock. "Enter!" he said.

"Orochimaru-sama? You called?"

"Yes, I called. Kakashi fought me, again! I almost had him the other day. He reached the second stage already, and I could feel his hate. All I had to do was feed that old hatred that he'd buried, and his mark matured."

"What happened then?" Kabuto asked.

"I don't know, but I lost him. I completely lost him. Someone interfered. I could feel it."

"Is that possible?" Kabuto asked.

"It shouldn't be. I don't know what Tsunade might have done."

"If we lose Kakashi, will we move on to Kiria's child when he's born?"

"Yes, but I want Kakashi. I want that beautiful body for my own. I need the Sharingan. I'm going to have to ramp up my attacks. If I can't get him by persuasion, I'll try force. He can't fight a year of torture. It changes my plans, but I'll have to be flexible."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kakashi knew when Orochimaru decided to attack him. He had finally gotten Jiraiya to let him out of bed and spar, to test his body. Jiraiya sent a strong kick toward Kakashi's midsection, and as he dodged it he felt the mark begin to burn again. It wasn't strong, just a fiery sensation like a bad sunburn.

He ducked and swept Jiraiya's feet out from under him, using his bad leg. He didn't think Jiraiya would expect it, and he wanted to see how the leg would perform.

"Not bad," Jiraiya said. "It's doing much better."

"It's getting there."

The mark began to throb again. Kakashi moved his arm about, feeling the influence of the mark in his shoulder. "Damn thing's acting up again."

"I guess that's it for today," Jiraiya said.

"I can't quit living every time Orochimaru wants to mess with me. Let's keep going."

"I don't know if that's a good idea," Jiraiya said.

"I have to try. I don't intend to stay like this until he gets finished. I want to go on with my life."

"If it gets worse, let me know," Jiraiya said.

Kakashi answered with a round-house kick that Jiraiya barely avoided.

"You're depending a lot on your good leg," Jiraiya said, hitting Kakashi in the chest.

Kakashi dug into the ground with his good leg, jumping back toward Jiraiya. He used an old technique to force himself not to feel pain temporarily.

Jiraiya caught his leg and flung him around, letting him go and counting on centrifugal force to carry him away.

Kakashi hit the ground running, already leaping back at Jiraiya. As he sprang back the pain broke through his jutsu and he lost his focus. Jiraiya hit him with a solid kick in the chest, and he flew back, landing on his side.

When Kakashi didn't get up Jiraiya called victory. "You ok kid? I didn't mean to go so rough on you."

"I'm fine. I'm done for the day. Damn thing's acting up too much."

He had too much pride to ask Jiraiya to find Anko. He knew she could help him, but he wanted to wait until she came back to Jiraiya's house on her own. He lay in bed with the pain getting worse, hoping she would come soon.

The mark began to spread slowly. He went into the kitchen, looking for Jiraiya.

"I think we should get Tsunade," Jiraiya said.

While he was gone Kakashi washed the mark with cool water. It wasn't enough. The mark was so hot it burned to the touch.

When Tsunade arrived he was sweating, and his face and chest were half covered with a purple rash, just like before.

"What happened?"

"It just did this. I didn't have any problems; I wasn't feeling any odd urges. We were sparing and it just started aching."

She put her hand on the mark and began to diagnose him. "I can't get past Orochimaru's attack," she said. "Where is Anko?"

"I'm not sure," Jiraiya said. "I'm surprised she isn't here now."

"I can feel her," Kakashi said. "She's having the same problems I'm having. Someone should go get her."

"Do you know where she is?" Tsunade asked.

"Not far. That's as much as I know."

Tsunade pushed at his arm with a fingernail. "Look at his skin," she said to Jiraiya said. "It's turning almost pure silver now. It actually looks metallic."

Someone pounded at the door. Gai stood there holding Anko upright. Her mark had spread over her face, covering about the same area as Kakashi's.

"I'll take her," Jiraiya said. He closed the door in Gai's face and led her to Kakashi's bed.

"Anko, you look worse than I do," he said. "Why is this affecting you worse than me?"

"I don't know. Gai had to help me get here. Orochimaru is attacking us both now."

"He's probably attacking Kakashi and you got caught with him," Tsunade said.

"Jiraiya, could you step out?" Kakashi said.

When Jiraiya was gone Kakashi pulled Anko's shirt off and lay over her, pressing his shoulder to her neck. "This worked before. We can use his own mark against him."

"It's a good thing Jiraiya didn't see this. It would be in a book for sure," Anko said.

Kakashi felt himself drained further, energy leaving him. He could feel himself giving Anko strength.

"Kakashi stop. It's too much," Anko said.

"Take what you need," Kakashi answered. "You're hurting worse than I am."

They both passed out at the same time, and Tsunade left them that way as she diagnosed them.

She stepped out of the room, closing the door quietly behind them. "They're both resting," she told Jiraiya. "Kakashi and Anko have managed to merge their marks. I don't know what those two are doing, but after they did it Orochimaru wasn't able to fight me anymore."

"Do you mean they've overcome the mark?"

"No, but I think it's mutating. You said it had changed before?"

"Yes, the edges blurred and the middle changed."

"I wouldn't be surprised to find that it's changed again," she said. "I'm going home, but I want you to call me when they wake."

Anko woke with Kakashi on top of her. _I like this, _she thought. She moved to get in a slightly more comfortable position, and she woke him.

"Good morning, or night. I've lost track," he said.

The purple splotch had faded. "Your mark looks different again," he said. "That's amazing."

"What is it?" she asked. "Lean back. I want to see yours."

The mark had rearranged itself into a circle with thin lines running through it. He ran his finger across the lines, and she closed her eyes and ground her hips against him. "Don't start anything you're not ready to finish," she said.

"I did say I was feeling energized," he said. He made love to her, hoping it was everything she wanted him to give her. He knew he was a talented lover, but he had a lot of anticipation to live up to.

"Finally," she whispered.

"You're mine," she whispered.

"For as long as you want me," he said.

"Really? You don't keep your women for long," Anko said. "I don't care. Just don't let me think it's more than it is."

"You're not a toy to me," he said. "I don't make promises I don't intend to keep. I'm not the monogamous type; you know that. But I won't be with anyone else while we're together. I'm not easy to be with; you'll probably tire of me first."

"I doubt it," she said. "I don't think you could do anything I don't already know about."

Jiraiya slide the door shut silently. He'd heard noises and thought perhaps they were having trouble again. He'd gotten an eyeful of Kakashi and Anko enjoying each other, and even though he knew he should have been discrete he couldn't help himself. He was a voyeur by nature, and those two were hot together.

He went to get Tsunade, as she'd requested. "You might want to knock first. Those two have found the oldest way to ease their stress."

"As long as they get through this I don't care if they screw each other senseless," she said.

"Good, because I think that's what's going to happen for a while at least."

When they entered the house they were greeted with sounds of love. "Would you like some tea?" Jiraiya asked, embarrassed.

"That sounds good," she said. They sat at the table sipping awkwardly, trying to pretend they weren't hearing Anko saying his name repeatedly, moaning loudly.

"I like what you've done with the place," Tsunade said.

Jiraiya noticed the blush on your cheeks. "You're looking especially lovely tonight," he said. "Would you like to go out to the garden until they're, um, finished?"

She agreed quickly. They watched the reflection of the full moon on the water, and she put her hand into his. "Love is for young people," she said.

"It doesn't have to be."

"I can't give you what you want, Jiraiya. My heart is too dry for love. I can't forget what happened to Dan."

"I don't want to replace him," Jiraiya said, "but couldn't I have some place of my own in there? I don't want much, only a corner."

"Jiraiya," she whispered, leaning close to him.

"Yes, my love?"

She put her mouth close to his ear. "That's a line from your first book."

He scratched the back of his head. "Very sorry. I wrote it thinking of you."

She kissed him lightly on the lips. "I'll think about it," she said.

"Wait, how do you know about what's in my books?"

She smiled. "A lady never gives away all her secrets. Let's go inside and see if the kids are done playing."

The house was silent, so Jiraiya tapped lightly on the door. He heard bedsprings creak and a moment later Kakashi left, leaving the light off.

"You look flushed," Jiraiya said. "I take it you've been exercising lately?"

Kakashi scratched the back of his head and grinned. "Anko and I were sparring earlier."

"Humph," Tsunade said. "Let me look at your shoulder."

"Don't touch it Tsuande-sama!" Kakashi said, but she ignored him and poked at the mark. He was relieved to find that it just reflected her concern for him. It would have been beyond disturbing if he had the same reaction he'd had with Anko.

"It's growing into a distinct shape," she said. "Is Anko's like this?"

"Yes. It seems like when Orochimaru attacks and fails the mark changes. I think we're doing something new."

She pulled a small kit from a bag. "I want a skin sample. I've never seen anyone's skin turn that color. Even Anko only reached a silvericolor. You're looking almost metallic. Do you feel well?"

He blushed bright red. "Right now I feel very well," he said.

"Well, whatever you and Anko found to deal with the situation seems to be helping. You need to put some of the weight you lost back on. I'll come by when I get the test results."

She turned to Jiraiya. "Call me if you need me. Don't let Tweedle-de and Tweedle-doesn't-take-care-of-himself keep you from getting help if you need it."

When she left Kakashi scratched at his arm absently. "That is a noticeable color," he said, looking at his arm. "I look like a piece of jewelry."

"When Anko wakes you might ask her about it. If you didn't wear her out so much she sleeps until tomorrow."

"Sorry, sorry. I guess I forgot about you and Tsunade – got caught up in the moment."

"It's ok kid. I got a kiss out of it. There's nothing to get some women feeling romantic like hearing another couple making out. It makes them think."

"She kissed you?"

"A small kiss, but it counts. I think she accidentally let it slip that she read my first book too."

"She doesn't do anything accidentally," Kakashi said.

That caught Jiraiya off guard. "You're right." He grinned widely. "That means she wanted me to know! I'm wearing her down."

When Kakashi went back to Anko she was sleeping peacefully, the blanket barely covering her ample breasts. He kissed the small injury he'd left on one. Orochimaru wasn't the only one who bit people.

She woke and blinked sleepy eyes at him. "I guess you wanted to mark your territory too? "If you're into that…" she said, and she moved her mouth toward his chest.

"Not now," he said. "I didn't notice how bad my skin is getting until I was out there in the light, but it's gotten worse in just the last hour. I'm not even sure we should be having sex right now. What if this is contagious?"

"I've already been through it," she said. "It will take care of itself."

"How?"

"If it does like mine, you'll shed. My skin turned back to normal after that."

"I'm going to shed like a snake?" he asked. "That's disgusting."

"Yeah, it is. That's why I never said anything about it. Kurenai helped me get the skin off my back and privates. It's itchy as hell."

"That sounds like something fun to look forward to," he grumbled.

"I don't know why it did like that, but after I shed Orochimaru wasn't able to bother me much. I think it's finally getting his poison out. I'll help you."

"Thanks, Anko. I don't know what I'd do without you right now."

She talked him into making love again, after convincing him that she wasn't worried about the skin problem. "I'd take bad skin tone as an STD to be with you," she said, and kissed him.

Kakashi slept heavily, sated and happy. Tomorrow would bring its own problems, but for tonight he had the full attention of a nympho, and that wasn't something to be wasted. When they were together Orochimaru couldn't reach him, and that added to the enjoyment. Together they were free.

He woke about four to an odd sensation coming from his mark. It felt like bugs were crawling under his skin. As he watched the mark moved back toward its original shape. It began to burn again.

Anko woke, rubbing her own bite. "What's it doing now?" she asked.

"I think Orochimaru is trying to force it back to what it was before. He doesn't like what we did."

"Anything he doesn't like is probably good for us," she said. She moved so that their marks were touching. "Think about the things you love about Konoha. Think about your friends."

He pictured all the people he loved, and this time when Orochimaru's voice tempted him to hate, he remembered his father's pride when he'd seen his son in ANBU, and Naruto's love for his village. He thought about the love Tsunade felt for all of them, and the burden Jiraiya had voluntarily taken on himself.

It was easier to fight with Anko there. She was almost like Konoha itself to him, tough and capable, but soft and forgiving at the same time.

Kakashi realized with a start that he loved her. It wasn't something new; she'd always been close, but now she was so much more.

"Anko, I think somehow I love you," he said, surprised to hear the words come out of his mouth.

Her eyes took on the look of a startled deer. "Are you serious? Don't toy with me."

"I mean it," he said. "I think I've always loved you. It just took me this long to figure out."

"That's a line out of Icha-Icha Paradise," she said, smirking.

The interference from Orochimaru faded away. "I forgot about it being in there. I mean it though."

A glow began to shine from their marks. Soft yellow light filled the space around them.

"Ok, this is new," he said. He watched as Anko's mark began to move. He felt the squeamish feel of bugs under his skin, and he assumed that they were having identical reactions. The lines stretched into a distinct pattern, and he found himself looking at a glowing outline of a Konoha leaf.

"I think we did it," Anko said. "We beat him."

He ran his finger along the design, and Anko groaned and pulled him onto her.

"We should let Tsuande-sama know about this," he said.

"Tomorrow," she said, kissing him and pushing against him.

After they made love again he slept. He woke to an odd itching sensation all over his body. "Does my skin look weird?" he asked Anko.

"Yeah," she said. She poked his arm with her finger, and the flesh gave slightly with a softness unlike normal skin.

"You're about to start shedding," she said. "That's a good thing, because you're done after that."

"Didn't you take a year to get this far?"

"I was a kid. No one knows what happens to adults. The others who went through this just gave in and accepted Orochimaru."

The itching intensified. "How long does this last?" he asked.

"You'll probably be able to start pulling the old skin off in a few hours. I'll help you. It's going to hurt, but you can't take any pain meds. For some reason they just make it worse."

"I'll settle for some Saki then," he said.

"No Saki either. Kurenai and I tried that, and it just made me feel everything more intensely."

"It will be over soon," he said. "That's all that matters."

"I'm going to get Tsunade-sama," Anko said. "Do you want me to stop by your house and get a book or something until it's ready to shed?"

"Sure, but nothing sexy." He looked down at himself. His skin was turning a mottled color, silver mixed with bruise-blue. "I'm really not feeling it right now."

When she left he didn't have anything to distract himself with. He decided to get dressed and see what kind of books Jiraiya might have laying around. He probably had at least a few that weren't erotic.

When he sat up the itching turned to pain. Elbows, knees, crotch – anywhere his body moved hurt.

_Ok, so that was a bad idea, _he thought. He lay down carefully, spreading his legs so as little of his body touched his penis as possible. _This is going to be bad._

He had to pull the blanket off as even that small touch became painful. He couldn't go into a pain-reducing trance until he'd spoken with Tsuande-sama. They didn't always work, anyway, and he figured that if pain meds and alcohol didn't work then pain management techniques wouldn't either. Orochimaru probably did it on purpose.

When Tsunade came back she dismissed Anko. She checked him over, frowning as she poked a finger at skin that gave too readily. "Anko said this is normal," she said. "Is there much pain?"

"Hai, Tsuande-sama."

"I see. She also told me we can't give you any relief." She rubbed a bit of skin, and it came away in a small patch. "I don't think there's much I can do here."

"I know," he said. "It's just one day or so. I can handle it."

Anko came back in when Tsunade left. "It's starting to come off," she said. "Do you want to stop at top or bottom? It's going to hurt like hell when we have to work on Little Kakashi."

"How did you and Kurenai do it?" he asked.

"We got the crotch last. I'd do that, if I were you."

"You know more about it than I do," Kakashi said. "Let's just be done with this as quickly as possible."

She rolled her thumb across part of his shoulder, bringing up a bit of skin with it. It felt like she was scrubbing his body with sandpaper. The more she pulled away, the more sensitive he became.

He closed his eyes and tried to focus on something besides what was happening to his body. He always went to the same place in his mind when he needed to hide – the memorial stone. Obito sat on the ground, both eyes healthy and body uncrushed.

_So, what's up? _Obito asked.

_Got myself in some trouble again, _Kakashi said.

_Of course you did, Baka. What else is new?_

_Well, let's see. Orochimaru wants to rape me, and I'm dating Anko. _

_Dude, that sucks, _Obito said.

_Which part?_

_Both. Did you forget about the time she tried to cut your ear off with a kunai?_

_No. I remember. I just really want to be with her._

_Have fun with that pile of crazy, _Obito said.

_You're just jealous because you're a virgin, _Kakashi said.

He felt the pull from the outside world that meant he couldn't hold the jutsu any longer. It was too short-term to be of much use, but it was a brief respite.

And suddenly Obito was gone and Anko was there, pulling at his torso. "I see you're back," she said. "I was hoping you could stay out of it until I could finish."

"I don't have the chakra to hold that jutsu for long," he said.

She began to work on his head. Oddly enough, it didn't hurt much, but he saw something out of the corner of his good eye on the bed.

He turned slightly, ignoring the screaming signals his body sent him. A growing pile of white hair lay beside him.

"That's my hair," he said. "You're pulling out all of my hair!"

"It's going to fall out," she said. "It will grow back. Don't be such a big baby."

"I don't remember you being bald," he said.

"Kurenai bought me a wig. Ok, brace yourself. I'm about to hit the worst spots."

He looked down and saw that his whole body was a whitish-red, exactly as if he'd had a spotty sunburn. In some spots his own skin had come away with the flaking silver skin, leaving shallow cuts.

The first time she ran her hand across his member she pulled away a long string of skin, and he jumped.

"Be still," she said. "You'll only make it worse."

_All those years of using condoms and I still get a penis on fire,_ he thought as she worked on him. A sharp pain shot through him, and he looked down to see a long cut where skin underneath had pulled away.

"Anko! Be careful!"

"I am!" she said. "Quit moving. You're just making this worse."

He tried to concentrate on laying still. When her hand slipped under his scrotum and began removing tissue he found himself whimpering. He didn't even try to stop. Any semblance of dignity was gone, replaced with fire and a need to flee.

"Okay, we're halfway done," she said. "Roll over so I can get the back."

He moved as carefully as possible, but he couldn't help hitting the worst spots. After what she'd done to his crotch the back was nothing, but he almost cried when she finished. Everything throbbed.

"Roll over one more time," she said. She helped him, and then said, "we're done now. Just lay still. In a few hours it won't hurt so badly, and in a couple days you can get out of bed."

He didn't say anything. He couldn't.

"I'm sorry," Anko said. "I hope you don't hate me."

He opened his eye and saw that same look she'd had so often as a child. She looked afraid and lost.

"Of course not," he said. "I fucking hate Orochimaru. I don't know what I'd do without you here. I'd like to be alone now though."

She left him in the dark, feeling each piece of his body hurt in turn and in tandem. When Tsunade came to check on him later he didn't miss the way she wouldn't touch him.

"I'm not going to break," he said. "You can touch me if you need to."

"You look like it would hurt," she said.

"The pain is getting better," he said. "I've dealt with worse on missions."

It was a long two days, and when he could finally get out of bed he decided he was going home. Jiraiya didn't try to stop him, but he did suggest a wig.

"I'm not wearing a wig!" Kakashi snapped. "It will grow back."

"Suit yourself," Jiraiya said. "It's going to raise questions though."

"They all know I've been sick with some mystery disease. I'm sure the village will just put it down to that."

He knew he looked bad. The limp was still noticeable. It would probably never go away. He was bald, and his ribs showed. His skin was red and covered in small cuts and raw patches.

"I want some junk food," he said. "I could really go for some ramen. You want to come?"

"Sure," Jiraiya said. "I haven't been out much lately."

Kakashi knew why. He'd been keeping them all too busy. "Hey, thanks," he said. "I don't know if I could have made it through this without you."

Jiraiya waved his hand dismissively. "Just remember that the next time I tell you I need an alibi for something."

He didn't really expect to get through lunch peacefully. There were too many people who wanted to talk with him. Most of them were content to tell him they were glad he was home and that they wanted to catch up later.

He had a bit of a scare with Sakura. She squinted at him. "Tsuande-sama wouldn't tell anyone what kind of disease you had," she said. "Not even me."

He had to make a quick decision. He could bullshit the rest of the village, but there was no way he could fool a doctor. "It was of an, um, embarrassing nature," he said.

She rolled her eyes. "Did you really get an STD on a mission? That's a new low."

He didn't really know what to say.

"Well, I'm glad you're home." She leaned forward and whispered into this ear. "I don't know what happened out there, but make up a better story for any other doctors you might meet. I've never heard of an STD that makes your hair fall out."

"Er… yeah," he said.

"They don't have ramen up there," he said to Jiraiya between mouthfuls. "I've never tasted anything so good in my life."

"I guess it's good to be home, huh?" Jiraiya said.

"You have no idea. It's not just the ramen. It's the people, and the weather, and even the smell of the place. I've never felt so in touch with Konoha."

Jiraiya glanced at Kakashi's lap.

"What? Did I spill something?" Kakashi asked.

"No, I just wanted to see if that boner you have for Konoha was real or metaphorical."

Kakashi laughed loudly, drawing attention from the other customers.

"That's what I like to hear!" he heard behind him. "Your attitude is very youthful! How are you feeling?"

"Hi Gai. Not bad. I'm getting over it." He was glad to see his obnoxious friend.

"Well, if we're having a balding contest you should have told me," Gai said. "I'll go to the barber right away."

"No, Gai, don't…"

"You won't win this one!" Gai said. He slapped Kakashi's back.

Kakashi managed to keep from screaming, but he grasped his chopsticks so hard they broke in his hand.

When Gai left Jiraiya said, "That look like it must have hurt."

"Oh yeah," Kakashi said.

He managed to make it home without running into any other friends.

"Give me a call if you need anything," Jiraiya said.

"Will do." He really just wanted to hide a bit. His back still stung.

Life settled back into a routine, and his skin and hair grew back eventually. Only the limp remained, and whenever it rained his leg ached.

_Fucking Orochimaru_, he thought one day when he had to use the cane again.

Jiraiya saw him making his way around the village slowly, a scowl on his face even the mask couldn't hide.

"Leg bothering you?" he asked.

"No, I'm just inventing a silly walk for the kids," Kakashi grumbled. "Seemed like a fun idea."

"It does this before a storm now, doesn't it?" Jiraiya asked.

"Yes, and Tsunade said that there isn't anything else she can do for me. I'm going to be village-bound for the rest of my life. I can still fight, but Tsunade wants me around as much as possible."

"It's a miracle you came home at all," Jiraiya said. "So what's this I hear about you and Anko moving in together?"

"We're looking for a place," Kakashi said. "Our apartments are too small."

"I'm surprised to see you two so serious. You never were this way with women before."

"Anko is different," Kakashi said. "I don't know if it's because we've been friends so long, but I think it might be because of the mark. We're the only people in the world connected just like that. And you would not believe what it's like to have sex with her with that thing activated."

"I kind of picture sex with Anko involving kunais and safe words," Jiraiya said.

Kakashi chuckled. "Only when I'm very lucky. I lucked out on this one."

"I hate to ruin your good day then, but I have a summons from the Hokage."

"Do you know what it's about?"

"We heard from the Sound. They're ready to begin negotiations, and they want to know when you can go."

Kakashi looked up at the Hokage tower. Of course Tsunade's office was on the top floor. It was a good thing he had that handy transportation jutsu.

He disappeared in a swirl of leaves, landing in her reception area. "Yo," he said when Shizune looked up.

"Hello Kakashi. Tsunade has been expecting you. Go right in."

Three ANBU stood in the room on guard, and Tsunade was talking with another ninja, one in a Sound uniform. "Kiria!" Kakashi said. "I didn't expect you here."

"Orochimaru thought I would be the logical choice. I haven't had any clashes with Konoha, and we had some connection when you stayed with us."

"We were just setting up the details," Tsunade said. "I'd like you to go with her as soon as possible."

"I don't have any missions right now," Kakashi said. "I can go as soon as my leg calms down. This never lasts more than a day or so."

"Very well." She turned to Kiria. "I need to prepare for his departure. The ANBU will see you to your quarters. Let them know if you need anything, and welcome to Konoha."

She waited until Kiria and the ANBU were gone. "This was unexpected," Tsunade said. "She turned up on our borders, alone. She didn't have any escorts, and she immediately turned over all of her weapons. She even allowed one of the ANBU to search her before she came into the village."

"She's serious about her mission," Kakashi said. "She sees this as giving some meaning to her brother's death. She thinks I'm going back to join her as a Sound nin. It's going to upset her when she finds out the mark didn't take."

"Orochimaru wants you to go alone and disarm at their borders. I don't like this."

"I'm not crazy about it either," Kakashi said, "but it has to be done this way. I'm too strong to be let in there armed, and I'm the only one with any connection to the Sound Village."

"You still want to do this, even after what he did to you, don't you?"

"What I want has no bearing on this, Hokage-sama."

"Yes, but you do want it. I can tell. Why is that? I would think you'd want to stay away from the place."

"Orochimaru was right about a few things, even if he did come at it from a different angle than I would. Our villages aren't just enemies, Hokage-sama. We're obsessed with each other. Orochimaru betrayed Konoha. That makes him more dangerous to us than some other Hokage. He knows us. And as much as I love Konoha, we are becoming obsessed with killing him. If we can find some peace between the two villages there's hope that when he dies we can forge a lasting alliance."

"Spoken like a Jounin," she said. "I would spare you this if I could, but he asked for you specifically. How will you travel?"

"After the storm front passes my leg will probably be fine. I can't move as fast or as far as I used to, but I'll make it. If it gets bad enough I'll rent a cart or something."

"Be careful up there," she said. "I don't know if Orochimaru's done with you yet."

"The mark isn't going to activate for him," Kakashi said. "If anything he's given me a tie to Konoha I never had before. I don't think he's going to kill me. He really needs peace."

"I hope so," she said. "I'll feel easier when you return."

"So will I. Hopefully I'll return with a peace treaty. That will make all of this worthwhile."

He went to Kiria's quarters. They had housed her with the Hyuugas, who were tending to her with all the icy formal hospitality of their class. He thought it was out of place for a soldier to stay with royalty, and she was obviously ill-at-ease.

He wasn't allowed to be alone with her. Cat stood by under orders. "I'm sorry, Senpai, but Tsuande-sama said I'm not to leave under any circumstances."

"Understood," Kakashi said.

He sat and offered Kiria some water. "Make sure you don't dehydrate in this climate," he said. "I know you're not used to the heat."

She was sweating profusely. "Does it show?" she asked.

"A little. I'm glad to see you. We were expecting a communication before a diplomat arrived."

"Orochimaru said it was how you showed up in our village, so it seemed appropriate."

"He has an odd sense of humor," Kakashi said.

"Usually. He says a lot that I don't understand. He told me not to expect you to be my brother. I don't know what he meant by that."

Kakashi didn't want to deal with such sensitive subjects in front of Cat. Even as used to highly classified information as the ANBU were, he didn't want more than the three people who already knew about his connection with Orochimaru to hear about it.

He twitched his head toward Cat. "Later," he said.

He extended his arm to Kiria. "Right now I'd love to show you around."

"Is it safe?" she asked.

"You're a guest of Konoha. Of course it's safe," he said.

"It's just that I heard…" She stopped.

"What did you hear?" Kakashi asked.

"Well, that people in the south are barbarians, and there are demons everywhere. My uncle said to be careful or the Kyuubi would rip me up. It's container lives here, doesn't he?"

"No. Most of the Jinchūrikis live in the south, but the demons are sealed. You're quite safe. I'll introduce you to the one who carries the Kyuubi if you like. We didn't used to be allowed to talk about it, but the law has been repealed."

"We have a lot to learn about each others' villages," Kiria said. "I can see we don't understand each other very well."

"The first thing we'd better do is stop by my girlfriend's house," he said. "I don't need the drama of her hearing I'm hanging out around town with a woman from the Sound."

"Is she the jealous type?" Kiria asked.

"More the batshit crazy type," Kakashi said. He heard Cat chuckle. "I love her though. I hope you two get along."

They walked through the streets, and villagers and ninjas stopped to stare. He knew it was an odd sight, with him leaning on a cane and escorting a Sound ninja through the streets, while an ANBU followed closely.

No one approached them, and he couldn't help but think that the Sound Village had been more welcoming when he was there. Of course, it was rare for any strangers to go so far north into such a remote place, and Konoha was in a densely populated part of the south. People from another village here meant either business or danger. For all their toughness, the Sound Village was naïve about some things.

Anko opened the door and stood without saying anything. She blinked for a moment. "Kakashi, we need to throw out that Chinese takeout. It must have gone bad, because I'm seeing a Sound Ninja on my doorstep."

Kiria snorted laughter.

"No, she's real," Kakashi said. "This is Kiria. You remember me telling you about her?"

"Yeah," Anko said. "Are you defecting? You should probably get out of those clothes."

"I'm not defecting," Kiria said. "I'm here as a diplomat."

"That's nice," Anko said. "Sweetie, could I talk to you alone for a minute?"

_Oh fuck, _Kakashi thought. When Anko used that sort of syrupy sweet tone he was always in trouble, and when she called him Sweetie he usually ended up dodging weapons.

"Sure." He turned to Cat and Kiria. "I'll just be a few minutes."

Cat's impassive mask told him nothing, but Kiria's look of sympathy told him she knew what was waiting for him.

"You didn't tell me she was pretty," Anko said as soon as the door was closed. Her voice was level and quiet, something Kakashi associated with mounting temper.

"Kiria? She's ok, I guess – kind of chunky for my taste. That scar is a turnoff. Is that what you're mad about?"

"I thought of her as this old, battle-worn kunoichi," Anko said. "You two have something together, and now you're going to leave me and be with her in the north. I'm afraid when you come back it won't be to me."

He moved toward her tentatively. He wanted to hold her and let her know things were going to be ok, but he'd learned long ago that she had the temper of a volcano. Just because she seemed calm didn't mean there weren't things bubbling just below the surface, ready to burn anyone unlucky enough to be nearby.

She didn't reach for a weapon, so he pulled her into his arms.

"Come back to me," she whispered.

"I told you. I'm yours for as long as you want me," he said.

"And the women up there? I know how much you like sex."

"First, I made you a promise, and I don't break my promises. Second, I'll be so busy I doubt I'd have any time to get in trouble if I wanted to. Third, the women up there are a bit on the hairy side. I think it's the climate."

She held him closer, wrapping her arms so tightly around him it almost hurt. "I love you so much," she said. "I keep waiting to find out you're leaving me. It's too good to be true."

"What's too good to be true? That you finally found someone who understands you? I feel the same way. Don't worry while I'm gone. I like the Sound Village, but there's nothing that could ever keep me there, and after you I think most women would bore me."

"All right," she said. "Go do your mission. I trust you; I just get scared sometimes."

"You're my lifeline," he said. "If it makes you feel better go to the Fire Temple and light a candle for me. I'd like to know that one was burning back home. My mother used to do that for my father when he was out of the Fire Nation."

"But they only let spouses light candles for each other," she said. Her eyes grew wide as she realized what he was suggesting.

"We can do it before I go," he said. "It won't be much of a wedding, but I'll do more for you when we get back."

She kissed him eagerly, but he had to stop her once her hand slipped into his pants. "I have people waiting for me," he said. "This is the beginning of my mission. She showed me around the Sound and tried to make me feel at home. I need to do the same for her, and she's uncomfortable here."

"Do what you need to," she said. "I'll go buy a dress. We don't have enough time to arrange a wedding in the Temple, but I'll go see what Tsunade can do for us."

"As long as you're there it will be enough," he said. "I'll be back when I can. I want to make love to you once more before I leave."

He stepped out into the bright sunlight. "Well?" Cat asked.

"Well, I'm getting married before we leave," he said. "Holy shit. I'm getting married."

"Congratulations," Kiria said. "Did you have to move the date up because we're leaving? I'd hate to think I ruined your plans."

"No," he said. "I hadn't thought about it until just then. It just hit me that I didn't want to leave without her being my wife. Holy shit. I'm getting married."

"You said that," Cat said. "I'm going to get some of the guys together tonight. We'll give you a party before you go."

"I have too much to do," he said. "I need to go over details of the mission with Tsunade-sama."

"I'm sure Anko will have things for you to do too," Kiria said.

"I'm going to let her deal with the wedding," Kakashi said. "Some things are the mysterious province of women."

"Well said Sempai," Cat said.

He enjoyed introducing Kiria to ramen, and he tried not to laugh as she negotiated what was for her an odd food.

"What are these strings?" she asked, fighting with the noodles.

"Those are called noodles. You don't have those up north?"

"I've never seen anything like it," she said. "I haven't been out of the Sound Village much, and then not very far away. What is it made out of?"

"Flour, eggs, and water mostly," Kakashi said. "So what do you think of Konoha so far?"

"It's so big," she said. "And the whole place is different. There aren't any real boundaries. I mean, how do you protect the place when the whole village sprawls like this?"

He thought about what his response should be. He didn't want to give away sensitive information. "It's not hard," Kakashi said. "We have the whole Fire Nation full of people dedicated to the survival of the Fire Lord, but you just have that one village."

"I'm just used to a village being more contained, I guess," she said.

"We're centuries old," he said. "Every time there's a war or the mountain erupts we have to build part of the village again. It's like a living thing. We're used to it."

"It's a beautiful place," she said. "I'd like to see more of it before we go."

"I think I can arrange that. We'll have to avoid certain places, of course, but I'll take you to the art museum, and a few other places I know."

"Oy, Kakashi!" he heard behind him. Naruto hopped into the chair behind him. "I want to meet the Sound-nin. Obaa-chan said we're going to have peace, and I can't wait. I have faith in you. Believe it."

Kakashi glanced at Kiria, who was staring open-mouthed at Naruto. _The boy is a bit of a shock for people who aren't prepared, _he thought.

"Kiria, this is Naruto," Kakashi said. "He was my student, and if he would calm down at times he'd probably be one of our best ninjas."

_Take the hint and calm down, Baka, _Kakashi thought. He didn't need Kiria thinking they were all a bunch of idiots.

"Uzumaki Naruto?" she asked.

"The same one," he said. "You've heard about me then?"

"Of course I have!" she said. "But I heard you were a hundred feet tall, had eyes of fire, and bled poisonous chakra."

Naruto scratched the back of his head. "Uh, he he, only sometimes," he said. "Usually I just look like this."

She held out her hand to Naruto and shook his energetically. "I'm so glad to meet you Naruto. Wow! I can't believe I actually got to meet a Jinchūriki! This is amazing."

Kakashi was surprised at her open expression of her feelings. She reminded him of Naruto. She might be a highly-trained ninja, but she was obviously also a country girl who wasn't used to the subterfuge involved in being a ninja.

_Why would Orochimaru make her a Jounin? _Kakashi wondered. Being a Jounin meant more than just being strong and loyal. Jounins were the leaders of the ninja corps, and they had to have almost complete control of every aspect of their ninja disciplines. He doubted this girl could trick her way out of a paper bag.

Still, she had the same kind of genuine outgoing nature that Naruto had. She might be a poor pick for a Jounin, but she was a perfect pick for a diplomat to Konoha.

She chatted with Naruto happily. "Someday I hope you can visit our village," she said.

"I will when you and Kakashi have made peace between us."

Kakashi decided to mess with Naruto again. "You are going to be at the wedding tomorrow I hope," he said.

"Who's getting married?" Naruto asked.

"I am," Kakashi said.

Naruto laughed. "Of course you are, Sensei. Is Jiraiya also giving up porn? I bet Tsunade just became a regular tea drinker too."

"No. I'm really getting married. It's going to be sometime tomorrow."

"All right. Call me when you have your "wedding" then. I'll go rent a tux right now."

Kakashi gave up trying to convince him.

When he left she said, "wow. He's really something."

_That's one way to describe him, _Kakashi thought. He wasn't sure if he should be irritated with Naruto for being so open in front of a Sound ninja, or if he should be proud of him for wanting to embrace her in the name of peace. He decided both were appropriate.

"Is there anyone you'd like to meet?" he asked.

"I've been thinking about that," she said. "I was looking through the Bingo book, and I'd like to meet Haruno Sakura and the Sannin Jiraiya the most."

"Why them?" Kakashi asked.

"I heard that Sakura can break a mountain with one punch, and that she's a doctor. The Sound is sort of… male dominated, I guess you could say. I'm the only female jounins there. I want to meet a woman that powerful."

"And Jiraiya?" he asked.

"Well, I read your Icha-Icha Paradise book while you were up there, and I'd like to meet the author," she said, blushing.

_Oh bloody hell, _Kakashi thought. "I'll take you to meet him. I think you'll like him." He traded a look with Cat. _We'll have to watch her around him, _Kakashi thought. She was a little hairy around the eyebrows for his taste, but Jiraiya wasn't that particular, and he loved any woman who was a fangirl.

"Anyone else?" he asked.

"I'd like to meet Maito Gai," she said. "I read in the Bingo Book that he comes from a northern family. I'd like to see how one of us managed to fit in here."

"His grandfather came from an area south of where the Sound Village is now, but I remember Gai telling me he was a peasant."

"Oh," she said. "I'd still like to meet him. I've heard a lot about the Green Beast. Can he really open all the gates?"

"You'll have to ask him about that," Kakashi said. He didn't want to give her that information unless Gai was comfortable with it.

She loved the art museum, especially the paintings of different parts of Konoha. By now word of her presence had gotten around Konoha, and people had varying reactions to her. Many watched from a distance, reminding him of the villagers in the Sound. One or two got up the guts to speak with her, but too many simply stared with open hate for his taste.

He would have been embarrassed for his village, but he knew why they felt that way. Konoha had been invaded four times in the centuries it had existed, and it had never forgotten any of them. To have an enemy ninja walking openly among them was unbelievable, even if she was guarded by an ANBU and himself.

_Tsuande-sama should have been here with us, _he thought. It had probably made things easier for him that the Hokage of the village was treating him as his guest, although it might have also been because his body was so obviously torn up that he wasn't much of a threat at the moment.

They reached the hospital. "Sakura should be here," he said. "This is about the time she gets off shift."

"This is your hospital?" she asked. "It's so big."

"It has to be," Kakashi said. "Because of the way Konoha "sprawls" – as you put it – we have a massive amount of people to treat."

He didn't take her past the waiting area. He wasn't entirely ready to grant that her naivety was real. Just in case it was an extremely clever act he decided not to give her any information that might help a terrorist attack on the hospital.

Sakura got out a little late, but Kakashi was proud of her, as always. She was more reserved than usual, but she greeted Kiria politely and chatted with her about her mission. Kakashi noticed that she avoided anything other than vague information about Konoha.

_Good girl, _he thought. He'd watched her grow from a frightened girl to an intelligent ninja.

"She was one of my students," he said as they walked toward Jiraiya's house.

"You had her and Naruto as students?" she asked. "You must be very proud."

A quick picture of Sasuke flashed through his mind, and he didn't feel proud of himself. "I'm proud of those two," he said. "They would have made great ninjas no matter who taught them. Jiraiya and Tsunade did much more than I ever did."

He had trouble with the incline again, and he invited her to sit on the bench half-way up, pretending he wanted her to see the view. He knew Cat wouldn't buy it. He didn't really care how much she believed him. His knee throbbed, and he had to sit. It wouldn't last much longer.

When he stood his knee buckled under him again. He managed to fall on the bench instead of the ground, but it was obvious what had happened, and he knew he couldn't hide his weakness any longer.

"It's still giving you problems, isn't it?" Kiria asked.

"Only on rainy days," he said.

"Kabuto thought you'd be better by now."

"Not so much. It's just this bad when the weather is like this. There's a storm coming in tonight, and this happens occasionally. It's not a big deal."

He moved his knee about, testing the strength. He chatted with Kiria for some time, until he could move on. It wasn't as bad as the time Jiraiya had to help him up the hill, but Cat did assist him a couple times. He'd never get used to having to let the village see his weakness.

Jiraiya had been writing when they arrived, and he had a smudge of ink across his nose. _I bet he did that on purpose, just to appear scholarly, _Kakashi thought. He knew that Jiraiya would have had word of her presence ahead of time.

"I heard you were escorting the diplomat from the Sound Village," Jiraiya said, "but no one told me she was so lovely."

He flashed Kiria one of his best smiles, and she was obviously flattered. Kakashi managed to let her and Cat get inside the room ahead of him so he could catch Jiraiya's ear privately.

"Don't," he whispered into Jiraiya's ear as he passed him.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Jiraiya said, but Kakashi saw the smirk.

He tried to keep it from being obvious that he needed to sit, but he didn't think he was fooling anyone. He stretched his leg out, feeling the swollen knee press against his pants.

Kiria and Jiraiya chatted about the Icha-Icha Series. Jiraiya took her into his study to show her the original engravings for the illustrations, and Cat followed. Kakashi stayed on the couch. He trusted Cat to watch her.

When they were ready to leave Kakashi knew he wasn't up for the walk. "You two will have to go on without me," he said. "I have a few things I need to take care of before we leave."

Cat nodded. He didn't need to be told any more.

"That's a nice girl," Jiraiya said after they left. "You were right about the hairiness though."

"You seemed to be interested," Kakashi said.

Jiraiya shrugged. "What can I say? I know how to treat the ladies. She'll go home with a good impression of at least one of us, right?"

"She had a good visit with everyone she met. Some of the villagers obviously didn't like her, but no one was rude. I think Naruto confused her."

"How bad is the knee?" Jiraiya asked. "I assume that's why you're still here?"

"I could use an icepack," Kakashi said.

Jiraiya fetched him some ice, and it began to bring the swelling down.

"I think you'd better send for a medic ninja," Kakashi said.

"You actually want medical attention?" Jiraiya asked. "It must be really bad."

"Not really, but I have to get ready for this mission, and I can't make it to the hospital on my own. They won't be able to do much, but anything is better than nothing right now. I should probably use a crutch again, too. I have a lot of travel ahead of me.

By the way, you are coming to the wedding tomorrow right?" Kakashi asked.

"Whose wedding?" Jiraiya asked.

"Mine."

Jiraiya blinked. "Who trapped who there? You can't go and get married on me."

"I asked her today. It was a spur of the moment thing. I still can't believe it myself. Cat wanted to get the ANBU together for a party, but I had to pass. There's too much to do, and those ANBU parties take some recovery. The last time we all got drunk I was in the hospital for a couple days."

"Yeah, those guys do everything to the extreme," Jiraiya said. "You have your work cut out for you there."

"So does she," Kakashi said.

Jiraiya left to get the medic, and for the first time since he'd proposed to Anko he was left alone with his thoughts.

He called Pakun. "Hey pup," the summon said. "You smell injured."

"I haven't seen you in a long time, have I?" Kakashi asked.

"I guess not. What's up?"

"I'll give you the short version. I'm about to go to the Sound Village as a diplomat, and I'm getting married to Anko tomorrow."

Pakun scratched a flea. "I'm putting even money on which one gets you killed first – your mission or your woman."

"Very funny," Kakashi said. "People have the wrong idea about her. I just wanted to let you know ahead of time."

"Who are you going to have as your best man?"

"I hadn't thought about it. I'll have to hunt Gai down later. Right now I'm resting the knee. It's a real mess. I can't take missions outside the village anymore. This one is probably my last."

"Tough thing there," Pakun said. "Make sure you call us occasionally so we can keep up."

"I'll do that," Kakashi said. "You guys are probably the best friends I've ever had. You even stayed by Dad when no one else would, not even me."

"That's what dogs do," Pakun said.

He pushed Pakun over gently, and he watched as the little pug scrabbled to roll over. "You've been gaining weight," Kakashi said. "I didn't even know summons could get fat."

"I'll show you fat," Pakun said, launching himself at Kakashi. The two wrestled, with Kakashi being careful of his knee.

"Great," he said when they quit. "I'm covered in dog hair."

"You're always covered in dog hair," Pakun said. "I doubt anyone will notice."

As usual, going downhill proved to be much easier. Anko must have been talking to people, because he was already getting well-wishes, as well as a good amount of "why didn't you tell me" from his friends.

Tsunade hugged him so tightly he couldn't get his breath for a bit. He didn't complain though. The chance to be almost suffocated in those breasts was the stuff of legends (or at least some of the better underground porn in Konoha.) He had a few issues involving her in a private collection he wouldn't dare let anyone see.

"We'll l have to move fast," she said. "We can have the wedding in the park. Did you pick a best man? What are your colors? Oh, it's so romantic!"

Kakashi blinked, not really knowing where to start. "I don't think we'll have time for much," he said. "I still have to get ready for the mission."

"Oh, what's to get ready for?" Tsunade asked. "It's a diplomatic mission with a country that doesn't even share our borders. Let's talk about the wedding."

She sat at her desk and leaned back in the chair with a big smile on her face. "I talked to the Yamanakas, and they're already making flower arrangements." She chattered on, and Kakashi began to suspect her happiness had nothing to do with him and Anko.

He waited until she was looking out the window, talking about love and romance. He snuck quietly out of the room backwards, keeping an eye on his boss.

Jiraiya was just coming in to the reception room. "You do _not _want to go in there," Kakashi said.

"Is something wrong?" Jiraiya asked.

"I think she has a bad case of mariageitis," Kakashi said, "and you're right at ground zero. Unless you feel like proposing I'd suggest you hide for awhile."

"Sounds good," Jiraiya said. "I love her, but I'm not about to be caught in fallout from your wedding."

"Why does it feel like this has completely gotten away from me?" Kakashi asked.

"Because you're just a man. Weddings are something made by women that consumes them. You, my friend, have unleashed the wedding monster, and god help us all."

"I'll go talk to Anko," Kakashi said. "I'm sure she has things in hand."

"You'd better hope so," Jiraiya said, "because I think she's trying to arrange in a day what most people take months to finish."

"I think between Anko and Tsunade they can manage it," Kakashi said.

He saw Gai on the way to Anko's. "My youthful rival! I'm so glad to have finally seen you find love."

"It took me long enough," Kakashi said. "I can't believe I'm about to be married."

"You two were just meant to be," Gai said.

"I'm glad I found you," Kakashi said. "I'm leaving on a mission in a day or two, and I decided to have the wedding before I go. It was supposed to be something small, but it's taken on a life of its own. Would you be my best man?"

Tears began to flow freely from the Green Beast's eyes. "Of course, my rival. I will gladly be your best man."

After Kakashi calmed Gai down he headed for Anko's. He wanted to see her, but he half-dreaded what he might find. He had a mental picture of women running around doing mysterious things only they would understand. He knew weddings had a lot to do with flowers, and crying, and there was some reason that fabric was really important. He'd always avoided them so much that he didn't know any more than necessary.

He opened the door slowly, listening for the sound of chatter or crying. When he didn't hear a cult of women he poked his head inside.

"Anko?" he called.

"I'm in here," she called from the bedroom. "Give me a minute. I need to put the dress away. It's bad luck for the groom to see it before the wedding."

_Dear god, I'm a groom now, _Kakashi thought.

She came out a minute or so later, and Kakashi thought he'd never seen her look so happy. "I was afraid you might be a little crazy," he said.

"I'm fine," she said. "I think Tsunade's getting a little weird about all this though. She insisted on setting up a real wedding. I told her it wasn't necessary. I'm just glad to be with you."

"I'm so glad," Kakashi said. "She's gone wedding crazy."

"It must be bad when I'm the sane one," she said.

"I promised you we could have some time together," he said. "I was going to wait until tomorrow night, but Tsunade won't even talk to me about the mission right now. I think I'll probably be working on the mission."

"Are you saying we won't be able to see much of each other until after the mission?" Anko asked. "I understand. I'm a ninja too. I know how these things go."

Her words were brave, but he saw the sadness on her face.

_I'd better make this good, _he thought. _She's going to remember this time for the rest of her life. It's bad enough that I'm having to leave her right after the wedding._

He'd never tried to use charm on Anko. She was his gal-pal for the longest time, and then she suddenly became his girlfriend. He'd never really wooed her.

He took her hand and raised it to his lips, keeping his eye on hers the whole time. He purposely lowered his voice to what he thought of as his "bedroom voice".

"I'm saying we might have to have the honeymoon before the wedding. I know it's traditional to wait, but I don't know if I can."

Her eyes went wide, and she turned a bright shade of red. "You've never spoken to me like this," she whispered.

"I should have," he said. He pulled her into his arms, but he purposely made himself move slowly. He pulled down his mask and nuzzled her neck. He kissed her ear. "I don't know how I missed such a treasure all those years."

She whimpered like a young woman lost in her man's voice. He began to rub slow circles on her back while he kissed her neck.

*"Je t'aime," he breathed into her ear. "Tu es l'amour de ma vie."

She began to breathe heavily. "Oh Kakashi," she moaned.

_It's amazing what words can do to a woman, _he thought. He sucked her earlobe gently and let it go with a kiss and a nibble. "J'ai besoin de toi. Je veux être avec toi pour toujours."

He kissed her hand again. "My flower," he said. He kissed her further up the arm. "My swan." He kissed her shoulder. "My everything." He moved to her lips, and she closed her eyes. He didn't kiss her, but he came so close his lips were barely touching hers. "My Anko," he whispered with as husky a voice as he could manage.

They'd always had frenzied love before. He wanted to do more with her tonight than just fill physical needs. Instead of simply allowing their bodies to collide, he purposely held himself back. He kissed her gently, taking his time as he caressed her lips with his own and slid his tongue across hers.

For once she didn't try to take control. She just let him do what he wanted. He slid his tongue between her lips and along her tongue, moving one hand to the back of her head and playing with her hair. Women loved that.

He didn't usually have this much foreplay with her. It wasn't that he didn't care; they just wanted each other so badly they usually didn't want to wait. He wanted to push her into the bedroom and throw her on the bed, but that wasn't what tonight was about. She'd never been treated right by a man. Tomorrow she would be Mrs. Hatake, but tonight he would treat her like a virgin.

"Anko. I want to make love to you."

"Yes," she said. "Do whatever you want to me."

He held the bedroom door for her. She deserved to be treated like a lady. He took his time, ignoring his own needs for as long as he could, giving her an experience to remember the rest of her life.

He lay beside her, trying not to laugh at her reaction. The usually sexually composed woman lay panting, with glazed eyes and a shocked expression.

"That was amazing!" she said. "No one's ever done anything like that to me."

"You deserve it, and so much more. I intend to make you the happiest wife in Konoha."

"You're off to a good start. I'll remember this forever," she said.

_I know, _he thought. "I hope so," he said.

He loved waking up with her in his arms, but he couldn't stay long. After a short nap he had to leave. "I'm sorry," he said. "There are some things I have to attend to."

"It's ok," Anko said. She pulled the covers around her and snuggled back into the bed. "After what you did you me you can do whatever you want."

_That's a good thing to remember, _he thought. He looked at her, so happy and beautiful, and he activated his Sharingan.

"What are you doing?" Anko asked.

"I want to remember this moment exactly as it is," he said. "This is my idea of perfection."

He went back to the Hokage tower, hoping that Tsunade was in a saner mood. _All women are just one step away from becoming estrogen-crazed maniacs, _he thought.

She was working quietly when he arrived. "Can we work on the mission?" he asked. "I need to know what concessions we can and can't make."

"I've been working up a list since you told me you were planning to go back to the Sound."

"It's just that, you seemed a bit…preoccupied earlier," Kakashi said.

"I'm fine," she said. "This is an important wedding to me. I don't have any natural children. I feel like my son is getting married."

"I'm honored," he said. "I'm still in shock myself."

"Did you get a ring?" she asked.

"No," he said. "I shouldn't have been so impulsive about this. I'm afraid I'm going to fuck it up."

"I was afraid you might have forgotten," she said. She pulled a ring from her desk. "I got these earlier. They're not much, just a couple of plain gold bands. They'll do until you can find something better."

He rolled the rings over in his hand. "No, I think we'll stick with these," he said. "Nothing I could buy will ever mean as much to us as the ones you picked out for us."

"I took the liberty of making the arrangements. I sent the Jounin and ANBU around the village with a general announcement. The park it big enough to hold hundreds of people. It's going to be a beautiful wedding, even if it is rushed. Did you get a best man yet?"

"Gai," he said. "I'm going to get him tomorrow, and we'll find something to wear."

Tsunade laughed. "You are so adorably naïve about this," she said. "I'll call a few people. There are a few perks to being Hokage, and one of them is that I have enough pull to get someone to work at night if I ask nicely."

"Did I forget anything else?" he asked. "I've spent so much time avoiding getting married that I never learned anything about weddings."

"I think we're ok. With all the people coming I think might show up we won't be able to serve refreshments afterward. We'll have a reception when you get back from the mission. Everything else is ready."

"How did you do all this in half a day?" Kakashi asked.

She shrugged. "You have a lot of friends. Konoha loves you."

"As much as I'm excited about this we really do need to talk about the mission," he said.

She handed him a file. "Familiarize yourself with this. I trust you to prioritize the information. It helps that we don't have any shared borders. If we avoid having ninjas in each other's countries that have had clashes over missions then we should be able to avoid confrontation."

"I hope this is for real," Kakashi said. "A lot of the Sound nins were interested in peace. We're not doing each others' countries any favors with this war."

"If I didn't think it was real I wouldn't be sending you," Tsunade said. "The Sound has been weaker the last couple of years, thanks to them overreaching themselves. This could be the only chance we ever get."

"I'm honored to be a part of this," Kakashi said.

They went over the papers. It should be easy, if everyone was truly interested in peace.

"Don't let Orochimaru get to you," she said. "You might not carry his mark anymore, but he's a devious man. He usually gets what he wants."

Kakashi remembered Orochimaru touching him and shuddered. "I'm going to be out of there as soon as I can. I don't want to spend any more time around Orochimaru than I have to."

It took him a while to find Gai. "I don't really know what we're supposed to be doing," he said. "I feel like the women have this all wrapped up already."

"I'm sure they do," Gai said. He began to cry. "This is such a youthful day for you!"

They were in the middle of the town square, and people were beginning to stare. "Calm down, Gai. Tsunade's taken care of most of this. Can you check on the final arrangements tomorrow? I still have to get ready to go, and I'd like to spend some time with Anko if I can."

"I won't fail you!" Gai said. "Everything will be perfect."

He wanted to go to Anko's, but he kept getting sidetracked by work. There was paperwork to do, people to talk to, more paperwork to do. Sometimes he felt like being a Jounin meant being an elite-paperwork ninja.

By the time he dragged himself t her place it was 2am. She was already asleep, and he knew he wouldn't be able to see her until the wedding. He almost woke her up, but he decided against it. They both needed sleep, and she was a bear when she woke up. He crawled into bed, careful not to wake her.

She was gone when he woke, and he found a note on her pillow. "Lots to do. I'll see you later. No peeking at the dress. Love, Anko."

Everyone seemed to manage to "find" him. Gai tried to pretend he'd accidentally run into him on the way to the Hokage tower.

"I know everyone is thinking about the wedding, but I need to talk to you about the Sound," Gai said.

"What do you know?"

"Do you remember my grandfather?" Gai asked.

"Big hairy guy with too many teeth?" Kakashi asked. "Lots of hair coming out of his ears?"

"Yeah," Gai said. "Did I ever tell you why he only had one arm?"

"I never thought to ask," Kakashi said.

"Before Orochimaru took over, that whole area was ruled by a bunch of feudal lords. My grandfather was a woodcutter, and he dropped an armful of wood in front of his lord. The lord ordered them to cut off Granddad's arm a bit at a time, to show him respect."

"I had no idea," Kakashi said.

"They're all barbarians up there," Gai said. "I approve of what you're doing. It's very youthful. Just watch yourself."

Kakashi didn't want to argue with Gai on the day of his wedding. "I'll be careful," he said.

He was relieved when a runner arrived with a summon. He didn't like seeing the serious side of Gai. Tsunade had his clothes ready, and he didn't quite know what to think.

"It's very traditional," Kakashi said. It was the white of hottest fire – with tailored pants and a long linen shirt.

"I'm not religious," Kakashi said. She had gotten him a traditional wedding suit for a follower of Fellenor, God of the Mountain. He believed. He'd just never been very serious about it. Fellenor was known to be lenient in the cases of his warriors.

"It was Anko's idea," Tsunade said. "She thought it might help your chances of coming back from your mission."

"I didn't know she was that afraid," Kakashi said.

"She's not the only one," Tsunade said. "Orochimaru is probably serious about this, but he's insane. It can't hurt to have Fellenor on your side."

"I'm one of Konoha's ninjas. He's already on my side," Kakashi said.

"Are you saying you don't want to wear the Fire Nation wedding clothes?"

"No," he said. "I'm proud of my village, and the Fire Nation."

She straightened his collar. "You look so handsome. You and Anko are going to make the most beautiful children."

He felt a bit panicked. "We haven't talked about children," he said. "Don't get ahead of us there."

He went home to pack his gear, making sure to choose things he wouldn't mind destroying when he returned. His weapons would be confiscated when he reached the border of the Sound, and his clothes and gear would be out of his sight at times. He didn't want to risk them attaching some sort of tracking jutsu to him.

He packed his dress uniform, which was really just a new version of what he usually wore. He decided not to take his book. As much as he loved it, he didn't want to have to throw it out later. He wasn't naïve enough to assume that just because Orochimaru wanted peace he wouldn't try some tricks. Peace to a ninja didn't mean the same thing as it meant to a civilian.

He collected the sets of autographed Icha-Icha books for Orochimaru and Kiria, checking to make sure Jiraiya hadn't written anything rude in his ex-teammates copies. In Kiria's books he had signed it, "To the prettiest mountain flower Kiria. Love, Jiraiya."

_Typical Jiraiya, _Kakashi thought. He opened Orochimaru's copy. Jiraiya had just signed his name, but a note inside said, "now that our villages are finding peace I hope we can too."

Kakashi rushed through the day, and by the time he dressed for the wedding he was feeling as if he hadn't done half the things he needed to do.

The park was transformed. The Yakamonos had turned it into a fairy land of flowers, and it looked as if half of Konoha had turned up for the show. He wished Tsunade could have married them, but it made sense to do this traditionally. He wouldn't have admitted it openly, but he was nervous about his mission as well. It wouldn't hurt to have the fire god notice him at a time like this.

It all paled to the vision that was Anko. She wore a slender red dress that stretched all the way to the ground, and delicate white flowers had been woven into her hair. They were only found on Mt. Fellenor, and they were considered holy. Tsunade had really gone all out for this.

She was a woman worthy of Fellenor himself. She was uncharacteristically shy, and her blush made the look perfect.

"Is that really Anko?" Kakashi asked Gai. "I can barely believe it."

"Hai," Gai said. "I think everyone's thinking the same thing."

She looked at him across the aisle and smiled. When they heard the music start they stepped toward each other, turned toward the altar at the center of the park and took hands. They slowly made their way to the altar, followed by Kurenai and Gai.

"You look amazing," Kakashi said.

"You too," she said. "This is magical."

The priest was at least a foot shorter than the tall Jounins, and he looked up at them as he began the ceremony. Kakashi barely heard the words he spoke. His mind was spinning with what was happening to them.

"Do you, son of Fellenor take this daughter of Fellenor as your wife?" the priest asked.

"I do," Kakashi said.

"And you, daughter of Fellenor, do you take this son of Fellenor as your husband?"

"I do," Anko said.

Kakashi realized he'd made a serious blunder. His mask was so much a part of him he hadn't even considered not wearing it. He hesitated for just a moment, and then pulled his mask down in front of all Konoha and kissed Anko. Konoha had never seen him without the mask since he was old enough to dress himself.

The guests cheered, and he could hear Gai crying behind him. A few tears ran down Anko's face as well.

"Mrs. Hatake," he whispered.

"I'll never get tired of hearing that," she said.

People threw red confetti at them, the color of lava. It invited the blessings of the mountain on their marriage. He took Anko to her apartment. He had meant to leave right after the wedding, hoping to make some distance before nightfall, but he couldn't leave her. He had to make love to her one more time.

He almost hated putting on regular clothes when he was done. It meant leaving the wedding and coming back to reality. His disguise was simple – just a country man's rough tunic.

She walked with him as far as the edge of the village, where Asuma and Kiria waited for them. He was disguised as a farmer. It wasn't hard. Asuma looked rustic anyway. Kiria was dressed as a farmer's wife might dress.

He never would have believed it could be so hard to leave a woman. "I'll be home as soon as I can," he said.

"I know," she said. "I'll light a candle for you. Suddenly all those things they taught us as kids mean something again. I'll say a prayer for you at the Temple every night."

He hadn't prayed since his father died, but it was a touching gesture. "Thank you," he said.

i*"Je t'aime," – I love you.

"Tu es l'amour de ma vie." - You are the love of my life.

"J'ai besoin de toi." – I need you.

"Je veux être avec toi pour toujours." – I want to be with you forever.


	7. Chapter 7

As the left Konoha in an old wagon he didn't let himself look back. He wanted to, not just at Anko but at the village as well. He didn't want to see Anko sad, and he was sure she would be unhappy right now.

"Are weddings usually like that in Konoha?" Kiria asked.

"No," Asuma said. "This one was special."

"Why was it special?" she asked.

Asuma didn't answer. "They think I'm going to die," Kakashi said. "Having a religious ceremony asks our god to bless us."

"They think we're going to kill you?" Kiria asked.

"Everyone fears what they don't understand," Kakashi said. "I hope to try to change some of that, on both sides."

Asuma and Kiria chatted, but Kakashi was too distracted with recent memories to join them. He could wait to truly begin his mission until tomorrow. He had planned on letting Kiria and Asuma get to know each other. It would do her good to talk to another Konoha ninja.

They passed through a few small villages, and they camped in a rural area.

"So, how do you like it here?" Kakashi asked Kiria as they prepared dinner.

"It's beautiful," she said. "It's so big. I've never seen anything like it. And all the trees!"

"Well, we are called the Leaf for a reason," Kakashi said.

"The people are so…civilian," she said.

"That's what happens eventually," Asuma said. "When we were born we were a military village, but you can't be a village for centuries without having families and culture. Some people would consider it a weakness, but it binds us to the land."

"I can see that," she said. "I'm glad I was chosen for this mission. It was good to get to know some of you."

The next day Kakashi reluctantly put thoughts of love and home behind him. From experience he knew that he would perform best if he didn't allow himself to be distracted by even positive emotions. Anko would be waiting for him later. The mission was now.

He did his best to charm Kiria, and he found it easy. She was so naïve in some ways, just like Naruto. He didn't doubt that she was powerful, but again he wondered why Orochimaru would have made her a Jounin.

Their journey was uneventful. No one really had any reason to wonder why a few travelers were going through the country so near harvest time. It took two weeks to get to the edge of the Sound, and by the time they reached the border Kiria and Asuma were fast friends.

SUs met them at the border. One was the same man who had carried Kakashi the first time he was injured.

"It's time for me to head back," Asuma said. "Kiria, I hope you come back to visit us. Kakashi, CYA man, and good luck."

Kakashi was grateful they'd thought to bring a wagon for him. He couldn't make it through the mountains unaided, and he really didn't want to ride into the village on a ninja's back.

When they camped he finally got the chance to speak with Kiria alone. They moved away from the SU units, and Kakashi made sure he could keep them just in sight. He didn't want them to overhear him.

"So what did you have to keep secret from your own ANBU that you can tell me?" Kiria asked.

"We didn't want too many people to know about the Mark," Kakashi said. He didn't want to tell her the next part, because he knew how she'd react.

"The Mark didn't take," he said. "I'm not coming back as anything other than a diplomat."

"Then Sill's death meant nothing," she said.

"Don't say that. He died in combat fighting for his village. That's all we can ever hope for. If Orochimaru hadn't had those ninjas with him I might have beat him. Your bother might have saved your Hokage's life. And if it wasn't for Sill we might not be here right now."

"Would you be saying that if it was Anko that died?" she asked.

_No_, he thought. _I'd kill any Sound ninjas I could find._ He didn't need her to know that. "I hope I'd put my village first," he said. _I doubt I could keep from finding revenge, _he thought. _I'd make Sasuke look like a Zen Buddhist._

"I'm sure Sill is very proud of you," he said. "Not many people could do what you've done. Don't cheapen it by doubting his sacrifice."

She nodded. "You've seen a lot more of the world than me, Kakashi. You sound like you've lost people."

"I've lost almost everyone," he said.

Orochimaru met them at the edge of the village, with a smile that Kakashi was sure he was faking.

_I bet he's seething right now, _Kakashi thought.

"It's good to see you again," Orochimaru said.

_Ok. I guess the mind games start now. _"I'm glad to be back," he said. "They're excited about this at home."

"How's the knee?" Orochimaru asked. "Will you require any special accommodations?"

_I see he's making sure the other ninjas remember he injured me. _

"It gives me some pain, but it doesn't stop me from working," Kakashi said.

"If you need any medical assistance, be sure to let Kabuto know."

"Thank you Orochimaru. You're too generous."

"I'll leave you with Kiria. She wanted to show you around the village. You really never got very far from the hospital last time."

_Son of a bitch, _Kakashi thought. _He knows I'm not going to be able to walk around this place with this knee._

"I'd like to see the training grounds, if you don't mind," Kakashi said. The training grounds were conveniently close to where they were.

"Rest tonight," Orochimaru said. "We'll start work tomorrow. I'm sure you have a list of concerns already."

"I do," Kakashi said. "Tsunade has high hopes that we can make some lasting arrangements."

"How is my old teammate?" Orochimaru asked.

"She sends her regards," Kakashi said. "Jiraiya sent you this," he said, handing Orochimaru the package of books.

"I'll cherish them," Orochimaru said, but when his smile stretched further Kakashi suspected he was lying. He was sure Orochimaru loved the books – who wouldn't? But he probably didn't like being reminded of Jiraiya.

"Give Tsunade my regards as well," Orochimaru said.

Orochimaru left him to Kiria. "I'm sorry about the knee comments," she said. "He can have a mean streak sometimes."

"We have a history," Kakashi said. "I would be surprised if he didn't try to get a few jibes in."

She took him to watch the Genin train. They were obviously nervous with him there, and they kept making mistakes because they were distracted watching him. He saw the senseis getting more frustrated with their students by the minute.

"They're adorable at that age," Kakashi said. "I'd like to meet a few of them."

"I'll speak with the training director," she said.

They had arrived late in the day, and the kids were winding down. One of the senseis shot him a dirty look.

"Who is that?" Kakashi asked.

"That's Mai Ikiko," she said. "She gets irritated easily if her students are distracted. I feel for those poor kids. Her students get more punishment than any of the others. She's a good sensei though. Her students are always disciplined."

He cringed just a bit at thought of how lax he'd been with Team 7. He liked to think he gave Naruto and Sakura a sense of teamwork, even if it was Jiraiya and Tsunade did most of the work, but he had so many regrets when he thought about their training.

"I'll show you around a bit," she said. "Is there anywhere you'd like to go?"

He imagined Orochimaru had given her a list of places forbidden to him, but it was a generous gesture.

"Er, somewhere close?" he suggested.

"Is the knee bothering you?" she asked. "I noticed you still have the cane."

"It still has problems, but Tsuande-sama has been working on it. She thinks she can try a new treatment, and she said it should be useable inside of a year. She thinks it might even recover fully, but I'll always have a limp."

He didn't like lying to her, but there was no way he was going to have Orochimaru find out he couldn't take field missions anymore.

"I'm sure she'll be able to help you," she said. "It's lucky your Hokage is a medical person too."

_It's weird how they view Orochimaru, _he thought. _I wonder how they'd feel if they knew how little he thinks of other people. _They might be a nice village, but it was a bit like someone trying to tell a parent that their adult child is a wonderful person, when the parent remembers what it was like to change their diaper. They never forget who's full of shit.

He supposed cloning was a sort of medical field, if you took away the healing aspect and added an intrusive god complex. They probably had their reasons. He didn't feel like trying to understand something that had caused so much pain to his village. It was enough that he was helping two villages deal with the fallout. He didn't have to empathize with them as well.

He made his way slowly through the part of the village nearest them. He noticed a jounin was always nearby in plain sight, and he assumed an SU or two was out of sight watching them.

He didn't make it far before he began to plan his route according to which way had the least hills to traverse. He had to stop often as electric sparks of pain shot up his knee.

"It's time to get you off that leg, isn't it?" Kiria asked. He could hear honest compassion in her voice.

"The leg isn't that bad," he lied. "I do need to get some rest before tomorrow. It was a long trip."

"You don't have to lie to me," she said. "I'd like to think we're friends."

_She has such an earnest face, _he thought, thinking again of Naruto. _She really shouldn't be a jounin, regardless of how powerful she is._

"Kiria, I don't mean to insult you, but you do realize ninjas are supposed to lie, right?"

_She's so naïve, _he thought. _What is the old snake doing with her? _She definitely wasn't meant to be a jounin.

"Well yes," she said. "I know that, but…" she trailed off with a confused look. "But I don't want us to have to lie to each other."

"Because you and your brother never did, right?" he asked, seeing the root of the problem at last.

"When you take something from a person you have the responsibility to replace it," he remembered his father saying. His conscience always sounded like either his father or Obito.

_But she's an enemy ninja, _he thought.

_Not if your mission is successful_" his father's voice said in his head. "You took something precious from her. Treat her as kindly as possible."

He couldn't argue with the logic. He'd always have to be on his guard around her in a way, but at the same time they shared something together. It wasn't just Sill's death that bound them, or Orochimaru's aborted plan. What she had done for him in the hospital might have started out as a mission, but it had become personal long ago.

"Ninjas from different villages can't truly be comrades," he said, feeling like he was teaching one of his students, "but we can be friends. There is a difference, and I don't see any conflict."

"I thought we already were," she said.

"I hadn't given it much thought," he said. They came to a tree and he leaned against it to ease the pressure on his knee. He tried to look casual, as if he was lazily taking a break.

"I have," she said.

"I can't tell you I won't lie to you," he said. "We both have loyalties stronger than friendship. If Orochimaru told you to kill me you'd do it, and if Tsunade-sama gave me the same order I wouldn't hesitate. I'd hate myself for it, but I'd do it."

"That's not going to happen," she said.

"Probably not, but you're a jounin. We have to be the strongest in mind and body. You can't be this open with a ninja from another village and hope to survive."

"But you're not just another ninja from a different village, are you?" she asked.

It was obvious what she needed. "I guess not, ni-chan."

She smiled broadly and wiped away a couple of tears.

"How about this?" he asked. "No lies unless we have to, and no guilt if we have to do something because of our duty."

"That sounds good," she said.

"Consider this the first real step toward peace between our villages," he said. "I'm sure Sill is proud."

"You can start by being honest with me about the leg," she said.

Sometimes he hated dealing with women, but he knew she was testing him, and he needed to earn her trust.

"It's bad," he said. "I'd appreciate it if you'd keep it to yourself. A man has his pride."

He was glad the hotel he was staying at was nearby, but every step reminded him of why he missed home. It wasn't bad enough that he was going up and down hills; the cold was giving his knee fits.

"There will be a SU to stand guard," Kiria said. "Sleep well, ni-san. Tomorrow is a historic day."

As soon as she left he raised his hitai-ate and activated the Sharingan briefly. He didn't dare use any actual jutsus, but a quick look around for traps shouldn't use enough chakra to be noticeable.

He didn't see anything obvious - just the usual hotel room. He sat in the wicker chair, glad to finally get off his feet. He dreaded seeing how bad the damage was. It hadn't given him this much trouble in a long time.

The knee was so swollen he could barely pull his pants leg over it. He poked at the red skin that pulled taut over the knee, and he tried to move it. Pain flashed through his leg.

He didn't even bother with the cane. Instead he hopped to the mini-fridge and made an ice-pack with a washcloth. He wasn't sure if he needed heat or ice for this kind of injury, but ice was more readily available. He'd try that first, and if that didn't help a long hot bath might do something for it.

He hopped back to the chair and tried to soothe the abused tissue.

_Anko and Tsunade are both going to tear me a new one for this, _he thought, _and Sakura's going to hit me for sure._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The SUs Gecko and Chameleon sat in a monitoring room watching Kakashi. They didn't usually speak much to each other; the twins didn't really need to. They were known as the Lizard brothers, and even their masks looked almost identical. Only Orochimaru could tell them apart, and they loved him for it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kakashi took out the papers Tsunade had given him and looked them over one last time. He was glad they had the room comfortably warm, probably a concession to their southern visitor. He knew how they felt about Konoha ninjas' love of heat, but he could have said they were weak because they only liked the cold, if he'd wanted to. He didn't know what it was with these northern people, but they all seemed to have a machismo attitude toward weather. He supposed it must make the miserable winters easier to live with, feeling like it was building character. He preferred his nice, friendly, not-freezing home.

That and the cold was giving his knee fits.

The heat came on, and with it the air stirred a bit in the room. A smell drifted to him, just a hint in the air.

_Snake, _he thought. _Orochimaru has been here. _He'd have to be more on his guard than ever before. He was probably being watched right now.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Lizard Brothers stood and saluted when Orochimaru walked in.

"Report," Orochimaru said.

"He used the Sharingan when he entered the room," Gecko said, "but he's been quiet otherwise."

Orochimaru looked at Kakashi sitting in his boxers, shirt and mask off – gorgeous in spite of what had happened to ravage his body. Orochimaru was still angry that Kakashi had thwarted part of his plans, but he would have that beautiful body one way or another. He'd lost the chance to have the Sharingan. It might have been just as well. He hadn't meant to cripple Kakashi, and a body like that wouldn't have been very useful to him anymore. He'd have to settle for Kiria's child. There were other ways he could enjoy Kakashi. He just had to wait until the time was right. He didn't want to risk losing the negotiations with the Leaf. They might be an annoyance, but they had numbers, intensity, and a long history behind them. His village had fury and pride, but in a war of attrition Konoha was winning.

He wanted his ninjas to see Kakashi as weak. He didn't want them thinking that just because Konoha people were openly friendly it was a place they'd like to live in.

"He looks scrawny compared to the last time he was here," Orochimaru said.

"Look at his knee sir," Chameleon said.

Orochimaru could tell the knee was at least twice as big as the other one. "He'll need Kabuto before he leaves," he said. His tongue flickered toward the screen. "I'll make sure our guest gets personal attention."

"He seems…feeble," Gecko said. "Is this really their strongest ninja?"

"He was," Orochimaru said. "We did beat him though. Don't forget that. We're stronger than the Leaf. I just don't want us whittling each other away until some other village raids us."

They watched him hop from the small work desk to the bed. "This gives us an advantage though," Orochimaru said.

XXXXXXXXXXX

The knee still throbbed when he woke. _The ice didn't work at all, _he thought. _I can't ever remember when to use ice and when to use heat. _Of course it was possible that neither would work.

He decided to see if a hot shower would help, but when he stepped out of bed the knee buckled completely, dumping him on the floor with a surprised yell. He sat up and tried to bend his leg, but it just wasn't working.

A knock sounded at the door. "You ok in there? I heard a yell."

"Yeah," Kakashi yelled. He decided to put pride aside. He had to get to the meeting with Orochimaru, and if the old snake decided to mess with him he could get around on crutches much better than a cane.

"Could you send to the hospital for crutches?" Kakashi asked. "I'm having more trouble with the leg than usual."

"I'll see what we can do," he heard.

Kakashi pulled himself back onto the bed and looked at his swollen knee. There was a distinctly purple cast to it. It was too much to hope that the guard would just come back with crutches. He'd probably bring a medic with him. Kakashi didn't want to have anything more to do with medics here. He didn't like the idea of someone from the Sound Village having that much control over his body, although as he looked at his leg it occurred to him that he didn't have much control over it now.

When the guard came back he brought Kabuto with him. _Fucking A, _Kakashi thought. _They had to send him._

"Hello again," Kabuto said. "It's good to see you've been taking care of yourself. What the hell did you do to your knee?"

_He's just as obnoxious as I remember him, _Kakashi thought. "Snake bite," Kakashi said, hoping the reference to his master would irritate the medic nin.

Kabuto flexed the knee a bit. "Does that hurt?" he asked.

Kakashi carefully kept any trace of pain from his face or voice. "It twinges a bit."

"Step out," Kabuto said to the SU.

"We're alone now Kakashi. I can't help you if you're not honest with me, and when you're in town you're my mission. How badly does it hurt to move the knee?"

_I really should be an adult about this, _Kakashi thought, but as he looked into that smug, hateful face he couldn't help but annoy Kabuto. "It hurts just a bit. I just need a crutch to get around on until it gets used to the cold. It isn't as if you could do anything for it anyway." He knew it was silly, but for some reason Kabuto got to him more than even Orochimaru.

"Good to know," Kabuto said with an even tone. "So does it hurt when I do this?" he asked, straightening the knee quickly.

Kakashi saw lights in front of his eyes for a second. "Yeah," he gasped. "That hurts."

_Score one for the medic-nin, _he thought. He'd better find a better time to antagonize him.

Kabuto put chakra into his knee, and Kakashi had to actually fight to keep from passing out. The worst thing about medical ninjas was that each one's personal healing style was determined not only by their healing style but by how they felt about a patient. Medical chakra always hurt, but today Kabuto's healing techniques hurt more than the actual injury.

It seemed like forever until Kabuto finished, even though the clock on the wall showed only a few minutes had gone by.

"The swelling has gone down, but you'll have the same problem later. Use the crutches and keep off the leg completely. I'd suggest a wheelchair, but I know better."

"Crutches should be plenty," Kakashi said.

"Well, that's as good as I can get it," Kabuto said. "Chakra healing isn't magical. There's only so much I can do here. You might as well go to the meeting. I know the whole village is excited about this."

He sat up and was immediately hit with a dizzy spell. The knee was numb for the moment from the healing, but the recent pain was still affecting him.

"Give me a couple minutes," he said, closing his eyes.

"Sure," Kabuto said. "I'll just let Orochimaru know the Konoha diplomat can't start negotiations because of a small injury."

Kakashi had to put his head between his knees. "I'll be fine in just a minute," he said. "That was a lot of chakra to absorb." He didn't want to tell Kabuto how much his chakra hurt. He was sure the jerk would use that against him.

He felt cold all over. _There's more wrong than just the knee, _he thought, right before he felt himself starting to fall.

He woke in the bed, undressed and attached to machines again. He could hear Orochimaru and Kabuto talking nearby. He lay still, moving slightly occasionally to make it appear as if he was still sleeping.

"What happened?" Orochimaru asked. "I knew his leg was affecting him, but I had no idea it was this bad."

"There's a significant amount of inflammation in the knee, but he seems to be ill. I've taken a blood sample, but I think it might be a bad flu."

"Seriously?" Orochimaru asked. "That's a civilian disease. Ninjas have stronger bodies than that. We don't succumb to the flue. Genins can fight the flu off. His chakra should have stopped the disease."

"His body is in bad shape," Kabuto said. "I don't think Tsunade would have sent him with a weak immune system like this, so I can only assume this happened after he left. I've seen injury do this before, usually to older ninjas though. Your mark must have really weakened him."

"The village is too highly strung right now to put off negotiations," Orochimaru said. "There were probably people who saw him come in here and not leave. Call me when he's well enough to work. How long do you think that will be?"

"I gave him some medicine," Kabuto said. "With some healing he should be able to talk with you tomorrow, as long as you don't overdo it. Just don't push him."

"You're doing a good job, Kabuto-kun. If I didn't know better I'd think you cared about more than this mission."

"I have professional pride," Kabuto said. "I also don't want to disappoint you."

"You're almost like a son to me. Did you know that?" Orochimaru asked.

"Thank you, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto said.

"The reason I'm telling you this is because when the negotiations are over I'm going to need you to help me with something personal, and I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I know what you want from me, but you mean more to me than those whose bodies I take."

"Thank you sir," Kabuto said. "That means a lot to me."

"And now I'll leave you with him. I'm going to talk to people around the village and let them think he's in here because of the knee and that we've begun negotiations. Have only nurses that have S-level clearance deal with him. I'll send Kiria to stand guard."

"He'll probably feel safer with her around," Kabuto said.

When Orochimaru left Kakashi could hear Kabuto moving about the room. He waited long enough to keep Kabuto from being suspicious and opened his eyes.

"Kabuto, what happened?" he asked.

"You passed out on my floor," Kabuto said. "I know you're not going to believe this, but you have the flu."

"I haven't been sick from something like that since I was five," Kakashi said. "Are you sure?"

"Not exactly," Kabuto said. "I'm having some blood tests done, but I'm fairly sure. Orochimaru is letting the village think you've begun negotiations with him. I don't think you understand how much this means to our village. I'm even hopeful about peace with Konoha."

"You?" Kakashi asked.

"We're not villains," he said. "We want the same things you do. We just have a different way of getting what we want."

"I'm too tired for this right now," Kakashi said, trying to keep his eyes open.

"How are you feeling?" Kabuto asked.

"Cold," Kakashi said, "and shaky. Are you sure I wasn't poisoned?"

"That's the first thing I checked for. You still have a lot of enemies here, and even though Orochimaru left orders not to take action against you there are people with dead family or old wounds who owe you. But no, it's just a child's disease. I know it's hard to believe, but you don't have any better immune system than a civilian."

He placed his hand on Kakashi's forehead, and Kakashi felt his chakra enter him. It only hurt a bit, and he assumed Kabuto's anger must have dissipated.

Kabuto warmed a blanket with chakra and pulled it over Kakashi. "The medicine will work soon. I'll give you some pain pills with an anti-inflammatory for the knee. I know you don't want my help any more than I want to help you, but you need to think of me as your doctor. I'm taking this seriously. There's little that I want more than to see you in pain, but you represent the future of my village, and I'm willing to put aside what happened between us in the past to do my part in that."

"I'll do my best," Kakashi said. _I should say more, _he thought. _I should try to ally myself with him. _He couldn't find the energy. Every bit of him hurt. Somehow it felt like even his hair hurt.

"Orochimaru-sama is sending Kiria over to guard you while you're down," Kabuto said. "I'll let him know you're awake. He's anxious to begin negotiations as soon as you're well enough."

"How long do you think that will be?" Kakashi asked.

"You should be able to talk with him for at least a short time tomorrow, or maybe the next day. You both have a tendency toward going to extremes. Don't wear yourself out."

Kiria was less sympathetic when she arrived. "Orochimaru told me you had the flu." She flicked him on the forehead. "Baka. How did you let that happen?"

"Too much injury and stress I guess," Kakashi said.

"That and Konoha ninjas can't handle the cold, I guess," Kabuto said.

"You know that's not true," Kakashi said. "I've been north before."

"Kabuto, don't be mean," Kiria said. "Your bedside manner is terrible."

Kabuto left grumbling. "Honestly, you two are like children when you get around each other," Kiria said.

"When is Orochimaru getting here?" Kakashi asked, wanting to change the subject. He didn't need another woman fussing over him.

"He'll be back tonight. He has some work to do," Kiria said.

He wouldn't have admitted it, but it felt good to have her in the room while he slept. He'd never really get used to sleeping in this village. No matter what their relationship to Konoha became he'd never really feel comfortable here.

He woke when Kabuto gave him a shot. "How are you feeling?" Kabuto asked.

"Better," Kakashi said. "The chills are gone, at least."

"You're not being macho, are you?" Kabuto said. "It just costs us time, and we both have better things to do."

"No, I'm really feeling better. If Orochimaru wants to start tonight we can. I just need someone to bring my papers over. Some clothes would be good."

"Not before tomorrow," Kabuto said. "I know you probably don't remember what it's like to have a simple illness, but you can relapse."

Kakashi reluctantly agreed. He had an SU that looked like a bear that night, and the next morning Kabuto allowed him to work with Orochimaru.

"You two can have one hour," Kabuto said. He had a folding table brought in, and when Orochimaru arrived with his papers he was ready to begin. He dismissed Kiria.

"Kabuto has been very clear about the need to keep this short," Orochimaru said. "We have all the time we need."

"Where do you want to start?" Kakashi asked. "We have a lot of ground to cover. I don't see this being difficult, but there is a lot of material."

"I'd like to clear the air between us personally," Orochimaru said. His tongue flickered out, and even though he still smiled Kakashi felt a chill that he knew wasn't from his illness.

"How did you do it?" Orochimaru asked. "You shouldn't have been able to break my seal. I looked at it while you were unconscious, and I've never seen anything like that."

Kakashi touched the Konoha mark. "You underestimated the strength of my village. The people who loved me helped me remember how I really felt about my home. You didn't have anything to offer me that I couldn't already find right where I was."

Orochimaru's tongue flickered out, and he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "It shouldn't have worked. I heard you married my old student Anko. She did it, didn't she?"

"I'd rather not discuss Anko," Kakashi said. "That's too personal."

"Understandable," Orochimaru said. "Congratulations. Kiria told me about the wedding, in much more detail than I really needed." He shrugged. "You know how women are."

"Do I ever," Kakashi said.

Orochimaru pulled a paper from a thick file. "We can begin with discussions of territory. It shouldn't take long. We have distinct borders a continent away from each other."

The hour went by too quickly, and Kabuto arrived with a no-nonsense look on his face. "It's time for my patient to rest," he said.

"I accept your expertise," Orochimaru said. "We'll pick back up tomorrow."

He grew stronger quickly with Kabuto hovering over him like a mother hen. He was beginning to see similarities between Kabuto and Sakura, and he wondered if high-level medics were as cantankerous in all the villages.

Once he was well enough Kabuto let him move about the village with the understanding that he would stick to crutches and be mindful of his health. The weather was unusually warm for the Sound Village, which meant it didn't have a hard freeze for a couple days in a row. He saw the villagers in what would have been summer clothing in Konoha. He was tempted to do the same, just to save face, but he didn't want to deal with a relapse.

The first night he stayed in his room again he carefully checked over the room and his belongings. It didn't seem as if anyone had bothered them, and he used his Sharingan just to make sure. _They must know I'd use my Sharingan, _he thought. _If they're going to do something, it will be much more subtle. _He was beginning to think Orochimaru might actually be doing what he seemed to be doing. He wasn't used to truth from Orochimaru, but if he was getting what he wanted he might just be being honest with him.

The negotiations didn't take long, and less than two weeks later they were finished. Kakashi still had to let Kabuto treat his knee regularly, much to his annoyance. He couldn't wait to get back to his warm, relatively flat village.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Most Sound Ninjas knew how to tell when Orochimaru was in a good mood. His facial expression didn't change, but he tended to be a bit more chatty, and his body language was more relaxed. Kabuto welcomed those rare days. It was like watching the sun come out from behind storm clouds. The storm might have been beautiful, but it made the sun all the better.

"I need you to make me a specialized poison," Orochimaru said. "One that will weaken a man to the point of collapse but that won't cause any permanent damage."

"I can do that," Kabuto said. "I have a few that I can tweak just a bit."

"I'll need your help in that personal matter I spoke to you about very soon," Orochimaru said. "We should be wrapping up negotiations, and I have something Kakashi and I need to settle before he leaves."

"And you need a poison for this?" Kabuto asked.

"You and I have grown closer lately," Orochimaru said, "but don't forget your place."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama. When do you need the poison?"

"In a few days," Orochimaru said. "Have it waiting for me."


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Rape mentioned here. I purposely kept it vague, but Kakashi's response is disturbing.

The day finally came when it was time to leave. Kakashi packed, checking each item before putting it in a bag. He'd destroy anything he'd brought with him, but he was still being careful. Every once in a while he had smelled snake in his room, and he knew Orochimaru had been in there.

It was flushing the toilet that finally caught him off guard. He felt just the smallest prick in his finger, and he looked at it, hoping it was a spider bite. It was almost too small to notice. He activated the Sharingan, and he could see that the chakra in his hand was already slightly affected. He looked behind the handle and found a needle point so small it would have been invisible to even most ninjas. His Sharingan saw it though.

"Fuck. This is not good." He was sure someone had poisoned him, and he had no friends to turn to except for Kiria. He could only hope she wasn't part of this. He hoped not, but she would kill him if she was ordered to.

He wasn't feeling the effects of the poison yet, except for a slight tingling in the hand. He left the room casually and headed for Kiria's house. She was the only person in the Sound he could trust, and if Orochimaru hadn't ordered her to kill him he knew he could count on her to help him. The poison took him quickly in the street. He could see her house, but he knew he wouldn't make it.

He began to see black spots, and his arm went numb. He heard someone ask him, "are you ok?" but he couldn't respond. He felt arms catch him as he fell, and he hoped he'd be with someone other than whoever had poisoned him when he woke.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Ku ku ku ku," Orochimaru laughed in Kakashi's hospital wing.

Kabuto hadn't heard him laugh in a long time. It always meant something bad for someone, and this time probably Kakashi. He didn't want to see Orochimaru hurt Kakashi. Not only was the timing horrible with the treaty negotiations, but he was beginning to have a reluctant respect for the man.

"I don't know what you're planning," he said, "but won't this hurt our relations with the Leaf?"

"I know a lot of jutsus, Kabuto – over a thousand by now. I know a very useful one to make people forget things. There are a few difficulties with the jutsu. The biggest one is that the target has to be weak physically."

Kabuto looked at Kakashi lying quietly on the hospital bed, nude except for the bed sheet and the bandage Kabuto had wrapped over the Sharingan. "He's not very intimidating when he's unconscious," Kabuto said.

"Do you usually find him intimidating Kabuto-kun?"

"I'm sorry, sir. I shouldn't have said that."

"It's ok. Most people do find him intimidating. I find him irresistible. There's something about a Sharingan user that gets the blood racing," he said. "Give him something to bring him around, and have the antidote for the poison ready. Don't give it to him; just have it ready. You are sure you can give it to him in stages? I want him weak, but I don't want him to pass out."

"It isn't difficult," Kabuto said. "What else do you need me to do?"

"Just heal what damage I cause."

He locked the door and pulled the sheet off Kakashi, leaving him exposed. He ran his hand gently over Kakashi's chest. "His body might be damaged, but it's still beautiful. I could just take him while he's unconscious, but that wouldn't be nearly as fun. I like my prey to have some fight left in it when I eat."

Kabuto gave Kakashi the shot, and they watched as he woke, groggy and confused. "What happened?" he asked. "Why am I naked?"

"You were poisoned," Orochimaru said. "How much do you remember?"

"There was a needle on the toilet handle," Kakashi said. "Do you know who did it?"

"I know who did it," Orochimaru said, "because it was me." He began to chuckle, a deep, threatening sound to anyone unlucky enough to hear it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Oh fuck, _Kakashi thought. He hadn't heard Orochimaru laugh like that since he'd confronted him about Sasuke. Orochimaru had been toying with him then, and Kakashi thought he was probably toying with him now.

"Noni?" he asked. He would have to wait until his head cleared to understand. Whatever they had given him was making him dizzy and weak.

"A little joke," Orochimaru said. He took a small pill with some water. "Men my age need a bit of help at times," he said.

"What's wrong with my eye?" Kakashi asked, reaching for the bandage over his eye.

Tentacles shot out of Orochimaru's arms, and two of them pinned Kakashi's arms to the bed. "Leave that on," he said.

The look on Orochimaru's face reminded Kakashi of a snake watching a bird. "Your sense of humor leaves a bit to be desired," Kakashi said.

Orochimaru used two tentacles to hold Kakashi's legs still, and he leaned over Kakashi until their faces were close. "I'm sorry you think so," he said. "I'm certainly amused." His tongue flicked out and touched Kakashi's cheek.

Fighting the panic threatening to take him, Kakashi said, "we just finished negotiations. Attacking a diplomat is an act of war."

"Ku-ku-ku. Do you really think I'd do anything to endanger my village?" Orochimaru asked.

"Then let me go," Kakashi said. "We'll pretend like this never happened."

"Oh, I don't think so, Kashi-kun. I'm going to have you and have peace with the Leaf. You won't remember a thing later. You'll go home with your treaty, and I'll have this lovely memory."

A tentacle snaked from Orochimaru's arm and encircled Kakashi's chest. Kakashi closed his eyes as cold slime covered him. He had to fight the urge to vomit as the tentacle squeezed him. Under the soft exterior he could feel the hard core of the appendage.

"Get that off. It's disgusting," Kakashi said.

"I got the idea from your favorite book," Orochimaru said.

_Not that, _Kakashi thought, remembering the most shocking scene in the book - what the villain had done with the heroine. She almost hadn't survived. If Orochimaru did that to him he wouldn't live through it. Cold fear gripped him.

"Look how the little Leaf trembles, Kabuto," Orochimaru said. "I think he's afraid."

Kakashi panicked. Even though he knew it was foolish he tried the only thing he thought might have a small chance of helping him.

"Kabuto, you're my doctor. Don't let him do this to me. I won't survive it."

"I'm here to heal you afterward," Kabuto said. "I have to serve as I'm ordered. I'm sorry."

Kakashi's eye shot open as Orochimaru began to do things to him he'd read about, but that he didn't really believe could be done. Kakashi fought as hard as he could. He knew Orochimaru wanted him to fight, but he didn't care. He just wanted to get the madman off of him.

"That's more like it," Orochimaru said.

Kakashi managed to get an arm free, and he landed a good punch to Orochimaru's face. Orochimaru hit him in the knee, and Kakashi stopped fighting as the pain swept through him.

Orochimaru licked the blood dripping from his nose. "You'll pay for that," he said.

_This is it, _Kakashi thought. He'd given his body to his village in many ways, but this was never something he'd faced.

_It's just pain, _he thought. _It can't be nearly as bad as getting my face slashed through, or that time I had four broken bones on one mission. Pain is nothing._

He felt the pressure of Orochimaru leaning over his back. It wasn't the pain he feared. He didn't want Orochimaru inside him. He'd rather the man break every bone in his body and blind him than what he was about to do. The smell of snake covered him. He tried to use his mark to calm himself, reaching out toward Konoha. He felt nothing. _I'm too far away, _he thought. _It's just me and Anko, and she's so far away._

He closed his eye again and focused on the things that he lived for.

"You have a lot of friends. Konoha loves you." He remembered Tsunade saying.

He focused on memories of Naruto acting silly, of Sakura proudly showing him the new jutsus Tsunade had taught her, and of Jiraiya and him arguing when he was a child and Jiraiya was tending to him after his father's death.

_I promised Anko I'd come home to her, _he thought. He pictured her in her wedding dress – daughter of Fellenor. His bride waited for him. He'd live for her.

He didn't expect the sudden surge of pain as Orochimaru did dark jutsus, things that did worse to him than a mere physical attack could ever accomplish.

"That's right," Orochimaru said. "Fight me, you little slut."

He heard Orochimaru laugh. "He was a virgin, Kabuto. Can you believe that?"

"You hurt him too much," Kabuto said. "I need to treat him."

"Then give him a blood-pill," Orochimaru said. "I'm not stopping now."

Kabuto slipped the pill into Kakashi's mouth and broke it.

"Did that hurt, Kakashi-kun?" Orochimaru asked. "I hope you're comfortable."

"Fuck off," Kakashi said.

"I'm going to do twice as much for that," Orochimaru said.

Kakashi's bravado melted as he realized what he was about to suffer. "Fellenor be with me," he begged.

"Fellenor?" Orochimaru asked. "That old worn out god? You are at the mercy of the Snow god now, little one, and I am not merciful."

When Orochimaru was finished Kakashi felt empty and dead inside.

"Heal him, and clean him up, Kabuto," Orochimaru said. "I'm done with him."

Kakashi felt the healing chakra, and he lay stunned, waiting for them to finish with him. He wasn't even held down, but he couldn't fight. Everything hurt, and moving was out of the question.

"Clean him, and I'll do the jutsu. We'll put him in a clean bed, and after you give him a sedative and he wakes I have a story to make this seem reasonable."

Kabuto helped Kakashi to his feet and then to the bathroom, letting him lean on him as they went. He helped the filthy ninja into the tub. Kakashi was covered in slime, blood, semen, and fecal matter. He sat quietly in the tub, his eye unfocused and his body shaking.

Kabuto decided to work from the top down, saving the more intimate areas for last. Hopefully Kakashi would understand he wasn't going to harm him.

He washed slime out of Kakashi's hair and off his face. "Kakashi?" Kabuto asked.

He didn't respond. "Say something," Kabuto said.

"Anko," Kakashi whispered.

"That's right. She's waiting for you. You'll go home to her soon." _I can't believe I ever wanted Orochimaru, _Kabuto thought. He'd seen people tortured, but he had come to think of Kakashi as their diplomat. _I don't care what he said. Orochimaru is putting us all at risk._

"What…what?" Kakashi started.

"Yes?" Kabuto asked.

"What's going to happen to me now?" Kakashi asked. He blinked, and Kabuto thought he saw a bit of recognition.

"He's done with you," Kabuto said. "He's going to use a jutsu to make you forget all this. I'm sorry I couldn't help you, but my loyalty to him comes even before my devotion as a doctor."

"There is no shame in doing your duty," Kakashi said. "I'm surprised you aren't enjoying this."

"I'd like to kick your ass myself most of the time," Kabuto said, "but that was…unnatural. I hope I never see anything like that again."

He cleaned Kakashi's chest, seeing white skin again under the filth of Orochimaru. He hesitated to reach lower. He'd given patients baths before, and he wasn't squeamish, but he didn't want to traumatize Kakashi further.

He handed Kakashi the washcloth. "Can you clean yourself down there?" he asked. "I know you don't want to be touched."

Kakashi took the cloth, but Kabuto could tell he was still only semi-conscious. It sat in his hand, and Kakashi wiped at himself ineffectively, more smearing himself than cleaning anything off.

"Let me," Kabuto said, taking the cloth. He began to clean Kakashi, trying to move quickly but being as gentle as possible.

"Don't," Kakashi whispered.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Kabuto said. "I'm your doctor. Unless Orochimaru orders me to hurt you, you're safe with me."

Kakashi closed his eyes and leaned against the side of the tub. He whined slightly as Kabuto slipped the cloth under him.

"Nothing bad is happening," Kabuto said. "Think about Anko if it helps."

Kabuto emptied the tub, watching the tainted water drain. "Stand up and let me get the back," he said. Kakashi stood obediently, and Kabuto thought it was a bad sign that he wasn't even trying to assert himself.

Kakashi leaned on the shower wall, off of his bad leg and letting Kabuto tend to him. "Domo, Kabuto," he said.

"Don't thank me," Kabuto said. "I feel bad enough as it is. A good, honest fight is one thing; even torture is acceptable in the name of village safety or information gathering. This was wrong. He put us all in danger for his amusement."

"You're questioning him?" Kakashi said.

Kabuto scrubbed blood and feces off Kakashi's lower back. "I am a Sound citizen, and I've been betrayed. I'm only telling you this because you won't remember for very long."

"If I've opened your eyes at least this has some meaning," Kakashi said.

"I won't forget. That's for sure," Kabuto said.

"I'm moving lower," Kabuto said before he touched Kakashi where Orochimaru had invaded him. "I'm not going to hurt you."

He tried to get as gentle as possible, but when he touched Kakashi's anus he barely caught Kakashi as he fainted, almost falling face first into the tub. Since he'd been healed Kabuto assumed it was from stress and fear. "I'm so sorry," he said as he finished cleaning the unconscious ninja. He dried Kakashi and pulled him back into the hospital room. After he put him on a clean bed he quickly pulled a sheet over him, feeling the need to hide him from Orochimaru.

"You look uncomfortable, Kabuto-kun," Orochimaru said.

Kabuto fiddled with the sheet, not wanting to look at the man he had loved until only a short time ago.

"Orochimaru-sama, have I not always served you well?" he asked.

"Yes, you have," Orochimaru said.

"I would like to speak plainly to you sir," Kabuto said.

"Very well," Orochimaru said.

"Sir, I have never questioned your orders, but I can't believe you did this."

"Are you getting in touch with your Konoha roots, Kabuto-kun? You've seen people tortured before. Perhaps you have feelings for him yourself?"

"No, Orochimaru-sama. I have spoken out of turn. I'm sorry."

"You started this," Orochimaru said. "You might as well say what you're thinking."

"I'm a doctor," Kabuto said. "I've never felt such a conflict of interest. Please don't ask me to do that again."

"It won't happen again, Kabuto. He'll have a few neuroses at least because of this. Repressed memories mess with a person. Between that and the leg I doubt we'll ever see him again."

"I hope not," Kabuto said, looking at Kakashi. "I really hope not, for his sake."

"You have some sympathy for your old enemy," Orochimaru said. "I'm surprised."

"He is our hope for the future," Kabuto said.

"Then wake your hope up, and I'll cast the jutsu. We'll send him home, and then this is done."

Kabuto gave him a stimulant, and Kakashi woke. He turned away from Orochimaru.

"Turn him toward me," Orochimaru said. "I need to look into his eyes."

"It's almost over," Kabuto whispered as he grasped Kakashi's shoulders. "Let him cast the jutsu and you can go home."

Kabuto turned him onto his back, but Kakashi began to struggle. Orochimaru sent tentacles out to hold him.

"No. Oh god no," Kakashi said.

Kabuto turned his back. "I won't be a part of this again," he said. "Please call me if I am needed."

"I'm just holding him," Orochimaru said. "You forget your place. Face me and stand where you are."

Orochimaru took Kakashi's head and held his chin firmly. Kabuto watched Kakashi's wild eyes and labored breathing. Orochimaru had been keeping his hands free and using tentacles to restrain Kakashi, leaving his hands free. He performed a few quick hand-signs and placed a hand on Kakashi's forehead.

Kabuto saw Kakashi's eye droop and his breathing slow. Orochimaru pulled the bandage from Kakashi's eye. "Have the soiled bed taken away. He'll wake in a few moments, and I'll explain how he ended up here. We're done, Kabuto-kun. Your medic heart does you honor, but don't forget who gives the orders here."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama."

"The man blamed for the poisoning is already in jail. He'll be executed tomorrow."

"Who is it?" Kabuto asked.

"Hiriam Meshaw."

"But he's one of our jounin!" Kabuto said. "He's one of our most loyal ninjas."

"He's also a man who is Kakashi's old enemy. No one will question this."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto said.

Orochimaru waited until Kakashi woke. "How do you feel?" Orochimaru asked.

"I think someone poisoned me," Kakashi said.

"We know," Orochimaru said. "Do you remember a man named Hiriam Meshaw?"

"We had a run in years ago," Kakashi said.

"He made the mistake of getting a partner in this that got cold feet at the last minute," Orochimaru said. "He's been apprehended, and he'll be executed. You can leave as soon as Kabuto clears you."

Orochimaru left him with Kabuto. "Are you in any pain?" Kabuto asked.

"No. I feel much better. I'd like to go home as soon as possible."

"I'm sure you do," Kabuto said. "I want you to know I think better of you than when you came here."

"I suppose we all have to see things differently now," Kakashi said. "I never knew you were so dedicated to your work. I thought you were just Orochimaru's lackey, but I can see you're a doctor and a Sound Ninja first. You're still a little slime, but I can respect that."

Kabuto looked away. "Don't say that," he said. "You just don't know what you're saying to me."

"Take it as a compliment. You won't hear many from me. Enjoy that one."

"I won't forget anything that happened here," Kabuto said. "None of it."

"I'm sure none of us will," Kakashi said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kakashi had the oddest dreams, nightmares about giant squid chasing him. When he woke alone in the hospital room he wondered where the dreams had come from. He smelled snake, and a sudden fear made him pull his hitai-ate up and check for Orochimaru.

_Why am I afraid of him now? _He wondered. He had the urge to shower. He was glad they had a stronger soap in the hospital, but for some reason he just couldn't feel clean. He didn't stop until his skin was red and raw. _What is wrong with me today? _He wondered.

When Kabuto came back he took Kakashi's arm and frowned. "What happened here?" he asked. "You're bleeding slightly."

"Nothing," Kakashi said. "I'm fine."

"We had this talk about being honest with me before," Kabuto said. "What happened?"

"It's not important. I scrubbed a little hard in the shower."

Kabuto poked at Kakashi's arm. "Is this something you do normally?"

"No,"Kakashi said. "I just had an odd turn. There isn't a problem."

Kabuto healed Kakashi. "Is there anything else you need to tell me about?"

"There are a few other spots, but I'm not worried about it."

"I'll be the judge of what needs to be worried about here," Kabuto said. "Show me."

Kakashi lifted the sheet, and Kabuto saw that the areas he'd rubbed raw were the places he'd been held with the tentacles. He healed the spots. "I'm sure it's just nerves," he said.

"Probably," Kakashi said. "I'm glad we got the peace treaty, but it's been a rough time for me."

"I know," Kabuto said, and Kakashi wondered why he sounded sad.

"I want you to let Tsuande-sama know something for me," Kabuto said. "A personal message. Tell her that I remember what it meant to be a Konoha ninja. It took me a long time to reconnect with that part of myself, but something happened today that reminded me. Let her know that people live here who want peace."

"What happened to you?" Kakashi asked. "This isn't like you."

"Let's just say that something shocking happened earlier, and I see things differently now. I'm a Sound Ninja first. It's odd that it took remembering what Konoha meant to me to realize what the Sound means to me, but I know now."

"Why are you telling me all this?" Kakashi asked.

"Because I owe you an explanation, for personal reasons. Things are going to change around here."

"Good luck," Kakashi said.

Kabuto held out his hand. "I'm proud to know a man who gave so much to his village."

Kakashi shook his hand, wondering what was wrong with Kabuto.

Kabuto acted strange around him for the rest of the time he was in the hospital. He didn't look him in the eye often, and at times he seemed as if he wanted to say something, but he always stopped short.

Kabuto let him go in two days, wishing him well again. Kakashi was confused by his change in attitude. _It's why I came here though, _he thought. _I never thought he'd be the one to embrace Konoha so much. Perhaps there's still a bit of Konoha ninja under there somewhere._

_We're the ones who preach peace and acceptance. I'm supposed to be the diplomat here. _

"You're about as ready as you're going to be," Kabuto said.

"_What would Naruto do?" _ Kakashi wondered. Naruto was the ultimate diplomat, and Kakashi knew why. He reached out to other people with emotional pleas, but he meant every one.

He knew exactly what Naruto would do. He grasped Kabuto's hand firmly and looked him in the eyes.

"I forgive you," he said.

"What?" Kabuto asked. Kakashi wondered why he seemed panicked, but he supposed it was so unlike their normal interaction it was natural for him to be suspicious.

"That's what peace-making is really about, isn't it?" Kakashi asked. "Forgiving each other. We might as well be the ones to start it."

"For what it's worth, I forgive you," Kabuto said. "Let peace start with us."

It was awkward, but Kakashi knew he'd done the right thing. Kabuto seemed more at ease around him, and when he was ready to leave Kakashi felt that he had done good work.

When he left the hospital people went out of their way to say goodbye, some of them emotionally, and some of them more solemnly. When he returned to his hotel room he checked his belongings carefully and prepared for home. For some reason when he looked toward the toilet he had a brief thought of tentacles.

_That's odd, _he thought, but he gave it no further thought. He went out of his way to find Kiria, who hugged him openly. "Goodbye, ni-san. I know you probably can't come back to us, but I hope I can see you again."

"I hope so too," Kakashi said.

He almost felt so happy to be heading home that he couldn't wait for the wagon to arrive. Orochimaru met him as he was leaving.

"We set a good foundation here Kakashi," he said. He held his hand out toward Kakashi, and Kakashi was suspicious of the smirk on his face.

He felt an odd reluctance to touch his hand, and when he shook it he could have sworn it felt like slime. He barely kept himself from wiping his hand on his pants.


	9. Chapter 9

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Two jounin had been chosen to accompany him, and they were chattier than his escorts had been before. He decided to get to know them. They were his last link to the Sound Village, and his last chance to forge connections. H found out their names were Kio and Len. They'd never been south, and they'd been chosen because they had no connection or conflict with Konoha.

They all changed clothes once they were out of sight of the village. They would travel incognito. It was easier in a way. Even though they would have to travel slowly they wouldn't have to worry so much about Kakashi having to fight.

"Orochimaru-sama picked us specifically because we've never had any contact with Konoha," Kio said. "He hopes that the younger generation of ninjas will be able to make peace."

Kakashi thought he Kio have been 15. He'd think it was young for a Jounin, if he hadn't been one at less than half that age. Young or not he'd probably be formidable in a fight. Either that or Orochimaru was having more difficulty with the war against Konoha than he'd revealed. Young Jounins could also mean a lack of more seasoned warriors.

"We're only allowed to take you as far as the Fire Country border, but I hope we can visit Konoha someday," Len said. Kakashi had seen him in the Bingo book. He was a talented ninja, and someone to respect.

He enjoyed getting to know them, even if he had to be on his guard around them. He'd dealt with ambiguous situations before; morality was a complicated concept for him.

It was cold out – bitterly cold, and he noticed that the two jounin seemed especially aware of his physical problems. He felt offended, but he'd have to accept their help. The first day he let them build the fire and set up camp, feeling useless.

When he woke the next day, their departure was delayed while he tried to get his leg to straighten out. He didn't say anything, but he could feel it swelling as the day went along. He didn't get much sleep that night. The knee kept waking him up, and he had to adjust himself. Len was on duty, and Kakashi saw him watching him as he gave up on sleeping and tried to massage his knee.

"How bad is it?" Len asked.

_I'm so tired of people worrying about me, _Kakashi thought. "It's just stiff," he said.

"You're our mission," Len said. "It's our job to get you to the Fire Nation safely. Is there anything I can do?"

"There was barely anything Kabuto could do," Kakashi said. "Some pain reliever might help. It was doing better when we left the village."

"We'll get to a village in a couple days," Len said. "The villages are spread out in this part of the country. Can you make it until then?"

"I can make due," Kakashi said. "I've dealt with much worse."

The next day he couldn't sit in the seat for any amount of time. They had to move some supplies in the back and let him lay among them. He elevated the leg and slept fitfully through the day, waking occasionally when the pain was too much. His weird dreams about octopi attacking him didn't help.

When they reached the village they left Kakashi in the wagon while Kio bought the pain pills.

"It's a small place, and I had to talk an old lady into selling me her dead husband's pills," Kio said when he came back. "I had to listen to her talk about his cancer for an hour. If she wasn't a Snow citizen I might have cut the old bat's throat. The pills are really strong. She said to try a half dose first."

Kakashi rolled the pill in his hand. He'd asked for them, but he didn't really want to be impaired with Len and Kio.

"How strong are they?" he asked.

"Don't worry," Kio said. "We'll look after you. In a few days we'll be out of the mountains, and it's warmer on the plains. It will still be near freezing, but better than it is here. You'll be home in three weeks."

Len, who was older and obviously more experienced said, "I know you're probably worried about being out of it around us. In the Sound we respect ninjas disabled in battle. You're a hero to many of us. You're our mission, too. If we wanted to hurt you, you couldn't really do anything about it anyway. You might as well be comfortable. I'd like to return you in as good a shape as we can. Your Hokage is going to think we don't treat our guests well."

Kakashi took the pills, and soon the pain faded to a distant throb. His world faded to a blurry small place of jostling and mild hallucinations. He saw the clouds above him forming things, frightening things. For some reason octopi fighting each other were the main attraction, and he watched, fascinated.

But then the octopi came for him, and as he watched the tentacles reaching from the sky he tried to run. He couldn't move.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Len and Kio stopped when he heard him screaming. They checked on him, and when Len leaned over him he stopped and lay still. "Did you see that?" Kakashi asked. "The octopi are attacking."

"What was in those pills?" Kio asked.

"I don't know," Len said. "I think they might be too strong."

Kakashi mumbled about something and his eyes rolled upward. Kio wiped drool from his mouth. "I think we'd better give him a quarter of a pill next time," he said.

"At least he's not in pain," Len said.

"We could save a lot of time if we just carried him," Kio said. "I know we're supposed to stay in disguise, but the sooner he gets south the sooner that swelling might go down."

"We need to stick to mission parameters," Len said, "especially after what happened with the poison. We can't take the chance of being recognized. No one's going to know who he is all bundled up like that, but we're going to attract attention carrying him."

They moved on, pushing the horses harder than was wise. "We can buy more horses if we wear these out," Len said. "Our mission might be at stake here."

They didn't stop until they heard a groan from the back of the wagon. "I see Sleeping Beauty is awake," Kio said.

"Those were some pills," Kakashi said. "That old lady must really know how to party."

"Do you need more?" Len asked. "I think we'd better try a smaller dose this time. You gave us a fright there."

"Not yet," Kakashi said. "I don't want to see octopi again."

"Tell us when you need more," Len said. "We're pushing it to get to the Fire Country as fast as we can."

"That's good," Kakashi said. "Maybe you can meet Tsuande-sama before you leave."

"We have specific orders," Len said. "We're not to go past the border. After we turn you over to your own people we're to return immediately. I hope we can come to Konoha another time."

They waited until Kakashi passed out again to drive on. "I hope someday I might give as much for my village," Kio said.

"You younger jounins are naïve," Ken said. "It's great to give your body for your village, but it's much better to force the other guy to give for his."

"You're cynical," Kio said.

"No, just older and more experienced," Len said. "You'll see."

Kio looked back at Kakashi. "Maybe," he said. "I hope not. You don't fool me. I know how you feel about home."

"I'm not saying I wouldn't feel honored," Len said. "I'm just saying don't go hoping for something like that. There's no glory in war, kid."

"I'm not a kid!" Kio said. "I've had two A-rank missions."

Len chuckled. "I forget sometimes."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

When they came to the plains it was warmer. The snow had melted in an early spring, and even the brown grass and uncomfortably empty spaces didn't keep him from enjoying the relatively comfortable weather. He wouldn't let the Sound ninjas know how much he'd missed the simple luxury of a warm climate. They'd think it was weak of him.

In a couple days he was able to sit up front with the other ninjas, and he enjoyed their company. Kio annoyed him a bit, but Len was a man after his own heart. Len and Kakashi began to enjoy teasing Kio gently, stopping just before they crossed a line that would really make him angry.

He began to help with the camping duties, over the protests of Kio. Len didn't bother him about it. He probably understood more of what it meant to deal with a long term injury. He hated feeling helpless even more than he hated being injured.

As they moved south they began to shed clothing layers, but as Kakashi grew more comfortable the others began to sweat.

"How do you people live in this?" Kio asked. "It's like an oven."

"How do you live frozen most of the year?" Kakashi asked. "I suppose we all get used to what we grew up in."

"At least we didn't grow up in Rain Country," Kio said.

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "That place is nuts." He recognized the hypocrisy in his statement, but he didn't care. The Rain Country had to rebuild one of its major cities ever few years because of hurricanes. He couldn't imagine having to flee his home occasionally because it was going to be wrecked.

As they grew closer they began to see ash clouds from Mount Fellenor. It was as if his god was welcoming him home personally.

While they were camping that night they could see the distant red glow of lava.

"The mountain's erupting," Kakashi said. "It only happens once a century or so. You're in for a treat."

"Won't Konoha be destroyed?" Kio asked.

"No," Kakashi said. "We're far enough away that we're usually safe. We end up with a lot of refugees, but the main problem we have is from ash. We have to get it off the roofs, or they can collapse. There were a few times that the lava reached Konoha, but we just rebuilt. It's a type of lava that moves very slowly. Only crazy priests trying to get close to Fellenor die. Sometimes they get too close and burn up. We're used to rebuilding."

"Sounds like a lot of work," Len said.

"It is, but we don't mind. There's always a festival when the eruption stops, and we help the displaced people find new homes. They're considered blessed by the mountain."

"They're blessed because their homes are destroyed?" Kio said.

"The reason it's so fertile around there is that lava makes the best soil. The people who lose their homes are just a part of the mountain's life cycle."

"I wouldn't have thought of you as a religious man," Len said.

"I didn't either, until recently," Kakashi said. "I guess it's my wife's doing."

"You're married?" Kio asked. "Jounins get married in Konoha?"

"Of course," Kakashi said.

"Jounin don't get married very often in the Sound," Len said.

"Yeah. Women make men soft," Kio said.

"Not as much as you might think," Kakashi said. "She's like my partner."

"I'm never getting married," Kio said. "Women are a waste of time."

"I remember this one girl I was fucking in the Rain Village…" Len began. He looked at Kio. "Cover your ears kid."

Kio's faced turned bright red. "I know about sex," he said. "I'm not a virgin."

"Sure you're not," Len said.

Kio stood and walked away, muttering to himself.

"Virgin," Kakashi said.

"Most likely," Len said. "He's a good kid. If he wasn't such a little sexist I'd hook him up with my sister."

"He might grow out of that," Kakashi said. "I was like that at his age."

"Some guys mature. Once he discovers vaginas he'll find out why women are important."

When Kio came back he poked at the fire with a stick. "What's your wife like?" he asked.

Kakashi thought about Anko. He thought of her angry and defiant, fighting with her amazing genjutsus, struggling to save him from Orochimaru's grip. His favorite memory of her in her traditional wedding dress came to mind.

"She's like fire in human form," he said. "She's a true daughter of the mountain."

"Is it true that you have a jinchuuriki in Konoha that's hundreds of feet tall and can wreck a whole village?" Kio asked.

Len chuckled, but said nothing.

"He usually looks human," Kakashi said. "He is human."

Kakashi grew fidgety as they neared the fire border. He wanted to see home so bad he could taste it. The eruption had calmed, but the ash still fell, and every day they had to clear it from the cart. The main road was kept cleared, but it looked eerie as the people all went about masked.

"It's like a ghost country," Len said.

"I know," Kakashi said. "You're very lucky to see this."

Asuma met them at the border. Since the mission was coming to an end and they were in their own country Naruto and Asuma weren't wearing disguises. They wore masks to keep the ash off their faces, but Kakashi recognized them easily, even through the ash-haze.

Naruto jumped off their own wagon and ran toward them. Kakashi stepped down. He knew he was about to get a full-on hug, and he didn't want the two jounins thinking they were getting attacked.

"Oy, Kakashi!" Naruto yelled. "You missed the eruption. It was amazing!"

Kakashi disentangled himself. "Kio, Len, this is Sarutobi Asuma," he said, pointing to Asuma. "And the loud one is Uzumaki Naruto. You wanted to know about the jinchuuriki. Here he is."

"Hi," Kio said. "I've heard a lot about you. I thought you'd be taller."

Kakashi, Len, and Asuma all winced. "I'm tall enough," Naruto said. "You saying something?"

"I just thought the Leaf's jinchuuriki would look tougher," Kio said, eyeing Naruto.

"I'm tough enough," Naruto said. "You want to spar? I'll show you."

Kakashi decided he'd better step in. He smacked Naruto across the back of the head. "That's no way to welcome our guest. Apologize, baka."

"I'm sorry," Naruto said sulkily. "Welcome to the Fire Country."

"Now you, Kio," Len said.

"Sorry," Kio said. "I'm very glad to be here."

Len and Kakashi shared a look that said the same thing. _Kids._

He took his leave of the jounins and climbed into Asuma and Naruto's wagon. "It's so good to come home," he said, arranging his leg so he had the least amount of pressure on his knee.

"You look like hell," Asuma said.

"Good to see you too," Kakashi said.

"You missed a lot," Asuma said. "This is one of the biggest eruptions in history. We have over five hundred new people in Konoha. Everyone's been busy."

"It was amazing," Naruto said, "but Tsunade is going to kick your ass when she sees you."

"It's not that bad," Kakashi said. "I just had a lot of trouble with the leg."

"You don't look at yourself much in the mirror, do you?" Asuma asked.

"Just enough to keep the hair looking this spectacular," Kakashi said.

"You don't really notice change unless you're not around every day, but I bet you lost a good 20 pounds. You look a bit green around the gills there."

"It was a rough mission. I never knew how cold a place could be. It was hell on my knee. The thing swole up like a grapefruit several times."

"We're just glad to have you home," Naruto said. "We were afraid the barbarians would kill you."

"We're going to have to change that kind of thinking," Kakashi said. "They're different, but they're not bad people. I met a few you'd really like."

They still had several days until they made it through the sprawling countryside, thanks to the eruption. They had to change their route, and they saw tired families trudging away from the volcano. They didn't look like they felt very blessed.

Kakashi nodded in the seat. "I think it's time to stop," Asuma said.

"I want to get home," Kakashi said. "I can sleep in the back."

"In ash-fall?" Asuma said. "I don't think so. We'll pitch a proper tent."

Kakashi reluctantly admitted it was a good idea. Tsunade would already be mad at him. It was odd how she treated him as if every injury was his fault. Granted, he usually aggravated the problem, but he couldn't stop just because he was injured. The mission came first.

He tested his leg carefully before putting his weight on it. It held, and he started to pull their tent from the back.

"Let me," Naruto said. "You just sit down. We'll take care of things."

"I can take care of myself," Kakashi said. "I'm not a…" he stopped before the work "cripple" came out of his mouth. He didn't want to admit he was a cripple, but it was true.

"Naruto, why don't you see about getting a fire started," Asuma said.

When he was alone with Kakashi, Asuma said, "you need to let your friends help you right now. I know it's hard, but now that you're home I'm sure your leg will get better. It was probably just the mountains and the cold that made it that bad."

_As tactful as Naruto is blunt, _Kakashi thought. _I might as well give in for now. I'll just have to get used to this._

The closer they got to the village the harder it was to see, until Kakashi had to use a jutsu to see though the muck the air had become.

He'd never seen the village so beautiful, and it wasn't just because he was glad to be home. The ash fell onto the village like snow, and he saw a team of ninjas on the housetops keeping a constant flow of chakra into a jutsu to destroy the ash and keep the village safe. Little sparks flashed every time a bit of ash was burned, and it was like nothing he'd ever seen.

"I'm sorry I missed it," Kakashi said.

"Anko was a wreck," Naruto said. "She was just sure it was a sign you died. She's been at the temple for two days, ever since it started."

"Naruto, be quiet," Asuma said.

"Is she ok?" Kakashi asked.

"She's fine," Asuma said. "She's just been over there praying for your safety. You know how emotional she gets sometimes. I'll go over there as soon as I drop you off. Tsunade is probably at the hospital. There have been enough respiratory problems in the refugees that she just put a cot in her office there. I know you want to see Anko, but you should make your report first."

"You'll go see her for me though?" Kakashi asked. "I hate to think of her suffering."

"I'll go right there," Asuma asked.

"I'll go too," Naruto said.

"Why don't you come with me?" Kakashi asked. He didn't trust Naruto to keep from saying something to upset Anko on accident.

"Don't tell her I look bad," Kakashi said. "Just tell her I came home uninjured. I don't want her any more worried than she is."

People were camped in front of the hospital, and now Kakashi saw the festival atmosphere. The owner of Ichiraku's had set up a stand and was giving the refugees free food. Ninjas provided an impromptu police force and helped whoever needed them. People had hung clothes lines and wires between buildings with colorful red and white banners celebrating Fellenor's awakening.

Kakashi teared up a bit.

"You ok?" Asuma asked.

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "I just missed home so much."

Asuma had to let him off outside the impromptu tent city. "Can you get there ok?" he asked.

"Yes," Kakashi said. "Go check on Anko for me. I'm going to report and see if there's anything I can do to help."

The hospital was always a chaotic place, but today it was insane. People were camped in the waiting room, sleeping while leaning against each other. Some played games of cards or read under the flashing lights of the jutsus and the normal lamp glow of the city, and a few families were telling stories. Fire Temple Acolytes passed out bento boxes with smiles and blessings.

Someone brushed past him, accidentally bumping him. He managed not to put his full weight on his bad leg, but he lost his balance. The doctor who had bumped him caught him before he fell, and as she pulled him upright she said, "bless you brother," and passed on. It was amazing how an eruption could make people religious.

He checked in at the desk and tried to find some way to make himself useful. "We have a table outside where the refugees are registering," the nurse said, looking at his leg. "You might be useful there."

A table sat near the hospital, with a sign above it that said, "Welcome to Konoha, blessed of Fellenor. Register here. If you need assistance, please ask for help."

He found Iruka at the table, signing in people. There was a steady stream, and Iruka looked worn out.

"Yo," Kakashi said. "You need some help?"

"Do I ever," Iruka said. "I've been at it for a day now. We let school out until people are settled in, but there still isn't enough help to go around. Good to see you."

"Good to be home," Kakashi said. "It's a little different than when I left, but it's still beautiful."

"Just get people to fill in the form and answer their questions," Iruka said. "I'm going to get some sleep. You look bad. Are you cleared for this?"

"I guess so," Kakashi said. "There doesn't seem to be anyone to report to at the moment. This is more important."

He didn't add that Anko would find him here the easiest if she was looking for him in the hospital, which was where he'd told Asuma he'd be.

Iruka crawled under the table and lay there. He pulled his new jounin vest over his head. Kakashi took his poncho that he had traveled with and gave it to Iruka to put under his head.

"I just need a few hours," Iruka said.

"I can stay until I get other orders," Kakashi said. He was tired himself, but he hadn't come close to his limit, and he knew Iruka would work until he collapsed.

He worked for hours, registering the refugees. The flow finally let up about 2am. He didn't know if it was nearing the end of the flow, or if they were just settling down for the night wherever they were.

_Just like a flow of lava, _Kakashi thought.

He saw Anko trying to make her way through the crowd of tents, weaving and bobbing as she dodged piles of personal belongings. She was covered with a fine layer of ash, but he thought he'd never seen her look so beautiful.

Kakashi shook Iruka, who woke up with a grunt.

"Watch the table," Kakashi said.

He moved toward Anko as quickly as he could on a crutch, and when they reached each other she grabbed him, kissing him frantically. She held him so close it hurt his ribs a bit.

"I thought I lost you," she said. She began to cry. "When Fellenor erupted I thought he was grieving for you. I can't believe you're home."

She clung to him, and he stroked her hair. "It's ok," he said. "I'm home. It's all over."

"I kept a candle burning for you," she said.

"And I'm sure it helped," Kakashi said. "When was the last time you slept?"

"Not since before the eruption," she said. "I've been helping here and praying at the Temple. I was hoping Fellenor would notice me."

"Go home," he said. "I'll be there when I can."

"The hell I'm going home!" she said. "I'm staying with you."

"Then at least lie down and get some sleep," he said. He turned back to Iruka, who was rubbing sleep-deprived eyes.

"I'll take over again," Kakashi said. "You two sleep."

Anko and Iruka lay down near him, but every time he looked down he saw her looking up at him. "That's not sleeping," Kakashi said.

"I keep thinking that if I close my eyes you'll be gone," she said. "I kept having dreams that Orochimaru was killing you."

There weren't any people coming, so he sat on the ground beside her. With his knee problem he had difficulty lowering himself, but when he held Anko in his arms everything else paled.

They sat like that, with Iruka snoring beside them, until a Genin came to them. "Excuse me, Hatake-san?" she asked.

"Yes?"

"Tsuande-sama sent for you. She's in her emergency office in the hospital."

"Ok, are you needed anywhere else?" Kakashi asked.

"The Genins are floating at the moment," she said. "We're taking orders to do whatever is needed."

"We don't have any people here right now, but I've been registering the refugees. Iruka is worn out, and I don't want to wake him. Just sit here and have anyone who comes to you fill out this form."

He left Anko at the table. She didn't want to stay, but he knew that Tsunade would want his report in private. Tsunade looked as though she was barely staying awake. She was giving orders to a nurse when she saw him, and she waved the nurse off. "It's about time, brat. I gave you an easy mission, and you took your sweet time about it."

He put his hand in his pocket and shrugged, an action he knew irritated her. "I had a bit of a vacation while I was up there. I did some skiing, that sort of thing."

She flicked him on the forehead. "Baka," she said. "Welcome home. I hope you found Anko. She's been a wreck."

"She's outside with Iruka," Kakashi said. "I've been helping him with the refugee table. I can wait until a better time to report. The mission was a success, we have the treaty, and I made some good contacts."

"I might as well hear it now," she said, "or at least some of it. I'm sure more people will be coming in soon. The ash is letting up slowly, but it's wrecking havoc on people with respiratory problems. I think we've gotten to most of them. The ones who haven't made it here by now are probably either fine or dead."

"Where do you want to start?" Kakashi asked.

"Go down to room 221. I know it's open, and I want to give you a physical."

"That can wait," he said. "I'm not having any immediate problems."

"I'll decide what can wait," she said. "Have you been away so long you've forgotten how to take orders?"

"Of course not, Tsuande-sama. I'll go there right way." He knew better than to mess with her when she was tired. Her temper was volcanic.

He stripped in the room and put on the breezy hospital gown. With the cold weather he'd been so bundled up he hadn't noticed how bad his body looked. He wasn't much for paying attention to his appearance, and he just now noticed how prominent his ribs were. His skin was yellowish, and his face was gaunt.

He sat on the table and tried to think of the best way to avoid Tsunade's wrath. She came in soon after, and he knew by the look on her face he was about to catch it.

"Hatake Sanzi Jiraiya Kakashi. What the hell have you done to yourself?" she yelled. "That mask was covering up a disaster area."

_Oh fuck. She used my full name, _he thought.

"I can explain," he said.

"Can you?" she asked, her voice dangerously level.

"It's not my fault this time," he said.

"Isn't it?" she asked, her voice that same tense monotone.

"Whose fault is it then?" she asked. "I'd love to pay him a visit."

"I had trouble with the knee the whole time," he said. "I guess I didn't eat enough."

"You didn't eat enough? YOU DIDN'T EAT ENOUGH? How long have you been a ninja? Genin take care of themselves better than this."

_That was obviously the wrong thing for me to say, _he thought. "I didn't want to take any pain medication," he said. "I didn't want to be out of it on pain-meds in the middle of the Sound."

"What else happened?" she asked.

"I got the flu," he said.

"If you're going to lie to me at least make it believable," she said.

"No, really. Kabuto said my immune system is as bad as a civilians."

Tsunade pinched the bridge of her nose. "What else?" she asked.

"I got poisoned," he said.

"Who would poison our diplomat?"

"Someone I had a battle with years ago. Most of the ninjas put aside old differences, but there were a few who just couldn't get past it. One of them tried to kill me. Orochimaru had him killed."

"Are you sure Orochimaru wasn't involved?" she asked.

"If he was then he wouldn't have had Kabuto working so hard to help me," Kakashi said. "If it wasn't for Kabuto things would have been much worse."

"Kabuto again," she said. "I'm getting tired of hearing his name."

"He had a message for you. He wanted you to know he remembers what it meant to be a Konoha ninja, and that there were people in the Sound that were devoted to peace. It was very important to him."

"I hope he's not thinking of defecting," she said.

"No. I'm not sure what he was trying to tell me, but I think he was sincere."

"Enough about the Sound," she said. "I want to take a look at you."

He pulled open the gown and she ran a diagnostic jutsu on him. "You're a mess. You need to eat regularly, your leg won't ever be the same, and I don't know how long it will take to get your immune system back in order."

"Yes, Tsuande-sama," he said. _I might just live through this,_ he thought.

She frowned. "Wait. What's this?" A few minutes passed.

"Is there more you need to tell me?" she asked. "Were you assaulted in any way? I need to know."

"No. Everyone was gracious."

"This is me asking as your Hokage," she said. "I have reason to believe you were assaulted. What happened?"

"Nothing," he said. "No one hurt me while I was up there."

"Chakra healing leaves a mark for months," she said. "Not many people could find it, but I think someone hurt you badly, and not long ago. And someone did an unusual job. They left a marker in here, and it's louder than it should be – almost as if they wanted their work to be seen."

"I really don't remember anything," he said. "What did you find?"

"I don't think I should tell you yet," she said. "I'm going to have to have ANBU do retro-hypnosis on you, and I don't want to bias you. Our memories are amazingly fragile."


	10. Chapter 10

She did more analysis and let him leave with a few threats if he didn't take better care of himself.

"Come see me tomorrow night. I want the ANBU to deal with this while it's relatively fresh. I'm hoping my suspicions are just me being emotional. You and Anko are both under orders to go home and not leave until tomorrow afternoon."

"Thank you Hokage-sama," he said.

Anko was asleep at the refugee table, and the little Genin worked quietly around her and Iruka. "What's your name?" Kakashi asked the girl. He was impressed with her efficiency.

"Nara Lani," she said.

_That explains it, _he thought. He'd never met a Nara yet that wasn't good in a crisis.

He woke Anko. "Let's go," he said. "We have orders."

Anko sat up and looked around with a confused look. "You're still here," she said. "I thought I was dreaming."

"I'm real," he said. He thought she might be stressed for some time. Anko had never struck him as the most stable of ninjas, and he knew that him being that close to Orochimaru must have really been hard on her.

"What are our orders?" she asked after they left.

"Tsunade said we're to go home and not leave until tomorrow afternoon. We might get a little bored. I wonder whatever we will do with the time. I can think of a few things," he said, "but after you get some sleep."

As soon as they closed the door she pushed him against the wall and began kissing him.

"Anko stop," he said. "You've been awake for days, and I know how we get."

She ignored him and pulled his pants open roughly, sending the buttons flying as she tried to get to him. He knew if they started making love now they wouldn't stop until the next day, but he couldn't bring himself to really try to stop her.

They barely made it to the bedroom in their excitement.

"I missed you so much," she whispered.

They made up for lost time, and he was actually surprised to see a dark, ash-darkened dawn. He heard street noises as the village woke and began the day.

"We really need to get some rest," he said. "Just one more time."

Once more turned into three times, and then they stopped. No one called them away from each other, and they slept until night. He woke when he heard a knock, and he saw it was dark again.

Jiraiya was waiting for him. "Welcome back kid. Tsunade told me to get you out of bed and down to police headquarters. Did you get some "quality time" with Anko?"

"About 10 hours," Kakashi said.

"Not bad," Jiraiya said. "I assume you're lying, but whatever."

"Well, not all at once," he said. "I'm not a machine."

"So what's up?" Jiraiya asked. "Tsunade didn't tell me anything about your mission. She said there were problems, but she didn't want to say anything else until she knew for sure. She was really upset though."

"I'm not sure what's going on myself," Kakashi said. "I haven't even given much of my report yet. She never really got past the physical exam. She thinks I was injured, and that I'm not telling her."

"Did she say why?" Jiraiya asked.

"She said that chakra healing left a mark she could see. My knee was messed up, but I didn't actually get injured up there."

"She's the best doctor in the world," Jiraiya said. "I doubt she'd be wrong about something like this."

"Um, I know you two are close," Kakashi said. "This isn't a criticism, but she's really emotional, and she's been worried about me. Do you think she might have been looking for something wrong?"

"We'll find out," Jiraiya said. "Tsunade said they're doing reto-hynosis, and they're using Lion. He's the best. I had retro-hypnosis once. It didn't hurt or anything. It was kind of weird."

"What did they do it to you for?" Kakashi asked.

"I couldn't remember a few details about a mission. It was weird how much I could remember when they were done. It was like I knew everything, every color, and all the smallest noises."

"So sort of like using the Sharingan," Kakashi said.

"Probably, from what you've told me."

"Why did she send you?" Kakashi asked. "I thought you'd be busy out there helping around the village. I'll be out there myself tonight."

"She thought I might be useful. She said you should have family with you right now."

The village was already more organized. He could see more light now, with the ash letting up. He would have asked if they needed help with the chakra shield, but he didn't have much chakra. The Hatake White Chakra came at a cost; there never seemed to be enough of it. He'd find something he could do. There were enough things that needed to be done around the village to keep him more than busy.

"I'm here for you kid," Jiraiya said. "I don't know what you got yourself into this time, but I'm sure it's one hell of a thing to need an ANBU and two sanins."

A Chunin showed him into one of the special interrogation rooms. Instead of the usual empty concrete room with table, chair, and light this one was comfortably furnished, with a leather sofa and a more office-like atmosphere. It was generally used when the "good cop, bad cop" method was needed, or…

_Or for torture victims during de-briefing, so they feel more comfortable, _Kakashi thought. "This is not good," he said.

Tsunade and Lion were waiting for them. "I'm going to leave you with Lion," Tsunade said. "I'm sure you know how this works."

"I've never had it done, but I know the general idea," Kakashi said.

"He'll report when he's finished," Tsunade said. "I'll be back to speak to you afterward."

When he was left alone with Lion, the ANBU directed him to sit on the couch and pulled up a chair to sit in front of him.

"Tsuande-sama thinks you might have been attacked and either blocked the memory or had it blocked with a jutsu," Lion said. "I'm going to take you back through the memory. We'll probably do this twice. The first time I'm going to instruct you to forget what you remember. I'll report to Tsunade, and she'd decide what course to take from there."

_Overreacting a bit much, Tsunade? _Kakashi wondered.

"Let's begin," Lion said. "I want you to sit back and relax." He performed a jutsu and Kakashi felt pleasantly drowsy.

"You're going back a day, two days, a week. You're going back…"

His voice grew quieter, and Kakashi dozed off.

The next thing he knew he was waking up, still sitting on the couch.

"Are you with me?" Lion asked. "Where are you?"

"Police headquarters," Kakashi said. "What did you find out?"

"I got the information Tsuande-sama was looking for. I need to report to her. She'll give you more instructions."

He knew better than to push an ANBU for information. He wouldn't get any.

"This might take some time," Lion said.

Kakashi pulled out his Icha-Icha book. He hadn't read in months, but for some reason he just couldn't get into it. He'd always loved the series, but for the first time he found it more disturbing than enjoyable. He put it away, feeling confused. It felt like he'd lost something. That part with the tentacles had always fascinated him. For some reason it made him feel nauseous.

He tried to remember when he might have been attacked. He couldn't think of a time. He'd been unconscious several times, but there wasn't any time he could remember when he might have been attacked.

When he grew bored he looked at his watch. _It can't be 4 am, _he thought. He'd gotten here about 8 last night. _Have I really been under that long?_

He got tired of waiting and stretched out on the couch. Anko took a lot of energy. He slept, but after the second time waking up from dreaming about octopi attacking again he gave up. _What is it with me and octopi lately? _He wondered.

When Lion came back he brought Tsunade. "I'll be doing the jutsu again tomorrow," Lion said. "I had to wade through months of information, and I don't have enough chakra left to do the jutsu again right now."

Kakashi noticed that Lion's shoulders slumped as he left the room. "I wore the guy out I guess," he said.

"Not so much," Tsunade said. "It takes a lot of chakra to use that jutsu for as long as he did, but that's not why he's tired. Lion had a difficult time personally with this assignment."

"Was it that bad?" Kakashi asked.

She sat down by him. "I'm not sure how much information I should give you right now. I'm going to have Ibiki here tomorrow night to help. He's had personal experience with torture, and he usually helps torture victims." She looked away, and Kakashi heard her clear her throat. When she looked back her eyes were wet, but her face was composed.

"Torture? Wouldn't that have affected me somehow? I'm fine."

"Lion said a strong jutsu was used on you to make you forget. I'm sure over time it will affect you. I know you need to know what happened, but we need to wait for Ibiki. I'm a medical doctor, not a psychologist. Go home. Spend time with Anko. You deserve a rest."

She wouldn't tell him anything else. He trudged home through the fine layer of ash that had made it through the jutsus set to destroy it before he hit the ground. Hundreds of Naruto's clones still protected the village, but even his massive chakra couldn't make enough clones to stop all the ash, and even with his super-human stamina the boy had to rest eventually.

Kakashi tossed his vest on the couch and went to the kitchen for a drink. Two fingers of whiskey and a grilled cheese later he felt ready to face Anko.

_Maybe if I'm really careful I won't wake her, _he thought, but as soon as he opened the bedroom door she sat up in bed, half-nude and wiping sleep from her eyes.

"How was it?" she asked. "What did they find out?"

"Tsuande-sama won't tell me," he said, and then he waited for the explosion. He never knew if Anko's fears for him would turn to tears, action, or anger.

"Did she tell you anything?" Anko asked.

"She said I need to speak with Ibiki tomorrow. Apparently he deals with torture victims."

"Torture?! Are they sure?"

"They're serious about it. Whatever happened is over. I'm home and you're here. Fellenor even seems to have welcomed me back personally. Things are fine now."

"Things are never fine where Orochimaru is concerned," Anko said. "I can't believe I actually thought he might have changed."

"I don't even know that it was him yet," Kakashi said. "He encouraged the village to accept me, but I still have enemies up there. I know one of them poisoned me."

"What happened to that person?" Anko asked.

"Orochimaru had him executed," Kakashi said. "I don't remember anyone even suggesting they were going to attack me."

"Did Orochimaru have him tortured or publically displayed?" she asked.

"No, he was just killed the next day," Kakashi said.

"That's not his style," Anko said. "If he was acting like he used to that man would have been a public spectacle for at least a week. Public torture of traitors is a more like something he would do.

"It _was_ a regular practice for him," Kakashi said. "That was over a decade ago when you knew him."

"We'll see. Do you want me to go with you when they bring the memories out? I blocked memories of some of the things Orochimaru did when I was a kid, and it was horrible when I suddenly knew all of it."

"You never told me," Kakashi said.

"I didn't want you to think of me that way," she said. "That's what happened a week after I got back."

"I wondered why they would send you on a mission that soon after you returned."

"I was in the hospital," she said. "Kurenai was with me. Sarutobi even visited me sometimes."

She fell back asleep, but Kakashi couldn't rest. In spite of his words he was worried. He had a feeling that Orochimaru was the one who had hurt him. He didn't think he had given up village secrets, or he'd be in a jail cell right now.

He busied himself in the village later, helping build temporary housing for the new families. Some of them were accepting new land further from the volcano, but a number of them wanted to stay in Konoha. Many of the younger country folk were infatuated with the big city, and Tsunade was concerned about them being taken advantage of.

XXXXXXXX

Kakashi had the luxury of blocked memories, but three people in the village knew what had happened to him. Lion sat in his house, turning his ANBU mask over in his hands. The mask stood for everything he believed in. He'd done amazing and hideous things wearing that mask, and it was almost alive to him.

He studied the mask, and he touched a chip in the edge where a sword had nicked him. He'd almost died from the three wounds he'd gotten in that fight, but he'd completed his mission. He'd returned with broken bones and a bad infection. He touched the scar across his face. He'd given a lot for his village, but Kakashi had given more than he could imagine. He shuddered and put the mask on the table. He hoped that if Tsunade took a covert revenge she included him in her plans. He wanted to help bring vengeance against a man who would injure a peaceful diplomat.

XXXXXXXXXX

Ibiki sat in his office working on paperwork and trying to keep his mind on what he was doing. Lion had given him an oral report. There was no sense putting this on paper. Ibiki felt protectiveness over Kakashi now. He was his mission, and Ibiki would be damned if some bureaucrat would read about Kakashi being raped. No. This would stay between those who had to know, and Ibiki would kill to protect this secret if he needed to.

_I'm taking this too personally,_ he thought, but it didn't change anything. He'd always become personally involved in the torture cases, and if he suffered as a result it didn't really matter to him.

Haruno Sakura entered carrying a med-kit. "We got word that you need someone to see to a prisoner?" she said.

"I'm surprised they sent you," Ibiki said. "I expected a low-level medic."

"I was off duty," she said. "Everyone is busy right now, so I volunteered."

"He's this way," Ibiki said. "I got the information out of him that I needed, but I hurt him more than I meant to."

Sakura treated the prisoner. "He'll heal," she said. "Try to restrain yourself, though. We don't have time for things like this."

"Interrogation is an art, not a science," Ibiki said. "Sometimes the brush slips."

"Well, see that it slips less," Sakura said. "An artist should have more control over his medium." She left him feeling suprised. People didn't talk to him like that. It was a bit like a kitten hissing at a bulldog.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was Tsunade who suffered the most when she learned what had happened to Kakashi. She had taken Lion's report with as calm a face as she could, but when he left she gave in to an impulse she rarely indulged in.

She buzzed Shizune. "Summon Jiraiya," she said. "Tell him to drop whatever he's doing and get here immediately."

She crossed her office and stood, looking out of the massive window toward the Hokage monument. Her forefathers faced her from the rock, guiding and judging her.

"What should I do?" she asked them.

Jiraiya found her that way, her arms behind her back and her hands clasped together.

"You called for me?" he asked.

She took a fresh sake bottle from her desk and drank half of it in one long swallow. Jiraiya watched the neck muscles work as she drank.

"If we were to launch a full invasion into the Sound how long would it take to completely wipe the place out?" she asked.

"Noni?" Jiraiya asked. "I thought we were going to have peace with them. What happened?"

She turned away from him and played with a knick-knack on a shelf, a small porcelain snail someone had given her. "Did you know I cut Kakashi's umbilical cord? He was my first birth."

"I didn't know that," Jiraiya said. "I knew you and Sakumo were close, but I didn't know you were the attending doctor when Kakashi was born."

"I diapered that brat," she said. "When his parents were out on missions I fed him and cared for him like he was my own." Her voice broke as she couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

She dropped the sake bottle, and even before it had shattered against the hard-wood floor she was holding Jiraiya, her face buried in his shoulders and her tears soaking his shirt.

Jiraiya just let her cry. He knew she'd tell him what was wrong when she was ready.

"I love him," she said. "It hurts so much to know what happened."

"Is this about his visit with Ibiki?" Jiraiya asked.

"Lion said he was raped," she said. "He said Orochimaru tortured him and almost killed him by raping him so viscously Kabuto could barely save him."

Jiraiya didn't say anything, but the tears started to flow from his own eyes.

"I'm sorry," Tsunade said. "I shouldn't have told you. This is my burden, not yours."

"No," he said. "Two people I love are hurting. It's my burden too. Where is he? I should be with him."

"He doesn't know yet. I sent him home to be with Anko. Lion was at the limit of his own endurance, and I want Kakashi to have a bit more time before he has to face this."

"If he's ok for the moment I'll stay here with you," Jiraiya said. "The village can take care of itself for the night. You need me more right now."

"The worst part of this is that I can't wipe that stinking village off the map," Tsunade said. "After everything Kakashi went through to make peace I can't sacrifice his work for my need for revenge."

"We'll find a way later," Jiraiya said. "Orochimaru won't get away with this. For now let's just focus on Kakashi. Revenge can come later."

The sat together on her couch, holding each other and crying quietly until they fell asleep in each other's arms.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kakashi took lunch the next day at one of the many impromptu cafeterias that the Naras had organized around the city. He voluntarily paid over 10 times what his meal was worth. Those who could afford food and supplies paid what they could afford so that the destitute families could have what they needed. He had enough high level missions that he could pay a good deal. He didn't mind. He'd been blessed, and he was glad to share it with his fellow Fire Citizens.

"It's amazing how this has changed my perspective on things lately," Kurenai said as they sat under a tree eating together.

The makeup of the place had changed since he'd left, with the bright colors of the villagers clothing replaced with the more somber browns and greens of the farmers. They were a serious people, but even they seemed to have absorbed some of the excitement of the town at their arrival.

"Has there been any disease?" Kakashi asked.

"Not much," she said. "The Naras have really done amazing things here. They're an amazing clan."

"They really are," Kakashi said. "If they weren't so busy dealing with clan business all the time we probably would have had a Hokage from them." It wasn't likely to ever happen. The men were lazy unless the village needed them, and the aggressive Nara women were usually too busy "handling" their men – as they put it. He'd been attracted to a Nara girl when he was younger, but he hadn't done anything about it. The Naras were a good tribe, but there was just too much drama for his taste.

"I've been wanting to talk to you about Anko," he said.

"I wondered when you'd find me," she said.

"I didn't know about all the things that happened when she was younger until recently. Did I miss things I should have seen? I feel so guilty for letting you both down. I hate the thought that she needed me and I didn't even know."

"You didn't let us down. She didn't want you to know. Did you know she loved you back then?"

"I didn't know until I got sick after my last mission," he said, careful to keep his cover about his first trip to the Sound. "It surprised me. Anko keeps me surprised."

"She keeps all of us on our toes," Kurenai said. "Her love for you kept her going when we were kids. You wouldn't believe the silly ideas she had about you. She idolized you."

The thought bothered him. "I've never been worth that," he said.

Kurenai shrugged and wadded her sandwich wrapper into a ball. "It kept her going, and that's all that matters. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a line," she said, pointing to one of the porta-potties in the new tent city. He saw people of all classes socializing together. _It won't last, _he thought, _but it's beautiful while it does. _Pride in his village filled him. It was one of the reasons Konoha had lasted as long as it had. _We can overcome anything, _he thought.

He didn't hate doctors, but he hated what they did to him. He'd dealt with them so many times he'd actually become good at hiding from them; he'd developed a sixth sense about it. All day long he dodged medical types and people who seemed to be messengers. He knew he'd end up in the police station again, but that didn't mean he couldn't put it off for as long as he could. It wasn't as if he was in any danger.

He was helping a crying five year old find her parents when he felt an angry presence behind him. He spun quickly as the killing rage of chakra reached him, and his hand was already on his kunai before he realized it was Sakura glaring at him. It was 10 pm, and he should have reported to Ibiki hours ago.

"Hello, Sakura," he said. He knew why she was mad. "I would have reported earlier, but…" he tried to think of a lie and realized the truth would serve better this time. He patted the child that was hugging his leg and sniffling. The girl was holding him tightly while she looked fearfully at Sakura. She was beginning to hurt his knee a bit.

"I had to help this girl find her parents," he said.

"And you've been doing that all day?" she asked.

"I've been doing the holy work of Fellenor," he said, glad that she couldn't see the grin under his mask.

"So you haven't been avoiding the medical corps after being away for so long behind enemy lines and coming back looking like you were dragged through hell?" she asked, her voice full of oncoming storms. "I don't know what you did, but Tsunade is really angry at you."

"Er, sorry," he said, scratching the back of his head. _I might have pushed it a bit far this time,_ he thought. "I've been busy. I'll report now. Can you help Jonni here find her parents? She saw them around here last."

Sakura pulled Jonni's hand away from gasping Kakashi's pants leg. Sakura crouched, and Kakashi saw all the anger immediately leave her face. She handed Jonni a bit of candy and introduced herself. Jonni immediately trusted her and let Sakura pick her up.

"Trusting types, aren't they," Kakashi said. "Those farmers are going to have a rough time here."

"Asuma is holding classes to help them assimilate," Sakura said. "We're going to keep an eye on them."

When he got to the police station he found Ibiki in his office, digging through a pile of paperwork that stacked higher than his head.

"You sure took your time," he said. "I've had people out looking for you for hours."

Kakashi couldn't help but feel a little smug. The police force had been looking for him, and he'd been able to hide in the middle of the village. _Yeah, I'm good, _he thought.

"Sorry," he said. "I was helping out with the refugees."

Ibiki grunted. "Go to the same room you were in yesterday. I'll call for Lion."

Kakashi tried to settle on the couch comfortably, but he was nervous. He hadn't really thought they'd find much. He had really expected to either find out that Tsunade had been over-anxious about him, or that she was seeing what Kabuto had done with his knee.

He'd been unconscious too much up there, and there was no telling what had been done to him. He didn't think it was Kabuto. He would have suspected the medic-nin of trickery, but he'd been on the field enough to develop certain instincts about people. There was something about their interactions that just seemed genuine. The only abnormality was how he'd acted the last time he'd treated Kakashi. It was almost as if he was ashamed of himself.

_I wonder if he had something to do with it, _he thought, remembering how Kabuto had reacted when he'd thanked him, as if he was guilty of something. _I'll find out soon enough. _It wasn't a comforting thought.

He was almost glad when Ibiki and Lion arrived. He just wanted to be done with this so he could get back to his life.

"Here's how this is going to happen," Ibiki said, with his usual no-nonsense manner. "I've probably been through more torture than anyone who hasn't ended up a drooling puddle in the old ninjas' home. I can help you though this, but you have to trust me. I'm your lifeline, Kakashi. Remember that."

_He has the subtly of a brick through a window, but he knows what he's doing, _Kakashi thought.

"I've never lost anyone yet," Ibiki said, "and I've had a few really difficult cases. If you don't give up, I won't give up, and if you give up I'll kick your ass and we'll keep going. Understood?"

Kakashi nodded. He'd heard about this side of Ibiki, the (relatively) soft counselor. Compared to the monster that he was as an interrogator he was practically a teddy bear today.

"I'm going to do that jutsu I did yesterday," Lion said, "but I'm going to add a twist. You'll remember what you see. You won't feel the same pain or emotions as the first time. You're going to feel like you're watching this from outside. It's going to be confusing, and some of the emotions you felt might leak into your current thoughts. I have to warn you; I've done this for Ibiki before, and I've never seen anything like this."

Kakashi gulped. "Then what?"

"Then we deal with the aftermath," Ibiki said. "Who do you want me to contact if you need to go to the hospital?"

He almost said Anko, but then he thought what it would do to her. She was still getting over him being with Orochimaru so long, and he knew how fragile she was on the subject.

"Jiraiya," he said. "He was always there for me before."

Lion tied the end of a string around Kakashi's wrist. "You'll have this on your wrist in the hypnotic state as well. If it becomes too much for you, tug on it in the dream, and you'll pull on it out here. I'll pull you out of the trance, and when you can continue we will. It's better if you can get through it all at once. It's harder for patients who have to do this in stages.

You'll have an odd perspective on this, as if you're seeing from outside yourself. The jutsu makes you assume you can see things from a 3rd person perspective, so that you can judge for yourself what's happening. It's not entirely accurate, but it's close enough."

"Let's do this," Kakashi said. "I want to be done with this."

Ibiki nodded at Lion, who performed almost the same hand seals as the day before, with a few alterations. Kakashi found himself back in the hospital room with Orochimaru and Kabuto. The room was in full detail, but the figures of Orochimaru and Kabuto were blurry.

_Fuck, _he thought. _It was Orochimaru._

Orochimaru made his little joke, and Kakashi could see the relief on his own face when Orochimaru said it was a joke.

"Kakashi, can you hear me?" he heard Lion ask. He looked around, but Lion wasn't anywhere.

"I can," Kakashi said. "Where are you?"

"I'm contacting you through the jutsu. Do you have the string around your wrist?"

He looked down at his lifeline, glowing softly. "I do," he said. "Is this how you saw things last time?"

"No," Lion said. "Yesterday I saw things through your eyes. Today your brain is filling in the details. The reason Kabuto and Orochimaru look fuzzy is that you didn't know what their bodies and faces we're doing all the time. As your mind becomes more attuned to this they'll become more distinct. I'm going to speak to you occasionally, to make sure you are aware that it's just a jutsu."

He heard Orochimaru laugh, and the hairs on the back of his neck prickled. That was the stuff of nightmares. He was nude and his eye was bound. He hadn't had an eye injury.

When he tried to pull the bandage away he saw Orochimaru grab him with tentacles.

"Are you ok?" Lion asked, his voice echoing slightly in Kakashi's head.

"Tell me I'm not about to see what I think I'm about to see," Kakashi said.

"I warned you it was going to be bad. Just stay with me, and you won't have to do this again."

Orochimaru let his tongue flicker on his face. Kakashi felt more angry than frightened now. "You son of a bitch!" he yelled, even though he knew Orochimaru couldn't hear him. "I came to you in peace!"

Kakashi could still feel his body even though he was in the trance, and when a tentacle snaked out and grabbed him his body jerked outside the trance.

"It already happened," Lion said. "Remember that." Kakashi had a multitude of feelings now. He could feel his present body, sitting on the couch. But he could also feel the cold slime covering him.

"No wonder I don't want to read Icha-Icha Paradise right now," he said, remembering the tentacle rape scene when Orochimaru mentioned it.

He begged Kabuto to help him, but Kabuto had his own duty to perform. Kakashi noticed that even in the beginning Kabuto didn't like what he was doing.

"Breath, Kakashi," he heard Lion say. "It's not really happening. You're holding your breath out here."

Kakashi focused on making himself breathe. He almost pulled the string on his wrist. He had a feeling he knew what was coming next, and he really didn't want to see it. He stopped himself. He didn't want to have to do this again.

He could remember his own thoughts, although it was as if someone else was narrating them in his voice, and he remembered his panic as he'd realized what Orochimaru had meant to do to him.

He thought of the things he loved, of the woman who he'd be going home to, and when he cried out to his god and Orochimaru mocked him, Kakashi felt even angrier.

When Orochimaru violated him heard himself scream in the police station room, and he felt hands on him.

"Calm down, Kakashi", Lion said. "Pull the string if you've had too much."

"No," he said. "I don't want to come back here."

"I've set the jutsu up so that you have complete control," Lion said. "I can't pull you out until you're ready or you pass out."

He knew he shouldn't feel shame; none of this was his fault. But as he watched Orochimaru mock him he felt very aware that Lion was watching all this. When Orochimaru called him a slut he almost felt like one.

Kabuto treated the injury Orochimaru had given him, and Kakashi could hear actual concern in his voice. After Orochimaru performed the SU jutsu that left him more sensitive he could hear his screams in the current world matching the screams in his memories.

"Kakashi, get out!" Lion ordered.

He couldn't pull the string. He couldn't move, even in his own mind. He watched as Kabuto healed him, handling him gently. The young medic obviously cared for him now, and Kakashi felt himself seeing Kabuto as a sort of protector.

_Stockholm syndrome, _he thought. _Don't do this._

He watched Kabuto bathe him as if he was an elderly patient. _I don't know how I'm ever going to face him again, _Kakashi thought. He probably wouldn't have to see him again anyway.

He hadn't understood the significance of Kabuto's reactions to him trying to reach out to him until now. _He wanted to help me. I wonder if he could be turned against Orochimaru._

_He really thought of himself as my doctor. At least it's over. _

Kabuto had warned him before he touched him where Orochimaru had done the most damage, but Kakashi suddenly felt a break in the memory when he fainted in the bathtub.

His next memory was of a clean bed and the contradictory feeling of being freshly clean and somehow filthy inside. He had turned away from Orochimaru, unable to handle any more.

Kabuto spoke gently to him again, but he forced him onto his back, facing Orochimaru. Kakashi was just regaining control of himself as he watched Orochimaru and Kabuto deal with him in the past. _It's almost over, _he thought with relief. In just a moment Ibiki and Lion could help him deal with this.

Then the tentacles restrained him again, and even though his reaction in the past had simply been to beg Orochimaru not to hurt him again, his reaction in the present was severe. His mind had been overworked, and it simply refused to handle more.

Just as he heard Kabuto disobey a direct order from Orochimaru he found the will to pull the string attached to his wrist, and he found himself laying on the floor with Ibiki and Lion bending over him.

His bruised mind couldn't make the two scenes make any sense. "It didn't happen," Kakashi said. "Say it didn't happen."

"What you're going through is normal," Ibiki said. "Don't try to deal with it all now."

"It's not real," Kakashi said. He could only think about the tentacles touching him, the cold slime covering him, that horrible pain that he'd never forget. He pulled his arms around himself, and his knees to his chest, protecting his body.

He closed his eyes, shutting the world out. He couldn't make it go away. He could feel the tentacles on his arms, holding him down so Orochimaru could puncture him again. He pulled at them, trying to get them off. He felt hands instead of tentacles, but he wasn't fooled. He scratched and pulled, trying to free himself. He felt the tentacles dig into his skin, peeling it away.

"Kakahsi, stop!" he heard Lion say, but when he opened his eyes hopefully he saw Orochimaru and Kabuto trying to pull his hands away. Blood covered their hands, and he saw that he was bleeding on himself where the tentacles had bound him.

They hadn't thought to restrain his legs yet, so he kicked Kabuto in the chest, using his bad leg to surprise them. He lost the advantage the element of surprise had given him as he had a moment when pain stopped him from moving. It was just a moment, but Orochimaru was fast, and he locked his legs over Kakashi's knees, holding him fast and putting pressure on his bad knee. His legs were being held open, and he knew that soon Orochimaru would be pulling off his clothes so he could violate him again.

"No," Kakashi said. "Not again. Please, not again. I came to you in peace."

It was Orochimaru's face he saw, but he heard Ibiki's voice. "Lion, get the handcuffs and syringe from my belt. We're going to have to sedate him. I was afraid this might happen."

"Ibiki?" Kakashi asked, confused by the voice he heard. He had been with Ibiki, or had he? Two worlds had blurred together, and he didn't know which was real.

"He knows who you are," Lion said. "Is it necessary to restrain him?"

"It could be a trick," Ibiki said, "or he might be confused again at any time. He's too strong, even injured. Cuff him."

He watched Kabuto moving toward him with the handcuffs, and when they turned him onto his stomach, he knew what was coming. He kicked out with his good leg, but he didn't hit anything.

"Dad, Oji-Jiraiya, help me," he begged even though they weren't there.

"Give him the shot," Ibiki said. "It will at least give him some relief. I don't want him conscious when the medics get here. They'll have to move him, and being touched by strangers is the last thing he needs right now."

The last thing he felt was a needle entering his skin.


	11. Chapter 11

Kabuto – the real Kabuto and not Kakashi's hallucination – was having problems in the Sound. He was trying to focus on figures dealing with the cloning program, but he was having problems. He kept thinking about Kakashi lying on the table, so torn and bloody. He'd seen Orochimaru do horrible things. He'd done plenty of horrible things himself, but always for a reason – either defending the village, or to win a battle. He'd even toyed with people and tortured a few, but this was unsettling in a way he didn't know if he could ever get over.

Orochimaru had betrayed the Konoha diplomat. He had taken a frail, voluntarily unarmed man and raped him almost to death. There was something so weak about it. He had chosen to get his rocks off rather than protect his own village. Kabuto had always seen him as the strongest man he'd ever known, but seeing him do that to Kakashi was a powerful reminder that even Orochimaru was simply human, with appetites that made him weak.

_I don't want to serve a weak man, _Kabuto thought, and he dropped the pen he'd been holding. _I'm just tired, _he thought. _Orochimaru isn't weak. _But like the smell after opening a can of sardines, the thought was out and it was too late to try to put it back in his mind.

He put the papers he'd been working on down and spoke with his only aide about sterility and lab safety. Something was wrong with his program. He couldn't track down the reason, but the mortality rate was climbing higher every month. The figures didn't match up to his predictions, either. There was an odd curve in the mortality graphs that suggested someone might be tampering with his program. Sudden deaths were well outside the standard deviation. When he found out who it was he might make what happened to Kakashi seem kind. Torturing traitors was perfectly acceptable, and someone was fucking with his life's work.

He paused in front of a particular tank. A ten day old experiment floated in the nutrient solution, with machines gently working the muscles to make them strong. He was ten days old in linear time, but he had the physical advancement of a five year old. He had wires attached to his scalp, connecting him to the indoctrination videos playing in his head. Teaching tapes played through connections that lead directly into his brain, and when he emerged he'd be a fully-taught Sound ninja, ready to begin training. They pulled the clones when they were physically 13. The soft blue glow of chakra surrounded the boy as jutsus aged his mind to match his body.

Kabuto smiled and put his palm on the glass, wishing the boy could know he was there. It had taken some doing to hide his own DNA in the program. Because of his weak eyes he wasn't cleared for cloning, but he'd substituted his own DNA for another – genetically acceptable - ninja that looked enough like him to avoid suspicion later.

_My son, _he thought as he watched the child in the tank. The boy had white hair and fair skin, just like him. He had Kiria's facial structure; Kabuto had used her as the mother. He had included enough of Orochimaru's DNA to keep his master happy and unsuspicious, but as much as possible this was his son. The boy had Orochimaru's eyes. Kabuto had done that on purpose so Orochimaru would see a bit of himself.

Orochimaru's DNA alone never worked in the clones, so it was always mixed with another male's. So far it hadn't worked, but Orochimaru just wouldn't believe he couldn't sire an heir.

Kabuto looked at the tank next to it without as much hope. It was Kiria's other donation to the project, and the boy wasn't doing well. There was too much of Orochimaru's DNA in him for the child to survive, but Orochimaru just wouldn't listen to reason about this. The boy inside the tank had numerous health problems, and Kabuto wondered if he'd have to flush the child. He hated doing that, but it was all for the village, and that made it acceptable.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kakashi woke slowly, feeling a sense of confusion first and then a soft material under him. It wasn't a bed; it felt more like a pillow. His arms were tightly bound behind him, and his legs under him, and he was wearing something restricting. He looked down to see that someone had put him in a straight-jacket that was stained with blood. The walls and even the ceiling seemed to be made of the same material as the floor. He didn't know why his arms hurt, or how he had ended up back in the Sound village.

_Wasn't I just in Konoha? _He wondered, but he knew better. He'd seen Orochimaru and Kabuto. He hoped he'd at least hurt Kabuto with that kick.

_Why did Orochimaru put me in a straight-jacket in a padded room? _he wondered. _I hope this isn't his idea of another joke._

"Are you awake?" he heard a familiar voice ask. The scent of Old Spice reached him, his uncle's smell. He moved with difficultly to see the speaker outside the door, looking through a small, barred window.

_I'm in Konoha, _he thought. _I don't know how it happened. I don't even care._

"Oji-Jiraiya?" he asked. "Orochimaru is in the village, I think. I'm not sure. He attacked me."

"I know," Jiraiya said. He called an orderly. "Let me in, and get Ibiki,"

He sat near his torn nephew, and Kakashi could see that Jiraiya's face was swollen. He'd obviously been crying – a lot from the looks of things. He stroked Kakashi's hair. It was something he hadn't done since his father died.

"I'm sorry," Kakashi said.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for, kid. We all know you need help right now. You did your duty, and you got injured. It's an honor to assist you."

"I want to go home," Kakashi said. He could hear himself whining. He'd never felt so small. Even when he was little he had more control than this.

"Not yet," Jiraiya said. "Ibiki will come talk to you, and we'll do what's best for you. You need to let me take care of you."

Kakashi felt a bit of safety. His uncle was strong. He could protect him. What was it his father had said yesterday – something about the old bear being too ornery to die?

"Okay," he said. "Where's Dad? I want Dad."

"Sa…Sakumo is gone." Kakashi wondered why he was crying. "Tsunade will want to see you too."

Kakashi frowned as he tried to think. "She's the Hokage," he said, "not Sensei. I know that. How did I forget?"

_How did I forget that my father is dead? _he wondered.

"Your mind is jumping around right now," Jiraiya said. "Don't worry about it. You'll be ok."

Ibiki came in and crouched on the floor. "Jiraiya, move back. I'm not taking any chances."

Jiraiya ignored him. "He knows who I am. He seems to think he's a child, but he's peaceful."

"Let's hope so," Ibiki said. "Lion has a bruised rib."

"Do you know who I am?" Ibiki asked Kakashi.

"Yeah, Ibiki. What's happening? Things got so strange, and Orochimaru and Kabuto were here. Did anyone catch them?"

"They weren't in Konoha. You attacked me and Lion. Do you remember?"

Horror filled Kakashi. "I'd never hurt a comrade," he said.

"You didn't hurt him much. No one blames you. We just want to see you get well. Do you know _when _it is right now? Can you tell me something so that I know how coherent you are?"

"Mount Fellenor erupted," Kakashi said. "Anko is waiting for me at home. I really just want to go home."

"In time," Ibiki said. "You're going to be under observation for 48 hours, and then if I think you're well enough you can go home. If we take you out of the straight-jacket will you try to hurt yourself again?"

"When did I try to hurt myself?"

"You tore flesh off both arms – a couple good chunks of it. Lion said it was where Orochimaru first restrained you. I don't want it to happen again."

"I won't," Kakashi said.

"Do you want to see Anko?" Ibiki asked.

"No," Kakashi said. "I don't want her to see me like this."

A thought struck him. "She's going to leave me. Oh god. I'm going to lose her."

"Why would you lose her?" Ibiki asked.

"When she finds out what happened she won't be able to be with me. I'm filthy. I can't lose her; I just can't."

"I don't think she's going anywhere," Jiraiya said, "but we won't tell her until you're ready. I don't know what I'll tell her, but I'll think of something."

"Fellenor would have helped me," Kakashi said, "but the Snow god is too strong that far north. The bastard told me so."

"He's rambling," Ibiki said. "We need to call it quits for now. I'm going to have him moved to the hospital, and an ANBU will be on guard in his room, just in case he becomes suicidal."

"Family members can visit, I hope," Jiraiya said.

"Just you," Ibiki said. "We need to respect his wishes as much as possible, and if he's afraid to see Anko it might do more harm than good."

Jiraiya stayed with Kakashi after Ibiki released him from his restraints. "I'll go take care of arrangements," Ibiki said. "Keep an eye on him," he told Jiraiya.

Kakashi sat up and moved his arms, trying to get feeling back into them. He leaned back against the wall. "I don't know how Ibiki did it," he said. "I feel like I'll be back there in the Sound forever – like Orochimaru will always be with me."

"Why don't you ask Ibiki how he got through it?" Jiraiya said. "He's here to help you."

Ibiki came back with two medics. He insisted on giving Kakashi a sedative before they took him to the hospital. "I can't have you freaking out on me out there. There's a lot more activity in the village than usual, and you might get jostled. Jiraiya and I will be with you. You're safe."

Kakashi didn't even feel his usual reluctance to be medicated. Anything that took him away from his memories would be good right now.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kabuto was getting closer to finding the root of the problem in his labs. The deaths were staggered, but they seemed to happen in clumps. He was going through various ninjas' mission schedules, seeing if their absence corresponded with a drop in mortality rates.

He smelled the snake smell of his master in the room with him, but he didn't take his eyes from his papers. He didn't want to look at him. Something about his dealings with Kakashi had brought out feelings he hadn't remembered. _Will I always have a bit of Konoha in me? _he wondered.

"What has been keeping you so busy Kabuto-kun?" Orochimaru asked. "I haven't seen you lately, and we have work to do."

"Sorry, Orochimaru-sama, but there's a problem with the cloning program. I think someone is tampering with it. I'm trying to track the traitor down."

"No one is tampering with the program," Orochimaru said. "I've been flushing clones that aren't perfect."

"You what?" Kabuto asked. "I've checked their DNA personally. They all fit your standards. We have a few that aren't up to par yet, but I don't really know how they're going to develop permanently until they reach a physical maturity of seven years old."

Orochimaru's tongue flickered out. "It's my prerogative," he said. "I know what's best for the village."

_He really thinks he's our god, _Kabuto thought. "Of course, sir. I forget myself. Now that I know I'm not so concerned." _I can't believe he did that! _Kabuto's mind screamed. Those clones were his ninjas – his true contribution to the Sound.

"Did you need anything sir?" he asked.

"I wondered how Kiria's sons were doing. I know my DNA is difficult to mix with the other ninjas. I hope at least one of them is progressing well."

"I'm afraid I don't have good news there," Kabuto said. "There are only two left. You've just used that body too much, and even the DNA is twisted from some of the jutsus you've done to maintain it. The two left are ill," he lied. His own robust genetics had kept his son strong and healthy, but the other one was thin and prone to rotting skin problems.

"Try not to flush them unless you have to," Orochimaru said. "I want this, and I promised Kiria I'd do it for her. I have my reasons to believe our DNA should be compatible. I try to keep my promises when I can."

Orochimaru put his face near the glass, looking closely at Kabuto's son. "He'll be a perfect receptacle for my soul," he said. "I can't wait to take him."

"Sir, I've been thinking about this. Couldn't you take another body? It seems wrong somehow to use your own child like this."

"Don't go soft on me," Orochimaru said. "I take what I want. I made this village, and if I want this boy I'll take him."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto said. It was odd, but he did try to keep his promises. He had the strangest sense of morality, unbending in what he deemed unworthy. That was part of the reason what he'd done to Kakashi had shocked Kabuto so badly.

Kabuto looked uneasily at his son, so vulnerable and needing his protection. _He'll never take you from me, _he thought. _I promise_. He kept his promises too.

He was late to meet Kiria for lunch. Since they had worked with Kakashi the two Sound ninjas had grown close. It wasn't that Kabuto didn't like women; it was just that his love for Orochimaru had overshadowed all his other relationships. Now that that love was fading he was noticing Kiria more. She was brave, loyal, and kind. She was an absolute idiot at times, but for some reason he found it a bit endearing even if it was annoying. Something was developing between them – a playful kiss on the hand here, a touch on the cheek there.

And she was the mother of his child. It didn't matter that she might not ever know. It meant something to him. His son would have the family he had lost, or at least he would have a father. Kabuto had tampered with the DNA to assure that the boy would have superb chakra control, and he planned on being his Sensei. Even though his son might never know him as his father he would have all the attention and love he could want.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Kakashi woke Tsunade was sitting next to the bed, holding his hand. She'd done that once before, when he was almost killed during a battle in the Rain country. He saw that the age jutsu had slipped, and she looked at least 40 years old, with wrinkles playing around her eyes and forehead. She only let her appearance lapse when she was badly injured or severely stressed.

_I'm hurting her, _Kakashi thought. _I can't do anything right._

"It's about time you woke up," Tsunade said. "I have some paperwork for you."

"Seriously?" he asked. "If I had known that being a Jounin meant being buried in papers for the rest of my life I would have failed the test on purpose."

She pulled a small book out of her pocket. It had a pink cover with a black kitten on it. "I thought you might like a bit of light reading."

She kissed him lightly on the forehead. "Try to relax, baka. You're safe here. We all love you."

When she left she sent Cat into the room to stand guard. Cat sat in the corner and shifted until he was comfortable.

Kakashi looked at the dubious book. _It's probably one of those horrible things filled with kittens doing things old women think are cute. I bet it even has that awful spelling that passes for humor in these things._

He was curious about what Tsunade would consider light reading. When he opened the book he found an inscription. "I've had this for years, but I thought you might need it more than I do. Don't tell anyone; I have an image to maintain. I just wanted you to have something that could connect us."

The book had no title, but when he opened it to the first page he was relieved to see writing instead of the pictures of fluffy kittens he'd feared.

A familiar first line of text greeted him. "When Alinia Destiny met the tall, handsome ninja she didn't imagine that he would be the worst and best thing to ever happen to her."

Kakashi blinked and shut the book. _Did she really just give me Icha-Icha Paradise in a binding with kittens on it? What the hell?_

"What's the book about?" Cat asked.

"Kittens," Kakashi said. Tsunade trusted him enough to share this secret with him, and he wouldn't let her down. He didn't want to read the book anymore, but it did make him feel better knowing that she cared.

Kakashi was feeling better – slightly. Cat was with him, and even though it went against protocols he was willing to chat with him. He'd been given the clearance to talk about what was happening in the village, and Kakashi suspected it was mostly to distract him.

Kakashi tried to stall the memories and emotions that went with them by talking to Cat about developments in the village. He learned that Anko had been asking for him, but that she'd been told he had an allergic reaction to medication and was in quarantine. It wasn't much of a story, and he wondered how much creative lying Jiraiya had been forced into.

"Anko has been out at the Fire Temple again," Cat said. "I checked on her for you. I figured you'd want to know."

He and Cat had been partners on missions when he was in ANBU, and he was one of the ANBU he'd been closest to. He should have known Cat would have his back.

He saw the ghost of a tentacle wrap itself around Cat's head, and he closed his eyes for a few seconds. When he opened them again the tentacle was gone.

"You ok, Senpai?" Cat asked.

"I'm fine," Kakashi said. "I'm starting to be able to tell what's a hallucination. It still messes with me, but I think the medication is starting to work."

He didn't even know what was in the shot Tsunade had given him. He'd ask next time he saw her, but when she'd given it to him he was too busy begging for help as he saw Orochimaru in the room to pay much attention to what was going on around him.

When Ibiki came back he cleared Kakashi to visit with Anko. Kakashi decided he'd better see her. He could tell her why he was really in the hospital later. He'd make up something when he saw her. He wanted her near him so badly; he just didn't want to hurt her.

_What if she suspects what really happened? _He wondered.

"I have an odd question for you," he said to Cat. "Do I smell like snake at all?"

"I don't know what a snake smells like," Cat said. "It just smells like hospital room in here to me."

"That's good," Kakashi said. He rubbed the mark under his hospital gown, being careful not to let Cat see it. ANBU or not, no one needed to know about him being marked – no one.

He could feel her though it, and he knew she felt him. All his problems faded momentarily as he reached her.

"I get to see my wife today," he said. He still enjoyed calling her his wife. There was something wonderful about the thought that she was his forever.

_Unless she leaves me when she finds out, _he thought. _That's stupid. I stuck by her, and she'll stick by me. I'm sure of it. _But as much as he tried to convince himself it was true he didn't know it. He was ruined inside, sick and tainted. What could he offer her now?

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Anko wasn't as fragile as Kakashi thought she was, and sometimes he really annoyed her. Sure, this thing with Orochimaru had thrown her, but who wouldn't react that way? Jiraiya was an awful liar. _You'd think a ninja would be better at that, _she thought, but then she supposed that someone as strong as Jiraiya didn't need to lie much, at least not at work. If he was trying to get in a woman's pants he could probably lie like hell.

She looked over the plans for the new sub-division that the Fire Monks were building. Tsunade had sent her because she was the most religious jounin. How could she not believe? When almost her whole village had rejected her there had been no one but Fellenor and her two friends. No matter what happened, she was a daughter of the mountain, and neither Orochimaru nor even Konoha itself could take that from her.

She felt Kakashi reach for her, telling her he needed her. _Something is wrong, _he thought. She didn't know what had happened, but she could tell that he was sick. She barely stopped herself from dropping her work and running. He was with other ninjas. He would be safe until she could leave, and she still had her duty. He would understand.

She had to work hard to focus, and she almost yelled at a novice, but she managed to finish coordinating the efforts with the monks. The next day they would begin building, with Genin playing fetch-and-carry while the more experienced ninjas and villagers directed the work. She gave it just a few days before people could move in to the bare apartments. They wouldn't be very nice, but they would be shelter, and that was what mattered.

She had some trouble at the hospital, and since it wasn't a monk she didn't mind getting snappy with the receptionist.

"What do you mean you can't find him in the system?" she asked the little ginger Chunin behind the counter. "I want to see my husband."

"I'm sorry ma'am. We don't have Hatake Kakashi listed here anywhere."

Anko glared him into submission, but it was obvious the little peon didn't know anything. She began to stalk the hospital halls, looking for Tsunade or Sakura. They would know where he was. She might be lucky and find Jiraiya.

The place was overcrowded. Patients with lesser injuries lay in cots in the hall, and her anger dissipated as she looked at the chaos around her. She'd done her part to help; they all had, but it was just too many people at once. No wonder they had lost someone in all this.

Of course he might have already snuck out. He hated being in the hospital, and she wouldn't put it past him to be home waiting for her. She rubbed her mark and felt him, but there was still that suggestion of illness, and she knew he needed her. She could also tell he was close.

She eventually managed to track down Sakura, who was quickly eating a sandwich in the cafeteria.

"Kakashi's in the hospital?" she asked. "This is my second shift in surgery, and I don't know much about what's going on in the hospital at the moment I've been too busy to keep up. No one said anything about him being here. Do you know why he's here?"

"Jiraiya told me a story about him being allergic to a medicine," Anko said. "He said they put him in quarantine, but I know when Jiraiya is lying."

"I'll see what I can find out," Sakura said. "When Kakashi causes trouble he goes all out. He probably already ran away."

"Probably," Anko said, thinking of how he felt through the mark. She had no way to explain that without giving away S-class secrets. "I have a feeling he's here. It's just intuition."

"I'll send someone if I find out anything," Sakura said.

"I appreciate it," Anko said. "He can be a handful sometimes, and we're just newlyweds. If it's starting out like this I have a feeling I'm going to have my hands full keeping up with him."

She looked for hours, and she knew she'd have to leave if she didn't find him soon. She had duties, and she couldn't avoid them just because Kakashi was sick.

In the end they tracked Anko down instead. Tsunade found her wandering the halls, looking in open doors.

"We've been looking for you," Tsunade said.

"I've been here," Anko said. "I know Kakashi is here, but no one seems to know where he is."

"It's been crazy around here," Tsunade said, "but we hadn't gotten lost. We hid him on purpose. He's on the sixth floor, in the fourth room on the left."

The sixth floor didn't "exist", at least not to civilians or anyone less than A-level clearance. Even in an emergency like this it was kept for official reasons. Only people who had to be hidden and yet receive medical treatment were kept there. She didn't like this.

She made her way to the sixth floor, checking to make sure no one had followed her. She used a quick jutsu at a wall, and a door opened up. She stepped through and locked it behind her with the same jutsu.

The rooms up here weren't numbered. You had to know where you were going, because all a normal person would see were two bare walls leading down a corridor. She ran her hand over the wall on the left, feeling the doorframes as she passed them until she reached the fourth. It looked just like any other patch of wall, but she could feel the cold metal of the door under her hand. She knocked.

The door opened, and she knew that there would be an armed guard on the other side. Instead of entering she said, "Hatake Anko here. I'd like to come in." She wasn't risking an overzealous ANBU with a kunai.

"Come in, Anko", she heard Kakashi say.

He was playing cards with Cat, but when he saw her he dropped his hand and jumped to hug her. He had a bandage around the upper part of both arms. She noticed an ace slide out of the waistband of his pajamas. _That's about right, _she thought.

"You're supposed to stay in bed," Cat said. When Kakashi ignored him, he said, "goddamn jounins. You have no respect for anyone but Tsuande-sama. I am your guard, not your buddy."

Kakashi lay back down, grumbling. "You'd think I was a kid, the way people act around here."

Cat picked up the Ace of Spades from the floor and flicked it at him, hitting him in the forehead.

"Can we have some time alone?" Anko asked. "I don't know what you're guarding him from, but I can take over. I'm a Jounin. That's enough security clearance for this."

"Very well, but keep a close eye on him. He's a tricky one. I'll be outside."

"So what happened?" she asked when they were alone. "Jiraiya is a fool sometimes. He tried to give me a story about you being allergic to medication, but he botched it. You'd think he'd be used to lying to women by now. And don't try to lie to me."

"The jutsu didn't go well," Kakashi said. "I had a strong reaction."

"Why did you have Jiraiya lie to me?"

"I didn't know how you'd take seeing me like that. I was in bad shape."

"Baka," she said. "I took care of you when you came back from the Sound before. It couldn't have been much worse. You look like hell, but at least you're not fighting that damn mark this time."

"Anko, they had to put me in a straight-jacket. I tried to attack two ninjas, and I clawed skin off my own arms. I didn't want you to see that."

She touched one of the bandages on his arms. "I would have been there for you. You should have given me the choice. It hurts to think of you like that, all alone."

"I wasn't alone," he said. "Jiraiya was there."

"So you let him help you and not me? Why? It's my right as your wife."

"I don't know quite how to explain. I'm so filthy. I didn't want you to see it. You just don't know how soiled I am."

The extent of what he was saying began to sink in. "Filthy?" she asked. "No – never. What happened to you up there? I need to know."

He saw the figure of Orochimaru behind her, laughing. "Anko is there anyone behind you?"

She turned. "No. Why?"

"Because when you asked me that I saw Orochimaru standing behind you laughing at me. Are you sure he's not there?"

"There's no one here but us," she said.

"It's not real then," he said. Tentacles reached for him. "It's not real."

"What isn't real?" she asked. "Kakashi, what's wrong? Do I need to get a doctor?"

"No," he said, trying to control his fear. "I know it's not real. Tsunade gave me some medication. It's only working partially so far, but I know I'm just seeing hallucinations. You're sure there aren't any tentacles in the room?"

"Tentacles? No. What the hell?"

"That's what I mean," he said. "I'll always be tainted by him. He's never going to leave me, and I don't want to drag you through this."

"You're not dragging me through anything," she said. "You helped me when Orochimaru ruined me. What did he do to you?"

"Rape isn't a strong enough word," he said. "Punctured would be more like it. He was inside me, Anko. Those horrible things that he made tore me open. Kabuto barely kept me alive."

"Those things were tentacles?" she asked.

"I smell snake," he said. "I keep smelling snake, and I keep seeing tentacles. I'll never be able to forget how they felt."

"I remember too" she whispered.

"You?" he asked. "You were a kid when you were with him."

"He didn't care," she said. "I understand more than you think."

"Did you ever tell anyone?" he asked.

"Kurenai. I didn't want you to know. I loved you, and I didn't want you to think of me like that."

"I would have helped you," he said.

"Yes, and you would have never seen me as a woman. I remember what it felt like to be ruined, but Kurenai helped me see the truth. We're not ruined. We were injured by a madman. I got over it, mostly. You can too."

"I hope so," he said. "I'm getting tired of these visions."

"It will help when you can come home," she said. "You can get out there and start working again. Nothing helps pain like helping your village."

Sex was the best way she knew to communicate. She wasn't in the mood, but she offered herself to him. "If using my body will help you, we can make love," she said. She crawled under the sheets. "Tell me what you want from me."

"This is enough," he said. "I don't think I could get it up right now anyway."

"I can try if you want," she said. "Sex usually makes you feel better."

"Just hold me," he said. "We can have sex when I get home. I just want you close to me."

He held her until Cat came back, a good hour later.

"Can I stay with him?" Anko asked. "I'm needed in the morning, but I want to stay until then."

"I don't see a problem with it. It's not technically a breach of mission protocol, since you're a jounin. Kakashi, I want your word that you won't try to hurt yourself."

"I don't want to hurt myself," he said. "I just want to spend the night with my wife."

"I'll be outside," Cat said. "If you break your word they'll bust me down to Chunin – or worse."

"I keep my promises," Kakashi said.

There weren't any windows, so the only way they knew when morning arrived was when Anko's watch began chiming an alarm. "It's six o'clock," she said. "I have to go help sort though the new students. About fifty have parents who want them tested for the ability to use chakra. We might have a good number of new Academy students soon."

He kissed her. "I guess I can let you go. I'll be home as soon as I can. I'm feeling much better."

He didn't tell her that he was seeing tentacles behind her. It was getting easier to distinguish reality from memory, but it was still disturbing.

"I'll buy something pretty," she said.

"I like lace," he said. "I haven't seen you in lace yet."

"You haven't seen me in anything but skin," she said. "I'll get something you'll like."

She traded places with Cat, who gave him a pill. "Tsunade-sama came by last night, with Ibiki. She said this would be slower acting than the shot, but the effects will be stronger."

"When did they come by?" he asked.

"About 2:30 I guess. They wanted to talk to you, but when I told them you and Anko were spending the night together Ibiki said that might be better than therapy anyway."

Kakashi realized what he was thinking, but he didn't correct him. If Cat thought he had enough sexual prowess to take Anko after all that happened yesterday he didn't want to disillusion him. He had some pride to think of.

He lay thinking about Anko, wondering what she'd be wearing when he saw her next. He'd been purposely vague so she could surprise him. He felt himself getting hard. _Great timing, _he thought. _At least I know everything still works right._ It was going to be a long day before he could go home.


	12. Chapter 12

"Come with me," Kabuto told Kiria. "I have something I want to show you."

"Kabuto-kun, you've been full of surprises lately," she said. "I think I like it."

"I hope you'll like this one," he said. "I have something I have to talk to you about, but it's going to bother you. I want to show you something amazing first. I don't want bad news to taint this. It's something just between us."

He took her into the lab, and after he checked the duty roster he took her into the room with the clones.

"I've never been in here," she said.

"I know. Not many people ever do come in here. I handle most of the work myself. I have an assistant, but the work is too important to let just anyone deal with it."

She took his hand. "I love your devotion to your duty," she said.

He remembered how he'd failed his devotion to being a doctor recently. He should have intervened when Orochimaru put his patient's life at stake. He didn't know how he could have done anything, but he should have at least tried.

"I slip sometimes," he said, "but I know what's important. The Sound is important, and being a doctor is important. I think that might be more important than anything."

She smiled at him. It was a naïve smile, full of exactly what it seemed to portray. It was a completely un-ninja like smile.

"You're important to me," she said.

He'd always been shy with people he was attracted to, but he knew she wanted him to show her he cared. He kissed her in the room full of experiments, with the soft glow of chakra and the bubbling of the respirators setting the mood around them.

"I did this because you're special to me," he said. "I hope you're happy with it."

He took her to the two tanks that help her offspring. "These are your children," he said.

"Oh, Kabuto. You did it. I didn't think Orochimaru-sama's genes could be used. He said it had a low chance of working." She touched the tube that held the child that she actually shared mostly with Orochimaru. Another ninja's genes had been used as well, but Kabuto had used as much of Orochimaru's genes as he could, under his master's orders. "This one looks sick," she said.

The boy did look sick. His skin had an off look, even through the clear, bluish liquid. He was so thin his ribs showed, and his hair was beginning to fall out in patches. Tomorrow would be the day when Kabuto had to officially decide what to do with him, and it was looking as if he'd have to be flushed.

"He's probably not going to make it," he said. "We can only do so much for them."

"The other one looks healthy," she said. "He looks strong."

_He is strong, _Kabuto thought with pride. He'd made sure the boy had Kiria's strong physique. She was a true Snow woman, with a body that could withstand the strongest winters. She was made for survival, and so was her son.

"He has his mother's strength," he said. _Here goes, _he thought. _I hope she understands why I did this._ He was taking a chance telling her, but lately he'd felt a void where Orochimaru had been in his heart. He needed someone else there. He needed a family.

"I gave this one a name," he said. "His name is Ichigo."

"I didn't think clones had names until they were born into the world," she said.

"This one is special. I named him after my father. I thought I'd like to see my father's name kept in the family. His grandson should carry it proudly."

"Kabuto, you didn't!" she said. "It's illegal."

_Please don't make me have to kill her, _he prayed to no god in particular. He wanted her to accept the situation – to accept him.

"He's our son," she said. "Won't we get caught?"

_She used the word "our", _he thought. _She's in this with me._ "There was a ninja who's cleared for this project who looks enough like me that I think I can get away with it."

"We'll have a child together," she said. "I can barely believe it."

"I know," he said. "I'm not cleared for breeding, just because of my eyes."

"It's not fair, is it?" she asked. "I don't like to say it, but sometimes I think Orochimaru-sama is too strict about that. There are a lot of ninjas who want to be parents who aren't allowed to."

"Now for the disturbing news," he said. "I didn't want to tell you this soon, but I'm probably going to have to flush the sickly one tomorrow, and Orochimaru-sama has an interest in Ichigo you need to know about. I decided on a course of action, but I need your help."

"Of course I'll help," she said. She touched the glass over Ichigo's face. "He's so beautiful. I love him already."

"I can't ask you to believe what I'm going to tell you on my word alone. I need you to see the security tapes. I'm the only one who reviews them, so Orochimaru-sama never seems to worry about what he says in here. He trusts me enough that he doesn't even think about me doing anything he wouldn't approve."

He took her to his personal computer and removed some nasty protection jutsus. Someone had tried to get to his computer once, and it had taken weeks to clean all the small bits that were left of the intruder. The wall was still stained with his blood.

He pulled up the program had had the files from the security tapes, and he selected the correct date.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What has been keeping you so busy Kabuto-kun?" Orochimaru asked. "I haven't seen you lately, and we have work to do."

"Sorry, Orochimaru-sama, but there's a problem with the cloning program. I think someone is tampering with it. I'm trying to track the traitor down."

"No one is tampering with the program," Orochimaru said. "I've been flushing clones that aren't perfect."

"You what?" Kabuto asked. "I've checked their DNA personally. They all fit your standards. We have a few that aren't up to par yet, but I don't really know how they're going to develop permanently until they reach a physical maturity of seven years old.

"It's my prerogative," Orochimaru said. "I know what's best for the village."

"Of course sir," Kabuto said. "I forget myself. Now that I know I'm not so concerned. Did you need anything sir?"

Kabuto stopped the recording. "He's been killing our village's children for no reason – just because they didn't quite suit him. He's out of hand. I heard him refer to himself as the Snow god. Those children are our future. We've been losing more ninjas because of the war with Konoha than we can replace as it is, and we're still a young village. He's throwing away shinobi just because his hubris demands it."

"That's not the Orochimaru I know," Kiria said. "Couldn't there be some sort of mistake – maybe something he didn't tell you. He does like to test us."

"I've been faithful to him since I met him as a child," Kabuto said, "but what I've seen lately makes me question everything about him. I'm his own personal doctor. I've watched his body deteriorate, and I'm beginning to think his mind isn't far behind."

"Prove it to me," she said. "Show me."

He started the recording again.

"I wondered how Kiria's sons were doing." Orochimaru asked. "I know my DNA is difficult to mix with the other ninjas'. I hope at least one of them is progressing well."

"I'm afraid I don't have good news there," Kabuto said. "There are only two left. You've just used that body too much. The two left are ill."

"Try not to flush them unless you have to," Orochimaru said. "I want this, and I promised Kiria I'd do it for her. I have my reasons to believe our DNA should be compatible. I try to keep my promises when I can. He'll be a perfect receptacle for my soul. I can't wait to take him."

"Kabuto, what did he mean?" Kiria asked.

He stopped the recording again. "He's going to replace Ichigo's soul with his own when Ichigo gets older, about 18 probably. That way he can continue ruling the Sound as the Hokage in his own son's body."

"And what happens to my baby?" she asks.

"He'll die," Kabuto said. He didn't want to hurt her, but he felt like she needed to know, and softening the blow wouldn't get her to do what was necessary to save their son.

"Why would you show him to me when I'm going to lose him like that?" she asked.

"Because I'm not going to let it happen. I'm going to defy Orochimaru-sama."

"You can't," she said. "We have our duty, even above our family."

"We have a duty to the Sound village above all else," Kabuto said. "If it was necessary for the safety and future of the Sound I'd give him my son's body, but it's not. It's all for Orochimaru's vanity. I've offered him my own body several times in the past, but he won't take it. Our boy will die for no good reason, just so Orochimaru will live. The village is strong enough for a new Hokage. This is just selfish."

"How do we stop him?" she asked. "I've always been loyal to him, but I can't let him take my baby. I never thought I'd be allowed to breed, and I just can't lose him."

"I need to show you more," Kabuto said. "I need you to see all the evidence so later when you start to think about all this you don't second-guess yourself."

"I trust you," she said. "Show me what you need to."

Kabuto started the program again, and he took her hand, wanting to support her.

"Sir, I've been thinking about this," Kabuto said. "Couldn't you take another body? It seems wrong to somehow to use your own child like this."

"Don't go soft on me," Orochimaru said. "I take what I want. I made this village, and if I want the boy I'll take him."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto said.

"He's a monster," Kiria said. "He's not who I thought he was at all."

"I knew he was cruel," Kabuto said, "but we're all cruel in our way. It never bothered me before, but that's just the beginning of what happened. I need to show you one more thing. It's horrible, but you'll understand the reason why I have to take drastic steps."

He opened another program. "A year or so ago I had a nurse who abused a patient, and I secretly installed security cameras in all the rooms. I kept it quiet, because I was afraid someone might abuse the idea. The only reason I never told Orochimaru-sama was that I thought it was a minor detail he wouldn't be interested in. He never did like to deal with technical aspects unless they directly affect him."

"I did the best I could under the circumstances. My duty as a doctor conflicted with my duty to Orochimaru-sama, and I chose him. After what he did here, I'll never make that mistake again. I almost lost a patient because of one of his whims."

They watched Orochimaru stroke Kakashi's naked body. Kakashi woke and Orochimaru toyed with him. When the tentacles shot out and grabbed Kakashi, Kiria gasped. "You can't mean that he…"

"Yes," Kabuto said. "You need to see it to believe it. I'm sorry, but it's going to be necessary later."

When Kakashi turned to Kabuto for help and his own doctor refused him, Kabuto felt a deep sense of shame. "That's what I meant when I said I slip occasionally. Nothing else will ever come between my duty as a Sound ninja and a doctor again."

Kiria put her hand over her mouth as she watched Orochimaru hurt Kakashi. Kabuto had to intervene and clear his throat so he could breathe.

"It's horrible," Kiria said. "Why would he degrade the Konoha diplomat like that?"

"Because he had an urge," Kabuto said. "We don't matter compared to what he wants."

"Turn it off!" she said. "I don't want to see anymore."

He stopped the recording again. "I gave him a blood pill. Orochimaru-sama wouldn't stop. He kept at it, even using a jutsu on him to make him feel more pain. Kakashi had to deal with 10 minutes of that, over and over. I wasn't sure I could save him by the time he was done."

"It was an act of war," she said. "He risked us all for that. Kakashi was frail, Kabuto. He couldn't even walk properly."

"It was horrible," Kabuto said. "The poor man begged his god to help him, and Orochimaru-sama just mocked him and hurt him more. I won't show you the rest, but I need you to see that I tried to help him. I don't want you to think I was a willing part of this."

He moved the recording forward, to the part where Orochimaru pulled out and left him on the table. The ruined ninja lay quietly, too traumatized to even try to take advantage of Orochimaru's sudden disinterest to try to fight.

Kabuto healed him and almost carried him to the bathroom. Kabuto manipulated the computer program so that a change in cameras showed him lowering the injured ninja into the tub and speaking to him gently. He washed Kakashi, and Kiria could see how traumatized and docile Kakashi was. He didn't even try to fight. She had seen a bird fly into a window once and lay on the sidewalk stunned, its wing broken and its eyes glassy and unseeing. Kakashi had the same look.

When Kakashi whispered Anko's name Kabuto heard Kiria sniffle. "I can't believe we sent him home to her like that."

Kabuto cringed when he heard himself tell Kakashi that his duty to Orochimaru came before his duty as a doctor.

Kiria saw Kabuto try to get Kakashi to clean himself, only to have to take the cloth away when it became obvious that he couldn't do it yet.

"Don't," Kakashi whispered, terror in his eyes.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Kabuto had said. "I'm your doctor. Unless Orochimaru-sama orders me to hurt you, you're safe with me."

Kakashi whined like an injured child when Kabuto cleaned his privates. Kabuto tried to assure him he was safe. Kabuto watched himself lift Kakashi so he could clean the rest of him, feeling guilty when Kakashi thanked him for the small kindness. He was glad that Kiria got to hear him tell Kakashi that Orochimaru was wrong, and had put them all in danger for his amusement, that he felt betrayed.

Kakashi fainted, and Kabuto finished cleaning him and put him in a clean bed. He actually confronted Orochimaru and told him the conflict he felt as a doctor. The obvious empathy he had for Kakashi didn't move Orochimaru. He just told him to wake him so he could do the jutsu.

Orochimaru used his tentacles to hold Kakashi still, and he begged him not to rape him again.

When Kabuto turned his back on Orochimaru and said he wouldn't be a part of it anymore, Kiria squeezed his hand.

After Orochimaru performed the jutsu and Kakashi passed out, Kabuto moved the video forward until Kakashi woke. Orochimaru casually told him he'd been poisoned, and that Hiriam Meshaw was going to be executed for it.

"Meshaw was innocent?" Kiria asked. "Did Orochimaru-sama really kill one of our strongest Jounin to hide his tracks?"

"He did," Kabuto said. "I should have stopped him, but I didn't. I'm more ashamed than you can know. The only thing I can do to make this right is to never let it happen again."

"Orochimaru-sama means so much to us," she said. "In a way he's our father. I don't know what I would have done if he'd given me such orders as he gave you."

She watched Kabuto's interaction with Kakashi, and it was obvious he didn't like being thanked for his devotion to duty.

"I left a message for Tsuande-sama in his body," Kabuto said. "It wasn't much, but I think she'll find it and be able to help him. As horrible as what happened to him is, if he doesn't get therapy and remember what happened he'll probably die from the psychological implications. I did the best I could for him. I hope you understand that."

When she looked at him her face could have been made of granite.

"I know what I did was cowardly," he said, "but please don't hate me. I need you to at least understand that I didn't know what else to do."

"Orochimaru-sama took advantage of your sense of duty she said. I see that."

"Then you don't hate me?" Kabuto asked.

"Of course not," she said. "Now tell me, how do we kill him?"

He would have been more surprised except that she was a true Snow woman. They were known for their temper and fierce need for revenge. No one in their right mind brought on the vengeance in a Snow woman. Their anger spanned generations. Her loyalty had immediately changed to a vicious need for vengeance. It was all the stronger because of how much she had loved Orochimaru.

"My first priority is Ichigo's safety," Kabuto said. "I'm going to flush his brother tomorrow. Tonight I plan on smuggling Ichigo to my house in a tunnel I had built between the house and my lab. I know that you are going on a mission outside the Snow country in a couple days, and I want you to take him to Konoha."

"Are you thinking Kakashi might protect him?" she asked.

"It's my best hope," Kabuto said. "Tell him Ichigo is your son, but don't mention me. Stay there until I send for you. I can work better with Ichigo out of the country."

"I want to help you," Kiria said. "I'll fight beside you."

"What I'm planning just needs one person. I can't very well have Ichigo going that far by himself. And if I don't succeed I want you two to be safe."

"But I'm a Sound ninja!" she said.

"That might be shut off from you," he said. "It would be better to be a Konoha ninja than a mercenary. I really don't want my son to be a mercenary. We still have a peace treaty with Konoha. There's no reason you can't change your identity and live there. I'm sure they'd be glad to have you. Kakashi would vouch for you, and even if he's not the strongest ninja anymore, he still has Tsunade's ear. He's practically her son."

"What are you going to do while I'm gone?" she asked.

"I'm going to act like I always have, and then when he least suspects me I'm going to kill him. He's too used to me wanting him to believe that I might betray him. I've never minded how much I was his dog before. Now it might help me fight him."

"You can't beat him," she said.

"I don't plan on a battle," he said. "I'm going to place a clone in his house. I have good enough chakra control to keep it there all day, and I can keep the chakra signature so low it won't be recognizable to someone not actually looking for it. There's enough chakra being used around the village that it won't even register. I doubt he even notices my chakra anymore. It's probably just background noise to him."

"You can't beat him with a clone," she said. "He's too good for that, or he would have been dead a long time ago."

"I'm going to use our history and his appetites against him," Kabuto said. "I've offered myself to him a number of times over the years, and he's always rejected me. I know a way to get to him now. There's not much that makes a person more vulnerable than having sex. He'll feel secure with me. My clone can simply cut his throat."

"You can't really think he'll die that easily," she said.

"I think it wouldn't ever occur to him that I'd betray him," he said.

"But after what you saw him do to Kakashi, how can you give yourself to him? He'll hurt you."

Kabuto looked at his son in the chamber, his eyes moving in REM sleep. His hair moved gently in the under-fluid movement of the bubbles from his respirator.

"I'll risk it to keep my family safe," he said. "Orochimaru-sama is so fast and wary I can't think of any other way to make him vulnerable."

"I love you for what you're doing for Ichigo," Kiria said. "We'll save him."

"I'm taking over as Hokage after I kill Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto said. "No one will dare oppose someone who can kill him. I'll send for you."

"It's a chancy plan," she said.

"It's the best I can come up on short notice, and if I don't act soon we might lose Ichigo. Orochimaru-sama has been flushing clones at his whim. I could make another, but I want Ichigo. He's my son already, and I can't stand the thought of him being medical waste."

"I trust you," she said. "I want something from you though."

"Of course, he said. What do you need?"

"If this doesn't work I won't ever see you again. I'm the mother of your child and we've never even made love. I want to be with you before you leave."

He looked around for a suitable place. "Where? On the desk?"

"No. I want to do this correctly – later, before you leave," she said.

"This might be the last good thing to ever happen to me," he said. "I'm going to smuggle Ichigo to my house tonight. Be there, but don't let anyone see you come. I know you're good at hiding. Ichigo will be unconscious for at least a day as his body adjusts to being out of the container. We can be together then."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was hard for Kakashi to bathe himself without getting the bandages on his arms wet, and Tsunade had been very explicit about what would happen to him if he didn't take care of himself. He didn't intend to see how literal she had meant it when she said he'd be cleaning the porta-potties for a month. She just might do it.

He hated baths; he'd always considered them feminine for some reason, but he didn't have much choice. He couldn't take a shower and keep his arms dry. As he sat in the warm water he was sure he could smell snake.

_Fucking A,_ he thought. _I can't even take a bath without having problems now. _ He ignored the smell, but it got stronger. He tried to work up a good lather with the soap, hoping the smell might be strong enough to cover the scent, but the smell of snake just grew stronger. He actually put the soap close to his nose, but all he could smell was snake.

He remembered Kabuto tending to him, and he ached in his arms, legs, groin, and ass. He began to absent-mindedly wash his arms below the elbows, trying to remember what Kabuto had said to him. He wondered about that message to Tsunade. It was an odd thing to want her to know, but perhaps it was more Kakashi he'd meant it for. It almost seemed as if Kabuto knew he'd remember what happened eventually.

_Tsunade did say he left an obvious clue in my body when he healed me, _he thought. He remembered the helpless, terrified feeling of sitting in the tub unable to even care for himself in the simplest way. He began to wash his thighs where Orochimaru's tentacles had restrained him, not noticing that the soap had dropped and he was scratching at his own skin. He was too far gone in his own head.

He didn't realize what he was doing until he felt a sharp pain in his groin and looked down to see that he'd left an inch long scratch across his groin, crossing his penis and a testicle. He let out a hiss of pain. He'd have to at least trim his fingernails if he was going to keep doing this.

"You ok in there?" Cat called.

Kakashi thought fast. He didn't want to deal with Tsunade's anger, or with Ibiki making him stay in the hospital longer.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said. He dressed quickly, stopping the small amount of blood from his thigh on the (thankfully) dark towel. The scratch across his groin stung like hell, but there wasn't anything he could do about it except hope that Tsunade didn't examine him too closely for at least a few days.

He came back into the bedroom in his sweatpants, glad that he had taken them in with him. He wasn't a modest man, except for the mask, and being naked around men didn't bother him. He was glad he'd had them with him. He couldn't ask Cat to neglect his duty, and that duty would be to report strange things like random deep scratches on his body. They still seemed to think he was suicidal.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Kabuto flushed Ichigo's brother. He never liked killing the clones. It was the part of the job he hated the most, but he knew they'd die soon after birth anyway, especially the ones with Orochimaru's genes. If their physical problems didn't kill them, Orochimaru did. Kabuto had always accepted those deaths as unfortunate but necessary, but to kill perfectly good clones was pointless murder of future Sound ninjas. Orochimaru was a traitor.

It was easy to sneak Ichigo to his house. He didn't really have a plan when he constructed the tunnel between the labs and his house; it was just something he felt needed to be done. A paranoid ninja was a living ninja, more often than not.

He laid the unconscious boy on the bed in his guestroom. Ichigo's head rolled to the side and he snored lightly. Kabuto moved a bit of hair away from the boy's face. His hair had floated upward in the tank, but now it lay about him, snow-white and at least two feet long.

Kabuto put some of his boxers on the boy, and chuckled at how big they were on him. The shorts dwarfed Ichigo, making him look even smaller than he was. His father pulled the blanket up to his chin and kissed his forehead. "Sleep safe, little one. No one hurts my son."

He let Kiria in the back door, and he was pleasantly surprised at how well she hid herself in the shadows. He didn't even see her until she was almost inside.

"Can I see him?" she asked. "Is he safe?"

"He's sleeping in my guest room," Kabuto said. "You can look at him, but let him sleep. He'll wake naturally when it's time."

"It's our son," she said as she watched him sleep. "He's so beautiful."

He closed the door quietly, even though he knew the boy wouldn't wake. He'd carried him through a tunnel, and he'd jostled him a bit despite his best efforts. The post-capsule state would simply end when it was time.

He and Kiria sat on the couch, and he didn't really know where to go from here. He wasn't a virgin, but his experience was very limited. He'd been with two men and one woman, and all three of those times had been awkward and unfulfilling. He'd been so excited with the woman that he'd barely been inside her when he came. He'd been on the bottom with both men, and they'd taken the initiative with him – aggressively. It wasn't rape, but it wasn't something he wanted to do again either. He'd been sore for days both times.

Kiria snuggled up to him, fitting under his arm and against his side. She put her arm around him and lay against him. He wasn't sure where to go from here. After his humiliating experience with Lana he'd done some reading, and he knew _technically _what women liked men to do to them. They liked to have their hair stroked, and to have a man say endearing things to them. They liked to believe they were the only person their man had ever loved, and then they liked their breasts and clitoris touched. He knew that some women preferred oral and some preferred g-spot stimulation. Could he even find a g-spot?

Kiria finally solved part of the problem by taking the lead and kissing him. She pulled him into his own bedroom and was the instigator in everything the did.

"I don't know if I'll ever see you again after I leave," she said. "I wanted to leave you with something to remember."

"I'll kill him," Kabuto said. "He doesn't have any reason to suspect me."

"I hope that's true," she said. "I really do."

"When I leave I'd like to think I might be carrying your child."

As he looked down at her he thought how much different their sexual personalities were from their normal ones. He'd heard of it before – a lady by day and a tiger by night was the saying.

He was conscious of how inexperienced he was. He was so confident in most of the rest of his life, but not at all confident about sex.

He lay with her as long as he could. "I have to go back to work," he said in only a couple short hours. "There's a surgery I have to supervise."

"I'll stay here in case Ichigo wakes," she said.

"He'll recognize us immediately," Kabuto said. "The clones have electrodes implanted in their brains to indoctrinate them as Sound ninjas. They're removed at birth. He'll already know the village elders and Jounins by sight. Don't mention Orochimaru-sama. He might turn us in or try to kill us. If he asks questions just tell him to follow orders. He'll recognize our authority."

"I want him to know I'm his mother," Kiria said.

"Don't tell him about me until it's safe to come home or until you know I'm dead. It will cause less trouble if he doesn't know until then."

"It's ok," she said. "I'll tell him on our way home from Konoha."


	13. Chapter 13

"How has Kakashi been?" Tsunade asked Anko. "I went by to see him yesterday with Ibiki, but you two were together. We didn't want to disturb you."

"Ibiki talked with him earlier," Anko said. "He thinks that Kakashi is at least alert enough to be aware of his surroundings. He said he'd heal faster in a familiar environment, and he let him go home. He's been sleeping most of the day, and he hasn't eaten much. I woke him a couple times, but he was groggy and didn't want to eat."

"It could be side effects of the medicine," Tsunade said. "It can take up to a month for a person's body to adapt. Give him some weight gain supplement. You might have to be strict with him at times. I find that a little fear of discipline keeps him in line. Remind him of what happens to ninjas whose Hokage decides they aren't taking care of their bodies."

"What did you give him?" Anko said. "He's not acting like himself at all. I've never seen him docile. Even when he's injured he isn't like this."

"It's an anti-psychotic," Tsunade said. "He shouldn't have to be on it permanently. Ibiki is going to start therapy soon, and he said based on past experience Kakashi should be off the meds in a month. He'll take much longer to heal, if he ever does heal completely, but Ibiki said he can handle the hallucinations. The self-mutilation will take longer."

"I'm worried about him," Anko said. "His friends all want to see him. I've been telling them he had a relapse from when he was so sick before, but I can tell Sakura doesn't believe me."

"He can see people when he's ready," Tsunade said. "Don't rush him. He needs whatever brings him peace right now, and that might be friends or solitude. Let him decide."

"I hate leaving him alone," Anko said. "Jiraiya came by to see him, but we both have our duties. I worry about him being alone."

"What are your duties right now?" Tsunade asked.

Anko pulled a schedule from a pocket. It was full.

"I can cover most of this with other ninjas," Tsunade said. "I want you to stay home and look after Kakashi. I'm going to free up as much of Jiraiya's time as possible, too."

"I'm not shirking my duty because I have sick family," Anko said. "I've seen too many ninjas sacrifice themselves and sometimes their own families for the village. I'll find a way to help him without failing my village."

"He was our strongest ninja," Tsunade said. "Even with the bad knee he'll be strong enough to fight again, but he can't fight for us if he's lying in bed seeing tentacles attacking him and starving himself to death slowly. You'll be taking a serious mission. He's a valuable tool. This isn't up for negotiation."

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama," Anko said.

"You might want to wait before you thank me," Tsunade said. "You might be married to him, but I've had to deal with him injured too many times to remember. He seems to make a hobby out of it. He's one of the most difficult patients I've ever dealt with."

Ibiki had a full schedule as well. Konoha might welcome the newcomers with open arms, but thieves, bandits, and con-men did as well. The fact that crime had risen over 30% since the eruption was keeping him busy. He had a top-level mission with Kakashi though. Even if he hadn't had personal reasons for wanting to see him recover, Ibiki was well aware of Kakashi's worth to the village. With him down Konoha was much less safe. They needed their scarecrow.

Ibiki opened the bottom drawer of his desk and took out his seldom-touched bottle of scotch. He'd known too many police and ninjas succumb to the numbing effects of alcohol to use it as a crutch, but he really needed it today. Seeing Kakashi looking like a famine victim brought back too many memories of his own.

He touched the scars on his face. _They wanted to know about Konoha's defenses, _he thought. He pulled his headband off and ran his hand over the deep holes still present in his scalp, some of them reaching through his skull.

_I gave them nothing, _he thought with a sense of pride. Over the years he'd taught himself to view that time as a proving ground. He'd given himself for Konoha, literally. Those scars were visible proof of his devotion to his village, and women occasionally threw themselves at him because of them.

_I'll find what Kakashi can cling to, _he thought. If he knew Kakashi like he thought he did the man had done something for his village up there that could only be considered heroic. Kakashi was one of those people who couldn't have fathomed the word being attached to himself; he was too busy being a hero to understand he was one.

Ibiki threw back a shot of scotch, glad that he didn't feel the need for more that some of his friends fought with. He needed a clear mind to deal with Kakashi properly, but a bit of a bracer didn't hurt.

Jiraiya answered the door at Kakashi's house, and Ibiki could see that he'd set up his typewriter on Kakashi's coffee table. "He hasn't been up much today," Jiraiya said. "Is this normal?"

"It can be," Ibiki said. "Everyone reacts differently to psychotropic medication. Side effects can be severe. We need to give his body time to adjust to the medication. I have some jutsus specifically made to help torture victims. Can you see if you can wake him for me? I need to see how bad he is."

He sat in the living room listening to one side of Jiraiya and Kakashi's conversation. He guessed that Kakashi was speaking too quietly to be heard outside the room.

"I don't care if you're tired," Jiraiya said. "You've been in bed all day. You need to get up and move around."

A pause followed, and then Jiraiya said, "I'll get you some stomach medicine then, but you need to come talk to Ibiki. I don't know how to help you; he does. When I get back with the medicine I want you to be sitting up and at least have some pants on."

Jiraiya fetched some Pepto, and when he went back to the room Ibiki heard him say, "well, you're sitting up. That's half way there. I don't see any pants though. I'm going to talk to Ibiki. Don't make your old uncle drag you out there."

Jiraiya made tea for them. "He's like a zombie," he said.

"You sounded more like a father than an uncle," Ibiki said.

"I might as well have been," Jiraiya said. "I've known him longer now than his father did. He's still like dealing with a child sometimes. I'm worried about him."

"Has he eaten anything today?" Ibiki asked.

"He's having stomach problems. He tried to eat a couple times, but he can't keep it down. He tried a third time, but he couldn't even hold down a piece of bread. I think he might need to go back to the hospital."

"He might," Ibiki said. "We'll see what we can do for him here. If he can't eat tomorrow we'll have him re-admitted."

"And he's always been so clean," Jiraiya said. "He looks like a dump. You'll see."

When Kakashi sat down by him on the couch Ibiki saw what Jiraiya meant. He had thrown on sweatpants and a white t-shirt, but he was mask less, and rough stubble covered his generally clean face. He wasn't even wearing his headband, and Ibiki had never seen him without it or the mask, except for the wedding. His dirty hair hung lankly around his face.

"Sorry, Ibiki," Kakashi said.

"What are you apologizing for?" Ibiki asked.

"I dunno. I'm so groggy. I feel like I haven't slept in a week. My head feels so heavy."

"Jiraiya is right," Ibiki said. "I know the medication is bothering you, but moving around helps, even if you don't want to do it. I'm going to start your treatment. You'll do better if you're more comfortable. Get cleaned up. I'll wait."

Ibiki sat with Jiraiya while they waited for Kakashi. _I need a drink, _he thought. This was how doctors became alcoholics, and right now he was Kakashi's doctor. He was as talented a psychologist as he was an interrogator. Both skills required some of the same talents.

When they heard the water draining, he told Jiraiya, "It would be better if you'd stay with us. You seem to calm him down. He treats you like an authority figure, doesn't he?"

"If he doesn't he gets smacked," Jiraiya said.

Kakashi passed them and went into the kitchen. His arms were bare, and Ibiki could see the wounds in them as he passed. They heard him rooting around, and then silence.

"Kakashi?" Jiraiya asked.

"I think we'd better check on him," Ibiki said.

"Knives are in there," Jiraiya said, and Ibiki saw the fear on his face.

"He's not Sakumo," Ibiki said, but he was already moving toward the kitchen. None of the ninjas he'd helped through this had killed themselves yet, but Kakashi's past and his recent self-mutilation suggested suicidal tendencies.

The found him sitting on the floor near the sink. A cabinet was open next to him, and an open box of bandages was in his lap. He held one in his hand, and his head rested against the cabinet.

Ibiki crouched by him. "Kakashi?"

Kakashi's head jerked up, but Ibiki could see that for a moment his eyes didn't focus. "Need to re-bandage my arms," he said. "I fell asleep in the tub and got the bandages wet. Tsunade's going to be mad if I don't take care of this."

Ibiki didn't like how much his voice slurred. Kakashi leaned against the cabinet again and closed his eyes.

Jiraiya shook him by the shoulder, and Kakashi woke. "I'm sorry," he slurred.

_He apologizes too much, _Ibiki thought. _It's not a good sign. He feels guilty about something._

Kakashi blinked several times and rubbed his head. "Why am I in the kitchen?"

"Let's get him on the couch," Ibiki said. "This isn't sleeping. It's passing out."

When they'd moved him to the couch Jiraiya bandaged his arms while Ibiki went to find a medic. Ibiki came back with Sakura.

"I tracked her down," he told Jiraiya. "I thought having his old teammate around might make him feel better. I couldn't find Tsuande-sama, and Sakura has a high level of clearance."

Sakura knelt by the couch and checked his vitals. He woke briefly. "Sakura-chan? What are you doing here?"

"Ibiki said you passed out. How are you feeling?" She placed her hands on his chest and began a diagnostic jutsu.

"I'm just tired," he said. "They won't let me sleep."

She pulled an eyelid up and looked at his eye. "What's been going on?" she asked Jiraiya and Ibiki. "I don't know why I've been kept in the dark, but I have a high enough clearance to know. I can't very well treat him if I don't even know why he's ill."

"We were trying to keep this between the four of us and Tsuande-sama," Ibiki said. "It's on a need to know basis."

"I need to know," Sakura snapped.

"I think he might be having a reaction to some medicine he's on," Ibiki said.

Sakura glared at him. Not many people would dare to glare at Ibiki, and she was one of them. "Jiraiya already gave me that line. You could at least come up with a better lie."

"Oddly enough it started out as a lie, but it might be true," Jiraiya said. "We had to put him on medication to help fight some hallucinations he's been having. He had traumatic things happen when he was in the Sound village. He's been sleeping most of the day, and he passed out a few times when we tried to get him up and moving."

Anko chose that nerve-wracking moment to return home with groceries. She saw Kakashi laying on the couch with two ninjas and a medic hovering over him.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "He didn't hurt himself did he? Please tell me he didn't do that again."

"I think it's the medication," Ibiki said.

"Wait. What do you mean "again"?" Sakura asked. "When did he hurt himself?"

"This isn't about your clearance," Ibiki said. "This is something very personal, and I don't think he wants anyone to know."

"Jiraiya and Anko are family," Sakura said. "Why can you know but not me? He was my Sensei."

"It's part of a mission," Ibiki said. "Anko is upset and said more than she should have. Please respect his privacy. I'll talk to him about this when he wakes up, and if he's ready to talk to you he will. He doesn't need to be stressed right now."

"Then what do you need from me?" she asked. "You can't ask me to treat him without even knowing what the problem is."

"He's on Thormabine," Ibiki said. "I've seen patients react with some depression after getting on new meds, but this seems more like he's passing out. It's a new medication, but I've never heard of patients reacting like this."

"That's not a side effect of Thormabine," Sakura said. "He might be allergic. I need to run some tests. Is there anything else you can tell me?"

Kakashi slept the deep sleep of the drugged, unaware of the anxiety around him.

"There isn't much else I could tell you that would be helpful," Ibiki said. "Everything else is a personal matter. As his counselor I can't divulge confidences to anyone."

"I understand," she said. "Let him know I want to talk to him if you see him awake before I do. Let's get him back to the hospital so I can run some tests. We'll take him off the medication in stages unless he's in danger. It's better not to stop an anti-psychotic medication all at once."

"I think I know enough about anti-psychotics without being lectured by a kid," Ibiki said.

Sakura's eyebrow rose. "Really? Then why am I here?"

The two of them glared at each other, marking their territory.

They heard a weak voice from the couch. "Sakura?"

"I'm here," she said. "You could have told me."

"I'm glad you're here," he said.

"They won't tell me anything," she said. "It would help me to treat you if I knew what was wrong."

He looked at the floor for a moment. "I've been seeing things," he said. "I keep thinking I'm being attacked. I don't want to talk about it any more than that."

He yawned and she saw his eyelid droop. "It's not that I don't trust you," he said. "I just…don't want anyone else to know."

"I won't pry," she said, "but you know I'm here if you need me."

"I know," he said. "That helps."

"I'm going to have to take you back to the hospital," she said. "I think you're having an allergic reaction."

He didn't answer, and she saw his eyelids flutter and close. "I'll be back," she said. "I'm going to send medics and a stretcher."

After they left Anko fussed over Kakashi, slipping a pillow under his head and pulling a blanket over him.

"How are you doing with all this?" Ibiki asked Jiraiya.

"My nephew is dying slowly in front of me, and I can't do anything about it," he said. "I can't even take revenge against the man who did this to him, because it would cost Konoha countless lives."

"He bought peace with his body," Anko said. "We can't take that away from him."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kiria was with Ichigo when he woke. He didn't wake slowly, like a civilian. His eyes shot open, and he sat up quickly, looking about for enemies.

"This isn't how orientation said things would happen," he said, referring to the tapes he'd watched while he was in hibernation.

"There were unexpected developments," Kiria said. Her tone had changed to that of a Jounin – a leader among her people. As a ninja she had her shortcomings, but she was respected for her ability to inspire people with the desire to follow her. "We have a mission already. Are you ready to serve your village Ichigo?"

"Hai," he said, his dark eyes burned with intensity.

"We are to stay here until the village elder involved in this mission returns. I will be leaving the village in two days on a mission. You will be coming with me."

"Yes ma'am," he said. "May I ask a question?"

"I don't know if I can answer you or not, but you may ask," she said.

"Are you my mother?"

"What?" she asked. _How smart is this kid? _She wondered. If he was anything like Kabuto fooling him would be difficult.

"It's just that I see myself in the mirror behind you, and I was wondering," he said. "We look so much alike. Nothing about this situation is what I expected."

"I am," she said. "I was going to tell you later. You are a unique clone."

"How am I unique?" he asked.

_How do I keep from telling him too much?_ She wondered. _I want him to know who he is so badly._

"The clones of the village are being killed by a madman," she said. "You've been chosen to leave the village and help ensure the survival of the next generation." It was a useful half-truth.

"How?" he asked. "What do I need to do?"

"Survive," she said. "Just survive."

"That doesn't sound too difficult," he said.

"You'd be surprised. We might get to our destination without trouble, or we might be attacked by powerful ninjas. If we are, your orders are to proceed to our destination alone."

"I wouldn't abandon a comrade, especially my own mother!" he said.

"Don't forget that your mother is a Jounin," Kiria said. "You will obey orders. Besides, any enemy I can't handle could wipe his nose with you."

"I don't want to run," he said.

"Of course you don't. You're a Sound ninja, and you're my son. Sometimes it's necessary. It's called strategic retreat. I don't anticipate meeting anyone I can't handle. If you try to stay and fight you'll just be a distraction."

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"That's on a need to know basis, and you don't need to know yet," she said.

"Yes, ma'am," he said.

She heard his stomach growl. "I'll get us some food."

He followed her into the kitchen, and she smiled to see him in his father's shorts, holding them up to keep them from falling off.

"Why am I allowed a mother when the orientation tapes said we'd never know our parents? They said the Sound Village was our mother and father."

"That's information I can't give you," she said. "Someone involved in the cloning program found out you were going to be killed and rescued you. I can only hope he can do the same for more children."

"He must be a good man," Ichigo said.

"That depends on how you define good, I guess," Kiria said. "He's loyal to the Sound, and he's brave. He's a strong ninja that puts his duty first. I suppose that's as close as a ninja gets to being a good person."

They heard the front door shut, and Kiria pushed Ichigo into the closet. "Stay there," she said. "It could be friend or foe." She pulled her kunai and faded into the shadows, blending in such a way that only someone looking for her could find her.

Kabuto stepped into the room. "Kiria?"

She came out of the shadows behind him, her form melting from darkness into a human shape. "I was afraid it might be an intruder," she said.

"Where is Ichigo?" Kabuto asked.

"In the closet, by my orders," Kiria said. "You can come out now, Ichigo."

He stepped out of the closet, obviously trying to look like an adult ninja, but Kiria could barely keep a straight face as Ichigo tried his best to appear dignified in clownishly oversized shorts.

"Kabuto-san?" Ichigo asked. "I had no idea this was such a high-security issue."

"You have no idea," Kabuto said. "This mission will change how the Sound functions forever. I can't tell you much more right now, but you'll understand later."

"Yes, Kabuto-san," Ichigo said.

"I need to speak to Kiria alone," he said. "Stay here until I come for you."

He took Kiria to the kitchen so they could have some privacy, and he made a clone. "Keep an eye on Ichigo," he told the clone. "Make sure he doesn't sneak out."

The clone nodded and cast a jutsu on the stethoscope around its neck. It pressed the amplified medical tool against the bedroom wall.

"It can hear anything Ichigo does in that room," Kabuto said. "We can speak freely as long as we're quiet."

She hugged him, asking nothing more than to be held in return. "Did it work?" she asked.

"I told Orochimaru I had to flush your children. He believed it."

"So the other one died?" she asked. "He didn't even have a name."

"If I'd let him be born he would have been horribly ill. He wouldn't have lived long, and he would have been in pain the whole time. We rarely have such drastic problems. I weed out the unfit genes. The only reason I'm having such difficulty with Orochimaru's clones is that he's done things to that body that have warped it on a cellular level. You wouldn't believe the work it takes just to keep him alive at times."

"He never even had a funeral," she said softly. "He should have had at least that."

"He has a memorial in your heart," Kabuto said. "That's more than the clones Orochimaru killed got."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Kakashi smelled Sakura in the hospital room before he saw her. She always wore a floral perfume lately. He found it obnoxious. _Why do women mess with that stuff? _He wondered. At least she had enough sense not to wear scent on a mission.

"That perfume announces itself," Kakashi said.

"Says the man who wears Eau de Dog," Sakura said.

"It's a natural smell," he said.

"So is donkey sweat, but I don't roll in it," she said, with a small smile that was reserved for her favorite sensei.

"I swear sometimes you just seem to be out to do the most unique things to your body," she said. "Did you know that there are four mentions of you in the medical texts?"

"I'm not surprised," Kakashi said. "I go all out. Things happen."

"Hmpf… things happened this time, all right," she said. "You don't have to tell me what's going on, but you don't have to hide from me either."

"I haven't been hiding from you specifically," he said. "I haven't wanted to see anyone."

"Do you want me to go?" she asked. "If you are uncomfortable I'll leave. You said you were glad to see me."

"I was," he said. "You can stay if you want. I'd like the company."

"You're contradictory," she said. "I don't think you know what you want."

"I want my friends around," he said. "I just don't want them to see me this way."

"Well, I've already seen you, so it's not something to worry about," she said.

A tentacle came out of the wall and wrapped around Sakura's leg. Kakashi felt coldness come over him, but Sakura didn't say anything.

"Are you ok?" she asked

"I'm fine," he said. "I just see some odd things at times."

He knew the tentacle wasn't real, but seeing it plunge under her dress made him jump.

"What was that?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said. "I'm just jumpy."

"You need to tell someone if you're having problems."

The tentacle faded from his sight. "It's not that bad."

She pushed a bit of hair behind her ear.

"You look different than the last time I saw you," he said. "Did you curl your hair?"

She blushed and touched her hair. It had gotten longer, and she had obviously begun spending more time with it.

"Ino thought it might be a good look for me."

"And you're wearing that perfume now," he said. "Who are you after? Is it me? Because I'm married now; you shouldn't have waited so long."

She rolled her eyes. "Honestly, if I didn't know how full of shit you were I'd think you were conceited."

"So who is it?" he asked.

"I don't want to tell you," she said. "You'll laugh."

"I won't," he said. "Ninja's honor."

Her eyes narrowed. "That's a peculiar oath. I don't think I trust it."

"I'll try not to laugh," he said. "How's that?"

"Not good enough," she said.

"Tell me something," Kakashi said. "I've been so buried in my own problems I'd like to hear about someone else's life."

"It's someone I've known professionally, a bit. We had a mission together a year or so ago, and I got to know him more. I don't think I have a chance with him."

"Why not?" Kakashi asked. "I thought you were over all that little-girl unconfident business."

"It's not that," she said. "He's older than me."

"How much older?"

"A lot," she said.

"So he's about my age?"

"I guess so," she said.

"I knew it was me," he said with a smirk. It was good to bother Sakura again.

"Someone's feeling cheeky," she said.

"Well yeah," he said. "I'm not seeing anything wanting to attack me at the moment, and I'm finally getting to talk to someone not involved in my drama. It's refreshing. The new medicine seems to be working better."

"Is there anyone else you want to see?" she asked. "The story going around the village is that you're having a relapse of the disease you picked up last year. I could tell people you're getting better if you want. Naruto and Gai really want to see you, and they're making pests of themselves."

"I'd love to see them, but one at a time," Kakashi said. "They'd be too much to handle together right now."

"I'll speak with Tsunade-sama," Sakura said. "I don't know what's so secretive about your case, but I need to make sure I'm not interfering with anything official."

When Naruto arrived Kakashi was asleep again. He woke and blinked red-rimmed eyes. "Naruto?"

"Yeah. You gotta quit doing this," Naruto said. "I made a new jutsu, and we can't spar until you quit messing yourself up."

"I'll make a note of that," Kakashi said. "I was planning on fighting Akatsuki myself later, but your words of wisdom have changed my mind."

He saw the ghost of a tentacle protrude from Naruto's mouth, and he sighed. "I think it might be time for more medication," he said.

"Are you in pain?" Sakura asked.

"No – the other medication," he said.

"I'll speak to Tsuande-sama," Sakura said.

"You should probably ask Ibiki while you're at it," Kakashi said. "He's the specialist."

"Mmmm… If I must," she said.

"What is it with you two?" Kakashi asked. "I've never seen anyone but Tsuande-sama cross him like you do and get away with it.

"He's just an arrogant man," Sakura said. "It annoys me."

Naruto leaned closer to her, squinting. "What did you do to your hair?" he asked. "It looks weird."

"Baka!" Sakura yelled, before she hit him on the shoulder. She didn't put any chakra into it, but Naruto still hit the wall hard.

"Ow!" he said, rubbing his shoulder. "What was that for?"

"What do you think it was for? You're oblivious!"

"I am not," he said. "I'm the exact opposite of oblivious."

She stormed out.

"You don't know what oblivious means, do you?" Kakashi asked.

"It means stupid," he said, pouting.

"No. It means you don't notice things," Kakashi said.

"Oh. That's not so bad. At least she didn't say I'm stupid."

"She's been wearing perfume and curling her hair. What do you think it means?" Kakashi asked. He was enjoying getting to watch the kids act like kids.

"You think she has a boyfriend?" Naruto asked.

"She wouldn't tell me who it was," Kakashi said. "Do you know who it might be? Has she been around anyone more than usual?"

"Just Gai-Sensei," Naruto said. "You don't think… Ew."

"I doubt it," Kakashi said. "I'm curious now." He ignored the octopus behind Naruto. He was having a good time for the first time since he'd discovered how much Orochimaru had done to him, and he wasn't going to let some hallucinations ruin his time with his friend.

Naruto's face became crafty, and Kakashi saw the fox marks on his cheeks darken a bit. Foxes were mischievous creatures, and Naruto was every bit as troublesome at times. "I'm going to find out who he is."

"What if it's not a he?" Kakashi asked, just to mess with Naruto's brain.

Naruto's eyes grew wide. "Do you mean a girl?" he asked.

"It does happen," Kakashi said.

"It could be Ino," Naruto said. He stopped talking and got a far-away look in his eyes. He licked his lips. "That would be so hot."

"Don't let your imagination get away from you," Kakashi said. "I was just messing with you."


	14. Chapter 14

AN: Whew. Final chapter. I've enjoyed writing this, and a large part of that was because of my reviewers. I appreciate you guys so much. I love Kakashi, of course, but I'm really liking Kabuto in this one. That's new for me. I usually hate him. I hope you follow my next story. It's going to be Sakumo and Kakashi father son bonding, but more sad than fluff.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxx

Sakura made her report to Tsunade. "He's still seeing things," she said.

"Did he think you were there for strictly social reasons?" Tsunade asked.

"He did. I don't understand what you want from me. How am I supposed to evaluate him without knowing what I'm looking for?"

"Kakashi and I are very close," Tsunade said. "I'm afraid my relationship to him might be biasing my diagnosis. I want to know what someone somewhat removed from the situation saw."

"He looks horrible," Sakura said. "He's malnourished, twitchy, and he has a messed up knee. I can't tell much more without examining him more closely. He seems to have shaken off the effects of the medicine, and he said the new medication is working better."

"What did you think about his mental state?" Tsunade asked.

"He seemed cognizant, but he mentioned "seeing things", and once he got this frightened look. When I asked him what was wrong he wouldn't say, but I know that look. He was afraid of something in the room, and there wasn't anyone there but me and him."

"Thank you Sakura," Tsunade said. "I'll call you if I need you again."

"Yes, Tsuande-sama," Sakura said.

She stopped by the police station on the way home. Something bothered her, and she wanted to get it out of her system.

She waited until Ibiki got finished with his interrogation, and then she waited longer until he came back from washing the blood of his latest victim off himself.

"Well?" he asked. "I assume you're here about Kakashi. You know I can't tell you anything."

She sat in a chair, uninvited and not caring that she was uninvited. "I'm not here to ask about Kakashi. I know you're just doing your duty. I figured out you're treating him for something, and if you can't tell me what's wrong you can at least involve me in his treatment."

"I don't have time for this," Ibiki said. "Tsuande-sama and I have this under control. One more person involved at this point would just make things more complicated."

"I'm not just "one more person", Sakura said. "I'm someone close to him who has medical training. I think that puts me in a unique position to help him."

"Sakura, do you really think that, or are you just trying to find an excuse to be involved? I know you care about him, but you're not going to fit in to my treatment plan any more than the rest of his friends. I'm doing the best I can for him, but I don't need interference."

"Interference?" she asked. "You're an arrogant man Ibiki," she snapped.

He shrugged. "I've been called worse."

"I'm sure you have," she said.

"I like a fiery spirit, but not when I'm on a mission, and Kakashi is my mission. Don't interfere. I'll bring you into things as soon as I can."

They locked eyes again, testing each other.

"I really will include you when I can," he said. "I've heard that you're territorial about your patients. I am too. This isn't your jurisdiction, and you know it."

She nodded briskly and walked out of the police station. She ran into Sai on the way home. He had just come from helping people outside the village, and he was covered in a light layer of ash.

"Hello, Sakura-chan," he said. "You look even uglier than the last time I saw you."

"I'm not in the mood, Sai," she said.

"I read about moods," Sai said. "The book said to be aware of a comrade's mood and act accordingly."

She sent him an ugly look.

"What exactly is your mood then?" he asked.

"I'm furious!" she said. "That Ibiki is just so _arrogant._ He drives me nuts."

"But you go out of your way to be around him," Sai said.

"I most certainly do not!" she said.

"Sorry, Sakura-chan. Have I done something wrong again? The book isn't specific enough at times."

"It's not you Sai, it's me," she said.

"Isn't that what a man says to a woman when they break up?" Sai asked.

"Yes, but it's also what I need to say because I've been really dumb."

"I doubt that could ever happen."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kabuto held Kiria's hand, stroking it gently. "I can see Ichigo today, and then you have to go. Don't let him know I'm his father until you're either safely on your way back here or I'm dead and you're living in Konoha."

"I don't know if he'll stay there," she said.

"It's his choice. I know he's just a kid, but he's also a ninja. Live a full life if I die. I want to believe I'm doing something for my village, but if I can't I'd like to at least know I saved you."

"You're so morbid lately," she said. "I know you'll survive."

"I wish I was so sure," Kabuto said.

"You have something on your side Orochimaru could never have. You have a family to live for. He just has himself."

"The worst of it is that he really does love us, in his way," Kabuto said. "It makes it so hard for me to do this."

"I respect you for it," Kiria said.

"You shouldn't. I'm a traitor. I accept that. I have to do this, but if I live I'll always feel like I killed someone who was the most important part of my life since I was a kid."

"He was important to me too," Kiria said, "but he killed innocent Sound children. He put our future at stake; you said so."

"I did, didn't I? It's too late to second guess myself now. What's begun has to be finished."

He released the clone and returned to his son. "Kiria tells me you're ready to serve your village," Kabuto said.

"Sir, yes sir!" Ichigo said, snapping to attention with one hand while holding the boxers up with the other.

Kabuto tossed him a package. "Here are some clothes that will fit better. You'll be undercover for your first mission. You're just a gypsy. You and Kiria will be traveling together, and she'll give you instructions as you need them.

Did the tapes tell you about the cloning program?" Kabuto asked.

"They did, sir."

"Then you know that I'm the head of that department. I've taken a personal interest in you, Ichigo. You're one of the few clones to escape a murderous "cleansing" lately. I'm doing what I can to save as many as possible, but it's important that you get away from the village."

"When will I be returning?" Ichigo asked. For the first time Kabuto saw something besides intensity on his face. He saw a brief flash of uncertainty, and then the young ninja's stoic face returned.

"I'm not sure. I'll send word when it's time. These are dangerous times, and too many things can go wrong."

"Yes sir," Ichigo said.

"I have a lot of work today, so I probably won't see you again before you leave. Good luck." He held his hand out, and Ichigo took it in a firm handshake. "I'm glad I got to know you a bit."

"Yes sir," Ichigo said. "It's an honor sir."

Kabuto made his way to Orochimaru's house nervously. He was sure Orochimaru had noticed the distance he'd placed between them since the "Kakashi incident" as he thought of it. He needed to bridge the gap in the next couple of weeks. Kiria would be due back about then, and Kabuto had already decided to spring his trap just before she should get back. That way if he died she'd have more time to hide herself in Konoha.

Orochimaru was sorting through paperwork. He scowled at Kabuto. "Where have you been?" he asked.

"I'm sorry sir," Kabuto said. "I didn't get a summons. Did you need me?"

"Of course I need you!" Orochimaru snapped. "The clone program needs work. I need an heir, Kabuto."

"I know sir," Kabuto said. "I have a Chunin in mind to try next. Her family history suggests robust genetics."

"Let's hope so," Orochimaru said.

"Sir, I'd like to speak plainly," Kabuto said.

"Again? If this is about Kakashi again you'd better let it lie."

_He's in a horrible mood, _Kabuto thought. He needed to get this going. He had groundwork to set so that when he finally hooked Orochimaru the old snake wouldn't be suspicious.

"It is about Kakashi," Kabuto said. "What did he ever do for you that I didn't?"

This caught Orochimaru by surprise. "What are you talking about?"

"I mean why did you choose him instead of me? I've offered myself to you numerous times. Why him?"

"Kabuto, we've been through this," Orochimaru said. "I just don't see you that way. Anyway, I used him and threw him away. You mean more than that to me."

Kabuto felt a stab of guilt as he realized that Orochimaru probably meant what he was saying. It wouldn't have stopped Orochimaru from killing him for personal gain, but in his own twisted way he loved everyone in his village. _It's too bad that doesn't stop his insanity,_ Kabuto thought.

Orochimaru stepped close to him and cupped his jaw in his hand. He held his face, studying it. Kabuto felt his heart beating faster, and it wasn't from fear. _Damn me, _he thought. He was still attracted to his master, even if he was a monster. He'd wanted him too long to simply put those feelings aside because he wanted to.

"Do you want me Kabuto?" Orochimaru asked in a whisper.

"O yes," Kabuto said. It wasn't a manipulative ploy at the moment. He really did want Orochimaru to take him, right then.

"Serve me well and I'll take you," Orochimaru said. "Consider it a reward for being such a great help to me."

"Thank you sir," Kabuto said. _He's toying with me – playing me to keep my loyalties, _Kabuto thought.

That night he went home long after Ichigo was asleep. He woke Kiria and they made love one last time, perhaps the last time they'd ever make love. They were both quiet and intense, savoring every precious moment, both aware it might be the last of such moments.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Kakashi grew stronger physically, and Ibiki's therapy helped him heal mentally – even if it was a slow process. He didn't know what Ibiki was doing, but it seemed like the details were fading, almost as if they had happened to someone else.

"Are you losing weight?" he asked during one of their sessions.

"I might be," Ibiki said. "Crime is up with all the new people in town. I don't always take time to eat."

Kakashi thought he might be lying. He had dark patches under his eyes, and he looked exhausted.

"Let's begin," Ibiki said. "You know the drill."

Kakashi sat back in the chair and let Ibiki put his hands to his temples. "What is it you do in my head while I'm unconscious?" he asked. "It's hard to let someone have this much control. I want to know."

Ibiki pulled his hands away and rubbed at his forehead. "You don't want to know. Trust me on that. I'll tell you when we finish the therapy. It's something you would find distasteful, at least. I need you to trust that I'm doing this to help you."

"It is helping," Kakashi said. "I don't see the tentacles anymore. The memories still mess with me, but it's getting better slowly."

Ibiki smiled, but Kakashi had seen enough fake smiles to know one when he saw one. "I'm glad," Ibiki said. "It makes this worthwhile if my mission is a success."

It was the same as always. He blacked out and woke up in the same place, with Ibiki panting and sweating profusely in front of him.

"Does the jutsu use a lot of chakra?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah," Ibiki said. His voice sounded weak. "It's why I can't do it more than once a week."

After Kakashi left Ibiki dragged himself to his office. He took the bottle of Scotch out of his desk and opened it. After staring at it for a few minutes he took a long drink, and then another. The things he did in Kakashi's mind were painful. If Kakashi knew how much he damaged himself every time he did that jutsu he'd stop the therapy. He had to absorb a bit of Kakashi's mental illness every time. It was only because he was already insane that he was able to handle it.

Ibiki didn't notice how much he was drinking until the bottle was empty. He tossed it in the trash and sat with his head bowed, trying to shut out Kakashi's memories.

Suddenly Ibiki was in _that place_, being hurt by Orochimaru. _This isn't real, _he thought. _These are Kakashi's memories, not mine._

It was that one part of the memory too – when Orochimaru had first ripped Kakashi open. Ibiki could feel the tentacles, the humiliation, and the fear. He knew that if someone came to him they could pull him out of this. It had happened before when he helped torture victims. When he touched Kakashi's mind he didn't just see the memories, he was taking them from him, making them his own.

_Everyone is gone for the day, _he thought. _Why the hell did I drink so much?_ It might have been easier to break out of his trance if he wasn't so drunk.

The scene played over and over in his mind. _How long can I take this and come out with any shred of sanity left? _he wondered. It had never been that bad before.

He felt hands on his chest, warm and healing. Chakra flowed into him; he knew the feeling by now. A face appeared, blurry but welcome.

_How did I end up on the floor? _He wondered.

"Lay still," he heard. "I can't diagnose you if you keep trying to get up."

"Was I trying to get up?" he asked. The voice sounded familiar. He couldn't quite place who she was, but he knew she was a trusted comrade.

"Don't fight me, you stubborn old fool," he heard. Now he knew the voice.

"Sakura? I'm ok. I just need some time to recover."

"You're ok my ass," she said. "You're going to the hospital."

"The hell I am," he said. "I know my own mind well enough to know when I need help or not."

"I outrank you right now," she said. "An injured ninja is always subordinate to medical personnel."

"So that's how it's going to be," he said. "I'll remember this."

"I'm going to get a stretcher sent here," she said.

When she got back he was gone. "Son of a bitch!" she said, putting her fist through his desk. It shattered and lay in pieces on the floor.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The day came for Kiria to leave, and she and Ichigo snuck out of the village. They moved in silence, traveling by night and hiding by day. Ichigo didn't ask about the mission; he knew better. Kiria was entirely focused – no longer the soft emotional woman she was in the village. Out here she was a rock hard jounin. She knew that some of the villagers thought she shouldn't have made jounin, but she was up to the task. _Orochimaru was the only one who ever saw my potential,_ she thought with a twinge of sadness and guilt. _No matter. It's too late now, and we can't stop anyway._

The second day they made camp she noticed Ichigo watching her. "Mother, what does it mean to be a ninja?" he asked. "I know what the tapes said, but I want to know what you think."

"It's hard for me to put into words," she said. "It means something different for everyone. To some it's just a job, and to a lot of ninjas it's helping their village become stronger. For me it's loyalty to my village." She stopped and chocked up.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"You'll learn as you get older that loyalty is complicated. Honor is complicated, and sometimes you have to sacrifice one allegiance because of another. It hurts, but you'll have to do it. Everyone does."

"You're doing it now, aren't you?" he asked.

"You're as smart as your father," she said. "Yes, I am doing it right now. This is the hardest mission I've ever had. I was ordered to help the person who killed my family once, and it wasn't as hard as this."

"You know who my father is?" he asked excitedly.

"I do," she said. "I'm under orders not to tell you until we reach a certain part of this mission."

Ichigo smiled. "Is he a good ninja?" he asked.

"The best," she said. "He's absolutely the best, and he's sacrificing his own honor for the good of his village right now. You might not ever meet him, but you should know that no matter what happens your father is a man who is giving his soul for the people he loves."

"I don't like that I can't be fighting at his side," Ichigo said. "It's a son's right."

She had to work to keep a smile from her face. She didn't want to insult the boy. "You're just a kid," she said. "You're brave, but you're not experienced yet. It takes time to learn things the tapes can't teach you."

"I understand," he said. "You'll teach me then? I want to fight my father's enemies."

"Of course I will," she said. "You're a good boy, Ichigo. I'm already proud of you."

"Thank you mother," he said. "I hope my father will be proud of me too."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ibiki was irritated with the effort he had to put out to avoid Sakura. She seemed to be everywhere, and even though she didn't say anything about him sneaking out on her she didn't bother hiding her anger in her face.

Kakashi's therapy wore Ibiki out. He couldn't stop now, or he'd cause Kakashi more damage than help. He had to retreat to his office and hide from the world after each long session. The sessions only lasted an hour each, but they seemed like an eternity.

His office had a small back room, furnished only with a cot and a small table. It was the place he retreated when he had to work around the clock for several days. He would crash for an hour or so and get back to work.

One night he lay on the cot, thinking about anything but the therapy. He tried to focus on his other work, but he kept seeing things. He didn't see tentacles; he saw a smiling man with a drill, moving toward his forehead with excruciating slowness.

Someone knocked at his door. "It's open," he yelled.

"Ibiki?" he head form his outer office. Sakura opened the door to his back room. "I love what you've done with the place," she said. "It's very Spartan."

"Not now Sakura," he said. "I've had a bad day. I don't want to deal with you."

"You will deal with me, or you'll deal with Tsunade," Sakura said. "I've been trying to talk to you. You're not well, and it's my duty as a doctor to see that you get help."

"I refuse your assistance," he said. "You're getting into my business. You need to go before you make me mad."

Sakura snorted a short laugh. "You're not speaking to some scared Genin," she said.

He had a flash of memory, of a drill entering his head in just the right spot to hit the part of the brain that controlled motor response. He remembered losing control of his limbs and bowels - the pain and humiliation. He was still feeling the effect of being in Kakashi's head, of making his humiliation and pain his own.

"You're not well," Sakura said, and he snapped back to reality. "Come to the hospital."

She stood with her hands on her hips. Something snapped in him, and he threw her against the wall. "Do you have any idea who you're talking to?" he asked. "I could turn your mind to jello. I could make you wish you were never born."

She didn't look scared. She pushed him away from her. She was stronger than any person he'd ever dealt with, and he'd sparred with Naruto a few times. The small woman in front of him was pushing him away with almost no effort.

She spun him around, pinning him against the wall where he'd just held her. "Do you really think you can hold me?" she asked. "You forget that I have Tsunade's strength. You could turn my brain to jello? I can do this."

She moved one hand from his shoulder to his hand, and she began to squeeze. The smile on her face made him think she was enjoying this. He felt a bone in his hand crack, but he didn't say anything. He wouldn't give her the satisfaction.

"I can heal you later," she said. "I think I want to play a bit."

One of his eyebrows went up. "So you think you can handle me, huh? We'll see about that."

He swept her feet out from under her and knocked her to the floor. Some people refer to copulation as sex, some as love-making, some as more vulgar terms. What happened between Ibiki and Sakura could be more accurately described as a combat – a combat with two winners.

"I suppose you think you've won," she said when they were through. She shifted to a more comfortable position on the floor. _I think I have a broken rib, _she thought.

"I think we both got what he wanted," he said.

"Do you need that cut healed?" she asked, referring to the gash she'd left in his arm. She'd wanted to be taken, but she'd be damned if he thought his little trick that landed her on the floor had gotten him the upper hand.

"Yeah. It's a good thing you're a medic or we might have some embarrassing questions to answer. I won this round though."

"Are you sure I didn't let you win?" she asked.

"Congratulations. You're the only woman that could have ever gotten away with even trying that and live."

"Then you might like to know that I only used a fraction of my strength," she said.

"We're going to have to spar sometime," he said.

"I thought that's what we just did," she said.

"No, I mean really spar," he said. "Winner gets to tie the loser down."  
"Sounds fun," she said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXx

Kiria reached Konoha without incident, because she was an expert at hiding. She taught Ichigo how to fade into the shadows, becoming a shadow himself. She didn't know whose genes she'd been given, but none of the other Sound ninjas could do it.

She tried to get to know Ichigo as much as she could, and she was a little sad when they saw the city gates. It was the end of a dangerous part of the mission, but now she had to lose part of his attention. He would begin to grow up now, and she wouldn't know him in the same way ever again.

She didn't want to try to speak with security at the gate. Announcing herself by her true identity would be the height of foolishness. She chose to go to the one person in Konoha she could trust.

"Kiria?" Kakashi asked when he opened the door. "No one told me you were coming here."

"No one knew," she said. "It's complicated. Can I talk to you inside?"

"Sure," he said, "but I have to take you to Tsunade after that."

"Of course."

Ichigo stood behind her. "Come meet your…uncle," she said.

He stepped forward. "She didn't tell me I had family in Konoha," he said. He held his hand out. "I'm honored to meet you, Oji-Kakashi."

Kakashi was amused by the child's formality. "You look like your mother," he said. "Come in."

The boy stood awkwardly in the living room. Kakashi invited them to sit down. "Why are you two in Konoha? We really should have been informed. I'm glad to see you, but this could cause trouble."

"We had to leave the Sound," Kiria said. "There's something happening up there that puts my son's life at stake. It puts dozens of the Sound village children at stake, and I have a mission that I'm on. I do need to speak to your Hokage. I'm not hiding from her; I'm hiding from someone in my village."

"It's impressive that you two made it all the way here without detection," Kakashi said.

"Won't it look odd with you escorting two gypsies to the Hokage tower?" she asked.

"Not lately," he said. "We've had what you could call a "shake up in the social structure". That's what Iruka calls it anyway. You'd be surprised at how things work around here. Some of the most humble people have some important work to do right now."

Ichigo kept a serious face as they walked to Tsunade's office, but Kakashi noticed him glancing around. "Do you want me to show you around later?" he asked.

"I would like to see the village," Ichigo said. "why is there ash everywhere?"

"The volcano erupted recently," Kakashi said. "It's been over for a while now, but we still get some ash fall."

"Wait here for a few minutes," he said as they reached Tsunade's outer office. "I need to speak to her."

Ichigo waited outside Tsunade's office, keeping a rigid posture and blank face. "Have a seat," Shizune said.

He didn't sit until Kiria sat. "Don't be afraid," Kiria whispered. "We have family here – adopted family, but still family."

"I'm not sure how to act here," Ichigo said. "The tapes didn't cover anything like this."

"The tapes were only supposed to get you ready to begin your life as a Genin. Nothing like this is supposed to happen to children. Trust me and do the best you can. You'll be fine."

"Yes, ma'am," he said.

He sat quietly, but Kiria noticed how tense he was. When Tsunade summoned them, Ichigo stayed behind her, as was appropriate for a Genin.

Tsunade waved them toward seats. Kakashi stood nearby. Kiria wondered if he was there to support Tsunade or as a guard in case of attack. Probably a little of both.

"Kakashi told me what he knows about your visit, but I'd like to hear it in your words," Tsunade said.

Kiria glanced at Ichigo, wondering how he'd react to finally learning the truth about their "mission". This would probably determine if the boy lived or died, and she couldn't help him. It was all up to him now.

"Tsunade-sama, Orochimaru has betrayed the Sound Village. I've seen evidence that he's been callously killing our children off for no reason other than his own ego."

"It can't be true!" Ichigo said.

"Ichigo, Genin speak when spoken to," Kiria said. She didn't look at him; she didn't want to see the pain he must be feeling.

"That's a serious accusation," Tsunade said. "What does this have to do with Konoha?"

"Even now there is an assassination attempt against Orochimaru. The next Hokage sent me here, and he'll contact me when he's firmly in office."

Tsunade leaned back in her chair and steepled her fingers, holding them close to her face. "That explains why you're here, but not Ichigo. What part does he play?"

_She's smart, _Kiria thought. _Does she suspect who Ichigo is?_

"He's my son," Kiria said. "I was told that he was going to be killed, and I smuggled him out of the village."

"And who gave you this information?" Tsunade asked.

"Kabuto," Kiria said. "He's the one who will be killing Orochimaru, probably about this time."

She heard a sound behind her, a sort of muffled gasp from Ichigo.

"That's unlikely," Tsunade said. "Kabuto has always been slavishly devoted to Orochimaru."

"Orochimaru did something foolish," Kiria said. "He forced Kabuto to choose between his duty as a doctor and a Sound ninja and his duty to Orochimaru. He chose his duty to his village and his calling as a doctor."

Tsunade glanced at Kakashi. "It might be true," she said.

"He wants me to continue Kakashi's work," Kiria said. "We've come so far in our negotiations, and we don't want to see us lose more people for an old man's foolish actions."

"It would make more sense to send a diplomat after the assassination," Tsunade said. "Why did he send you before his plan was complete? Your story falls short, Kiria."

"He sent me ahead for personal reasons, Tsuande-sama. He hoped that if he failed Ichigo and I might live here peacefully. He saved Ichigo for me, but we had to leave while Orochimaru was still alive."

"We'll find out if Kabuto contacts us," Tsunade said. "I'll allow you to stay here, but you'll be in our custody."

"Of course," Kiria said.

"I'll put you in Kakashi's care," Tsunade said. "I'm sure you and your son have things to discuss."

"We have a guest room," Kakashi said. "You're both welcome."

Ichigo didn't say anything as they walked to Kakashi's house. "Do you think Anko will mind?" Kiria asked.

"I doubt it," Kakashi said. "She'll love Ichigo."

Anko was gone, which made things easier. He didn't know if she'd be jealous or not. Probably not, but he didn't want to have to deal with that right now. He showed them to their room and left them alone.

He slipped a window open slightly and stepped into the kitchen so the ANBU could sneak in. He hadn't been told one would be there; he just assumed. He heard the slip of silk, so quiet he only noticed because he was waiting for it. He hoped Kiria was telling the truth. The ANBU would be listening, and Kakashi thought that he would probably have orders to kill if need be.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bird hid in the crawl-space above Kakashi's guest room. Most ninjas couldn't fit in such a small space, but Bird was only 10. He was the second youngest Anbu ever, other than Kakashi. He moved into position silently, waiting to see if the Sound ninja was a threat or a possible ally. Tsunade had been clear about his orders.

"Mother, was it true?" Ichigo asked. "How could Orochimaru betray us?"

"We're Sound ninjas," Kiria said. "Orochimaru is like our father, but he's insane. His body is worn out, and his mind is rotting."

"But what did he do?" Ichigo asked. "What can he have possibly done to deserve this? We can't kill him. He's Orochimaru-sama. Even if he deserved it, how could anyone ever be strong enough to do that?"

"Kabuto has a plan," she said. "He didn't tell me how he's going to kill him, but I know he can do it."

"But what is my part in this?" Ichigo asked. "What am I supposed to do?"

"You're my son," she said. "Kabuto loves me, and he saved you for me. That's enough for you to know."

"It feels wrong," Ichigo said.

"That's because it is wrong," Kiria said. "Ninjas should never have to choose between their Hokage and their village. The Hokage is supposed to be the one who sacrifices the most for the people, not the one who takes the most from them."

"If Kabuto fails will we really have to live here?" Ichigo asked.

"I'll stay," Kiria said. "I hope you will too, but it's up to you. We have family here, and that's more than we have anywhere else. I'll ask to be excused from missions against the Sound village, and since I'm sure there will be concern about mixed motives they won't mind."

"I'll stay with you," Ichigo said. "I'd rather serve in Konoha than be a mercenary."

Bird saw Ichigo wipe tears away. "I'm sorry," Ichigo said. "Ninjas shouldn't cry."

"I think it's appropriate," Kiria said. "When Orochimaru went insane a great hero fell, and I mourn the man that I thought I served. I hate what we're doing, but it's necessary."

XXXXXXXXXXX

Orochimaru was working at the lab again, trying to track down the weakness in his own DNA that wouldn't let much of his own genetics be placed in the clones. _I must have perfection,_ he thought. _I didn't sacrifice this much to lose now._

He heard someone enter the room behind him, and he knew it was Kabuto. He'd spent so much time in his presence he knew the sound of his subordinate's steps.

"I'm not getting any close to finding the problem," Orochimaru said.

"I was sent on a special mission," he heard, but the voice wasn't Kabuto's.

He turned, intrigued. Before him stood a different ninja, a young boy with a mask. He had a serious expression and a long scar through one eye.

"He didn't tell me what the mission was," Kabuto said with Kakashi's voice. "He just told me to do whatever you told me."

Orochimaru stepped closer to Kabuto and took his chin in his hand. "Did he now?" he asked. "The mission parameters might be distasteful."

"I've never failed a mission yet, Orochimaru-sama."

"Ku ku ku," Orochimaru chuckled. He pulled down Kabuto's mask and ran his finger over his lips. "You'll go this far for me, Kabuto-kun?"

"I'd do anything to be with you Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto said.

"That's not the face I want to see," Orochimaru said. "I've had him already. I'm very rarely denied anything, and if you want to do anything for me you could give me something I was denied when I was younger."

"I'd be honored," Kabuto said. "What do you want from me?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

It wasn't unusual for ninjas to share a bed on a mission, but as Kiria lay next to her son and listened to him try to stifle his tears she was in another place in her mind. _It was such a short time ago that life was so good, _she thought. She sat up in bed and took her soiled Sound tunic in her hand. She pulled off the jounin pin and turned it over in her hand. She rubbed some dirt off the stylized snake.

"What's that?" she heard from behind her. Ichigo sat by her and sniffled, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

"Go to the bathroom and blow your nose," Kiria said. "That's rude."

Ichigo obeyed her, and she put the pin on the bedside table. Ichigo came out, rubbing his eyes.

"That was my jounin pin," Kiria said. "Orochimaru appointed me himself. I've never felt so proud in my life."

"I thought I'd be born to fight for the Sound village," Ichigo said. "I pictured myself as a hero. If they ever hear of me there they'll just think of me as a traitor."

"Not if things go as planned," Kiria said. "If Kabuto kills Orochimaru then we'll be going home, and they say the victors write history."

"But we'll know we're traitors, won't we?" Ichigo asked quietly. "No matter what anyone else ever says to me, I'll always know that I betrayed Orochimaru-sama."

"You're a Genin," Kiria said. "What could you do? This was the decision of a jounin and a village elder."

"I wouldn't feel like such a traitor if I was just acting against my will," Ichigo said. "If I could tell myself that I was abducted and that I wouldn't be a part of this unless I was forced to, then I could pretend I still had some honor. But the worst part is that I know this has to happen. I know you're not lying to me, and my duty as a Sound ninja has to come before my love for Orochimaru-sama. I'm a traitor, mother. How can I live with that?"

"I feel the same way," Kiria said, "but I plan to live for my village, and my family. I had to choose between two different loyalties. I chose the one that I felt was more deserving. I don't know how you'll learn to live with this. Kabuto will need us to help him when he takes control as Hokage. We still have a role to play in our village."

"Is Kabuto my father?" Ichigo asked. "It fits with what you told me before."

"I wasn't supposed to tell you, but since you figured it out, yes. He wanted you to know, but he was trying to spare you if he failed and Orochimaru killed him. Kabuto has a lot of enemies in this village. We don't want people to know you're his son yet."

"If he has so many enemies here, then why did we come here?" Ichigo asked.

"He's a powerful ninja. He has enemies everywhere. The special thing about Konoha is that they're willing to embrace change when they need to. It's the only place Kabuto and I thought you might have the chance for a future. I don't want you to be a mercenary. There's no honor in the life, and you'd be better dead. I think Kakashi will help protect you if it comes down to it."

"I don't want to serve another village," Ichigo said. "If I can't be a Sound ninja I'd rather be a farmer or something."

Kiria laughed and ruffled his hair. "You look so much like your father right now. There have been too many dark thoughts tonight. You can't do any good for anyone if you're worn out. Sleep."

"I don't feel safe here," Ichigo said. "I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about things."

"You'll always be safe as long as you're with me," she said, "and you're in your uncle's house. We're both jounin. If I feel safe here you can feel safe here. Now be a good little Genin and go to sleep."

He smiled and lay down."I trust you mother," he said.

"Good boy," she said. She didn't feel as sure of herself as she sounded. She could fight, and she could lead people when she needed to, but she was out of her element too. _I have faith in Kabuto,_ she thought. _Orochimaru was a lie, but Kabuto is going to pull us out of this._

She couldn't follow her own advice, and she lay sleepless most of the night. She listened to her son breathe beside her, and a strong resolution filled her. _Everything that I meant to give Orochimaru is mine again, _she thought. _I'll use all of that strength for my family and my village._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kabuto was surprised at Orochimaru's request, but he complied and completed the henge his master had requested.

"Is this what you wanted?" he asked, still not quite believing that this was his master's fantasy.

"Stay in character or there isn't any point to this, "Orochimaru said.

Kabuto grinned widely and took a wide stance. "Then it is I, the great Frog-Sanin. I have been thinking of you fondly Orochimaru."

"Have you now?" Orochimaru asked. Kabuto gulped as he saw Orochimaru's disturbing smile. Orochimaru pushed him roughly to the floor.

"Jiraiya-kun, you look frightened," Orochimaru said.

_Oh shit, _Kabuto thought. _Stay in character. _"I didn't know you were so strong. Were you holding back when we sparred before?"

"Something like that," Orochimaru said. "I'm not holding back tonight."

Kabuto was at a loss for what to say, but when Orochimaru flipped him over on his stomach he got his voice back.

"Don't…don't do to me what you did to Kakashi," Kabuto said. "I don't have a doctor to heal me."

"Stay in character," Orochimaru hissed. "Don't ruin this for me."

Kabuto grinned like he remembered Jiraiya when the old man had been acting foolish. He tried to think of Jiraiya-like things to say. "This will be so amazing it wll be in my next book!" he said.

Kabuto braced himself for what he was sure was going to be an agonizing experience, but instead Orochimaru treated him gently.

"That's it," Orochimaru said. "You didn't think I was going to brutalize you, did you? I always cared about you, Jiraiya-kun. I just couldn't say it. You were always drooling over Tsunade. I never knew how to tell anyone how I felt about them. I'm glad you finally know."

Kabuto knew it was his turn to carry on the charade. "Now you know my secret too," he said with Jiraiya's voice. "If I'd have known I would have told you."

Kabuto was shamed at how much he wanted this. It terrified him, but he still wanted Orochimaru, and as his master's snake scent surrounded him he gave him over for the moment. _I'd better be as into this as he is, _he thought. _He'll know if I'm not._

The sex itself was disappointing. After being with Kiria Kabuto knew what it was like to have a good lover, and Orochimaru was still selfish – even at his best. Kabuto had a sense of something lost. What he'd wanted all his life turned out to be hollow.

Kabuto's clone stepped forward and drew a sword. It struck quickly and Orochimaru slumped over Kabuto's back, pressing him to the floor. Kabuto lay under his master, feeling the weight on his back. He could feel that the head was gone from the body, and blood drained over him.

He knew he should move, but he felt like laying in Orochimaru's blood for a while. "Get up," his clone said. "Did he injure you or something?"

"No," Kabuto said. "But I deserve this. I should lay in his filth until I drown in it. I hope I die here."

"You have family to live for," the clone said. "I get to disappear soon, but you have to live for them."

The clone rolled Orochimaru off of Kabuto. "I know how much he meant to us, but he's not the man we loved. He was a monster in the end."

Kabuto sat up and released the clone. He looked at Orochimaru's blood running over the floor, and he saw his master's head laying in the corner where it had been flung from the powerful sword thrust.

The lab didn't have a full shower, but it did have an eyewash and chemical spill station, and he pulled the emergency lever and let the hot water clean the blood off him. It would never come off his soul, but at least he could look presentable when he went to talk to the jounins.

He stopped in front of one of the tanks, using the reflection as a mirror to see if he'd gotten all the blood off himself. He saw with surprise that he hadn't remembered to drop the henge, and the foolish face of Jiraiya looked back at him. "Fucking Sanins," he said, releasing the jutsu.

He couldn't get the blood out of his clothes, and of course he'd been wearing white. _I'd better change before I go talk to people,_ he thought. He was about to leave, but he stopped and looked at Orochimaru's head uneasily. There hadn't been a battle, and Orochimaru couldn't have expected the attack. _He has to be dead, _Kabuto thought. Just to be sure, he put Orochimaru's head in a bag and took it with him. He'd seen Orochimaru regenerate too many times to be comfortable. It was only logical to know that the old man was dead, but Kabuto couldn't shake the feeling of unease.

_I could just commit ritual suicide, _Kabuto thought. _It would be appropriate._ But no, Ichigo needed him, and even though Kiria could make it just fine on her own he liked to think that she needed him too.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

Bird reported to Tsunade. "I found out more about the child the Sound ninja brought with her," he said.

"I didn't think we knew everything about Ichigo," Tsunade said. "My intuition says he's important."

"I found out he's Kabuto's son," Bird said. "He seems very naïve. Everything she told you sounded true."

"Good job, Bird. Anything else?"

"Kiria seems very attached to Kakashi," Bird said. "I don't know about Ichigo, but I don't think we'll have to worry about Kiria ever turning on us."

Tsunade dismissed Bird and sat down to think. There were so many variables to consider. She hoped Kabuto was really as good as he thought he was.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

When Ichigo woke Kakashi was in the living room working on some papers. "I'm going to be taking over as head of the academy here," he said. "You never know. If you stay here I might end up being your sensei."

"Do you always wear your mask at home?" Ichigo asked.

Kiria smacked Ichigo across the back of the head. "Manners!" she said.

"Sorry," Ichigo said, rubbing the back of his head.

"I usually wear the mask," Kakashi said. "It's a family thing."

Ichigo looked at Kiria. "Can I wear a mask?" he asked. "When we go home everyone will think it's so cool."

She shrugged. "Sure. Why not? Some ninjas do."

"I'll get you one," Kakashi said. He fetched one of his extra masks and watched as Ichigo went to the bathroom to get it to fit properly.

"That's just adorable," Kakashi said.

"He's attaching himself to you quickly," Kiria said. "He didn't have the chance to be socialized properly. The clones all wake up in the same room, and we have a special program set up for them so that they feel safe and loved. I don't know how he's going to react to all this. It's like waking up and suddenly being a pre-teen. He has information, but no experience."

"It's going to be hard for him," Kakashi said.

"It is, but he has us, and hopefully he'll be able to go back to the Sound village."

Ichigo came out with the mask on.

"It's a bit large, but you'll grow into it," Kakashi said.

They went to Tsunade's together, with Kiria and Ichigo still dressed like gypsies. He had to talk Ichigo out of wearing the mask. "You can wear it when you're not in disguise," he said. "We don't fully know the situation yet."

Tsunade welcomed them warmly. "We need to discuss your stay here," she said. "It wouldn't be unusual for country family to live with people in town. Just say your distant cousins of Anko's. No one would really know any different."

"Can I see the village?" Ichigo asked.

"Within reason. There are places I can't let you go, of course. I'll have Kakashi show you around, as much as his knee will allow."

"It's not terrible on level ground," Kakashi said. "I'd be glad to show you around."

He felt so proud of his village as he took the two of them around, seeing the obvious wonder on the boy's face. He took him by all the touristy spots – the ramen shop, the Hokage monument, the market place. "Do you like it?" he asked when they went home.

"Yes," Ichigo said. "It's beautiful, but…"

"But what?" Kakashi asked.

"But it feels wrong that I'm seeing Konoha so much more than I even saw my own village. I'm afraid I'll grow to love this place and forget my home."

"You can love two places," Kakashi said. "It doesn't have to interfere with your duty. Don't worry about things so much. Life is hard enough without stressing out about it so much."

"Thank you, Oji-Kakashi. I'll try to remember that. I'm just afraid my father will be ashamed of me if I don't come home a good Sound ninja."

"I'm sure he'll be proud of you," Kakashi said.

Ichigo had a natural flair for getting to know people. "He must take after you," Kakashi said to Kiria as he watched the boy chatting with Iruka outside the school. He managed to keep his cover, but he still got to know people.

"I hope he keeps this way of being good with strangers," Kiria said. "It will help him, especially if we end up needing to stay here."

"When do you think you'll know if you're staying?" Kakashi asked.

"Soon," she said. "It would have happened by now. Either Orochimaru or Kabuto is dead. It's hard to imagine that Orochimaru might actually die. He was always such a rock in my life. It's like imagining the world without dirt under my feet. I don't know what we're going to do without him."

"You'll survive. We felt that way when our last Hokage died, but we went on. The village is more than its Hokage. It has to be."

"I hope you're right," Kiria said. "He made the Sound. I don't know if we'll live through this."

"I'm sure you will," Kakashi said. "He might have started the village, but there are so many ninjas who believe in the Sound that it will outlive him."

She took his hand. "You're a good brother. Thank you."

"Anytime, ni-chan. Just don't let yourself doubt your own people. You have to have faith in them. I've seen how strong the northern people are. We wouldn't be making an alliance with a weak village."

A few days later a great eagle soared over the village. Villagers and ninjas alike ran outside to see the rare sight.

"What is it?" Ichigo asked. "It's so huge."

The bird was massive, easily five times the size of a normal eagle.

"That's a great eagle," Kiria said. "It's a sign from home."

"Home," Ichigo said. "So we're going to know if we can go back now."

"Don't be afraid," Kiria said. "Only Kabuto knew we were coming here, so the messenger must be a good sign."

Kiria held up her arm and let out a primal screech, mimicking the natural barbaric cry of the bird. Villagers scattered as the massive predatory bird landed on her arm, dwarfing the woman. Only a ninja could have had the strength to hold up such a large animal.

"Your cover is blown now," Kakashi said.

"I guess I got a little overexcited," Kiria said. She took the message from the bird's leg and thanked him. "Go to the top of the Hokage monument and wait for my signal," she told it. The sentient bird nodded and flew away with a screech.

Ichigo was still staring after the bird, as were most of the villagers around them.

Kiria pulled the message open. Kakashi was watching her carefully. She squealed and pulled Ichigo to her from behind. "We're going home!" she said. "We have a home to go to."

Ichigo just blinked at her. "Home?" he asked. "Is father safe?"

"He is," Kiria said. "He wrote that he wants to see you, and that he wants us to leave as soon as possible."

Ichigo ran back toward Kakashi's house. "I guess he's really excited about going back to the Sound village," Kakashi said.

"I hope he's happy there," Kiria said. "I'm nervous myself. I don't know what I'm returning to."

"Let's go help him," Kakashi said. "He's going to try to take every gift his new friends gave him."

"He did make a lot of friends fast, didn't he?" she said.

"Anko and I are going to miss him," Kakashi said.

"You don't have to," Kiria said. "With you unable to come to us it might make sense to have a diplomat rooted in both villages. He has the temperament for it."

"I would think his father would want him to be a medical ninja like himself," Kakashi said.

"You knew?" Kiria asked.

"I guessed," Kakashi said. "It was pretty obvious."

"I didn't want to tell you," she said. "I was afraid you might let your past with Kabuto affect your relationship with Ichigo."

"If it wasn't for Kabuto I wouldn't be alive," Kakashi said. "I'll never like the little shit, but I remember those who help me, and he did some things I can't ever forget."

As they walked back to his place they passed the training fields, and they heard a primal scream Kakashi recognized.

"What is that?" Kiria asked as shards of rock flew through the air.

"Oh, that's just Sakura and Ibiki sparring again," Kakashi said. "They've been doing it a lot lately. I wouldn't have figured those two for mission partners, but some people just fight well together."

They found Ichigo trying to fit as many of the little presents his friends had given him into some plastic bags. Kakashi pulled out a couple large suitcases. "Put what you can in here, and leave the rest for when you can return."

"I can return?" Ichigo asked.

"Of course you can," Kakashi said. "You'd better come back. I can't make it that far north to see you. You have to come south to see us."

"I will, Oji-Kakashi," Ichigo said. "Believe it!"

Kakashi winced. "You picked that up from Naruto, didn't you?"

"I guess I did," Ichigo said.

"I know you need to leave soon," Kakashi said, "but take time to say goodbye to your friends before you leave."

Ichigo ran out, his things half-packed. Kiria poked her head into the room. Kakashi sighed. "Kids are so chaotic," he said.

"He can't take all this stuff," Kiria said.

"I'll keep it for him," Kakashi said. "He'll always have a place here."

It took two days for them to make the rounds of Ichigo's new friends. When it was time to leave they had to assume a new disguise.

"I'm sorry we can't let your friends see us off," Kiria said.

"That's ok," Ichigo said. "I understand the need for disguise. Goodbye Oji-Kakashi. I'll come back as soon as I can."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

When they reached the Sound Kabuto was at the lab, working on the clone project. "Hey nerd," he heard from behind him.

He turned so fast he almost tripped over himself, and he hugged her tightly, not even bothering to put down the empty beaker he was holding. "I'm so glad to see you," he said.

He saw Ichigo behind her. "Welcome back, Ichigo," he said.

"Thank you sir," Ichigo said. "It's good to be home."

"He knows about you," Kiria said.

"Welcome home son," Kabuto said. "I never thought I'd get to say those words."

"Thank you father," Ichigo said. "I hope to make you proud of me."

"I know you will," Kabuto said. "You already have."

"Is it true that you're the Hokage now?" Ichigo asked. "Did you really kill Orochimaru?"

Kabuto pulled away from Kiria and turned away, looking at the empty tanks. "I don't even know how many Sound children Orochimaru needlessly killed. He put our village at risk, for no reason. I did a horrible thing, Ichigo – something I can never forgive myself for."

He turned and looked his son in the eye. "I sacrificed my honor for the Sound village. I'll do the best I can to be the Hokage this village needs, but I'll never wipe that stain from my soul."

"No one should ever have to make the choice forced on you," Kiria said. "You have honor in my eyes."

"That helps," Kabuto said. "The rest of the village was horrified by Orochimaru's actions, and they see me as a hero, but it's what you two think of me that really matters."

Ichigo stood nearby, watching. "And you son?" Kabuto asked. "How do you feel about a father who did such a thing?"

"You gave more than your body for the village," Ichigo said. "I hope I never have to decide something like that, and besides, you're my Hokage. How could I not be proud to be the Hokage's son?"

Kiria stepped out of the lab and found a Genin. "This is Ichigo. Take him to Kabuto's house. I'll get the key." She gave him a key to the house. "It's your house too," she said. "Wait for me there. I want to talk to your father."

The silence of the lab was broken only by the beeps and whirring sounds of various machines.

"Was it horrible?" Kiria asked.

"At the end I found out he was nothing but base desires and selfish needs. I wish I'd never known. I kept thinking of my duty and my family. It's the only thing that's kept me alive."

"We're home now, darling," she said. "We can all start over now. I have a surprise for you too. You're son has already made his mark in the world."

"How is that?"

"It seems that he's a natural born diplomat," Kiria said. "He's been invited to go back to Konoha, and he has a permanent place in the Hatake household."

"Amazing," Kabuto said. "He's barely out of the tank and he's a diplomat."

"Yes," she said. "Now enough about Ichigo. I want to think about us for a while." Once again she had to take charge. _He's so naïve sexually, _she thought with a snicker.

"What's so funny?" Kabuto asked as she bent over one of the desk.

"Nothing," she said. "I'm just happy."

He took her over the desk, savoring every moment.

XXXXXXXXX

It was almost a year later before Ichigo returned to Konoha. This time he came in the dress of a Sound ninja. It was an official visit, and he was arriving in his capacity as negotiator.

When he saw Kakashi he kept a straight face until he came close enough to hug his uncle.

"You got taller," Kakashi said.

"Maybe you got shorter," Ichigo said. "Where's Oba-Anko?"

"She had to be out on a mission," Kakashi said. "She's excited to see you again."

"I need to see Tsuande-sama," Ichigo said. "I have actual training in diplomacy this time, and I think we can make more progress. We couldn't do it without what you'd already done, Oji-Kakashi."

"If I really started all of this between our villages than it's been worth it," Kakashi said. "are you too old to take your uncle's hand while we walk? I don't want to embarrass you."

Ichigo made sure to take the hand that Kakashi didn't need for his cane. "I'm never too old for that."

FIN


End file.
